She wished she were in a dream, all this happened as fast as it shouldn't. Yesterday night they went home and bid Mama goodbye, even though Aisha wanted to cry and beg Mama so he will let her stay, she couldn't. Mama seemed so happy seeing them together and Abba acted up all a lovely husband towards her. That was how they left Mama while Aisha's heart was in turmoil. For the two days she had spent with him as her husband, she knew of nothing rather than pain and tears.

And today, as she sat down on the passenger's seat and waited for him to lock the house, she felt tears pooling the brink of her eyes. This wasn't the life she imagined for herself. She knew she had wanted a changed of the environment over the past few months, but she was in Katsina and that sufficed. Even if she wanted a change of environment, she wouldn't want it to be with Abba. After all, she wanted nothing but to hide from the world. Be invisible with no trace of her.

Abba entered the car and stole a glance at her glum face, internally he hissed. She's making it look as if he was a serial killer and she got wrapped up in his trap. "Will you put on your seatbelt or you're waiting for me to do that for you?" He asked, and Aisha cringed at his voice.

You can say that nicely, Abba. She wanted to say, but she gulped down a lump in her throat and put on the seat belt. Over the two days stay with him, what she had been grateful for was; he had never tried to touch her. Not even her hands and that was fine. She felt more at ease.

He drove out of the compound and there came the silence. With every minute spent together with him, Aisha wanted to disappear from the world. He came along with an aura that shook her soul with fear and terror, and when he spoke, she felt his word as though a fire splattered on her body. She took her journal from her bag and began writing, not minding the look he flashed her.

I wish I can hide away from this world

Be invisible and non-existent like a speck of dust

I'm afraid of all that surrounds me

The soft steps of people walking towards me freak me out

Like an ant fears for his death when being walked upon by man

I know I'm a coward, but I was turned into one

Broken, crumbled, and shattered into shreds

To me, everyone is after me to hurt me

Ans sadly, whoever I let in keeps proving my instincts right

Aisha U. Faruk

"You wish you can hide from this world? Don't even try doing something stupid when I'm not home, Aisha." He glared at her and that's when she remembered who she was with and he might've seen what she wrote.

She quickly put back in her journal and not spared him a glance, while fiddling with her fingers. This would be the most painful journey she would ever have. She knew. And the moment he shouted, "Won't you answer me? Aisha, I can't put up with this habit of your's, how can I be talking to you and you'll stay mum?"

She flung, but her anger had risen to the point she couldn't hold it anymore. She looked at him and for a moment their eyes met. "Do you ever think that you can say whatever you want in a polite way? You can't be harsh on me while you're the one that said you love me and you have me married to you. Stop it, I'm human too. As much you don't want me tampering with your feelings, I don't want you to tamper with mine." Even though she had tears rolling down her cheeks, her words rolled out with so much aplomb. She flashed him a look that spoke her disgust and hatred towards him.

Awestricken, Abba looked at her and his face scowled even more. He slowed down the speed and stared at how she palmed her face and cried hard. Finding a decent place at the roadside, Abba parked and looked at her. He handed her a bottle of water, "Go and wash your face, we need to talk, if this is what you're crying for."

Aisha looked at him with a confused expression and did as he said, she entered the car and put back her seatbelt. Igniting on the car, Abba drove on and looked at her. "Are you done? Or you still need some more time to cry?" He said sarcastically and Aisha looked at him and nodded her head softly.

He cleared his throat and grimaced his face even more, "You cried because of the way I talked to you? Then what will you do if we get to Taraba and see the way I live? Because I'm never going to change the way I live because of you. Are you going to cry every day?"

Hopelessly, Aisha looked at him and she felt tears trying to spill out of her eyes, but she fought them back. "What do you mean? What is the life you live there? Are you a serial killer? A mafia member? Or an armed robber?"

He didn't know when he broke into a pitch of laughter and looked at the way she was innocently looking at him with her eyes filled with pure curiosity. "What? Are you this pointless? How can you think this low of me? God, Aisha!" He laughed even more and Aisha looked at how he laughed. If he was at ease, he looked so much like Nasir and he was handsome as well.

"What? That's the only things I could think of, apart from your throng of girlfriends I mean." She glared at him and looked away.

"You'll see it for yourself, I'm just warning you firsthand." And the look on his face was back, then she knew that her limit had been exceeded. She looked away and pulled back the chair she was seated on. It was time to sleep, she thought. As she closed her eyes, she dreamt of Nasir.

❃

Aisha felt a slight tap on her shoulder, she looked up and his face appeared to her eyes. She silently groaned at him and sat upright, pulling the chair back to its normal position. She looked around, and they were still on the road. She looked stunned, "What? I thought we have arrived. Why do you wake me up?"

"It's approximately an eight hours drive from Bauchi to Taraba, we have to eat and pray." There was a town around and Abba drove in. He spotted a restaurant and parked in front of it.

Abba looked at Aisha and motioned towards the restaurant, "Get out, let's go and eat. You should do fast. Let's meet over there and pray, they don't have a mosque."

She nodded her head softly and they got down together. They sat on the same table and were served their food. Aisha looked at him and pouted her lips, "I don't eat this flour pudding, don't they have anything else?"

"You shouldn't cry because of this, you know? Are you naturally a lachrymose or what? Get a hold of yourself, Aisha, we're in public." He glared at her and called the waiter.

"What more do you have? She doesn't eat this pudding." The waiter listed and Aisha opted for a yam porridge. It was brought to her and she smiled weakly at him before she started eating the food.

They finished and found a tap where they performed their ablution and Aisha walked behind him as they walked towards the clean spot they saw. He walked back to the car and took out the praying mats for them. He handed her the praying mats and Aisha sprayed them the mats and she stood behind him as they prayed. When they were done, she watched as he supplicated with his hands and wished he was Nasir.

They got back to the car and the journey continued with no one saying a word or two. She took the one among the poetry books Nasir gave her and started reading. She was bored, tired and afraid of this man driving beside her. She dreaded the time they would get to Taraba because she knew the pain he had in store for her was too huge for her frail heart. He even warned her, what kind of husband did that?

They arrived late in the evening and as Abba drove into the estate, she admired the peace and calmness of it. He parked in front of a house that had 'Block 6' inscribed. They were two houses fused into one. One on the down floor while the other one is the up floor. He handed her the keys, "Open the one house, it's in the up floor. I'll come in with our bags." She nodded and walked in.

Through the terrace which was made of glass, she watched as Abba called one of the labourers in the estate and he helped them with the bags upstairs. She unlocked the door and the house was such a beautiful one. She placed down her bag on one of the sofas and looked around until she spotted a fridge and she walked towards it and drank water. She had been thirsty for the last two hours of their drive and she was afraid to tell Abba that.

They got the bags in and Abba thanked the man before he looked at Aisha. She was already in the balcony, staring at the estate while the sun slowly got down to the clouds and hid from the world. He sighed and walked towards the balcony, "It's a beautiful house, right?" He asked out of the blue moon and looked at how radiant her face looked, even though she was tired.

She nodded her head at him and smiled a little bit. She knew this wouldn't end well, she knew him to this extent now. "The woman I love to choose it for me, she said it gives the perfect view of the rising and setting sun. She loves nature."

"And why does that concerns me?" She was rude, she knew. And she knew he would give her a scolding of her own.

Abruptly, he turned her and she was now facing him. The veins in her throat popped out in fear and she gulped down a lump in her throat as she stared at his face. "It concerns you because everything you see here is hers. Don't get too attached, it's never yours." His voice sounded enigmatic and she shivered in fear.

"Why didn't you get married to her? Why me? You said you love me." She was trying so hard to get out of his world, but he held her and his fingers dived into her flesh.

Her eyes were getting misty and she fought them back. "You can never say a word about her, not even in your dream. And for your information, I don't love you, Aisha. You can never expect me to love you, right? I love Nuriyya, that's all."

"Then why in the hell did you get married to me?!" She thundered and broke into tears. She knew it, it was either this man used her to get something or used her to get away from something. Either of the two.

"I used you. And I need a legal wife by my side, you know?" He smirked and walked away.

"I'll put out her things from her room and have you stay there. She'll have to stay in my room whenever she visits us." And that was it, as he walked into the room he claimed to be Nuriyya's room.

"When she visits us?" Aisha asked, barely audible, and so no answer came.

❃

She turned and watched the room, it surely had a touch of feminity. As he said, he had all her things taken to his home by himself and she was finally let into the room. At first glance, Aisha hated the room and she walked towards the wardrobe and began unpacking her clothes. She had to do something that will take her mind off Abba and all that mattered to him. Even Nasir, she needed to get these two brothers out of her head.

She finished and prayed before she sat down and looked at the painting of herself she had brought along, the one Nasir gave her. She left the other one on purpose, she can't be reading about how he prayed for her to be his wife while she was married to his brother. She smiled at the picture and fondled it softly. She imagined if she were married to Nasir, what would they have been doing now?

The door abruptly opened and she stared at the intruder, she knew it had to be him. "Where is my dinner?" He asked, still not entering the room, his hand still holding the knob.

She shook her head innocently, "I thought you're going to buy us something to eat, we just arrived only an hour or two ago."

He hissed softly and Aisha slightly shuddered. "Find the kitchen and cook for yourself. Lock the door when I'm out and don't bother waiting for me. I'll come to get you at 9 am tomorrow, you're to start going to school." And he was out of her sight in the blink of an eye.

Aisha followed behind him and she heard only the sound of his shoes as they smack the stairs on his way down. He isn't even going to rest? She asked herself and walked towards the door and locked it. She leaned on the door and looked at the living room again. She was used to living alone when she was together with Mommy, why did she have an alien feeling now? It didn't feel right to her. She knew if it was Nasir, only the call from the hospital can make him walk out of the house and she was he would leave together with her.

She walked to the kitchen and started cooking, but all she could imagine was herself cooking while Nasir ranted off her ears with his talks and his annoying tasting. She smiled to herself and served herself before she walked to the balcony and sat down and smiled as the chilly wind brushed on her skin. She looked up at the stars and a certain feeling of longing struck her heart. She remembered the last day she had seen Nasir and heard his voice.

A rope of hope dangled in her soul and she ran back to her room and took her journal with her back to the balcony. She smiled at her moon and she could imagine the moon smiling back at her. If the moon could talk, Aisha was sure it would ask her about Nasir, the only man capable of loving a soul more than the moon would ever be loved and admired. 'Dr. Nasir' The name on the pen smiled at her as she ducked her head down and wrote.

I feel like in the core of my heart

That someday I'd wake up to you by my

Side and I'd be able to see your morning smile

Be able to brush a hand into your bushy hair

To see you off to work with a smile and a goodbye hug

And be eagerly waiting for your comeback with your favourite meal on set

I know that someday, I'd hold a child in my hands

A child of you and I

A child of ours.

Aisha U. Faruk.