The Danger of Restlessness
Seconds passed into minutes and minutes turned into hours yet still Kylo Ren, despite his mental exhaustion and his physical fatigue, could not fall asleep. In truth, that was partly because he didn't really want to. There was a chance once he did his Master would be there waiting for him the second he was unconscious, just as he was the moment his Knights removed him from Ahch' To. He'd still been blacked out after the heavy hit he took courtesy of the large rock that had smashed him in the back of the head about twenty minutes prior, and his Master had impatiently taken advantage of this.
The Supreme Leader was not angry with his apprentice, but he was not particularly pleased either. His Master only knew what Ren had allowed him to see and of course that was minimal. It was easy to pass off the information in a way that seemed complete. He'd already been thinking of how much he would and would not present of the time he'd spent on the island to the true leader of the First Order and when he came to invade his mind Kylo was prepared mentally and physically for the intrusion.
Lord Snoke was not pleased that Luke still lived but he did seem unusually interested in Ren's progress with the girl. At the time Ren showed no response. He allowed no emotions through his mannerisms or mind to pass through him. He wouldn't reveal any kind of weakness while his Master looked upon him, or through him. He was not physically present of course, he was hardly ever that, but he stirred in his mind the second kylo left the shelter of the island just the same. The damage to his head had proven useful to him, an unplanned but perfect excuse to feed his master time lapses and fuzzy images, some of which hadn't even been his intention. Apparently, it was a really hard hit he'd sustained.
Even in his sleep when Snoke invaded his thoughts Kylo felt physically sick, picking and plucking through his head cruelly in an attempt to find out what had transpired on the island over the last forty plus hours his apprentice had been there, half of which he'd spent sleeping thanks to the timing of his landing there so late in the evening. He'd seen only what Kylo kept on the surface and it had been easier then Ren expected it to be. It surprised him but he didn't allow the feeling to sink in until he was mentally far from Snoke's probing gaze.
"I see." His Master had said for the third time between other small statements or words that informed Ren of every time the Dark Lord had found something else interesting or relevant within his mind. "Yes." He'd say as Ren kneeled before him, silently listening to the pitches and tones of his Masters words every time he spoke as though he could read the notes he heard. Of course it didn't matter how hard Kylo focused on the task as there were no changes, no expressions, and no emotions. Not from the first word to the last. Nothing had changed in The Supreme Leaders voice.
"The girl is powerful.... I see what draws you to her. Hmm, your abilities together... interesting." Where the longest sentences he'd spoken until...
"Enough... I have seen enough." The large hologram before him flickered and Ren swore he saw something.
And then, again, ...yes. In the flash of a blinking eye something had changed in his Masters expression. Perhaps, after the fuzz of the hologram cleared it was merely the realigning image of the humanoid that had made Ren think he saw it... but then there was the difference in his normally monotonous voice. He sounded... tired. As though picking through Ren's head had been a daunting task.
"I do not disagree with your desire to stay in the girl's good graces." His invasive voice ricocheted in Ren's already aching skull, but he wouldn't even twitch before his Master. "She truly is a unique thing in the Force, but Skywalker is and must remain our number one priority my son." Kylo wanted to cringe at his use of the word son. That development had started after Kylo had killed Han Solo, his father, or the father of the boy he once was.
But now Kylo was certain; yes, his master, now leaning back in his thrown, did have strain in his voice. How remarkable... and... curious.
"Yes Master, I require your guidance in that matter." Kylo knew just what to say, just how to play the faithful and endearing apprentice. "How am I to dispose of the Jedi with out... with out cutting ties with the girl... emotionally." He questioned carefully.
His master sighed. This to seemed to be on his mind and that made Kylo all the more curious. Why would his master care how the girl felt about his apprentice. They both knew Ren could force Rey into his submission using the Force bond between them. So why did his Master seem to agree with his need to have compliance from the girl, compliance of her own accord, that is.
"It seems we are at a precipice, Kylo Ren. You are wearing the girl down... I can see it. Her curiosity keeps her close at your heels. Her interest in you is changing and her connection to you is growing. Yet, we must not let this deter us from more important things. Skywalker must be eliminated and I trust no one but you with this task." His eyes bore into his apprentice. He searched for any signs of a reaction... anything other then Ren's eagerness to complete this task. Anything else would be considered traitorous. Ren was aware of the eyes that judged him and he kept himself in the role of the faithful apprentice without falter.
Kylo Ren stood straight then, pulling himself easily from his knee to stand proudly in front of his Master. "It will be done Master, if this is your wish. I will set the girl aside for now and-"
"No!" His Master interrupted him with an unexpected force in his tone. "The girl will remain a priority... still behind the Jedi Master, but you will not let her out of your sight." His Master ordered him, filling his head with confusion and irritation, some of which Kylo had intentionally placed there for his Master to find.
"You do not agree with me apprentice?" The Supreme Leader questioned his most prized Dark warrior, his finest achievement.
Kylo rolled his shoulders as though building up the courage to come forth to him about something that weighed heavily on him.
"Speak your mind boy." Lord Snoke encouraged and Kylo was surprised when there was no frustration or annoyance behind the gesture.
"Now that we have driven the last Jedi out of hiding... I want to prioritize him above all else. Every resource should go to hunting him down until his blood coats my hands." He crushed his gloved fists together, looking into his blackened palms as though envisioning the very idea he was selling.
His Master's posture straightened. He stood up from his darkened thrown and moved closer to his apprentice. Unable to see his feet, the creature that was his Master seemed to float towards Kylo, his feeble and damaged form drifted as though he were already of the beyond but Kylo Ren knew better. His Master was very much alive... judging from the strain that kept creeping into his voice since he'd searched through his apprentice's mind, possibly not entirely well, but he was alive.
His long arm rose, reaching out towards Kylo Ren's bared face but stopping just short. His hand opened and he nearly touched the surface over his scarred countenance. Ren stood tall, his eyes on his Master but not seeing anything as he focused them on nothing but the invisible air between them to keep from reacting to the unnerving gesture.
"I could not be more proud of you then I am now. There was a moment Kylo Ren... a moment when I was beginning to doubt your loyalties." His apprentice was unresponsive, cold and calculated as was expected of him.
Had he reacted to his Masters words like this months ago The Supreme Leader would have questioned him. He'd been so attached and encouraged in his emotions that this stony and unresponsive male before him now would have sparked questions. Master Snoke would have torn through his mind with out hesitation, but since his training, since the months of torture and remolding of his student coupled with the images Ren had purposely fed his Master since; images of him fighting Skywalker, beating him back twice, branding his face, using him for his own benefit to trap the girl into obedience... his Master had no reason to doubt him. From his Master's point of view, Kylo Ren's Darkness was in full bloom.
"I see now that you are truly ready for this task." He was certain... proud, but ominous. Kylo knew... he knew his Master was not done. He was never done. It was never this simple. "You will have your revenge on Luke Skywalker. This is your honor and your responsibility. You will kill him... or you, will kill the girl." He paused, giving himself a moment to read his apprentice before he continued. "For one to thrive, the other must die and you will be the harbinger that chooses one fate or the other." He warned his apprentice in a tone that said this was a decree.
Still there was no reaction. Ren stood as though his Master discussed their next planetary conquest. Just another day, just another mission. Then his Master placed his hand along the surface of his face, cupping the long path of his right cheek the same way his father had the moment after Kylo Ren had run him through with his lightsaber. His Masters long, nearly grey fingered hand rested over the length of the scar she'd given him, ironically in the very location his father's hand had last touched with more affection then he'd shown his son since he was a youngling.
Now the place he felt most vulnerable, most branded, was suffocating under the sickly, taut skin of the humanoid who excelled at manipulating the boy Ben and the insecure adolescent that had been renamed into Kylo Ren. But he was not that adolescent anymore. He was settling into himself nicely; he had been since he'd met her. He had to, she needed him and this was what he was built of now. He was impenetrable against the destructive force that his Master wielded. The armor Kylo wore to protect her did not crack, it didn't even bend. He stared ahead, unaffected by the test his Master was giving him but his test did not end there.
"One or both will die." His boney thumb pressed into the slightly raised tissue of his scar." When Luke falls, by your hand... the girl is yours. No further requirements will be needed. No tests. No terms. Just... yours." His voice was almost a purr by the end and though Kylo Ren had prepared himself so as not to be led further by the temptations he knew his Master would try to dangle in front of his face, he unconsciously reacted to this.
His eyes visibly darkened and his power welled within their irises. The very essence of his power glowed beneath the surface to emit a shimmering illumination that reflected back at him through his Master's onyx eyes. It was the only reaction Kylo couldn't control and he immediately knew the cause. He could feel it stirring to life within him. It was not just his Darkness, not just his prime, certainly not just the desire of a man for a woman. It was deeper then all of those things combined. It was the very power that threaded through his DNA, ran through his blood, and bound to the molecules that comprised everything that became Kylo Ren, from the pliable shell of his skin, to the density of his bones and everything in between and beneath; it was his Force. Kylo's Force bond was pulling at him internally and this was the reaction his Master saw now.
Upon glimpsing into the black mirrors of The Supreme Leader's orbs the temperature of Kylo's flesh, from head to toe, rose several degrees and counting. The very fiber of his muscles constricted and the rigid shift in his body was so minuscule, so imperceptible, that even Kylo Ren himself hadn't noticed the slight change in his form... but his Master did. Ren shifted slightly and his Master's mouth pulled into a twisted, crooked smile. A slimy grin on a distorted face that informed Kylo that he'd gotten him. The bait was tantalizingly sweet, the trap was set and Snoke had led his unbelievably Force strong prodigy right into it. Hook, line, sink.
"Use your Third knight, Master of Ren. It is within your rites. There is much she can teach you and though I am impressed by your natural ability to... sway the girl to you, the lessons you will learn will only improve your prowess." Kylo's mouth opened to counter his Masters observations and halt his suggestions but he quickly snapped it back shut realizing nothing from his Masters words were to be anything less then a command.
"Do not think I do not know you have been avoiding her." He said suddenly, and with an edge in his normally level tone.
"It is a weakness I am passed now, Master. Your words are wise and I have seen the shortcomings in my own knowledge. I have found myself lacking and I will improve through your guidance. If this is what you suggest, then I am bound to obey." Kylo acquiesced convincingly.
The Supreme Leader's hand left his face then. His Long head tilted upwards just enough to raid his chin and his form straightened before he turned from his apprentice. "Do not worry over her reaction to what must be done. She will learn her place once she is by your side." He stepped back up to his holographic throne. "The girl is bound to you whether she likes it or not. With time and patience she will join us. Once Skywalker is out of the way she will have no other choice. She will join us on the Dark side or she will be forced into submission. Either way she will stand by your side." He positioned himself regally on his thrown and Kylo fought the urge to cringe.
"If she refuses you there are many ways to break the resolve of a strong will. We will discover hers, we will test it until she breaks and we will build her back up in the image that we create." His hand rested on the arm of his thrown as he spoke and Kylo took note of the way his fingers toyed along the stoney surface. He'd never notinpced the human like fidgeting before now and he wondered if this was a first or if it was something he'd previously missed before. "The most powerful male Force user and the most powerful female... imagine the possibilities...?" His Master's words trailed of quietly, as though this were a thought he'd projected with out his notice.
When he'd woken his Masters final words still rang in his ears. He'd shot up in his bed, his eyes flying open to take in the world around him. He sat soaked in his sweat saturated sheets. His hair had been stuck to his pillow and matted in place by a thick goop'ing gel that was worked into his head in an attempt to quicken the healing process over the swelling and bleeding gash he'd had when he was brought aboard the First Order flag ship. The bacta gel had smeared all over his face and hands as he reached back to assess the already mostly healed damage to his skull. He was sore but he'd again survive. He'd shut off his connection to his Force bond the second he'd felt his Master digging into his walls while they spoke. So far Snoke was unsuccessful in his attempts to penetrate the bond that he and Rey had and Kylo wanted to keep it that way no matter the cost.
Upon waking the interactions between he and his Master had flooded his mind and his hand flew to his face. His fingers ghosted over the raised skin of his scar and for a moment he felt his Master's hand in it's place. Unable to hold back his emotions any longer, Kylo lurched forward and the uncontrollable reaction took him by surprise. He flew from the bed and gripped at his mouth with one hand and wrapped his arm across his churning stomach with the other but it was no use, his body gave way to the disgust he'd been forced to endure while his Master had touched him. His insides came out all at once as he emptied the already scarce contents onto the floor by his bed. He heaved until there was nothing left inside to come out and even then he gagged on air, dry heaving until his throat burned from the forced expansion of the muscles within.
Shortly there after, he'd cleaned up and sought out his First in command. He wanted answers. Rey was not aboard the ship and he wanted to know why. He knew she was a good distance away, even in her unconscious state and with their bond tightly sealed off he could feel the hum of their connection, but why was she unconscious? He felt the unbelievable urge to reach out to her. His empty stomach stirred and twisted with the need. It wasn't safe, he knew it wasn't safe... he should leave her be. At least until he was sure his Master was unable to reach in his mind... but Ren couldn't ignore the tugging in his chest. His bond called to him, just as it had done in his dream like state while his Master spoke of her.
Kylo allowed a slight opening in the connection and the flash of white hot pain shot through him. He clutched at his right leg, instantly falling to his knee. His response was quick. He ignored the heat of what he felt on his end to focus on her. She was hurt, she needed him and he'd nearly ignored the instincts that had been implanted in him through their bond. He joined her in her mind and panic stabbed through his heart when he saw her condition. There was so much blood. She was tightly confined but he didn't pay any attention to that. He couldn't tear his mind away from the pain that was running through her right limb and portions of her torso.
His mind worked to identify the extent of damage done to her body. It was hard to tell through the gushing blood. There was a makeshift tourniquet compressing the upper half of her right leg, just passed her thigh. He could feel the numbness of her toes and he'd wished her adrenaline would have been spiked high enough to keep her from feeling the over whelming pain through the rest of her leg but it seemed that spike had long since passed, leaving her senses vulnerable to the fiery pain that was rampaging through her. The only relief the knowledge brought him was that she could still feel the limb thus it was still savable and somehow she hadn't completely bled out... yet. He felt the weak beat of her heart through his own chest and he needed no further inclinations before he decided what he would do.
He decided this was a circumstance that would merit his actions with out her approval, not that her state of unconsciousness left her a choice in the matter anyway. Kylo Ren forced himself further into her mind with out a second thought or hesitance. This was for her, she needed this. He fed her his strength, willed his power to her through the line of their flowing bond, a line that seemed to grow in mass and fluorescence the more power he shared with her. The once thin line became thick and pulsed with the rush of his Force into her. For a moment he wondered if this was too much, if this would do more damage then he'd found her in but when he felt her the strum of her heart thud with the strength that he gave her and her mind stirring to life, he'd become to elated to think further on it.
He hated that she was waking to pain. He hated her in any discomfort but he was already working to ease that. He almost wished that she'd have stayed passed out until he was finished as the worst was yet to come. He soothed her as she woke to him in her mind. She didn't seem to notice his invasion and Kylo used what time he had left to take over her further, before she was aware enough to fight him. He grabbed at her wounds with her hand and held her down firmly with the other. He absorbed as much of the pain on his end as he could with out exerting himself to where he couldn't help her. He needed to remain in control until he was finished and that meant that she had to allow him here. She would still feel a great amount of pain.
It broke his heart when she'd begged him to stop. Literally he felt like the organ was crushing in his chest and he swore he'd pass into the after life if he had to hear her beg him in such a way for any longer but of course he couldn't stop until the damage done to her had been repaired. He was able to pull what had happened from her mind with out her taking notice. She'd gotten pinned under a rock trying to free him from the cave he'd been trapped in. This was his fault... his fault. She could have died. She was dying when he found her... if he hadn't come... if he'd have ignored this any longer...
His eyes pinched shut as he finished up what must have felt like torture to her but it was done. It was over. She'd live and she'd keep her leg. A leg she'd almost lost to get to him. Her friend, the traitor, he had tried to pull her away, tried to get her in the Millennium Falcon, but she'd refused to leave him. She wanted to help him... why?
They were quiet together for a while, he figured she'd need some time after the ordeal she'd just been through, and then something on her end interrupted the recuperating silence between them. A silence they both needed to gather themselves before moving forward. There were hands on her face and they weren't his. It was who ever was left to care for her, he was sure of it but he was too focused on her to bother discovering who it was that worried over her now. Once the pulling hands were gone and he'd finished healing her until he was certain even a blemish wouldn't remain, he released her hands from his hold. He was going to leave her then, but he got the feeling she didn't want him to and when she'd practically begged him to stay... of course he did. Then...
"Why?" Her weak and shaky voiced pushed through her head and even that was almost too much for her to achieve. She was so tired.
He focused on feeding her more of his strength, he'd set no limit if it helped her recover faster. He soothed her as best as he could. He knew she probably didn't want him touching her but he couldn't fight the urge he had to do so anyway, so he didn't stop himself when he moved a hand to wipe the perspiration and hair matted along her forehead. He wished he could erase all traces of her injury. The projection of his hand rested gently over her head and he didn't stop there. He felt the need to be by her through this and his mind did the best it could to place himself there. His lips quivered on his end but he would show only his strength to her while he was here. She needed him to be solid while he presented himself to her now.
His face dipped over hers and he spoke along the clammy skin of her cheek. "You were in pain." He remembered saying.
He stopped the memory there. His voice had been weak and now his fists were shaking. He was shaking. He couldn't do this right now, he couldn't recap the events of the last twenty four hours with out being affected by them again. He was glad his Master had come to him before he'd found her like that or he may have fallen apart. He was thankful he'd stayed with her, meditating the day away to do so, she needed him. Whether she knew it or not, and honestly she didn't and that was his fault. He'd intended to leave her alone. He intended to let her get through the rest on her own; but he'd also assumed she'd sleep the rest of the day away.
He didn't expect to find her lost in a memory of a time she'd long since forgotten. A memory that had called to him the second Ben Solo had appeared in it. The memory had set off an unsettling Force vision, as somehow she'd managed to find herself in the location of the very memory she was having. After that he couldn't leave her. There was too much darkness in her mind. Something had stirred in her that had been dormant. He could feel how old it was but as it was a vision that he was only a spectator in, he couldn't pin down what the thing was that had intruded on the three year old version of Kira but Ben could sense it to and that worried the adult version of himself. What ever it was had clearly been with her again three years later while the she ran from the boy Ben. Kylo Ren struggled around this memory as he tossed and turned trying to sleep but it was to long ago and to much had happened in between then and now. He couldn't remember anything she hadn't shown him through her mind.
He wanted to linger on the conversation they'd had after the vision. Maybe it was his desperation to have her, or her internal need to be comforted after the awful memory she'd rediscovered, but he was certain she was about to let go, she was about to give in to him. He really thought she was about to accept him, allow him to come get her. Any word she would have uttered would have been all the permission he needed. Any word but no...
Of course he hadn't gotten the chance to find out because 2187 had interrupted them and he'd lost the chance he had to find out whether or not she would have chosen him before the two days where up. After that he'd take her either way. For her the moment had passed and Ren knew he had to let that go. It was for the best anyway. He needed the time in between then and the next time he saw her to plan and she needed sleep.
His heart sunk in his chest knowing the next time he saw her she'd hate him. There was no way around it. He was sure this also had to be a reason he couldn't sleep. He really didn't need to mentally or physically torture himself further by trying to sleep anyway. Not while his restless even while anxiously tired body, had other plans. He had just over twenty four hours to go until the two days he'd given her was up. Kriff, he needed something to do to pass the majority of the time. There wasn't much he could do at this hour, but hell if he wasn't about to get creative...
He swung his feet out from the bed and marched to his wardrobe, the pads of his feet half dragging from sleep, or lack there of, made light sounds against the chilled metal floor they shuffled over as he moved. Still deep in his thoughts Ren finally had an idea about what he could do to make this night a little more tolerable. His feet picked up higher, no longer heavily dragging from boredom or restlessness. Now his steps were full of purpose and Kylo moved with a graceful yet menacing, if only through sheer habit, certainty. He found himself fully donned in his midnight colored armor, helmet included as would be expected of him, in front of a cell door. There was a smirk on his face and curiosity in his mind. This could be interesting... it could go one way or another really... there could be no in between.
*Hello my lovelies, so this is an off topic well topic, lol, (cringing at my own lol) but one of my favorite Wattpad authors; ssjmsjm , is starting a in post production of a really cool AU about The Walking Dead. Her first story is called Last One Standing and it's a Daryl Dixon and original female character lead who is out of this world. It's dark and gritty, yet strong and courageous. The characters are true to the show and the original character is literally my favorite original character I've ever invested in and I'm so invested in her that I may or may not (I do) have a slight girl crush on her... anyway, the story follows closely with the T.V. Show with obvious minor tweaks to intertwine the new character in the plot which this writer does seamlessly well.
The new story she is trying out is another AU based off of the same story line as her first book but it branches out to it's own stand alone. You don't even have to check the first book out but if you like TWD or Daryl, cuz that's enough bait right there, do it. You will not regret this! The new story features our original female and Negan... yes Negan... I know, I'm also as excited as I am disturbed. I'm looking forward to this story and I want to give her as much encouragement as I possible can so she continues... so please if you are interested at all, go check it out. It's called Last One Fighting ~LOS AU (remember it's a stand alone so no pressure to read the first, but it's great if you do.) The author is on my following page and so are her stories.
That being said; ssjmsjm, I hope you don't mind I plugged your story... but I need you to write the new AU... feel free to judge me lol (inserts judgment here_____ ) and if you don't like this I'm sorry and I'll take it down asap.*
~ Ok back to our regularly scheduled program; Kylo Ren and our lovely miss Rey.... *types away at the next chapter tirelessly.... oh the pain... (*huge smile on her face) Rate⭐️, Comment, and discuss! I love you all!~
-DarkGuardian-
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