15th of October, 12.25 am

Here I am, sitting on the floor, typing.

I just finished reading everyone else's entries today.. I mean, yesterday. As always.. Fae took me on a ride, once again.

~

She talked about friendship and shit, and truth be told.. I was tearin up. Then she suddenly brought up a "Lays" and a "Micro". Dayum, I looked insane. Laughing with a tear or two. We come up with such creative names, I swear. I think I'm emotionally unstable alone, but more at the moment because I just got back from a sound trip.

...

Since the subject was brought up, I felt like talking about it now.

Once again.. "Every beginning has an ending" -friendship edition. Nyaz! Aren't I just depressing??

So as Fae said. She's fleeing away next year. Running away with some guy in the name of love. -jk.

Point is, so am I~ (leaving, not running away with a guy. lel.. -maybe O-O)

As I'm writing this, I unconsciously sit idly by for a minute or two every after a sentence that I've finish typing, though I'm not sure if am thinking. Am lost for words, yet drowning.

In this day and age, connection ain't really a problem. Yet I feel like I'm from the 19th century thinking of ways I could connect with people who's addresses I know. But for some reason, seem distant.

I see them everyday, not wondering why I don't get tired of their gorgeous faces, every now and then complains about their fab singing voices, yearn for their presence when alone. And I swear, I'd rather be "killed to death" by their cringy asf jokes and pick up's than living a life without them at all.

I've often whined about how one's life, more specifically -mine, can be as scripted as every other cartoon characters'. Get up and sleep is all it is, then you do stuff in between. But in my case, the usual highlights of my cartoonish like-life, is School and Skype (sounds sad, but not really -I think) then just random other things in between and around that. So after whining about it, now am asking questions like.. "Why does it have to change NOW??" Which is weird, because I like changes.. used to~ Depends.

I don't wanna get all dramatic today, so I'll just be sappy~

There are these type of people that'd say they're days aren't complete without talking or seeing bae, without chocolate or coffee, or maybe even a good fap and a porno session. (Keep in mind that I'm just saying all that, because my hopes for this book becoming all drowned in fame and glory is still way over the top, so I wanna make the range a tad bit wider. You know, for the soon-to-be-a-billion-people that will read this to relate?? xD -Nothin' wrong with dreaming) But just to reassure you guys, I'm NOT one of those.

My normal everyday life is.. *error!!! cannot be classified*. Umm.. let's just say it's unlike any other.

1. You'd hear every swear, curse, offensive insults, words , phrases and slurs, from every language known to men, animal and spiritual, celestial, and out of this world being.

-But it actually means we're that close. We can storm each other without getting all bitchy. And for some reason, it's officially our way of communication.

2. People get all physical. -I've dragged, hit, tripped, flipped, stripped, not licked (yet), a person. And no, am not "bullying". What you give is what you get. All that blessing boomerangs back in a faster speed with a heavier blow.

-I don't get why we do that.. love?? We call it friendship, no joke.

and.. I've limited myself to within 1000 words, so am gonna have to cut it short.

What am trynna say is.. I don't think I'm ever gonna find a gang like this, and I don't know if I wanna find it out. But the world is vast, yet not impossible to grasp, and I wanna explore it. The thing is, I wanna drag them with me. I want them to be there every step of the maybe muddy, sloppy and crooked way. I want to talk to them again and again about things we did together in that same day like we didn't know what happened, like we were with different people. Then we'd all be laughing and asking why we're talking about the things we did together.

But maybe temporary (hopefully) separation's gonna be good and beneficial in a way, for everyone. We'd see how life is without each other. But basing it on experience.. it ain't so far.

I felt this distance with Vera just this mornin'. She's a part of this book. A part of "this" but I kind of didn't know how to talk to her when we were together, and it felt like my presence bothered her. I was close, but it's like she built this wall around her. Maybe she was just not in the mood for talking -maybe.

Am not complaining or rubbing salt here, just stating an observation. I cant really blame anyone. It's just what it is. This is what distance creates. Though I'd never expected me to be.. that.

This is why LDR shouldn't even be considered an option. (Am speaking like am a veteran when it comes to relationship type situations. xD)

lel. Am gonna stawp now. I'm grossing myself out. Too much cheesiness in just around a thousand words. xP

So amma carry on if I still feel like being all cornnie tomoz~

Ciao.. at 2.05 am. And yes. Yes, I have been writing, editing, re-writing and re-editing this for more than an hour and a half.

Have fun reading this and good luck. Hope you're not dead by the time you've reached this far. I don't think most of you are even gonna finish. But the strong shall survive (and the seeds shall scatter and spread) x}

-Nyx