Ch.3: Nicholas
SO YOU'RE TELLING ME NOT EVERYTHING HAS A LOGICAL SOLUTION?!

Seven-year-old Nicholas sat alone on a wooden bench in the school courtyard, hoping that the bell wouldn't ring anytime soon. Or at all. He wished recess would last for as long as possible, because science was his least favorite subject, and he wasn't ready for that class. He didn't want to return home, either.

The solution, then, was enjoying his time right now: basking in every second of peace in this place in this spot at this moment.

Children ran to and fro in front of him. They laughed and talked and squealed and pushed each other. One kid stepped on Nicholas's foot, and Nicholas hissed and quickly jerked his feet back, frowning at the group until they went out of sight.

A few seconds later, a girl with braided pigtails approached him, her head down and her bottom lip trembling. She sat next to him without a word.

Nicholas scooted away from her.

He tried to ignore her.

He really, really did.

But at some point her sniffles and her hitching breath became too distracting.

Nicholas looked at her, tilting his head to the side. "What's wrong?"

The girl wouldn't lift her chin. Teardrops trickled down her flushed cheeks, and she wiped them off before sputtering, "They made fun of my hair."

Nicholas moved his gaze to her pigtails again. They were pretty neat, with nice little pink ties at the bottom. Her hair was clean, too. Clearly brushed and taken care of.

There was nothing to make fun of.

So Nicholas said, "Why?"

The girl finally looked at Nicholas with bright brown eyes. She blinked cluelessly at him for a few seconds, then she shook her head. "I don't know. They were just being mean. They said it looks weird."

"Then don't listen to them. Your hair looks nice."

Now she perked up, wiping off the rest of her tears. "Really?" Excitement tinged her voice. "Thanks!" Her smile faltered, and she sighed, like a burden suddenly fell upon her again. "I wish everyone was nice like you. My friends make fun of me everyday. "

Nicholas frowned apprehensively, then shrugged one shoulder. "Tell them you don't want to be friends with them anymore."

Again, the girl stared like she hadn't realized this was an option. Then she nodded firmly. "I will! I don't want to be friends with them anymore anyway!"

Nicholas smiled. He pulled a chocolate bar from his pocket, broke it in half, and gave the girl the bigger piece. Any remnant sadness in her eyes vanished, and she spent the rest of the recess with him.

• • •

Nicholas came back from school that day in a good mood.

Usually he hated waiting till his parents finally heard the doorbell and let him in, but today he didn't even notice time slip until the hinges squealed. He looked at his mom, who held the door open, and made his way past the threshold, holding the strap of his backpack against his shoulder.

"Hey!" his mom said.

"Hi," Nicholas mumbled, frowning skeptically at her happy tone and excited eyes.

She was rarely ever happy.

"What's up?" She laughed. "Why are you staring?"

Nicholas shook his head. "Nothing." He gave her an assuring smile. "Is dad home?"

"Yeah."

Ugh.

Sighing, Nicholas walked to his bedroom, and the second he opened the door, his eyes widened.

Everything had been rearranged.

It didn't even look like his bedroom anymore.

The bed, the nightstand, the desk, the chair, the closet - they had all been moved around. Even the dark window curtains had gotten replaced by some lighter blue ones.

For a few seconds, Nicholas only stood there, breathing and staring, his hand on the cold door handle.

"Mom?" Nicholas called over his shoulder as he dropped his backpack. His mom was already on her way with a smile on her face, as if she were anticipating a positive reaction. "Did you move my bed to the other side? And my desk? And my nightstand?"

She nodded, pushing the door further open. "Yep! Don't you like it? Your room looks so much better now! I pushed your desk right under the window. It's got better lighting this way! It makes no sense to put your desk away from the window. No one does that, sweetie. And your bed looked weird in the corner, so I just pushed it a little towards the middle."

Nicholas set his jaw.

No, it doesn't look better now.

"Mom," Nicholas sighed. "I don't like it. I wanna change everything back to the way it was."

His mom's mouth fell open. "Why? It looks great!" Her eyes glistened as she looked around the room, proud of her work. "You're just not used to it yet, sweetheart. Give it some time."

Nicholas shook his head. "It looks nice, but I don't want it." His voice remained calm and levelled, and he glanced at her expression, worried he'd hurt her feelings. He did. If her sad frown was anything to go by, he already did. "Sorry, Mom."

"You're sure you wanna change everything back?"

Nicholas nodded.

"But I worked really hard to move everything around," his mom said with a soft, cooing voice. "And I did all of this for you, honey. Because I love you and I care about you. And if you change everything back to the way it was, you're wasting my work. And that's gonna make me really, really sad."

"I..." Nicholas took a look at the room, then at his mom, at the way her bottom lip jutted out in an imploring pout. "I just..."

I just don't like it.

She stroked Nicholas's back, slowly and softly. "Do you wanna make me sad?"

Shaking his head, Nicholas exhaled and moved away from her. "No, Mom. I don't wanna make you sad. Sorry. I won't change it back."

"See? I knew you'd like it!"

His mom clapped and grinned, and Nicholas thought maybe her happiness was worth his discomfort.

He returned the smile, even if half-heartedly, then stepped into his room. Just when he was about to close the door to change his clothes, another door creaked open, and then his dad walked across the corridor towards them.

"What's going on?"

The older man's voice was tense and sharp. Even the look in his eyes was violent, like he was searching for a problem. Itching to start a fight. He'd been in a good mood these past few days: smiling, laughing and making Nicholas's mom laugh. He hadn't shouted and broken anything at all.

But clearly that phase was over now.

Nicholas's heart raced. "Nothing."

"Nothing," Nicholas's mom repeated. Her smile became a little strained as she went to greet her husband. He pushed her away, peeking into Nicholas's room. Without a word, he looked at Nicholas's mom again, demanding an explanation. "I thought his room needed a little makeover, so I rearranged it a little."

"Why?" Nicholas's dad asked, cocking his head expectantly. His eyes were wide and bloodshot, unnervingly psychopathic. When there was no answer, he raised his voice. "Why?"

Nicholas's mom didn't look so happy anymore, even though her smile was still there. "Just... Just because. I thought it would be a nice change for him?"

"Or is it because you like to control people?" Nicholas's dad said, glaring at her. "And you like doing things behind their back?"

Nicholas wrinkled his nose.

What did that have to do with anything?

Nicholas's mom shook her head, reaching for the man with a trembling hand. "No, I-"

He smacked her hand off and walked closer to her, forcing her to back up against the wall.

"And because you love lying to me?"

"No," Nicholas said. "She just thought the room looked better this way."

"Where were you last night?" Nicholas's dad asked, as if he hadn't even heard Nicholas.

"With my friends," Nicholas's mom said, but her voice trembled so violently it was hard to believe her. "I told you I was going out to dinner with them."

"For five hours. You were out for five hours. And you didn't text me once. Why? What's more important than me?"

"Nothing! Nothing's more important than you. I just... I don't know. It just slipped my mind."

"Why did it slip your mind? Hard to remember your husband when you're fucking around with some other guy, right?"

Nicholas's mom shook her head frantically. "God, no! There weren't any men with us, I swear. It was just me and my girl friends! Baby," she said, her voice shaking as she tried to place her palm placatingly against his chest. "I promise. I love you so much. I don't care about anyone else in the world-"

Nicholas's dad spoke through gritted teeth. "Then why didn't you text me?"

"Why didn't you text her?" Nicholas asked.

Both adults turned to look at Nicholas.

Nicholas felt small under his dad's glare, but he refused to back down. He was only offering a solution.

"If you want to talk to her when she's out," Nicholas said, "just text her first next time."

"Oh!" Nicholas's father looked down at Nicholas. "Oh, so now I'm the bad guy. Right, Nicholas? I'm the bad guy here. I'm always the bad guy. It's always my fault."

...What?

Nicholas shook his head. "I just-"

Nicholas's father nodded in that menacing, sarcastic way. "Nice." He looked at Nicholas's mom again. "Good job, you bitch. Good job brainwashing my son into hating me. That's what you do when I'm not around. You start talking shit about me. You tell him that I'm the problem, don't you?"

"No!" Nicholas's mom said. "I don't know what he's talking about! Nicholas." Warning rang in her voice. "Shut up, idiot. Your dad is right! I should've texted him!" Her eyes welled up, and a few tears escaped down her cheeks, and still she smiled like everything was normal. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have forgotten to text you. I won't go out without you again, I swear."

"What were you doing!"

"Nothing!"

Nicholas wanted to drop on his knees and scream.

Talking to his dad was like talking to a wall.

And worse.

A wall couldn't shout. A wall couldn't hurt anyone.

And it went on: Nicholas's dad kept shouting and trying to force Nicholas's mom to admit to something she didn't do, and she cried and begged him to believe her, but he didn't. He grabbed her arms, pinning her to the wall, leaning in so close as he yelled that she had to tilt her head away.

"That hurts," she croaked.

"Dad, stop!" Nicholas cried, his insides trembling with fear. "Please stop! You're hurting her!" He stepped closer, tugging at his dad's clothes, trying to move him away from his mom. "Please stop!"

"Would you shut the fuck up!" his dad finally said. Spit flew out with each word. Nicholas squeezed his eyes shut, and then, before he could open them again, his dad's hand clutched his clothes at chest and shoved him back so hard he crashed the opposite wall. "Get out of my face!"

Nicholas scrambled to his feet and tried to free his mom again. His dad kicked his chest this time, and the air was knocked out of Nicholas's lungs. Still, he fought for his mom, even as he coughed and coughed and his chest hurt, and his vision was a little blurry even though he didn't remember crying.

He kept trying and trying until his dad caught him by his hair and threw him inside his room, then slammed the door shut on him. Again, Nicholas stood back up and tugged at the door handle. It wasn't locked, but he couldn't open it, because his dad was holding it on the other side.

"Dad!" Nicholas shouted, slamming his palm on the door. "Let me out! Mom!"

"I'm sorry," came his mom's voice. "I'll never do that again! I promise!"

His dad cursed and hollered like a madman, and then there was a loud, sickening smack. A pained yelp followed, and a thud.

Nicholas's chest heaved so fast air was barely going in. "Mom!" His heart crashed against his ribs. "Mom!"

After a few more nerve-wrecking seconds, Nicholas's dad let go of the knob on the other side, and Nicholas swung the door open and dashed into the corridor. His mom was crumpled on the floor, crying and begging as she watched Nicholas's dad storm out through the front door. The house convulsed as he slammed it shut behind him.

Nicholas kneeled beside his mom. "Mom, you should leave him. He's a bad person. You shouldn't live with bad people."

"No, he's not! You're a bad person, Nicholas!" his mom shouted, and Nicholas's heart sank to the pit of his stomach. "Everything was fine! If you just shut up and didn't argue about your stupid room, none of this would've happened!" She struggled to her feet, wiping at her face. "He was in a good mood this whole week. Now you ruined it!"

Just like that, she stood and hurried into her bedroom, leaving Nicholas behind.

Nicholas frowned, unable to comprehend this.

Dad hurts Mom, he thought. But she still wants him.

How was he supposed to solve this?

• • •

When child Nicholas is more emotionally mature than 20-year-old Nicholas lmao 😭

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