JEWEL

I walked away, not because I was done, but because I had no choice. Damn Huck and his alpha commands. It was bullshit. All our lives, I'd been the voice of reason. Now, he wouldn't even let me speak. He didn't even let me explain my side. She was the one talking about me. She'd started it.

"Jewel," Bear called quietly behind me.

"Leave me alone." I went left, walked twenty feet, heaved a sigh, and then veered right. I had no idea what I was doing. No idea where to go.

Flora.

I shifted course again and picked up pace. Flora could calm me down. She could make this make sense. Or, at the very least, she could agree with me. Maybe then I wouldn't feel so alone.

Well, not alone.

"Jewel, please," Bear said again. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like—"

"I know what you meant." I kept walking, pushing through the pack, searching for her. But of course, when I found her, that fancy mountain bitch was there too. My teeth clenched, and I balled my fist, feeling as if she were stealing every aspect of my life.

"Who was Jewel's father?" Huck demanded of Flora.

I froze, staring at them, my brain fighting to catch up. What was he doing? Why was he asking that? My father was no one. A monster we didn't discuss. An enemy we'd never gotten to face.

"Tell me his name!" That tone. His new weapon.

Flora's answer. "Dean."

Stillness washed over me as if a bomb had just exploded too close. I stood stunned, picturing the man I'd known. Dean at his table, teaching Huck and me how to hustle. Dean, a father for the fatherless, bringing us supplies he'd paid for with his winnings.

Was Dean my father?

No. He couldn't be. That would mean... "He killed my mother." My voice was barely a breath, but somehow, Huck heard me.

He whipped around, and I couldn't face him. I ran.

"Jewel! Wait!"

But I didn't stop. This was too much, and I didn't know how to process it. I tore through the pack, into the woods, having no real direction other than away.

"Jewel," Bear called again.

I jolted, having forgotten he was following me. Too much was happening at once. My life was falling apart, and it had never been together. I'd been born into a broken world, raised upon a cracked foundation, and the ground was finally giving way.

I didn't want to talk about it. "Go away."

"The group is still moving," Bear said. "We'll get left behind."

"Then you should probably hurry up."

"I won't leave you."

"Of course you won't." I stopped, spun, glared.

Bear drew to a halt ten feet away, and his throat worked. "What can I do to make it up to you?"

He still thought I was upset with him. In a way, I supposed I was. Watching him walk with her, her hand on his arm, professing his undying devotion to protect her while proclaiming me to be a pain in his ass. Not in those exact words, but I got the point. But no, that wasn't my issue. I was being a pain in the ass, and he wanted me. The mate bond demanded that much. My problem was with the goddess and her sick sense of humor.

"I'll do anything," he added when I didn't answer him.

"Anything?"

He nodded. "Just name it, and I'll—"

"Fight me." My fingers curled into tight fists; my heartbeat quickened in anticipation. I needed to hit something—someone. I needed to be hit. I needed to lose myself in violence and expel this rage before it ate me alive.

"Fight you?" Bear hesitated, his eyes running over me.

I stepped forward, slowly closing the space between us. Then I shoved him hard in the chest.

He stumbled back. "I don't want to—"

"You said anything."

His jaw twitched. "Alright. Fine, but—"

I swung.

He dodged, barely making it out of the way before my fist connected with his head. I swung again, kicked, swung. Each time he narrowly avoided, and he didn't swing back. We were like two dancers moving to different songs.

He side-stepped another of my attempts, and his hand gently cupped my elbow. Then his arm circled my waist from behind, pinning me close.

I kicked backward and finally connected.

Bear cursed and stumbled back, and I spun to swing again.

He limped back another foot. "Wait—"

"Fight back!" I rushed him.

"Believe me," he growled as he caught my wrists in his hands. "I am!"

I hiked up my knee, nearly getting him where it would hurt the most, and something about my change in aim pushed him over the edge.

With a snarl, Bear hoisted my legs around his waist and pinned me to the nearest tree.

Heavy breaths mixed between us; chaos warred inside my chest until it felt like a twister would form and destroy us both.

"Hit me," I seethed from between clenched teeth.

"Not a chance," he snapped back.

"Why not?"

"Because I don't want to hurt you!"

I fought to break free like a cat being carried to a bath, but Bear batted away each of my attempts, keeping me trapped with his body.

"I am not fragile!"

"Good." His mouth crashed onto mine in a completely different kind of assault. It was angry, punishing, so, so good. Next thing I knew, I was kissing him back just as fiercely, and we were tearing at each other's clothes, joining in a different kind of fight—a fight to be closer.

Bear broke the kiss and cupped my jaw, his thumb under my chin, forcing my eyes level with his as he entered me. A tiny moan slid from my throat, drawing a harsh breath from his. Emotion bled through the bond, and I couldn't quite seem to block it out.

I closed my eyes, needing the distance.

Bear withdrew, and then stilled, keeping me poised on the edge of ecstasy. "Look at me," he demanded.

I shook my head. "No."

With a soft growl, he leaned in, sucking on his mark, sending a flood of need to my center. I wriggled, pressing down, but he kept me just out of reach.

"Look at me," he said again.

"No," I said. "Fuck me."

He growled. "Not until you look at me." His lips trailed my skin. He bit down gently on my shoulder.

I clenched my eyes shut tighter. He was good, but I was better. I trailed my nails down his back and pressed my lips to his ear. "Fuck me," I breathed.

With another groan, he eased in an inch. "I want to."

"Then do it."

He was quiet for the longest moment, and time stilled when I needed it to fly. I was just about to give in, open my eyes, and give him what he was asking for, when his lips gently brushed mine.

My breath caught, and my entire body stiffened.

Bear hesitated. "It's okay." His tongue traced my bottom lip, begging for entrance. "Let me kiss you, Jewel." His hips rocked slowly. "Please."

I whimpered. It was more than I could resist. My wolf took control, and my mouth parted submissively.

"That's it." His tongue dipped in, caressing, tasting, savoring, matching the languid rhythm of his body.

Warmth swallowed me like a blanket: soft, comforting, safe. I'd never felt as peaceful as I did at that moment, not even with Huck. The girl I'd always been—that hard, defensive, little girl always fighting to survive—disappeared. And for a blissful moment, I got to experience what it felt like to be blessed.

"Jewel." Bear whispered my name like a prayer.

Emotion flooded through me, from me, flowing between us like the river.

If I lost this...

My heart rose into my throat, and my eyes flew open wide. "I want to stop now."

Bear froze, his brow furrowing as his gaze ran over my face. "What's wrong?"

"The group is getting too far ahead of us." A lie. I could stay here for a week and still catch up to them, but if I stayed here another second, I might never find myself. I wriggled to be free, and this time, Bear relented.

I avoided eye contact as I gathered what was left of my clothes and put them on, but I could feel his gaze burning a hole into my face. What could I say to him? How could I make sure this didn't happen again? Was it already too late? My pulse increased with each second that passed, and I took off without waiting, focusing on my steps as if distance made any difference at all.

Bear let me have my space. It would have been easier if he hadn't. He knew what he was doing—all the right things.

We walked in awkward silence, and it was dark by the time I smelled the new camp the pack had set up for the night. I stopped walking and turned to face him, but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't lift my gaze off the ground. "You have two options," I said. "We can end this now, keep our distance in all ways, or we can enjoy each other—physically—just enough to save ourselves from insanity."

"That's not how this works," he said. "We bonded. If you wanted to reject me, why bond?"

"Because we don't get to choose. The goddess does."

"Then why fight—"

"My mother was fated to her murderer." The words erupted, and the second they did, more followed. They poured from me as if a dam had been broken. "The one person she should have been able to trust poisoned her before I was even a year old. He orphaned me. The goddess orphaned me. Turns out he was right under my nose my whole life, and I can see how he fooled her. He fooled me. That's how I know—no matter how nice, attentive, or genuine you seem—I can't trust you. I don't want to trust you. I refuse to trust you. And before you argue with me, I'll admit that I might be wrong. I may be sacrificing the only fucking good thing she ever did for me, but it's worth it if it keeps me alive."

"Jewel—"

"So it's up to you. We can fuck, or we can not. But what you want isn't an option."

He pursed his lips, but gears turned across his expression. Then, after an endless minute, he gave me his answer by continuing forward without a word.

I swallowed. Well, shit. It was ridiculous how dejected I felt. I was the one who gave him the ultimatum. If anyone had the right to be upset, it was him, but that didn't numb the sting. Maybe after some time to digest, he would finally come around to my way of thinking. After all, he still hadn't told me who the mysterious Aria was.

I expected us to go our separate ways, but just before we reached the others, Bear took my hand and gently tugged me to stand in front of him.

"What—"

My words died as his hand slid down to the small of my back, pressing me closer. The sweetest embrace. How could such a small gesture feel like such an assault?

"I would never hurt you, Jewel."

"It—"

"And I'm right here. Whatever you need. For as long as my heart is still beating, it will beat for you."

My jaw clenched, but my heart melted. I needed to step away. I needed to run. "I'm not asking you to do that."

"You don't have to."

Then he kissed my forehead, and he left me there, taking a part of me with him.