when jiah opens the door, it surprises her to see taehyung standing there with a brown paper bag, that probably has food, since it smells like it. she frowns at the man, then glances back over her shoulder to check the time and confirms that it's indeed past nine, which means that it's late for a visit if someone is a decent a person.

she came back from jungkook's like two hours ago, and was doing the laundry now after putting jihun to sleep since the boy was sleepy. it's weird for taehyung to show up at this time, considering that he can't be missing her or even his son for that matter, when he just saw them a few hours ago. she doesn't open the door too wide and averts her eyes from taehyung's face, also ignoring whatever food item he has brought along.

"jihun's asleep." she tells him, about to close the door when the man stops her and takes the matter in his own hands. his smile is far more beautiful than his intentions, which sadly jiah isn't foreign to anymore. "and i told you not to come here." she adds with a hiss, determined not to weaken down in front of him this time.

"i remember. but i had to see you both," he shrugs his shoulders, "god knows what kind of man you were hanging out with."

"way better than you, jerk." jiah mutters. "now just leave."

"jiah, what did i tell you today?" he clicks his tongue, still sounding so composed of himself even though disappointment lingers in the way his brows pinch together, making jiah gulp.

"leave." she repeats.

"let me in, princess. i just wanna talk, okay?" he assures, "and i got your favourites. you should eat if you haven't."

"just fucking—"

taehyung sighs softly, using some force and opens the door without much trouble since it didn't look like jiah tried her best in keeping him outside. she looks back inside a bit worried about jihun, but stays quiet for taehyung quickly pulls her in a hug, taking her by surprise, "i was worried for you." he hushes out against her ear, "i know you're capable of making decisions, and honestly you're good at it. but it worries me, y'know? i can't just stop thinking about the girl i once loved so much... i still do. and of course our son. he's too young for all this mess between us, don't you think?"

"there's no us, taehyung." jiah heaves out a deep breath, untangling his arms from her waist and steps out of his embrace to look up at his face. "we're done, okay? try to understand that i don't love you anymore. i've come to terms with how my life is, and i like it this way. stop trying to force yourself onto me."

"i love you, jiah..." he tries to hold her again. his dark eyes soften at the sight of jiah wanting to stay away, but something inside her just doesn't let her, and he knows it too that he's still important to her just as much as she is to him. it would be a lie if either of the two said that they ever moved on from each other, when the reality is pretty obvious and undeniable that even after three years of separation nothing feels as safe as taehyung's touch to jiah, and taehyung too would risk his life for this girl.

"why are you lying to yourself? just admit it that you want me too," taehyung resounds, cupping her face and tries to smile a little in hope, staring at her with moistened eyes, "i wanna marry you, baby. i want us to live like a family like i always wanted... you, me and our little boy. jihun will have both of his parents and we'll give him the best life together."

"stop saying all that." jiah frowns at his words, shaking her head, "don't give yourself false hopes, okay? i don't want anything like that to happen. i can deal with my life alone, and just so you know, kim taehyung, i can give my son the best life even without you. i've been doing that since the day i came to know i was pregnant. you're his dad and you wanna see him and stuff, is okay. i get that, and that's the reason i didn't try to take jihun away from you. you can see him whenever you want, but don't try to become a part of my life again."

"do you hear yourself?" taehyung stares at her, "raising a kid all alone is a hard job. you've done it till now, i know that, but that doesn't mean it's gonna be easy. he'll be going to school and you'll be busy with your work because you still do need to make money, then how are you gonna take care of him? and what about when other kids ask him about his dad, or why his parents aren't together? what are you gonna tell him? it might sound all heroic and fancy talking, jiah, but trust me you don't wanna have that kind of messed up life for yourself and our son."

"i'm fine with it. i just don't want to be with you if that's what you're dying to hear." jiah hisses, looking away in frustration as her arms are folded over her chest.

"you're being stubborn right now."

"really? why don't you leave then? didn't i piss you off enough?" jiah glares at him and watches his pupils flicker, as he returns her glare with an displeased look. "what? are you going to do that again? play your mind games and try to manipulate me all because you know that i loved you once? yeah, go on. hold me, kiss me, use me until i listen to you, right?" tears pool her eyes as she spits it to his face, and steps forward angrily, hands launching up to clasp the collar of his neat dress shirt.

"i fucking hate it when you touch me, taehyung. but you wouldn't know that because you're just another man who only cares about himself." she grits out, dropping a tear as she feels taehyung's hand reaching up to neck, cupping the side and brushes his thumb against her jaw gently, "stop." she warns him with fear flashing before her eyes and taehyung seems to sense it, for he doesn't stop and catches her wrists, freeing himself from her frustrated hands.

"calm down, big girl. i'm not one of your men that you can act up with, okay?" he states, "be good and i'll fucking treat you like the princess you are. but try being like this and i'll make sure you'll be regreting it."

"i swear to god—"

"what?" taehyung arches up a brow, leaning in a bit to hear her more clearly, "what was that? say it again."

jiah falls silent, feeling her breath stuck in her throat as taehyung's fingers curl around the curve of her neck, smirking close to her cheek and shakes his head, "such a beautiful face, but got a big mouth. did i spoil you too much with my love, princess?"

"let go." jiah's hand flattens against his torso, trying to push him away but she does it carefully not to ignite another reaction from him.

"you don't have to be scared, jiah. you know i wouldn't hurt you ever. i think you just need me to put a foot down sometimes, right?" he chuckles, "adorable."

it's humiliating how he acts so casual about everything, like jiah was some kind of bratty kid who needs strict parents to keep her in check. another thing that has been going on since her time in college. taehyung likes having complete control and feel himself have the authority and jiah's full aware of it. he probably wouldn't even think before letting out some more absurd words or even actions if she tries to act up against him right now.

back in college, she was the one who let taehyung have his way, because at that time he loved her different and was way more delicate and gentle with her than he is today. sure he's not going to hurt her, but that doesn't cover up for the fact that he has changed in more ways than one. jiah's back is pressed against the wall, forced to look up at taehyung, who is extremely close to her, their lowers bodies pressed together like they were in the smallest place on earth.

"don't do this, taehyung please..." jiah whispers, shutting her eyes close.

"okay," taehyung hums, but stays close and places his hands on her waist, "let's talk."

"get away."

"hey, open your eyes." he says softly, caressing her waist with gentle hands, one of them snaking behind her back and rubs slow circles over her t-shirt as a gesture that always calmed her down. it still works and jiah releases a breath as her eyes flutter open, hint of tears glistening in them.

"you scare me taehyung. don't get so close to me."

"i'll never hurt you, i can assure you of that."

"i don't know... you act strange. you weren't like this."

"you weren't like this either, were you?" he smiles sadly.

jiah watches him with a pained expression, failing to keep in her tears, but taehyung reaches out to take them away. not with his hands, instead he leans down and places a kiss on her cheek. it starts from a light peck that makes jiah's breath hitch, to wet, open mouth kisses down to her jawline. jiah whimpers against the feel of his warm lips and sloppy swipes of tongue every time another tear rolled down from her eyes.

"tae..."

"i'm right here, baby," he whispers back in a tender voice, caressing her waist to keep her steady and calm. "-right here with you."

just those words and taehyung suddenly doesn't feel so bad anymore. which is wrong. it's a bad idea. it's a mission to abort. but jiah just closes her eyes, knowing that she'll regret giving in to him like this, but it's a risk she's willing to take. more tears flow down, cursing at herself when she wraps her arms around taehyung's neck weakly, breaking into a sob like she needed help.

taehyung too, feels bad and it shows in the way he stops kissing her, his own eyes taking a moment to observe her past the layer of guilt and anger that he holds for himself. he wraps his arms around the girl tightly, pulling her into a warm hug and pecks the side of her head a few times, "you're not alone. i'm always with you... i'll be yourself forever, jiah." he whispers and a tear slides down his cheek as well, "i love you. i love you so fucking much."

nothing makes her feel better about the situation and ahe tries to hide in taehyung's chest, still in that zone where she wants to beleive that he can make it better for her. that he will do something to make it better, so she breath more freely and not hurt like this whenever the door to past is opened. taehyung carries her up carefully, heading inside through the living room, opening the door to first room and thankfully jihun isn't sleeping here.

it's the guest room he assumes and makes jiah sit on the bed. he's about to turn around and get some water for her, but jiah stops him by holding his hand, shaking her head as a gesture for him not to leave her. that's it. that's all the fuckery left to do and jiah knows exactly how bad she would need a vodka to get over this tomorrow.

it doesn't take another tug on his hand for taehyung to stop and stay with jiah. he kicks off his shoes and unbuttons his shirt from the top, rolling up the sleeves before getting near her and seals her lips with his. "don't cry." he mutters in between, wiping off the tears from her face and dips his head low in the crook of her neck, kissing and sucking his spot from the past until it elicits a breathy wince from jiah's mouth.

she clutches on the sheets tightly for everything escalates too quickly for her. she's suddenly laid down on her back as taehyung climbs up to hover above her and catches her in a deep kiss again, while his hands roam over her curves as though trying to feel her as much as possible to compensate for the long time that they weren't together. it all feels like deja vu, like all those dreams she had of taehyung coming back to her and giving her all of himself until there was no room for doubts.

took him long enough, but here's the moment jiah you used to wish for, not anymore but there was a point when she did. he kisses her tears away again and for the first time in the last few minutes, jiah seems to calm down from her sobbing as her brain pounds inside her skull, a single voice telling her that she's making a mistake by letting taehyung take control. yet she just sighs tiredly, closing her eyes into the contrasting pleasure that taehyung's mouth has to offer.

he groans against her skin, biting with subtle aggression for he still needs to hold back a lot, since jiah isn't really thinking about the consequences of her mindless action. he cares though, not that he wants to stop and not like jiah's telling him to stop, but he still remembers and can tell when she's actually in the mood, or just frustrated, in need of some distraction. it's obviously the second reason, given that taehyung's mere presence makes her will power weak with the floods of memories both good and bad.

he slowly pulls his head up to glance at her face, watching how she's just laying quietly with her eyes closed, breathing calmly like she's about to fall asleep. taehyung sighs softly and reaches up to press a kiss on her forehead, which makes jiah open her eyes, letting him know that she's awake. "you should get some rest." he strokes her side, rolling over to the side and stays still for a moment before sitting up on the edge of the bed.

"why'd you stop?" jiah hushes out.

taehyung looks down, smiling a little to himself and shakes his head, "no reason."

"you were saying that you'll treat me like a— like a princess if i be good; if i listen to you... what if i don't, tae?" she asks softly, turning to face him. "what will you do? will you force me to listen to you? or maybe seduce me, take in your bed and then fuck me until i'm begging you to stop? or you'll hit me?"

taehyung turns to jiah with a straight face and takes a deep breath as he leans down, propping himself on his left elbow, while he lets his other hand stroke a strand of hair out of her face, "none of that. i wouldn't lay a finger on you." he promises, "never."

"then what will you do? why did you say that?"

taehyung says nothing and just leans closer to her head, resting his forehead against hers while his thumb gently caresses her cheek, "good night, my love. sleep well." he smiles at her softly, pecking the side of her lips as well before getting off the bed. he puts on his shoes and walks over to the door, stopping by for a second to look back, "wait, i think you should sleep in your bedroom. where's jihun?"

jiah sighs softly, nodding her head and stands up as well, walking past taehyung as she heads out of the room first. taehyung follows her quietly, catching her by her arm and pulls her in a back hug, "let me cuddle you to sleep tonight. i can't bring myself to leave like this when you're upset and probably won't sleep the whole night." he whispers to her softly, entering the bedroom with her, glancing at jihun who's sleeping on the bed and not in his crib.

"no," jiah replies, but taehyung's already a step ahead, sitting down beside his son and leans down to kiss the top of his head.

"my child," he smiles to himself, watching jihun sleep peacefully, until he moves a little taehyung freezes in his spot, worried that he might wake up the toddler. although jihun doesn't wake up, instead he just shifts in his place, bringing up his hand closer to his mouth and sucks on his thumb.

"is he hungry or what?" taehyung glances at jiah.

"no," she mutters in a low voice, standing beside him, her eyes fixed on the toddler as well.

taehyung stands up and pats jiah's back, gesturing towards the bed, "go on, lay down and sleep."

"you're leaving, right?"

"i don't want to."

"are you leaving or not?"

taehyung sighs and tilts his head, rubbing the back of his neck, "are you mad because i stopped earlier? you wanna have sex? tell me, i'll do it if you want."

"jerk. you know that's not—" jiah falls silent abruptly on hearing jihun whimper in his sleep, moving again, probably because she accidentally got her voice a little high, completely forgetting about the two-year-old sleeping within a distance of two arms. she ignores taehyung and sits near jihun, patting his back slowly and leans down to hug him, so he that he knows his mamma is right beside him.

taehyung stares at his son and jiah, quickly making up his mind and takes off his shoes again, dropping the idea of leaving entirely. jiah stares at him with a confused look, which he ignores and just gives her an assuring nod. he takes off his belt as well and the socks, keeping them aside and gets in the bed beside jihun. "c'mon, since you didn't kick me out till now. i can take a little bit more of your anger and stay the night with my family." he whispers, draping his arm carefully around the sleeping toddler, which gives taehyung immense joy, as though it wasn't just a baby but his entire world with him.

he kisses jihun again, this time.on his cheek and caresses gently over his cute little tummy where his baby fat is prominent. jiah grows nervous with the sight, unlike the mothers around the world who love watching their children's fathers bonding with the kids. she can't being herself to say anything looking at the way taehyung is so caring with jihun and loves him with all his heart. she lays down quietly, unable to take her eyes off the father son duo of which the latter is busy having dreams probably about his teddy bears and cars, while the latter is busy cherishing the present of his life.

jiah shifts closer to her son as he lays between her and taehyung, which she's somewhat glad of now, neglecting what just happened in the other room. she closes her eyes, flinching to open them again, when she feels a large hand placed on her as well. it's taehyung. he picks jihun up, making him lay on his chest, stroking his back when he whines a little, and pulls jiah in his embrace as well. it's dreamy how she has her head resting on his arm, laying next to him, his own wrapped around her and the other on their son's back. of course, they could be a happy family. only if they actually could.

jiah stares between jihun and his father, lost deep in thoughts until his hand gives a subtle squeeze on her side, "sleep, baby. aren't you tired after a long day?"

"i am," she hushes out, nodding her head slowly, "i'm so tired today..."

"close your eyes then. forget everything for tonight." he whispers to her, nuzzling into her hair and leaves a peck, "just say 'fuck it' to everything, hug me and go to sleep. i know you want to."

jiah sighs and turns further close in his hug, closing her eyes, "fuck you, taehyung." she whispers back, and taehyung chuckles. she places her one hand on jihun's back which is instantly met by taehyung's as he holds it there, feeling the gentle rhythm of their son's breathing.

__________

a/n: heyyy guyssss gslshsksh i know what you might be thinking right now after reading this chapter. and you (should) also know by now that i love making emotionally grey characters, chapters and overall books too, so obviously there are going to be both black and white moments. i hope you enioy the whole story as it comes and yeah, that's what i want from you ❤️🖤

now i also i wanted to tell you guys that this book uhm could maybe be a slow burn? i mean the way things are getting tangled right now, i think it's gonna take a while for everything to be sorted, so you might (just might) get this whole book as a slow burn to kill you slowly with pain and pleasure together 🛐💕✨

please keep showing your love and support. leave your votes and comments on the chapter, it really motivates me to continue writing. take care, see you soon with another update!❤️