⊱Qui étiez-vous avant qu'ils ne vous brisent le cœur?⊰

Who were you before they broke your heart?

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Le point de vue de Taehyung

Taehyung's POV

"Mind telling me what you were doing out there?"

I heaved a sigh before dropping my body on the bed, bouncing slightly. The whole ordeal with Kindness was exhausting at the least. I had endured my urges for a long while, but I just suddenly lost my composure and I was blaming it on the human qualities.

My emotions were all over the place and I hated it.

Sloth crossed his arms over his chest, giving me a disapproving frown. "Well?"

"I think I told you already. It's just an argument."

"Really?" His tone was sardonic and persistent. "With you holding a knife at her? Seriously? Stop shitting me, I know you would never hurt her like that. Again, a knife?"

I groaned, covering my face with my arm. "Fine. I saw Insoo and it somehow irked me more than before."

"So you were trying to kill him?"

Hearing his low voice, I bit my lips. "For years..."

"But you didn't." The bed dipped down next to me. "Plus, we can't directly take someone's life and you should know that already. Something else must have made you grab a knife and make such a rash decision like that."

"I don't know, I'm just..." A sigh mixed with a groan escaped me. "I don't know."

Silence engulfed us as our thoughts overrode our conversation. Kindness's words kept replaying in my head like a broken record.

"No matter what my answer is, it won't do anything to help your situation."

Her answer could help my never ending questions.

"At the end of this one year period of the agreement, I will be erased. That might help your pain."

Would it?

Hearing her say that, with such a sad smile made me doubt everything I was seeking. Revenge, closure, malice... Would they fill the gaping hole in my soul?

"I will get what you think I deserve."

No...

That's the last thing I want.

"Just remember that she's doing all this and putting her life on the line for you," Sloth whispered, breaking the silence. "She has only few months left to fulfill the agreement. I don't think pointing a knife at her is a good way to pass that time as 'appealing' as it sounds to you."

I breathed out a short laugh. "I still hate her."

"We know. It's why you're in hell now, of course we know."

"There's no good way to pass the few months that are left. It was better if she just didn't make that stupid agreement. Now, I'm stuck with her, these stupid human weaknesses and past memories I never wanted to visit again." My throat started burning again as my eyes watered like the irrational human I became. "I want to burn it all. Burn it until there's not a shred of past left."

"In all honesty, you should be grateful, Envy," he sighed, standing up. "Who could even do something like this for you? Sacrificing and devoting their life? You hate her... but does she?"

Clenching my jaw, I sat up on the bed, staring at the beige wall. "She hates me and she made it very clear before I died. This is just her guilt and 'virtue-ness' acting up to make her act like an angel who helps others."

"Going this far for you?" I stayed silent. "So... you want her to die...?"

I let the question linger in the dark silence.

I didn't know.

I wanted to give her my pain. Not to actually hurt her, but to make her understand how much she hurt me.

I couldn't understand how she was in heaven, okay with herself when she destroyed me completely.

The 'me' before she broke me...

Who was I before she broke my heart?

Would the me before cry after her when she left forever?

"I don't know, my brain isn't really working right now," I muttered before getting up and making my bed. "I want nothing but to sleep right now, Sloth, and you should know how that should feel."

"Alright... just don't do anything you would regret later."

With that, he disappeared, and I heaved a sigh.

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I couldn't sleep properly.

When the faint blue morning light seeped into the room through the creamy curtains, I gave up on napping and got up. What I needed was fresh air and crowded places.

Not bothering with my attire, I threw a plain button up shirt and a black wide legged loose pants over myself before grabbing my brown coat and walking out of my room.

"This is exactly why I wasn't tied down to a relationship before dying."

A familiar male voice came out from Kindness's room and I looked up to see the maroon haired, small faced Virtue coming out into the hallway with her with her black coat in hand. He had such a loud voice on par with Wrath as if red hair gave them a boost of screaming ability.

My gaze settled on Kindness as she locked the door. Her long orange hair was tied up in a ponytail with a deep blue ribbon that matched her ruffle cup blouse and flowed down her shoulder. She had a great sense of style, a skill she received from her mother.

Ever since we started this travel, my heart would always beat faster when I stared at her face and I hated it. Her innocent chocolate almond eyes encircled with thin but long eyelashes, her button nose and rounded soft cheeks, and the way her downturned full lips would lift into a heart shape whenever she smiled had me captivated all the time.

Like they always had when we were still alive.

"They say falling in love really screws someone." I looked back at the male when he started basically yelling through the hallway. "So what can I say, work over women all the way."

Ah, yes. Diligence.

"Ack." As soon as his amber eyes found mine, he froze. "Hey, there."

Kindness quickly whipped her head to see me and froze as well.

"Hi," I said, waiting for anything else but it never came. "Going somewhere?"

"Yeah, I was going to get you," she said, rubbing her arm, a little hesitant. "Since you're already heading out, let's go. We're going to Spain."

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After a silent and awkward breakfast together that didn't end as fast as I hoped, we sat opposite each other on a train and the silence ensued. Kindness kept staring outside the window while Diligence watched me like a hawk. He was probably mad at me for his fellow Virtue.

Like a watchdog.

"Don't you have work to do?"

He gave me a disgustingly sweet smile. "Thank you for worrying about me, Envy. I'm on one right now."

I lowered my eyelids before turning to Kindness who was acting like I didn't exist. "I see."

It was likely that she asked him to be with her.

And it irked me.

But I couldn't be mad at her after what I did yesterday...

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"This is nice and all, but work over women any day."

I rolled my eyes. "Then are you gay or what?"

Diligence gasped in horror, clutching his chest. "Heavens, no. I did have a few girlfriends when I was alive, for your information. So zip it, you demon."

I took a glimpse of Kindness smiling briefly but rolled my eyes, sighing and focused back on the performance. The flamenco dancer spun around the stage, her rose dress flowing and hypnotizing men and women alike.

Someone from a nearby table groaned. "She got the job while I couldn't. She's not even that good, my gosh."

"Shut up and eat your tacos," Kindness hissed at the women who flinched before huffing out in frustration. "Everywhere I go... Goodness!"

Her usual self was back. She was cute when she got angry.

Wait, what?

Diligence and her looked up at the same time and stared blankly into space. They stayed like that for a while as if hearing a voice in their heads before the maroon haired man stood up.

"Well then, see you later, sis." He saluted her to which she waved back, and walked out of the place, leaving us at last.

Still, nothing changed.

If anything, the silence became ten times heavier now that I couldn't bicker with him anymore.

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BE is comfort album-ized 😭
I've been wanting an album full of soft sad songs and now I couldn't be more content

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Thank you for reading 🥀