DAEGON

"Gon, wait!"

I did not bother to look back to the woman who shouted. I continued walking away from the place where Alli and Sie are in. Itʼs just that, there are so many people in there and I donʼt want to feel like deaden.

Yeah, thatʼs only the reason why I left Alli. Moreover, I am giving her and Sie to have a dire moment together. Especially now that I know what would happened today...in between their feelings and all.

Theyʼll having a good relationship together...officially.

"Gon, bakit ka umalis? Ayaw mo bang panoorin si Alli at Sie? Ang sweet---"

I stopped on my track and with scowl, I faced her. "Whatʼs with you? Why the hell are you following me, huh?" I asked.

She gulped. "...kase---bodyguard ka ni Alli, bakit mo iniwan doon? And given the fact that maraming tao doon, what if---"

I cut her off. "Could you please, shut the fuck up, huh? Ayaw na ayaw ko sa lahat, maiingay na babaeng gaya mo," I said, upfront.

I saw how her eyes watered in an instant. "...sorry," she apologized then looked down on her feet. "N-Nagtataka lang naman ako kung bakit bigla kang umalis n-nang makita mo sina Alli at Sie...sa ganoong tagpo." she confronted using a low-tone of voice.

I set my face as flint. "Maraming tao. Ayokong ma-suffocate. Ayoko nang maingay at magulo...ano? Panatag na loob mo?" I explained so she could stop pestering me.

Kung hindi ka lang kaibigan ni Alli, baka nasigawan pa kita, tss.

She returned her eyes at me and did not bother to wiped away her tears. She just smiled bitterly. "B-But you should be there, right? I-Iʼm just concern with my bestfriendʼs safety." she continued but leave an emphasis.

I let out an amused sigh. "What the hell? Ano bang iniisip mo, ha? E, ano naman kung wala ako doon ngayon? Hindi pwedeng bigyan ko sila ng moment na dalawa, ha? Why implying something?! Kung iniisip mong nagseselos ako, pwes tigilan mo na dahil kapag hindi ako nakapagtimpi, makalimutan kong kaibigan ka ng babaeng iyon." I warned her with gritting teeth.

I was about to made my gait when she spoke again, causing me to feel electrifying sensation on my entire body!

Fuck this woman.

"You like Alloira," she said.

Damn it. Woudnʼt she stop?! What the shit is she saying?!

I stared at her deeply. "...ano bang sinasabi mo, ha? Paano ko magugustuhan ang kaibigan mo---bukod sa bata pa 'yon, boyfriend na niya ang nakababata kong pinsan, ha? Nag-iisip ka ba?"

Damn. Why do I feel like...I want to retrieve those things that I have said just now?! Fuck. And how dare I forget that kiss her...thrice! Damn again. Yes, she maybe way younger than me but I-I saw her not as girl but a damn good lady.

She smiled again. "P-Pero hindi ko makita na...b-bata lang ang tingin mo sa kaibigan ko, Gon." pilit niya pa.

I heaved a deep sigh and just turned my back at her. "Get a life, woman." I remarke then departed.

Annoying, tsk.

I decided to just stay in front of the main library of UP, wherein Guillermo Tolentino created the UPʼs famous Oblation. I sat on the bench near it and looked at nowhere.

"Damn," I cussed the moment I felt something from within was fell off. "...whatʼs wrong with me, huh?" I asked myself and facepalm. "...fuck this,"

The thoughts that Alli and Sie are now officially in a relationship makes me feel like...deactivated over unidentifiable feeling and I donʼt want this!

Damn.

As for me, reason why I remained unassailable, thatʼs because...

...I donʼt want to trust too much. Love too much. Hope too much. Because that too much can hurt...so much.

I donʼt want to feel that...again. Sapat na ang naiwan ako ng aking mga magulang sa murang edad. Nabuhay nang wala na sila. Natutong maging matatag nang wala sila.

Tandang-tanda ko pa kung paano akong nagmakaawa na huwag nila akong iwan na mag-isa. Kung paanong sinabi nila sa akin na magtiwala sa kanila dahil kakayanin nang lumaban para mabuhay at para magkasama-sama pa kami ngunit hindi nila iyon ginawa.

...they still left me. They did not fight for their lives to be with me. They hurt me. But, I accepted it. They are forgiven now.

And I donʼt want to feel the same pain again...given by any one who surrounded me.

Too damn hard to heal. Not got to let myself suffer again. Nor give myself an agony, misery and just be vulnerable.

I sighed.

Instead of watching Alli and Sie on the gym, busying themselves for creating moments together starting today, I chose to just stay on this iron chair, continued sighing and contemplating aimlessly.

Nasa ganoʼn akong posisyon nang tumunog ang aking phone. Bored, I took it off out of my pocket. "Yes?" I answered.

[Letʼs celebrate later at XoX Bar, Gon. I heard Sie that he would having a first ever girlfriend, pft.]

I was surprised a bit 'cause I heard the voice of Priam Evans La Galliene.

Fuck. What is the meaning of this?

With knitted forehead, "What do you mean, Pri? Are you here in the Malayong Silangan known as the Philippines now?!" I asked, trying to be sarcastic.

He chuckled.

[Tama, ginoo. Ngunit, nais kong ipabatid saʼyo na hindi lamang ako alone na uuwi ng Malayong Silangan. Kasama ko din ang ating mga pinagpalang pinsan.]

Filipino na Filipino, tsk.

"Fuck you." I said.

[WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! See you tonight, dude! Kapag may atoys kang isasama---]

"Fuck girls, tss." agad ko.

[Relax! Pft. Iʼm just teasing you! Haha! See you!]

And the call has ended. "Bwiset," I mumbled and irritated, concealed my phone in my pocket.

Umuwi sila dito? Para? Mambwiset! Tsk.

Nanatili pa akong nakaupo sa may bench malapit sa may Oblation sa loob ng ilang mga minuto, o may isang oras na lang yata at mahigit bago nagpasyang balikan na sina Alli at Sie. Para na rin sabihin na nagyayaya ang mga pinsan namin sa bar ngayong gabi, at dahil kasama si Alli, mukhang hindi malabong sumama din ang kaibigan niyang linta, tsk.

Pagdating ko sa gym, naglalabasan na ang ilang students. Unang hinanap ng aking mga mata sina Alli at Sie. At habang ginagawa ko iyon, may mangilan-ngilan na bumabati at nagpapapansin sa akin.

Fuck off, tsk.

Not so long, I found the two of them. Happily talking with one another, smiling from eyes to eyes---holding hands.

Damn.

Nang sandaling magtama ang mga mata naming tatlo, buong pagtatakang tuminhin sa akin si Alli. "O, Gon? Saan ka nag-go, huh? Nawala ka suddenly kanina, ah." she said.

Instead of answering her, I glance at my cousin and nod lightly. "...congrats." I said without showing no emotions and then I returned my eyes at Alli. "Saʼyo din. Bagay na bagay kayo."

Wala sa sariling nagtaas si Alli ng kilay. "...thanks,"aniya.

Sie then spoke. "Where have you been a while ago, Gon?" he asked.

Isnʼt he insulting? Tsk.

"Diyan lang sa tabi-tabi. Pinanood ko kung paano gumapang ang mga langgam," matabang kong sagot at nginisihan siya.

He played the piercing at the corner of his lips, indicating that he is somewhat burned with my lines. "Good answer," he answered.

Hindi na namin pa pinatagal ang pag-uusap. Lumabas na din kami at hindi ko na binalak pang malaman kung anong kinalabasan ng nangyari kanina dahil kitang-kita naman ang ebidensiya na sila na.

Pagdating namin sa parking area, muling nagsalita si Siegfried. "Ako na maghahatid kay Alli, Gon. May pupuntahan kami---"

I cut him off. "She wonʼt got to come to you without me. Remember, I am her guard." I reminded him, reason why he suddenly stared deeply at me, as if trying to excavate me from the deepest pits of hell.

I smirked. "Donʼt worry, I will be watching from not so far, Sie. Cʼmon, donʼt give me damn." I said.

Alli then meddled. "Ano ba kayong dalawa, ha? Are making away na here? Goodness, donʼt! Aside from mag-cousin kayo---we are in the school pa. Please, ilugar niyo ang mga sarili niyo," suway niya at pinalipat-lipat ang tingin sa aming dalawa.

I smirked again. "Daegon Trevor La Galliene, from United States of America. Naiinis na." sabi ko sa pang-asar na tono.

Yeah, boy. I am fucking annoyed but I need to stay calm, fuck it.

Siegfried scoffed. "Then, this is what you want now, Gon?" he asked unbelievably. "Fine," he added and smirked, too.

I tilted my head a bit and waited for his nonsensical answer.

"Siegfried Monrad La Galliene from Madrid, Spain. Nagagalit na."

Naglaban kaming dalawa nang malalalim at nagpapahiwatig na tinginan. At dahil hindi ko ugaling sumuko agad, nagawa kong tagalan ang titig nito at hindi pa dapat kami matitigil sa ganoong titigan, kaya lamang ay sumingit sa pagitan namin si Alli na may kunot na kunot na noo.

"P-Pwede bang tigilan niyo ang ganyan, ha?! Magpinsan kayo pero para kayong magkaaway ngayon, ah! Ano bang problema niyo, huh?!" gulong-gulong tanong nito.

Thatʼs when I stared with a scowl at her, so Sie is, and we both said straight to her face...

"Ikaw ang problema!"

--