⊱La vulnérabilité des sentiments⊰

The vulnerability of feelings

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"Ooh la la!"

The charming looking deck officer asked for my hand before kissing the back of it, earning a chuckle from me.

"What a beautiful young lady!" Young, he thought. "Is this your first time taking a Seine River cruise?"

"It's not." I offered him a smile, gesturing to Envy beside me. "For him, it's the first time."

Envy seemed to be fidgeting a little until the worker exclaimed in delight. "Ah! Then you should prepare your eyes for a feast! It is the best way to see Paris' top sights, Monsieur."

It definitely was.

When I was human, one of the most vivid memory I would often visit back to was the cruise around Paris when traveling with my parents. The sights I took in then were absolutely breathtaking when I was a child, and I wanted the same feelings to wash over me just one more time. Just once when my heart was full of emotions.

The emerald haired man nodded slowly and before he could say anything, we were ushered to the ship when one of the workers announced the passengers to get on board. The ship was being filled with people of all ages, and most of them took their seats inside while I walked to the railings with Envy following me.

The air shifted when I took a deep breath. A faint sense of familiarity was tugging my heart as I expected.

The Eiffel tower stood tall near us and would be lit up in beautiful sparkling lights by the time we came back. Grand Palais, Place de la Concorde, the Louvre I was marveling at and all the monuments to see were feeding my heart with giddiness.

When I turned my head to say something to Envy, I found him a few feet away from me, leaning against the rails. Usual narrow eyes rounded in awe and pursed lips slightly agape in wonder, there stood a boy I used to know and used to adore.

A boy who loved every scenery, who wanted to capture them with his eyes, his camera and his heart. A boy who was so pure with how he viewed life, the angels wouldn't compare.

Someone so unreal, I would cry for.

Seeing this side of him that I was afraid was buried forever... I understood clearly that I still loved him. Past all the guilt and all the dislike, I was doing this because he still had my heart in the palm of his hands.

Even if I knew what he had become, I still wished to see this boy. And I could do anything to see his childlike grin.

I longed to be close to him.

The stars fell down from the sky every time he walked by and my heart would beat for him.

The buildings started lighting up like fairy lights when hues of blue overpowered all the other warm colors of the sky. The memories of when I took countless pictures of them with my mom and dad made my throat constrict.

"Wow! Yuni! Take a picture of me!"

I froze hearing my nickname slipping from Envy's mouth. In disbelief, I turned to him only to find him smiling at the lights with sparkling eyes, not realizing what he blurted.

I simply took out my phone and did what he asked to avoid tension. He started posing like a model and continued doing so... for nearly half an hour.

I didn't get on a cruise ship to be a photographer.

"Wait, I think that spot would look better-"

He stumbled backwards when I shoved the phone up his chin for a bad picture.

"What the-"

Laughing boisterously, I took close-up shots to tease him out of boredom, prompting chuckles from him. The pictures looked silly but then again, he was too photogenic to look funny.

With a faint grin, he started making weird faces that I couldn't help but laugh more. It brought back memories I cherished, and it hurt deep down but I was too happy to care.

"Come on," I wheezed, handing him my phone before taking his place. "Take my pictures now."

He obliged and started taking pictures like he used to when we were humans. Professional.

"Put one arm on the railings and smile a little."

I did as told and tilted my head, smiling at the camera. He continued teaching me poses and I followed, already used to being instructed like that. Like a reflex.

I thanked him when he took more than enough pictures and put the phone back in my pocket as we stood side by side against the railings, watching the scenery. It felt like a festival in a fairytale especially from a ship.

When the wind disheveled my hair, I tucked in a few strands behind my ears and sneaked a glimpse at Envy who was still in awe.

"So you witnessed this before, huh?"

I hummed. "My parents took me on a cruise before. Beautiful, isn't it?"

"Breathtaking."

My lips curled up in content as we exchanged soft smiles and my heart was at ease to be standing by his comfort.

It became another memory I would often visit back to.

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"Here."

Envy's eyes glimmered when I handed him a strawberry crepe as I exited the small store. "Strawberry?"

"Of course." I flashed him a grin before waving mine. "I got blueberry."

For a brief moment, he stared at the crepe in silence. His eyes were devoid of any emotions. I was suddenly scared that he was either going to tell me that he no longer liked strawberries or throw the crepe away. But he slowly brought it up to his pursed lips to take a bite and turned around to walk.

"It's good," he mumbled so low that I could have missed it. But I didn't. Flurries of warmth fluttered my heart and I beamed at him after catching up.

Letting out a squeak, he suddenly stumbled forward, and I immediately wrapped my hand around his arm and the other around his torso to pull him back.

"Taehyung!"

I quickly wrapped my arms around the boy and held him back. He was quite heavy in my arms but he immediately pulled himself back, standing upright.

"I think you just..."

Taehyung turned his head to look at me wide eyed while my lips curled up into a smirk.

"...fell for me?"

A deep frown contorted his face, making me burst out laughing. I was never the type to flirt with boys... but with him, I just wanted to tease him all the time.

His deep eyes captured mine. The intensity of his gaze entranced me, pulling me into its bottomless depth. My limbs seemed to have lost all feelings.

"I'm fine," he broke the silence first since my mouth was definitely not cooperating with me.

"Yes, of course."

Clearing my throat, I walked away to put some distance between us before continuing to walk. My heart was quivering within my ribs. I was fine with him staring at me before all the time. Why was my heart acting stupid now?

Grumbling and groaning quietly, I kept walking ahead of Envy, not knowing where I was going. It was definitely the human qualities that were messing with my heart. I was so tuned to my feelings.

My aimlessly drifting eyes suddenly came to a halt, sticking to a young man a few feet away.

Breath hitching, I studied him as my pace came to a stop. His double eyelidded ebony eyes formed crescents and full lips formed the usual heart shape as he laughed with the girl sitting beside him in a restaurant terrace. The sheer joy he exuded warmed my heart and I wanted it that way forever.

"Park Insoo," Envy whispered beside me and it send cold shivers down my spine. His tone was rumbling and heavy laced with stark hatred and bloodlust. I was trembling in his presence, struggling to let air enter my crushed lungs.

Unable to look him in the eyes, I gathered willpower and grabbed Envy's hand with my shaky one.

"We're going back."

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