Chapter 53 || Give Me Love

"how was your day?"

jiah hums dismissively for an answer, focused on washing the dishes after dinner. she had already started cooking after coming back from yoongi's, so that she can at least have a good dinner with jungkook after cancelling the afternoon plans. she felt bad for it, especially when jungkook is always so understanding and patient with her.

"are you too tired?" he asks, wrapping his arms around jiah's waist, keeping her in a hack hug and dips his head down in her neck, inhaling deeply. "you always smell so good." he mutters, licking the skin with his tongue, making jiah shudder in his arms.

it illicits a reaction that she wasn't expecting from herself, her hand grips the sponge tightly, suddenly the image of taehyung kissing her on the exact spot where jungkook's lips are right now, makes her cringe and want to pull away. taehyung held her exactly like this while his hands roamed around her hips and waist and mouth kissed her neck. jiah feels disgusting, staring at her son's cup in her hand, foam leaking from the sponge and dripping down her hand. she'd like to ask jungkook to stop, but the fear of disappointing him rises higher.

taking a deep breath, jiah tries to calm herself down a bit, for the last thing she wants is jungkook to think that he makes her uncomfortable. 'it's just jungkook' keeps repeating in her head, hoping to convince herself that nobody else is touching her. yet, it doesn't seem to be that effective, for all her she really wishes is to not be touched. gulping the anxeity down with the lump forming in her throat, she looks over her shoulder, almost going to ask jungkook to stop. but seeing his eyes closed and feeling his fingers brushing gently on her waist, it doesn't let her say anything.

in a second, jungkook stops on his own and kisses her cheek, "go, put jihun to sleep. i'll do this."

jiah clears her throat, nodding her head and washes her hands quickly, "thanks." jungkook smiles in return, patting her side as she walks past him, heading to take jihun and try putting him to sleep now.

"jihun, where are you?" she calls, frowning as she looks around the living room where all of jihun's toys are scattered and his electric car parked beside the couch. "come out, ji. it's time to go to bed."

a faint giggle makes it to jiah's ears, and she hums to herself, pretending to think where jihun could be hiding, "where is jihun? mamma's looking for him." she speaks out loud, making her way to the side of the couch and peeks behind him, catching the toddler crouching behind one leg, covering his face with his hands. "found you!" she lets out, lifting him off the floor and cradles him in her arms, showing his face with kisses, eliciting a trail of playful cackles.

she sits down on the couch, keeping her son on her lap and smiles fondly at him, kissing the tip of his cute little nose, "mamma loves you." she whispers.

"wuv mamma." jihun chimes cutely, giggling as he touches jiah's face, earning a chuckle from her. "mi'k?" he asks suddenly, and jiah scrunches her face, shaking her head. "ji wan' mi'k." he repeats, tugging on her top.

"no, baby. you're a big boy now. and mamma doesn't have enough milk anymore." she tries to reason him, standing up and head to her room.

"mi'k!" the toddler definitely doesn't understand her, determined to lift the fabric of her top and feed himself.

"stop it, ji." jiah laughs lightly, laying down on the bed with jihun, "you ate your dinner, right? you're not even hungry right now."

"mi'k..." he pouts, eyes pooling with tears instantly, making jiah sigh.

"okay fine, don't cry. you're so dramatic." she sighs, sitting up and jihun happily lays down on her lap, moving his legs in the air in excitement. "i'm sure other babies are not so demanding." jiah huffs jokingly at her son, letting him have the nipple in his mouth and suckle out the small amount of milk her body still produces all because jihun still sometimes wants to breastfeed despite having completely switched to bottles and sipper cups now.

while the toddler is busy, jiah checks his diaper, smiling to herself when she realises it's not wet and jihun is probably getting ready to leave them entirely. she tugs down his shorts, leaving him just in the diaper for the night and a thin cotton t-shirt, so he wouldn't catch a cold. the door clicks open, drawing jiah's attention and finds jungkook staring at her with slightly wide eyes.

"i'll come later." he mutters, almost leaving instantly, but the sound of jiah chuckling makes him stop. "what?"

"it's okay you can come inside. i mean, if you're not gonna be awkward." she says.

"i thought you'd like some privacy."

"thanks, but you can come in." she nods towards towrads the space in front of her.

he smiles, getting her joke and closes the behind him before walking up to the bed. jihun looks at him from the corner of his eyes, lifting leg in jungkook's direction, while still gulping down the milk he's suckling out. "are you mocking at me for not having what you have?"

"what?" jiah chokes, and jungkook grins at her.

"just look at him. he's definitely making fun of me."

"he's a baby!" jiah gasps, "how can you even say that about my son? he's literally two, and you, jeon jungkook are- twenty-three...?" she stares at him with wide eyes, for she doesn't know his age.

jungkook smirks at that, shaking his head. "how old are you?" she asks in a shaky voice, afraid that he'd say thirty or so.

"i'm older than you." he states with a shit eating grin.

"no way." jiah gasps.

"i am, princess. you're twenty-three, and i'm twenty-"

"thank god, you're in your twenties." she lets out.

"or else?"

"or else i'd be dating someone a decade older than me?"

"probably. but c'mon, guess my age."

"you look like you're... twenty-four...?"

"close." he hums.

"five...? six...?"

"five. twenty-five."

"hm, nice." jiah smiles, about to say something more, when she suddenly winces, jolting lightly in her place and looks down instantly at her son. "don't bite!" she scolds him, slapping his bottom over the diaper, which makes the baby giggle just like jungkook does right now, sitting in front of jiah.

"something's funny to you?" she ask him with a straight face.

"nope." he shrugs, "why are you scolding him? it could be tempting to just-"

"he is a baby. what do you not understand in that?" jiah groans. "you're the only pervert here."

"uh, well," jungkook holds back his laughter. "if you say so."

"i- ow!" she winces again, glaring down at jihun and pushes him out of her lap, holding her left breast over the top, "enough. just sleep now." she says firmly, while jihun stares at her with a scared look. his thumb is in his mouth, waiting for jiah to smile and take him back on her lap, but when she doesn't, it makes the toddler pout and crawl near her slowly.

"mamma..."

"you hurt me, jihun. i'm not taking you." she says and turns away, leaving jihun sitting scared and confused, tugging on her top to make her look at him. "go away."

"mamma..." he mumbles again, tears brimming his eyes and soon a sob rolls out of his lips. "ji' sowwy..."

"jiah, don't do that. he's crying." jungkook sighs, carrying the toddler up and hugs him, "it's okay, ji. mamma's just messing with you."

"mamma..." the toddler cries, leaning forward to go back to his mother.

jiah sighs at him, humming softly, "okay, fine, come." she extends her hands out, smiling as jihun stops crying as soon as jiah takes him. "my baby is so emotional." she teases the toddler, who doesn't understand but just hugs her tightly with his small body.

"don't make fun of him." jungkook chuckles.

"i'm not. he is emotional." jiah says, cradling jihun in her arms and pats his side, "close your eyes, ji." jihun obeys quickly and puts his thumb in his mouth again, drifting off to sleep gradually.

"adorable." jungkook whispers, leaning down to kiss jihun's forehead and then looks at jiah, pecking her lips. "you two are beautiful to look at."

"thank you?" jiah laughs silently, standing up and goes to jihun's crib, realising that his bed is not made properly. she holds him with one arm, struggling to do so for he's growing up and gaining weight, and he's also not as tiny as he used to be.

"le'mme help you." jungkook comes up quickly, taking the toddler, so jiah can fix the little bed inside the crib as she pleases for her baby.

"ji's growing up. i could him with one arm a few months back and do other work with my free arm." she says.

"yeah, he has grown up since i first met him." jungkook glances at the toddler, "but still so tiny."

jiah chuckles at that, gesturing jungkook to lay jiah down and covers him with his favourite blanket. she takes a moment to just admire her son sleeping soundly, and smiles to herself, promising him again that no matter what, she won't let anyone take him away from his mamma. jungkook wraps his arm around jiah's shoulder, pulling her in a hug and kisses her forehead, "ji will be so proud to have you as his mom. i can just imagine him bragging about you among his friends when he starts going to school." jungkook says.

"i hope so." jiah hums, smiling sadly.

"you can also teach him some of your kicks and punches."

"i can't fight, jungkook." she sighs, hugging him properly. "i can't fight anyone anymore."

"you can." jungkook emphasizes, "you're the one who beats yourself everytime, jiah. you can fight and win, no matter who in the world is against you."

"maybe? but i know for sure there are exceptions."

"you can always give me the exceptions." jungkook smiles, leaning down and catches her lips with his, kissing her deeply and takes a large step forward, lifting her up in his arms until he brings both of them to the bed and lays jiah down, hovering over her.

"kook-"

he kisses her again, going for a minute until he breaks it again to let her breathe, "yeah?"

jiah hesitates again, ending up shaking her head and forces a smile for him, which jungkook seems to notice and stops, "is everything okay?"

"yeah. yeah, of course." she nods.

"are you sure?"

"yes." she says, gulping down the nervousness and tries to sit up, "uh, can you please give me a second?"

jungkook moves from her body, rolling next to her, watching her with concerned eyes. jiah takes a sip of water drom the bottle kept on the night stand, breathing deeply and turns to jungkook, smiling nervously, "i'm sorry, i just-"

"it's fine." he assures, opening his arm as he lays down. "i'm sorry. i shouldn't have rushed you."

"no, don't say that. you didn't rush me, jungkook. you're the most considerate and thoughtful man i've been with." she smiles for him, cupping his face and kisses his cheek. "too bad for me that i'm not used to it. i'm sorry, i didn't want to stop you. i didn't even want to..." she looks down, fiddling with the hem of her top and ends up shaking her head, saying nothing at last.

"you didn't want to..?" jungkook awaits.

"nothing."

"say it, baby. i should know what's bothering you, so we can work on it together, right? and i can't risk making you uncomfortable for all i know." he says sincerely, "so please talk to me."

jiah glances at him, then away, sighing softly. "i don't want you to think that i don't want you... i love you, jungkook. i love you so much that it scares me to even think about not having you beside me. but- but i promise i'll try my best to be a good girlfriend to you and make you happy. i'm sorry i stopped you right now..." she looks down, tears returning to her eyes for some reason and she hugs him tighter.

"you think a lot, don't you?" he rubs her back, "i don't know what what sort of guys you dated before, but damn i can tell they were shit."

jiah frowns at him looking up and jungkook hums, "seriously. if they left you thinking this way- that you can be a good girlfriend only when you let them touch you or have sex with you, make them 'happy', then, baby they messed you up a little. i don't wanna be a preacher right now, but can you tell me who told you all that? especially the 'making your boyfriend happy' part."

jiah tilts her head, laying straight and rubs her eyes, thinking for a moment, "a guy from high school and quite some people."

"did he ever force you into anything?" jungkook asks softly, adjusting his arm around jiah, and glances down, seeing her hesitating. "you can tell me, princess. i know i can't do anything about the past, but at least you can share it with me and feel a little better."

"he did once." she hushes out. "i broke up with him after that. we only dated for like two months and he wanted to have sex with me. i was- i was a virgin back then, and he was just very... uhm not pleasant. i told him i wasn't ready but he said i was his girlfriend and it was my duty to make sure he was happy and well, satisfied..." she cringes, closing her eyes in disgust. "one day after school he took me to this empty classroom and started kissing and touching me. i told him to stop, but he just kept hurting me more. he wasn't listening. i punched him real hard and broke up with him the very moment."

"good job." jungkook says, "people like him deserve it."

"they do." jiah mumbles, resting her head on jungkook's chest. "kook?"

"hm?"

"what if something like that happens again and i can't fight back?" she asks, tears slipping from her eyes, but she holds back the urge to cry and wipes the tears quickly, bot wanting jungkook to know that she's crying.

"then you tell me." he strokes her back. she hums faintly, shutting her eyes tight and takes a deep breath, telling herself not to let out a sound and just lay quietly. "i love you, jiah, and i'm always going to help you out no matter what. if anybody dares to hurt you, i want the name so i can go show them what happens when they mess with my girl."

"i love you..." jiah whispers, leaving a peck on his chest.

"you don't have do anything if it makes you uncomfortable, even if you think i'd like it. just don't. tell me that it bothers you. talk to me, i swear on my life, baby, there's more important to me than you. i'll always prioritise your happiness over anything." he promises.

jiah nods her head, glancing up with teary eyes, contemplating if she should tell him the truth. he's probably doing it to get a reaction out of jungkook. jiah sits up, deciding to keep her secret, for jungkook will definitely be too mad and wouldn't even think before going and dealing with taehyung himself. that could cost jiah a lot right now, for all she knows taehyung might involve jungkook in the case, pose false allegations on him, and he might as well use it against her reasoning why she's not fit for keeping her child with her.

no, she won't let that happen.

"i'll come back from the bathroom." she says, getting off the bed and disappears behind the door, leaving jungkook alone for a while.

"baby, your phone!" she hears jungkook's voice calling, "it's jimin's call for some reason."

"coming." she replies, glancing at the mirror and takes a deep breath, before heading back to the room and smiles briefly at jungkook, who gives her the phone.

"why's he calling right now?"

jiah shrugs her shoulders, answering the call, "hey, uh sorry to disturb you right now. i just wanted to ask if you've talked to jungkook? i need to discuss something with you both."

"uh no." she says, "i'll try to, though."

jimin hums softly with a sigh, clearing his throat as he speaks, "i'm sorry, i know it must be hard for you. when's the first hearing?"

"next week. thursday."

"alright. i hope it goes well, just ring me if there's anything. if taehyung bothers you again."

"yeah, thanks." she hums softly, "good night, jimin."

"good night. get some rest."

with that she hangs up, closing her eyes for a second, hoping that jungkook wouldn't ask her anything right now. she'd like to talk to him tomorrow, and tell him every little detail he should know. turning around in her place, she can feel jungkook's eyes on her, waiting for her to say something. anything.

although jiah just gives him a weak smile, laying down next to him like a few minutes ago, "let's sleep."

jungkook glances away from her, releasing a tired breath and nods, wrapping his arms around her in a protective manner, while his head dips down to her neck, "you know that i love you, right?" he whispers.

"i know." jiah hums, nodding subtly in his embrace, "you're the only one who actually does."

"then why do you keep secrets with me?"

jiah's breath hitches on hearing that. she has been extremely vulnerable today and these words coming from jungkook makes it harder for her to hold herself together. she holds him tighter, brushing her hand on his back and kisses his cheek, "i'll tell you everything, jungkook. i promise... i just don't wanna hurt you, or lose you." she hushes out, "please trust me..."

"i do." he pulls his head back to look in her eyes, and cups her face, "i trust you the most. i trust you more than i trust myself, baby. i'll never question anything you do, i know you won't do anything wrong."

"i wish i believed myself that much." she chuckled sadly, and leans closer to kiss jungkook's lips, closing her eyes. this one lasts for a moment longer, and even when jiah breaks the kiss, she doesn't pull apart and remains as close to jungkook as needed to feel his breath. "jungkook, i love you and i promise you that i won't let anything break us apart. you're mine. my first true friend, my boyfriend, the man i fell in love, the man who proved me wrong a hundred times and caught me every time i was about to give up. i want you to be mine for as long as humanly possible..." she trails off, staring at his lips, then gradually up at his beautiful dark eyes, "and i want to be yours too. just simply yours."

jungkook fails to hold his smile at that, and takes his chance to kiss her for the millionth time, a deeper one that has more passion and meaning to it than just desire. jiah wraps her arms around jungkook's neck, pulling him to herself as if there's any space left between their bodies, tangled together to the point where the other person doesn't feel foreign but a part of themselves.

"kook," she whispers between panting breaths ad jungkook pulls away after a while to catch their breaths.

"hm?"

"let's go to the next room. i can't stand jihun waking right now."

jungkook looks at her with uncertainty, "then we'll continue later. we should sleep now. i'm sure you're worked a lot today and might need some rest." he rubs her back, kissing her forehead and lays down comfortably, holding jiah in his arms. "comfy?"

"very." she hums with a smile, "you're spoiling me like this, kook."

"of course, i am. why shouldn't i? you're mine after all. mine to love, mine to spoil and mine to tease."

"alright, good night." she chuckles, "now close your eyes and dream of me."

"i could just stay up and stare at you instead." he teases, making jiah laugh. she shakes her head, closing her own eyes and snuggles closer into jungkook's chest, throwing one leg over his hips and sticks to him like a child. "aren't you getting too comfortable?" he tickles her side, earning a giggle as she looks up, opening only eye out of laziness.

"mm'hm, you're so comfy. I'm thinkin about keeping you here all the time. you should come and live with me."

"oh, how i'd love that. just the thought of seeing your face as soon as i open my eyes in morning to the second i close them at night, itself sounds surreal."

"i'm flattered." jiah yawns, lowering her head again, "good night for real. i'm getting sleepy."

"sleep tight, my love."

only a few minutes pass and jiah's almost asleep, jungkook too feels his eyelids getting heavier, when a sharp cry jolts both of them awake. jiah releases a groan, whining against jungkook's chest, earning a silent laugh from him as he pata her back, kissing the rop of her head. "i'll take him to the living room with me if you want. you can sleep." he offers.

"and what will you do?"

"netflix?" he shrugs, "jihun can sit with me until he falls asleep. i can do that."

"but you must be tired too." jiah sighs, sitting up. "i'll try to out him to sleep. don't worry." she says and stands up before jungkook can protest.

"mamma..."

"aw yes, baby?" jiah cooes, carrying the toddler up and hugs him first, walking around the room for a few minutes. it works and jihun calms down, closing his eyes, making jiah think that he's sleeping again, until he starts crying again right when jiah's about to lay him down in the crib.

"my offer still stands, y'know?" jungkook says.

"i'm used to it, baby. you can sleep. i can't bother you so much with this stubborn little guy." jiah chuckles, sitting down on the bed with her son hugging her. she crosses her legs, making jihun sit on one side while the other leg remains unoccupied, so she taps the space for jungkook to lay his head.

jungkook doesn't speak and quietly shifts upwards, closing his eyes as he reats his head on jiah's lap, sighing softly on feeling her hand massaging his scalp gently. with the other hand, she pats jihun's back, humming to his favourite song, hoping it would help him fall asleep.

after a quick nap, jungkook's shaken awake by a soft little leg pushing against his head, reminding him the toddler's presence. when he looks up, he realises that jiah has fallen asleep too, sitting against the headboard, hugging jihun to her chest. he gets up carefully, taking jihun from her arms and lays him down on the bed, then adjusts jiah's posture and finally covers the two with the blankets. with a smile, he leans down, kissing her forehead and jihun's tiny hand, before laying down himself, repeating in his mond that he must not shift around a lot or he might crush little jihun under his weight.

____________

Bạn đang đọc truyện trên: AzTruyen.Top