It's 8.55pm and I don't know what to do. Wait.. I actually do~ But meh.

Well out of a lot of things I could tell you guys about me, let's talk about my "other" life.

October 13, 2016.

I'm not really someone you'd classify as one of those "typical teenagers", at least I don't classify myself as one. I'm not really someone you'd call "lonely" or "famous". But yeah.. everyone feels left out from time to time, but more often in my case, specially when all you want to happen to you is belong. Yet, for some unknown reason, that's what the world and everyone in it doesn't want you to be or have. That feeling of actually being a part of the World~

-I just noticed I used the term "left out"?? No.. more like not belonging -Yes. there IS a big difference.

So lel, here I am now listening to something I can't relate to. Things like this always frustrate and bother me way more than the people around me know. And that's what got me to write this. That feeling that I just can't explain.

x))

Like I said. "Once I get into something, it's hard for me to stop. Until I get a lil' bit over it and find another thing that peaks my interest"

And here's where "it" all began~

I sort of gotten into a whole bunch of communities more than a year ago and yeah.. It's sort of Nyx's safe place. People don't know me. I don't know them. I'm myself. Just all wild-er, more all over the place-er and I don't have to worry about all the things I'm not and just.. let go.

It's also somehow built me up in a way or two.. -unexplainable. Just 'cuz.

Let's just say it's one of the things I can go to for an escape. A wild rollercoaster trip away from reality, because my life goes from North to South.. to Mars pole in like a sec. Every day. On repeat. And sadly.. maybe for life.

Well.. this are one of the many things I don't really like to talk to certain people about openly. Not because I don't want to, or I'm bothered., lel no. I'm just one of those people who doesn't know how to, specially when it comes to me. I swear.. I can defend, stand up and or back someone else up a billion times better than I can, myself. I'd most probably just zip-it if I weren't in the mood.

I just find it hard to be all about me, in a serious kinda manner, that's not like this^^ (So if you got me talking.. Just hush up. Listen. And roll with me. Because that might be one of your rare "one-in-a-billion-chance" moments) .

I just really don't wanna remind myself about the "here". Which may or may not be a good thing. Because I swear, my memories're all over the place, or is blank. Since I think my brains so used to suppressing history, it updated and has learned to auto delete without consent. It's affecting everything and is just magically going downhill, which is my usual-normal-everyday-life (Not really a good thing to get used to, 'cuz it makes you all emotionless, that you start to not know what feelings actually are) All I have are sentiments. Pain with no explanations now.

Just empty.

So yeah.. just read this and move on, so I could tell you guys more when I feel like it. And hopefully I do, because no one really knows anyone. And me just draining this out of me?? Am doing this because I don't like keeping things from people I truly care about ;)) Not for attention. Am just letting you know. I'm still kinda looking for a person I can shower my storms with.. even though I know I already have those. idek~

Though I'd just feel like I'd be dragging them down with me. Drowning them with my own weight, plus the world on my shoulders. So yeah.

-Eww, so much drama Nyx. YOU DISGUST ME!!! xD

I'm still waiting for the day where I'd be all wild and partying in my own entry. Today's not the day, I guess~

Nytzz.. Salfas'!!!

~

9.48pm And am done with ^^. NYAZ!

1.56am.. Wut am I doing with my life -More editing xD