Matapos kong kuhanin ang bimpo na may warm water mula sa kusina, lumakad na akong muli pabalik sa kwarto ko, kung saan nakahiga mismo si Gon at nagpapahinga dahil ang gago, tinatamaan din naman ng sakit at iyon ay lagnat---maliban sa kamayakan!

Dahan-dahan kong isinarado ang pinto at marahan ding naglakad palapit sa kama. Inilapag ko muna sa side table ang basin na may bimpo bago naupo sa gilid ng kama.

Muli kong napagmasdan ang mukha ni Gon na natutulog nang mahimbing habang balot ang katawan sa comforter, mukha lang ang kita.

I bit my lip to prevent myself from chuckling. "...kahit gaano pa kalaki at katikas ang katawan mo, babagsak pa rin iyan sa lagnat, pft." I said under my breathe and gently removed the comforter around his body.

Followed after, piniga ko nang mabuti ang towel before carefully dabbed it on Gonʼs arm, trying not to wake him up. "...Iʼll just need to do this, Gon. Please, donʼt wake up yet." I mumbled with a winced on my lips.

Nang sandaling lumapat ang aking kamay na may bimpo sa kaniyang pisngi, laking gulat ko na lamang nang biglang hawakan ni Gon iyon at marahang binuksan ang mga mata.

With gentle eyes, he stared at me. "S-Stay," he uttered with asperity and cradled my hand.

I smiled, a forced one. "...s-sure." I answered reluctantly.

He smile back but it wasnʼt reached his eyes. "T-Thank you," he said then let go of my hand.

Ipinagpatuloy ko na lamang muna ang pagpupunas sa kaniyang mukha, braso upang ma-lessen ang init ng kaniyang katawan.

"How do feel, Gon?" I asked after putting the towel back on the basin and sat down with indian style beside him.

I even touch his forehead to know if the heat temperature gone low. But it did not.

I sighed. "Ang taas pa rin ng lagnat mo, Gon. Goodness," problemadong sambit ko at tinitigan siya. "How do you feel?" I asked again.

Bumangon ito mula sa pagkakahiga at isinandal ang sarili sa headboard bago nakipagtalastasan ng tingin sa akin. "Idonʼt know. Check me out, can you?" he answered then asked afterwards.

"E-Eh?" wala sa sariling sagot ko.

He pouted his red lips and looked down on his hand and pretended to played with it. "...itʼs okay, baby. You can leave me here---" nagtatampong aniya ngunit natigil nang sandaling lapitan ko agad siya at haplusin muli ang kaniyang leeg at noo.

"Youʼre not okay! You are still sick! Happy now?!" I hissed and glared at him.

He chuckled then grabbed hand 'till we were an inch apart. "Not that way, baby. Tsk." with hoarseness in utterance, he uttered.

My forehead creased. My eyes suspected him and my mind was drag down on the unknown pits. "...e, how?" I asked.

He stared at me deeply. But seconds later, his eyes leave a glance on my cheeks. Nose. Jaw, and last...his pair of eyes travelled down my l-lips...

I gulped.

Nawala yata bigla ako sa sariling katawan at isipan nang sandaling, unti-unti na nitong ilapit ang mukha sa akin. Dahil doʼn, hindi ko nagawang i-condition agad ang aking sarili kung kayaʼt---nahuli ni Gon ang aking batok at marahang hawakan!

My body froze in an instant!

G-Goodness, is he going to steal a kiss on me na naman?!

Breathing heavily, "Alli, you better check how was my feeling through this technique," with a hint of seduction, he said.

I gulped again. "W-What? I mean---how?" I asked, as if no clue.

He smirked. "...this way," aniya.

Mas lalo akong nawala sa sariling diwa nang ilapat ni Gon ang kaniyang mainit at malambot na mga labi sa aking labi!

G-Goodness! Sabi ko na, sabi ko na---

"O-Ouch naman, Gon! Why did you bite my lips, huh?!" inis kong tanong dito at inilayo ang mukha sa kaniya nang bahagya matapos niyang kagatin ang aking pang-ibabang labi!

He smirked. "Nakakapanggigil, e." he answered playfully.

I let out an amused sigh. "Really, huh? Fyi, Mr. La Galliene--- my lips are off-limits to you! So donʼt kiss me again---ump!"

He slammed his lips again against mine! And this time, it was intensifying and damn petrifying in my whole system!

I tried to pushed him but he held my nape way tigher and closer to his lips to deepen the kiss!

"G-Gon---ump! S-sanda---ump! A-Ano---ump!"

Kada pipigilas kasi ako at ilalayo ang sariling mukha dito, mas hinahalikan niya ako at mas pinanggigigilan!

In one swift move, nagawa akong ihiga ni Gon sa kama. He even positioned himself on top of me, still, kissing my lips.

Kinabahan ako.

Sa pagtagal kasi ng ginagawa niyang paghalik sa akin, bumababa ang ang labi at ngayon ay nasa leeg ko na at masuyo akong hinahalikan doon na may nagtitimping panggigigil, base na rin sa paraan niya nang pagsipsip sa aking skin!

I gulped hard the moment Gon nabbed both of my hands and put those above my head!

His kisses went rough. His lips, which happened to be savouring every inch of my skin on my neck now, gave my eyes reason to welled-up due to the mixed up feelings.

Nervousness and startles.

Napapikit ako nang dumako ang mga makakasalanang labi ni Gon sa bungad ng dibdib ko. "G-Gon," I called, almost choking.

But he did not listen to me. Instead, he kissed my c-cleavage.

"...p-please, d-donʼt..." I pled with quivering voice.

He did not stop. Dahil sa halip, tinanggal niya ang isang kamay niyang nakahawak sa pareho kong kamay sa ibabaw ng aking ulo. Ang isa naman ay naging sapat upang hawakan ang parehong kamay ko sapagkat hindi gaanong kalakihan ang aking wrist kung kayaʼt hindi naging mahirap dito na pakawalan ang isang kamay niya.

...at pinakawalan niya ang isang kamay niya upang lamang---maglakbay sa aking katawan!

I felt the nervousness more!

Ramdam ko din na nanginginig ang pareho kong tuhod at nanlalamig naman ang aking mga kamay, dahilan upang mas mawalan ako ng lakas upang lumaban sa kung ano man ang gagawin sa akin ni Gon ngayong gabi!

He put his dominant hand inside my blouse and searched for the clasps of my brassiere and the moment he find it, walang alinlangan niyang tinanggal iyon gamit lamang ang isang kamay.

With too much desire in his eyes, he looked at me.

My tears travelled down at the corner of my eyes. And with quivering lips and pleading eyes, I looked at him. "...s-stop, p-please." I pled and sobbed hard.

Kita ko ang bahagyang panlalaki ng kaniyang mga mata nang sandaling bigkasin ko ang aking pakiusap dito dahil mabilis niyang tinanggal ang kamay niya sa loob ng aking blouse at umalis sa aking ibabaw.

"S-Shit, Alli---damn, I-Iʼm sorry," he apologized at daglian aking ibinangon upang yakapin nang mahigit. He even kissed my hair. "...I-Iʼm sorry, baby...sorry...I-I wasnʼt aware, damn it." he regretted as he embraced me tighter.

My lips trembled due to fears. Akala ko ay kung ano na ang gagawin niya sa akin na labag sa aking kalooban...

"Iʼm sorry, Alli...Iʼm sorry, fuck---please, answer me, baby..." alalang aniya.

Kumalas ito sa pagkakayakap sa akin at ihinarap ako sa kaniya. Hinawi-hawi niya ang buhok kong nagkalat na sa aking mukha dulot ng pinagsamang luha at pawis, bagay na biglaan na lang ding namuo kanina dahil sa ginagawa ni Gon sa akin.

My tears streamed down my cheeks while directly looking back at him. And through those tearful eyes, pain was readable and visibly shown.

He then kissed my forehead. "P-Pease, donʼt cry, Alli. I-I am so damn sorry," he said again.

"Donʼt d-do that again, p-please...I-I have a boyfriend..." I said painfully.

His eyes softened. "Y-Yes, I-I promise..." he replied and kissed my forehead again.

Napapikit ako nang sandaling dumampi muli ang labi niya sa aking noo. "G-Gon," I called, as if I was really hurt.

He did not answer. Instead, he embraced me again and now, I can feel his sincerity through it.

Hindi ko alam kung saan nanggaling at paano ko naramdaman. Dahil dahan-dahan, naiyakap ko ang pareho kong mga braso sa kaniyang likod at bahagyang itinungo ang ulo sa balikat nito habang patuloy sa pagdaloy ang aking mainit na mga luha sa pisngi.

He caressed my back. "...I am not sorry because I know you have a damn boyfriend and might get mad at you, baby. I am sorry 'cause I did something unfavorable to you. Something that is against your will. Yes, I am sorry for that, young lady." he clarified then embraced me, way tighter.

I bit my lower lip as I realized what he had just said. Hindi pala siya magpapasensiya dahil baka magalit sa akin ni Sie kapag may nangyari sa amin ng pinsan niya. Magpapasensiya siya dahil sa n-nagawa niya sa aking k-kahalayan.

Nag-init ang aking pisngi sa isiping iyon kung kayaʼt mabilis kong inilayo ang sarili ko kay Gon at nagbaba ng tingin bago pa simpleng pupunasan na sana ang aking mukha nang bigla niyang iangat ang mukha ko at siya na mismo ang magpunas niyon.

He smiled bitterly. "Iʼm sorry, baby. I should have not do that to you..."paumanhin na naman niya at mababatid kong sinsero siya doon.

Nanatili lamang ang mga mata ko dito. May kung ano sa loob-loob ko ang nagtatalo sa bagay na hindi ko maintindihan kung paanong ipapaliwanag. Ngunit ang pinaka nanaig ay ang hayaan ang sarili kong pakinggan si Gon sa sinasabi.

This is weird. Dapat ay nagagalit ako dahil pinagtangkaan niya ako ngunit bakit wala akong maramdamang galit ni pagtutol man lamang doon? Para bang...ayos lamang sa akin?

I gulped.

So not me!

He then held my hand and placed to his handsome face. "...Alli, nahihirapan ako...why do have to be taken, huh?" he painfully asked me and lowered down his gazes. "At bakit sa lahat ng tao sa mundo? Pinsan ko pa ang nagustuhan mo, tangina."

My chest tightened upon witnessing how vulnerable he is now. Showing what is his real feelings. What was on his mind.

And all I can say is, he was really hurt but trying and trying to survive from the utmost pains he ever had in his entire life.

He lifted his gazes again back to me and smiled bitterly. "You know what?" he began.

"G-Gon, stop this...y-youʼre hurting---"

Instead of listening to me, he continued. "My love for you is my whole world, while yours? Was outside it." he remarked on the most painful way and looked away. "...fuck love. Fuck relationships. Fuck family. Fuck them---just fuck it," pigil ang emosyong mura niya.

Nagbaba ako ng tingin upang itago ang mga nag-uunahang patakan ng aking mga luha dulot ng sinabi nito. Dahil doon, nakaramdam ako ng hindi matawarang guilt dahil ako mismo ang dahilan kung bakit siya nagkakaganito!

He laughed falsely. "Haha, you know what I am feeling, Alli?" he asked, dahilan upang muli kong ibalik ang aking tingin dito sabay iling nang alangan.

He smiled. "...thereʼ always time I am loving you. Like crazy. A-And that will never change---unlike you...you were busy loving Siegfried, reason why you canʼt love me back, Alli. It fucking hurts, seriously." he confessed.

Wala akong makuhang tamang salita upang isagot sa kaniya. Tuluyan na akong tinakasan ng karapatan upang magpahayag ng aking saloobin at depensahan ang sarili laban sa mga sinabi niya, na haltang-halata naman na ako ang dahilan kung bakit siya nagkakaganito ngayon.

I listened again.

"I never wanted to be with anyone else. In a relationship. But the moment I met you, feels like," he said but he cut the independence of his clauses just to breathe. "It feels like---fate had something else in store. All my jealousy and possessiveness, even if they were in a secluded part of my heart---has made our connection sore. I don't want to harbor bad feelings for my cousin 'cause you chose to love him, instead of me, in my heart but I think it's inevitable." he continued, never left by bitterness in his voice.

My chest tightened even more after hearing his confessions, just now. Hindi ko alam ang dapat kong i-react dahil pakiramdam ko, kahit hindi ako magsalita, ramdam na ramdam ko ang sakit na ikinukubli niya.

I heaved a sigh. "Gon...for alk we know, your are smart, handsome and wealthy---but why insisting yourself to me kasi? Gon kasi, maraming babae---bakit hindi mo maituon ang atensyon mo sa kanila? Bakit hindi sila ang subukan mong pan---"

He cut me off. "Bakit hindi ikaw?" he asked seriously.

I snarled. "Tsk...dahil may mahal na ako, Gon. Kung kaya, hindi ko sila matitipuhan." sagot ko na nagpapaintindi.

Tumango-tango ito. "Alam ko...kaya nga ganyan din ang akinhg sagot, Alli. Mahal kita kaya hindi na ako interesado pa sa iba." seryosong sagot din niya.

Hindi ko alam kung saan tutungo ang usapan naming ito. Sa papatagal kasi ay nasasaktan nang matindi si Gon at ewan ko ba sa sarili ko dahil kapag nakikita konsiyang nasasaktan---bumabagsak ang kalahating parte ng pagkatao ko, bagay na hindi ko maintindihang talaga.

He played with my hand, totally diverting his eyes at me now. "Alli, noong magkasama kayo ni Sie...it is as if---I am already wrecked but trying to stood up and enjoy the pain." kwento niya.

I gulped.

"... t-the coldest hug and soulless kisses of brokenness, shallow view and a barrage of false hopes are a total disrespect and an obvious lack of attention for myself, as well as absence of love and virtually nothing to share, Alli." he said, hurting, but paused for quite some seconds and heave a deeper sigh.

"Gon, stop. Stop hurting yourself," pigil ang luhang sambit ko dito at hinawakan ang kaniyang mga kamay na nakahawak sa kamay ko dahilan upang tumitig siya sa akin. "Donʼt waste a single tear for me. I am not worth it."

Instead of minding about what I have said, he said the continuance of the cut clauses a while ago.

"Y-You have left me with no option but to, hold back my tears and kidnapped you, baby." he continued. "And sorry, I am not sorry for doing so 'cause if you look at us, we are closer enough just like this and talking about something painful confessions without hindrances." he bitterly muttered.

And according to my understanding, hindrances may mean that he is referring to Siegfried, my boyfriend and Andi, my bestfriend.

Due to heart-bugging conversation, I stood up on my bed. "Matulog ka na ulit, Gon. Iʼll make soup for you." sabi ko na lang upang iiwas ang sarili sa bumibigat na usapan naming dalawa, kung saan ako lang ang mas nasasaktan dahil sobra pala talagang nasasaktan ang lalaking ito.

Ang galing niya lang talaga magtago.

He sighed. "I knew... I fell in love with you on the very first day I have met you...but when my heart became yours, 'cause I was caught off-guard, so I love you...and you---you refused to be mine. 'Cause you were owned by another La Galliene, damn. And, today it's time to show you how much I love you, since your heart refuses to be mine." he determinedly remarked. "...and I will do everything to win your heart, baby. Until it chooses me," he added as he ended.

I was left...speechless. He is persistent. Really, damn persistent.

"Gon, kasi---"

He looked at me seriously. "I want your heart to beat...only for me. Only for me." he denoted.

Goodness. Ngayong mag-boyfriend pa lang kami ni Siegfried, ganito na siya mag-demand at mang-angkin, paano na lang kapag nagpakasal na kami? Edi, nabaliw na ito?!

Goodness, kinda, scary!

Sumagi tuloy bigla sa isip ko si Sie. I am pondering how was he. What is he doing. Did he eat. Did he miss me. Is he searching for me na.

I sighed. "I miss you, S-Sie..." I mumbled.

Nang sandaling makarating ako sa kusina, naisandal ko nang bahagya ang aking likod sa may wall at ipinikit sandali ang aking mga mata upang subukang ikalma ang aking sarili, pati ang nag-aalab kong puso. "Iʼm so sorry, Gon..."I whispered in the thin air. "...Sie won. And you canʼt replaced him. No matter what..." I assured under my breath.

Kinabukasan. Maaga akong nagising dahil ipagluluto ko ng breakfast si Gon since may sakit pa naman siya.

I simply made Canadian dishes that has something to do with the winter season. I made a crepes that was tasted sweet and savory. This crepes were popular here in Quebec City. And it was a traditional French style of food.

Actually, this is one of my favorite. Last year, when my mom and dad went in France, I came along just to buy crepes! And hindi nakakapagsisi na lumipad mula Pilipinas to France dahil masarap na masarap ang foods.

Matapos kong ilagay sa plate ang crepes, sunod kong inayos na ilagay sa bowl naman ay ang niluto ko ding French Onion Soup, since malamig ang season, masarap humigop ng mainit na sabaw at sakto, may sakit si Gon kaya siguradong magugustuhan niya ito, siguro.

Dahil kapag hindi niya nagustuhan, bahala na siya sa buhay niya. Ako na nga itong concern, e.

Kumuha ako ng spoon at tinikman ang soup. At gusto kong purihin ang sarili ko nang mapagtantong may ibubuga naman pala ako in terms of cooking na inspired sa ibang lugar! Goodness.

"Hihi, ang sarap~." sabi ko sa sarili.

Matapos kong ilagay ang crepes at French Onion Soup sa breakfast table, inayos ko naman din ang hot chocolate. Inalagay ko iyon sa dalawang mug para tig-isa kami ni Gon.

I smiled.

The best time for sipping hot chocolate with roaring fire is one of the ideal way to warm up here in Quebec City dahil na rin sa winter season ngayon and---sipping hot chocolate by a fire is at artefact!

Hihi. Ang sarap~!

"Done~!" masayang sambit ko matapos maisalansan sa table ang mg inihanda ko. Naglagay na din ako ng water at bread para mas masarap ang aming breakfast.

Binalikan ko si Gon sa kwarto nito at marahang ginising.

"Gon? Letʼs eat na," sabi ko.

He opened his eyes. "...baby," he called with bedroom voice.

I winced. "No, Iʼm not baby. I am Alloira. Get up, canʼt you?" pagtatama ko.

Dahan-dahan naman siyang bumangon. Tinulungan ko siyang alisin ang comforter na nakabalot sa kaniyang katawan. At nang matanggal, inalalayan ko din ito patayo.

"Iʼll go in the bathroom first. Mind joining me?" he innocently asked.

Abaʼt---

"Tigilan mo 'ko. Hala, sige! Puntang banyo! Dadamay mo pa ako,"

He chuckled then pinched my nose. "Kidding," bawi niya at naglakad n papasok ng bathroom.

Akmang tatalikod na ako dito upang ayusin ang kama nang tawagin niya ako, dahilan kaya mapatigil ako panandalian sa aking paghinga nang normal!

"Alli...I love you...so much."

--