JEWEL

I stood in the shadows, watching as the moon ceremony shifted into a bonding ritual. He'd already marked her. I'd known that. She was his luna, but this made it so much more final. I wasn't the most important person in his life anymore. I hadn't been for quite some time. I never would be again.

I crossed my arms, cold despite the summer night air. The only constant in our lives was change, and valley wolves adapted. We persevered. That was what kept us alive, but this...

He was mine. My person. My constant. The only thing I had. My vision blurred as I watched them join hands, sealing both their fate and mine.

"You love him." Bear's deep voice rumbled low behind me.

I jolted and turned, finding his hulking shadow looming downwind. How long had he been standing there? My jaw clenched, and my hands fisted. Of course he would show up just as my world was crashing down. Another gift. Another slap in the face. Another thing she could use against me. Even now, my wolf was submitting to her will, urging me to reassure him there was no other man but him.

"So what if I do?" I said.

He growled low in his throat, and a wave of heat flooded my abdomen. My decision to dance had been solely focused on Brooke's reaction, but if she'd felt threatened at all, she hadn't shown it. Bear, on the other hand...

I looked back at the fire, watching as Huck did the mating dance, claiming her for all the pack to see.

"Is he the reason you rejected me?"

I swallowed hard against the knot in my throat. No. Huck wasn't the reason. He was one small part of a world of shit, and I was tired. Tired of fighting. Tired of losing. Tired of always doing without. Gravity increased, the pull strengthening as if the goddess herself was reading my thoughts and expressing just how much she didn't care about them. "And what if he is?"

A twig snapped as Bear drew closer, and then I felt his heat as he stepped into place behind me. So close. One step back was all it would take to press my body against his. A cool breeze blew over my skin—still bare and covered in clay. I hated how badly I wanted him. I hated the goddess for giving me things just so she could rip them away. I hated how much my stomach hurt watching Huck leave me over and over again. I hated that my mother was murdered by a man just like the one behind me.

I hated that it didn't matter, because the goddess always got her way.

He still hadn't answered my question. He hadn't said anything at all. He just stood there, and the tension was so thick, it was like being underwater.

I took a slow breath in through my nose. "What do you want, Bear?"

Again, no response. We both knew the answer. It was the same thing I wanted. It was what the goddess wanted.

"Do you want to touch me?" I pressed.

"Yes." His voice was strained.

A slow heat bloomed in my belly, rivaling the rage that had been building since my birth. What was I fighting for? I had no control over my life. If I did, it sure as hell wouldn't look like this.

Bear's fingers lightly brushed my arm, sending a jolt of electricity rocketing through my chest.

Well, maybe it would look a little like this. "That feels good," I breathed.

A shuddering breath left his chest, and his touch trailed up to my shoulder. He gathered my hair and moved it aside, exposing my neck.

Yes. My wolf sighed, and I sighed with her. He'd barely done a thing, and I was ready to submit. To give in. To allow myself the pleasure, despite knowing the pain to follow. I stepped back, pressing my ass against him.

Bear groaned, and his hand slid down the front of my body, cupping my breast, pulling me closer. "Jewel, I—"

"You should undress."

A harsh breath. "Are you sure this is what you want?"

"We both know it's inevitable."

He stepped back, and I heard him undo his pants and shove them down. I closed my eyes, swallowed hard, focused on my breaths. I wanted this. She'd made me want this, but that didn't mean I had to give up myself. I wouldn't allow him or her to throw me off guard. I was in control of this, and it would stay that way if it was the last thing I did.

Bear caressed my hip gently, and I turned around and took him into my hand.

He groaned. "Jewel."

I stroked him, enjoying the way his muscles quivered, his lips parted, his eyes hooded. I could practically see the thin thread he was clinging to, and I wanted it to snap. I wanted him thoughtless—too focused on the physical to even consider anything deeper.

"Slow down," he said, but his words didn't match his tone. His wolf was fighting for dominance, clearly on my side.

"No." I stepped in, biting his chest, unable to stop my own moan from sliding past my lips. I didn't want gentle. I didn't want sweet. I didn't want to make love only to have it tarnished later. Fucking was easier. Fucking was primal. "Make me yours, Bear."

With a growl, he hoisted me into his arms and stepped deeper into the trees. His kiss was ferocious; his groan was desperate. He held my hips, keeping my body poised on the edge of almost as his lips trailed across my jaw, down my neck. "Mine."

"Prove it."

He bit down, and I cried out, clinging to his wide back as our bond formed like vines intertwining. Emotion flooded through me, adoration spreading across terror. No. This wasn't what I wanted. I wriggled my hips, fighting to close the last remaining gap between us. But Bear prevented it, and there was something far too gentle about the way he held me.

"Fuck me," I urged.

He growled against my skin, then he slowly pressed against my entrance.

"More," I said, clawing his massive shoulders. "Bear, more!"

He exhaled harshly; the thread snapped. He entered me all at once, pulled back, and did it again, holding my weight as if it were nothing, pumping me up and down without releasing my neck. His teeth clenched like a predator with a kill as he stretched my walls. So deep. So good.

My pussy pulsed, body shook, and breathy moans echoed from somewhere deeper than my lungs. Yes. This. There wasn't anything sweet about it. Our bodies slapped with each connection, a thoughtless frenzy with only one goal. But he was the best part. His unshakable fortitude completely collapsed, turning him into an absolute animal.

He withdrew his fangs and licked the mark roughly as he backed me against a tree. His hips continued to rock, thrusting harder, faster, giving me exactly what I'd asked for, and it was more than I could handle.

The pleasure built, growing and growing until it felt as if I would explode. Too much. Not enough. "I—I can't."

He growled. "Yes, you can."

Another thrust, and I toppled over the edge, crying out as my body jerked violently in his arms.

"Goddess," Bear swore, then I felt him nearing his own peak, and panic slapped me with a crucial moment of clarity.

"Wait!"

But Bear didn't need me to tell him anything. He withdrew as if I were made of fire, and a moment later, I felt him release onto my thigh. He pinned me tighter against the tree, burying his face into my neck until his body had time to calm. "That was—"

"Great," I finished for him. It was more than great. It was the most earth-shattering moment of my life, and I needed it to end before it became something more. "And now that it's out of the way, we can stop being so distracted and focus on what's important."

He stiffened, then slowly, he pulled back and searched my face. "What do you mean?"

"I mean the goddess wanted us bonded. Now we are. I should go wash up."

His brow furrowed, then he opened his mouth, closed it into a grim line. "Why do you feel so distant?"

"I don't know what you mean."

"Yes you do. We bonded. I should be able to feel everything you feel, but all I'm getting is a wall."

"I often feel like a wall."

"Jewel."

My heart clenched. He didn't deserve it. Neither of us did, but it wasn't my fault. The goddess insisted, she persisted, and she wasn't going to stop until she got her way. But while she could control my life, she couldn't control everything, and I knew better than to trust her...or him.

I forced a smile, fighting to hide the war playing out inside me. "Let me down, Bear. I promise, we'll do this again another time."

Slowly, reluctantly, he set me down and stepped back.

I averted my gaze as I headed toward my camp to wash up, stopping when he moved to follow. "I'll catch up with you later, okay?"

He stopped, and he didn't respond. My wolf raged as I continued forward, demanding I turn back. My claws erupted with my fangs as she nearly took control. She was right. This was wrong. He hadn't done anything to deserve it...yet. But a mate bond didn't guarantee loyalty, and with Huck gone, I was on my own.

If I wanted to survive, I had to protect myself, even if it meant keeping distance from the one person meant to complete me.

* * *

I slept alone and not at all. All night long, I tossed and turned, my wolf whining to be with our mate. It was all I could do not to oblige her, but I remained strong, and I didn't see him again until I walked into camp the next morning.

He was sitting by himself, eating a piece of the grizzly he'd killed. The second I entered his line of sight, his eyes locked onto me. Accusation filled his gaze. We'd bonded, but nothing had changed. I couldn't blame him for being upset, but at the same time, I couldn't risk it.

I swallowed hard and headed toward Flora, who was busy handing out breakfast.

Bad idea.

She gasped when she saw me, her hand flying over her mouth. "I knew it!"

"Please don't make a fuss about it," I said, trying to sound nonchalant.

She nodded, her eyes shiny with tears. "Oh, Jewel. I'm so happy for you. When Huck found his mate, I was worried that—"

"Where is Huck?"

As if on cue, I noticed him out of the corner of my eye. He was packing a bag full of supplies. As a matter of fact, most everyone was packing. I'd been so distracted at the sight of Bear, I hadn't even noticed. "Are we moving?"

"We're heading toward the caves nearest the city. Huck plans to take a group in to secure supplies for the pack."

Did he? Well it was about damn time. "So he finally decided to listen to me."

She handed me a piece of meat. "I was under the impression it was our new Luna's idea."

"I was begging him to do that before she even got here! He said no. He said we shouldn't leave the mountain. The whole reason I almost got eaten by this grizzly—" I gave the food a shake. "—Is because he refused to listen."

Flora shrugged. "I guess you and our luna have a lot in common."

My teeth clenched, and I took my food and walked away. It didn't matter. It was fine. At least we were doing something now, but no matter how hard I fought to contain my irritation, it spread like a disease.

Bear intercepted my path. "Can we talk?"

He was shirtless, his jeans hanging dangerously low on his hips. The perfect distraction. "Let's go somewhere more private."

I led the way into the trees, eating my meager breakfast as we walked. I had no real destination other than away. Truth be told, I should have started packing. As beta, I should have been helping to organize everyone else. I scoffed. The luna was so wise, let her do it.

I swallowed the last bite, stopped walking, and turned to face Bear. "What do you want to talk about?"

He scoffed. "I don't understand you. We're bonded, Jewel. You're acting like it means nothing."

"I'm sorry."

He hesitated, seeming thrown off guard by my apology. His mouth opened, closed, and then opened again. "It's alright. It's just..." His Adam's apple bobbed. "Did I hurt you?"

Not yet.

I shook my head.

"Then why?"

My wolf raged within me, sick and tired of the way I was behaving. She'd forgotten Mama entirely, and instead of helping me protect myself, she was acting as if I were the enemy. "Was it horrible?" I asked.

"What? No, it's just—"

"Want to do it again?"