Samar's POV

I love her as much as I hate love.I love her.I am denying it since the moment I first saw her in parking lot.I am tired of denial.I cant deny it further.

How could it be possible: i love someone I never met,i miss someone i have never known.I care about someone who must have forgotten that i exist.

I want someone even after knowing its not good for me,it will hurt me,it will make me powerless.I know it ,i know everything but still I am here,desperate for her,searching for her as if she is water and I am in the middle of desert,lost,thirsty,tired.It feels like she is the only thing i ever needed and wanted.

I stare at the big screen in front of me, tracing her face a hundredth time since i got this picture of her sitting in the stadium.

"Hey man,stop staring at her like that,she wont come to life from the TV screen." Waleed says.

"Its a shame man,Samar Ibrahim liked a girl for the first time and we cant even find her."Waleed state,his voice frustrated.

"We will find her."Amir says while typing on his computer.

Waleed asks, "Have you got anything?"

Amir replies, "I'm trying, but it seems like she didn't attend DES."

Waleed says something, but I cant focus on their conversation as I am lost in my thoughts.Lost in her eyes.

Amir's voice cuts through again. "Shut up, Waleed. I haven't checked the entire list yet. We can't draw conclusions."

Waleed asks, "Where did you guys find this data on ex-students?"

Amir responds, "Ask Samar."

But I remain silent, overwhelmed by my emotions,unable of making words.

"Bro, it seems like we'll never find her," Waleed says, losing hope.

"We will find her!" Amir declares, his voice gleaming with determination. "Operation Olive Hijab will be a success!"

People are hard to trust.Since Mamma's death I feel hard to trust people but I trust these two with my life. Amir and Waleed are with me since kindergaten ,they really care about me.My feelings for them are also same.

"But how?" Waleed asks, his brow furrows. "We don't know her name or any details. All we have is this blurred picture."

"At least we could have her name, Samar ." Waleed adds

My gaze remains fixed on the screen, captivated by her beauty. Her eyes focus on the book,it feels like she is in her own world.

I scan her face repeatedly, mesmerized. Her features are etched in my mind, and I can't look away.

" I arranged that picture,believe me I will find her as well." Amir says his tone firm.

" Lets see." Waleed says and sits on the couch frustrated.

Amir stands up from his computer, a hint of disappointment on his face. "Guys, she never attended DES. She's not an alumna."

Waleed's face falls. "No way. That was our only hope."

My heart sinks, but Amir places a reassuring hand on my shoulder.

"Don't lose hope, Samar. We can still find her," he says.

"But how?" I ask desparation creeping in.

Amir sits beside me, saying. "We will work this out."

" If she is not ex student,that means she came with someone to watch the basketball match."Waleed says michieviously.

" May be she came with her boyfriend." He teases.

Waleed's teasing words ignite a fierce anger within me, despite knowing he's joking. The possibility of her being with someone else feels like a punch to the gut.

"It feels like my heart has claimed her as mine" I think to myself, scared by the intensity of my emotions.

..............

Today's a big day for Mamma. I wake up early, determined not to be late. After performing Salah, I dive into baking cupcakes for the NGO kids, following Mom's cherished recipe book.

I recall Mom making these exact cupcakes every year for the anniversary of Kindness. I've baked a hundred hoping it taste good,i know it can never match Mamma's baking.She is the best baker ever.She use to bake whenever she gets time after work.

It's Kindness's 25th anniversary, and I want everything just right. I put on my best suit, ready to honor Mamma's memory.This NGO is my connection to Mamma; it's where I feel closest to her.

As I leave my room, I pause at her picture on the TV screen. I still have no clue about her.

As I arrive at Alina Aunty's home, I find her frazzled and busy. She's like a mother to me, Mamma's best friend and Kindness's guardian since her passing.

Inside, I hand Sana(Alina aunty's deaf daughter) her gift, and her bright smile rewards me. She thank me in sign language.

"You're spoiling her," Aunty says approaching us in to the living area.

I grin. "She's my sister; I'll spoil her."

"Oh, my god, you are looking like a prince."She pat my head in motherly manner.

"Thanks," I reply, feeling a bit shy.

" You seems tired,what happened.Are you sick?" She ask,concerned.

Sick,thats what i think but Amir said, "You are not sick,Samar,You are in Love."

" I am sick." I reply."What's wrong? You sounded troubled on the phone."I ask her.

"Nothing, just stressed about NGO and management," she admits.

"Need my help?" I offer.

"No, beta, I'll manage," she reassures.

After saying bye to sana, we head to the NGO.

As I drive, Alina Aunty continues her phone call.

"Anaya, have you arrived? How's everything?" she asks.

"Okay, thank you. I'm just getting there,"
Aunty wraps up the call and turns to me.

"It seems like you trust Anaya a lot," I observe.

"Obviously!" Aunty exclaims. "She's an amazing girl. Joined Kindness last year and has been invaluable. So trustworthy and versatile."

...............

I sit amidst the crowd, yet feel profoundly alone. Alina Aunty's photo exhibition, "Kindness: A 25-Year Journey," transports me to a bygone era.

The first image stops me cold: Mamma, surrounded by a small group, inaugurating Kindness 25 years ago. My heart swells, and my eyes well up.

Every picture tells a story, every story evokes emotions. My eyes brim with tears, overwhelmed by the ocean of memories.

Alina Aunty approaches, concern etched on her face. "Samar, are you okay?"

I nod, struggling to maintain my composure.

I remember coming to Kindness with Mamma, watching her selflessly serve others.

A particular picture catches my eye: Mamma holding me in her lap, a bright smile on her face. I'm just a child, innocence radiating from my eyes.

Just as I'm lost in memories, the door swings open and Dad walks in with his wife. Their presence is like a punch to the gut.I cant stand them in my mamma's holy place.

Anger and resentment simmer within me. I can't bear to look at them.

Without a word, I turn to leave, but Alina Aunty intercepts me.

"Samar, wait!" she calls out, concern etched on her face.

I quicken my pace, escaping the room and the painful memories.

I step out of the hall and sit on a bench in the garden, surrounded by the serene beauty of nature. But my mind drifts back to a tumultuous night, 16 years ago.Mamma's voice echoing in my head.Anxiety attack gripping me.

I'm 11 again, reliving the painful memories.

I woke up to Dad's thundering voice.I came out of my room to see whats wrong..I hear voice coming from their bedroom.

"How long have you been cheating on me?" Mamma's voice trembles, laced with tears

"I'm not cheating!" Dad protests.

I hid behind the couch.

"Waqas, don't lie! I know everything," Mamma screams.

"Amira, shut up! Stop screaming. You'll wake up Samar," Dad warns.

Mamma's voice cracks, pain evident. "Oh God, I wasted my life on someone like you. How could you do this to me? I was a fool to fall in love with you."

Dad remains defiant. "I'm not cheating."

Mamma's desperation grows. "At least accept your mistake, Waqas. I've seen her with you."

Dad's voice rises. "Yes, I'm cheating! Now what? Will you arrest me? Go call the cops!

I tremble, fearing discovery. Footsteps approach, and I dart back into my room.

I couldnt sleep the whole night.

I sit there, frozen, feeling suffocated from the weight of my thoughts.I'm powerless, unable to move, to walk to my car. I dont know how long I am sitting here.Time stands still until Nitin's concerned voice breaks the spell.

"Sir, Do you need anything? You're getting late for your meeting,or should I cancel it" he reminds me.

I take a deep breath, composing myself. Slowly, I rise and walk towards my car.

I approach my car, Nitin opening the door for me. Just as I'm about to get in, a stray ball rolls to my feet.

In a burst of anger, I kick the ball hard. It hits a pillar, ricochets, and accidentally strikes a nearby little girl.

Though the girl was unhurt,she sinks to ground and starts screaming. I'm taken aback by her acting, unsure how to react.

A figure rushes to comfort the child - a girl.She sits on the ground beside the girl.

It's her. I cant believe my eyes.Its actually her.

" Maryam didi,he kicked the ball at me.Its hurting." Little girl says to Maryam.Her name is Maryam.Beautiful.

Maryam's gaze lifts up to look at me.
I spin around, hiding my face. I can't bear to meet her gaze.

My mind races. What is she doing here? Why now?I am searching her everywhere and she was always so close.

Breathing deeply, I try to calm myself, but my eyes betray me, stealing glances at her.

........

THANK YOU SO MUCH READERS