"Everything okay? You seem a little off today (y/n)?" Todoroki asked.

"Huh?" You looked up from your food. "Yeah, everything's fine! Why do ya ask Todo?"

"Oh, you just seemed like you were thinking about something important."

"I was just thinking about the new episode of My Hero Macadamia that aired last night!" You eagerly replied. "You shoulda seen it, it was nuts!"

Ochaco spit out her drink and started chuckling.

"Nuts... Like macadamia nuts..." She laughed. "(Y/N) YOU'RE A GENIUS!"

The two of you rode out the joke for a few more minutes. Todoroki just watched in confusion. Izuku had to explain it to him.

Truth be told, everything was not okay. You were shaken up by what had happened yesterday. Sure you had been saved by Dabi before things escalated too far, but that feeling of being so powerless had stuck with you. That feeling of being grabbed, that feeling of being stuck. And it made sense that Todoroki was worried. This morning when he had gone to hold your hand, you had instinctively tore it away. Not only that, today you weren't as loud or vibrant as usual.

But you laughed it off or made up some bullshit excuse.

As always.

-After School: Library-

"God, these finals will be the death of me..." You groaned, head thrown back in your chair.

"It'll be fine." Todoroki insisted. "We've been studying hard after all."

"Yeah, but I didn't even place in the top 10 for midterms. And I was actually feeling confident then!"

It was the usual after school routine. Same spot, back of the library at a table hidden behind several long shelves. It was typically pretty empty. And while you could appreciate the silence, you picked that spot mostly so others wouldn't be annoyed or distracted by your constant groaning.

"I'll help you with some of the harder material." He responded.

"Ughhhh. How are you so smart?!" You whined once more, head coming down to smack against the table. "Life is cruel..."

"You're smart. Don't think less of yourself."

"You're sweet Todo..." You smiled.

"Just stating facts." He scoffed.

He always found a way to make you smile like that. And you were thankful for it. You got up from your seat, walking over to the well loved mathematics guide book section. Your hand scanned the shelves, fingertips ghosting over the spines of each book.

Let's see... It should be-

"Need help reaching something?" It didn't really feel like a question since Todoroki had  already made his way behind you. His breath felt close, too close.

It made you jump.

"I-It's alright, I got it..." You mumbled.

"But it's on the top shelf. Don't be stubborn, I don't want any books to fall on you."

This had happened before, right before your rejection. And now it was a dream come true.

Or maybe it was any other day.

But not today.

Why did it have to be today?

You were tense. You just didn't want anybody to touch you. But you couldn't tell him that. Todoroki would never hurt a fly. He would never lay a hand on you without pure or loving intentions.

But you just couldn't handle it today.

And then you felt his lips press against the back of your neck, his arms wrapping around your torso.

"(Y/n)..." Todoroki softly whispered against your skin.

Subconsciously, you began to tremble.

What do I do? Do I tell him? No no no I can't do that... I don't want him to worry...

"Sorry Todo, but I'd just like some space right now..."

He immediately released you and shifted away.

"Oh, sorry..." Todoroki softly spoke. You could feel the tingle of confusion in his voice. "Are you alright?"

"Yes... I am." You attempted to reassure him. But you weren't fooling anyone. There was a break in your words and a stiffness in your voice.

"(Y/n), turn around and look at me."

Nothing gets past you, does it Todoroki?

You grew silent.

"(Y/n)." He called out once more.

When you finally turned to look at him, your face had become deadpan.

"I said I was alright. Please believe me Todoroki." You responded, voice monotone.

"Did you just... Suppress your emotions?"

Did I?

You yourself couldn't tell if it was conscious or not. But it was done.

"I don't understand..." Todoroki muttered. His hands pressed against either side of you on the bookcase. "You constantly insist that I share my struggles with you yet you won't do the same. That's hypocritical (y/n)."

I know.

I can see it in your eyes.

And I want to speak but there's always something that keeps my mouth shut.

And that's what you did. Your mouth stayed shut. Todoroki had waited patiently long enough.

"Fine... I know I can't make you talk." He sighed, hands folding back into himself. "I'm going home. Let me know if you need anything."

Part of you wanted to move. And part of you just wanted to collapse into yourself. Why couldn't you tell him? He was open, the answer was simple.

You watched as Todoroki gathered his things and silently exited the library. Your legs wouldn't work.

You're such an idiot (y/n)...

The weight in your chest had already grown heavier, heavy enough to weaken your knees and force your body to sink to the ground. Your throat was dry. Your stomach twisted.

You craved the cry.

But as always, there was nothing.