RobotGodHetfield1981
Deductivism
boxhammett

****

"We've been forming a plan for hooouuuurrrrsss!" one girl whined.

"boxhammett, or whatever your nickname is, this is the Robot God we're talking about. She's a literal robotic Cthulhu! We have to take this seriously."

"But Saaaaaaam!"

"Deductivism's right, man. As much as I want to shRED MA BaSs, if I ever had one, we gotta play this out like a professional chess game," Hikari replied, exhaustion clearly evident in her ridiculous twelve year old voice, not that she's twelve anyway. (She totally isn't.) "Now, who has their iPod with the-"

There was snoring.

"Oh, come on!" Sam muttered.

"Give me your stick thing, dude," Hikari stuck out her hand. Sam shook her head, mentally telling her it's no use. From what they've seen, once boxhammett sleeps, it's almost impossible to wake her up, even at the most brutal metal concerts ever.

The brunette beside Sam quickly reviewed the plan. "So we find a trapdoor thing that leads underground, then we watch out for any drone things that try to attack us, then find that portal to another dimension." She lightly nodded her head in agreement. "Sounds good enough. I'm not good with plans. Wait, aren't we supposed to find my stolen guitar rifle?"

"And my box," the then-sleeping boxhammett moaned. "It has my mini-Kirk Hammett in it! I bet the Robot God is hurting the poor thing." She cringed at the thought of the small Kirk whimpering in pain as the giant af robot chased him around with lasers. "I even forgot to give him his mini-wah pedal! I'm a disgrace!" She broke into a sobbing mess.

Sam stifled a chuckle, thinking back to her own small Jameses hiding in her basement's walls. Hikari scooted over and gave boxhammett a pat on the back.

Then she was suddenly yanked backward. "Wait, wha-"

Five (or six? Who knows? At this time Hikari can't count to save her gosh darn lifu) figures in red robes were restraining her, trying to ignore (and pin down) her kicks and ridiculously long string of made-up curses. "What are you people, the Society of the Blind Eye?! Jeez, chill! You better have the guitar rifle or you'll get some good metal up your-"

Sssshhk.

Sam blinked.

boxhammett's jaw dropped to the floor.

". . .we gotta find that trapdoor now," Sam managed to utter breathlessly.

****

whoops

stuff happened and I Disappear™

Also it kinda hurts to write the Kirk-whimpering-in-pain thing idk why-