There was something off about Donghyuck today and Mark couldn't really figure out what.

Maybe it was the fact that Donghyuck was abnormally quiet and responded to any question with a few words at most. Or maybe it was the fact that the boy wasn't nearly as clingy as he usually is.

Normally, Mark felt that silence was golden and he relished in the quiet peacefulness that he and Donghyuck had established by now.

This silence was different though and it made Mark uneasy, which in turn annoyed the shit out of him.

At the moment, they were both sitting on the couch. Donghyuck was curled up on one end and Mark was stretched out with his head resting on Donghyuck's lap.

They had the Tv on, but Mark wasn't even paying attention to it. He was fighting sleep as he began to relax because of Donghyuck absently running fingers through his hair.

"Donghyuck?"

"Hm?"

"How are you feeling?"

"Yes"

Mark sat up abruptly and glared at Donghyuck, who wasn't paying a bit of attention to the absence of Mark in his lap.

Mark didn't say a word, because he knew he wouldn't be able to remain calm if he opened his mouth.

He was just going to wait until his stare either got Donghyuck's attention or caught his hair on fire. Whichever came first.

After a few minutes and a commercial break, Donghyuck finally noticed Mark's absence and looked over at him with a puzzled expression.

"Hey, what's wrong? Why are you glaring at me?"

Mark could feel his eyebrow twitch and had to breathe in deeply to calm his nerves.

"Why have you been acting so weird today, Donghyuck?"

Mark watched as Donghyuck tensed up and averted his gaze. He was about to ask Donghyuck again, but Donghyuck spoke up,

"I'm just tired"

Mark let out a quiet sigh before getting up off the couch and kneeling in front of Donghyuck.

He placed his hands on Donghyuck's knees and looked up at the boy, who was staring at him with confusion written all over his face.

"That's bullshit and you know it. You're a horrible liar. Is it something to do with me?"

Mark watched as Donghyuck's eyes widened in horror and shook his head wildly, "No, no, no. It's not you at all"

Mark gave Donghyuck's knees a gentle squeeze before taking the teen's hands into his own,

"So if it's not me, then what's bothering you? You know I'm here for you"

Donghyuck looked down at his hands as Mark held them and bit his lower lip in thought. He hadn't realized that he had been acting weird.

He was so lost in his own thoughts that it didn't register that Mark might pick up on the fact that Donghyuck wasn't his usual self.

Donghyuck knew this day was coming up and he knew how he usually acted when it got here. He just didn't remind himself that Serim and Renjun weren't the only ones in his life now.

Those two knew what tomorrow meant. They knew how Donghyuck got, but Mark didn't. Mark didn't even know about tomorrow.

Donghyuck knew this was his fault, he should have told Mark way before today. He should have, but it wasn't something he could just bring up in normal day conversation.

It was depressing and after these past couple of months with Mark, he wasn't too keen on bringing up anything depressing to disrupt the happiness.

With a loud sigh, he hunched his shoulders and looked away from Mark's intense gaze, "I'm sorry. I should have told you way before now"

He swallowed, his nerves getting the best of him, and tried to keep his breathing regulated. This was a subject he avoided talking about as much as possible.

He knew Mark knew the basics. It was a given with the fact that Donghyuck was living by himself with his adopted sister.

Mark had never pried into the specifics though, so Donghyuck never told him. A light squeeze of his hands brought his attention back to the situation at hand.

Donghyuck gave Mark a meek smile before inhaling deeply and then exhaling,

"You know that Serim and I live by ourselves, right?"

"Yeah"

"I'm not sure you remember, but I told you that my mom is dead and my dad is missing"

Donghyuck looked at Mark again to see what kind of expression he was wearing and was surprised by the concern that was written all over his face.

"Yeah, I remember"

Donghyuck nodded his head and began to speak again, "Well, tomorrow is the anniversary of my mom's death"

A quick inhale of breath, so quiet that Donghyuck almost didn't hear it. Donghyuck knew that Mark wasn't going to say anything and it was almost reassuring because Donghyuck has heard enough "I'm sorry" for a lifetime.

He rubbed his thumbs across the back of Mark's fingers and decided to continue.

"I get like this every year around this time. I just forgot that you've never seen this side of me, so I didn't warn you ahead of time. I'm sorry"

Mark shook his head, "No, don't apologize. It's okay"

Donghyuck watched as Mark stood up and sat back down on the couch. When Mark patted his lap indicating that Donghyuck should lie down, Donghyuck happily obliged and rested his head on Mark's lap.

They stayed like that for a few minutes as Mark twirled a strand of Donghyuck's hair, which helped calm Donghyuck down.

"I was 9 when it happened. Me and Serim were at school and-"

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to. It can be some other time if you want"

"No, it's okay. I want to tell you now, because sometimes it helps to talk about it. I've only really had Serim and Renjun and they already know everything so it's not really the same"

Donghyuck sighed before he continued,

"So, we were at school and it was during lunch when they came to get us. I was freaking out, because I didn't know what I was in trouble for. You know, I was a whole lot worse back then. I was always getting into fights. I don't understand how my mom didn't lose her sanity"

He chuckled quietly and rubbed at his cheek as he remembered his mother's stern gaze while she reprimanded him for the thousandth time,

"They…They took us into the guidance counselor's officer and made us sit on the couch while a police officer came in. I started freaking out even more, because surely I didn't do anything to warrant being arrested. Serim knew what was going on before they even said anything, though. When I saw her face get really pale…I-I got this awful feeling in the pit of my stomach. Like I knew something bad was about to happen or already happened, but I didn't know what it was. I had never been so scared in my life"

Mark's fingers continued to run through his hair and Donghyuck found it comforting as he took in a deep, shaky breath before speaking again,

"The police officer kneeled down to our level and spoke in this calm way, like he was approaching a skittish animal. Which I guess in a way he was, but it was really unnerving. He told us that there had been an accident and that our mom wasn't here anymore"

Donghyuck struggled to hold his tears back and took a deep breath that stung his throat like it had been raw from strain,

"I didn't believe him. I was furious. I called him a liar and that my mom was fine. That she was at home, waiting for me to get back. I told them that they had the wrong kid and that nothing bad would ever happen to my mom. The officer kept trying to say that he understood how I was feeling, but that I needed to accept the truth. Serim had to hold me back, because I tried to attack him…When I saw her face and saw that she was crying…I kept begging her to agree with me. I kept asking her if she thought he was really telling the truth. When she said she believed him, I got so mad and started yelling at her. I said she was stupid and didn't know what she was talking about. God, it wasn't fair to Serim, she'd already lost one mother and now two…Eventually, I calmed down long enough to hug her and we just cried our hearts out. I had never cried that much before. All I could do was think of my mom's smile and how she always made sure to let me know she loves me. I remembered she always smelled like sunshine and the breeze on a summer day and that I would never smell that scent again. I'd never see her smiling face again"

He smiled sorrowfully as the memories came flooding back. This time he couldn't stop the tears from rolling down his face into Mark's lap,

"They said it was a car accident. My mom and dad were together from what they could tell, going somewhere but I couldn't tell you where. The car lost control and ran off the road, my mom's side, the passenger's side, collided with a tree and she died instantaneously. They don't know what happened to my dad. His body was nowhere to be found and he never came back"

Donghyuck felt anger bubbling up in his chest at the thought. He knew his dad wasn't dead and he knew he would never forgive the man for abandoning them.

"After the funeral, we stayed with a distant uncle for a few years. He was a drunk and once Serim got old enough to work, she went straight to work and filed for emancipation.  Once they granted it to her, the uncle could care less if I followed her, so I left"

Donghyuck sat up and looked at Mark, who began to swipe his thumb over the tears that were rolling down Donghyuck's cheeks.

Donghyuck curled up into Mark, resting his head on the older's chest and relaxed as Mark wrapped an arm around his shoulders.

"I miss her. I miss her so god damn much. She was my light. I miss her getting on to me about fighting or leaving my plate on the table. I miss how she would tease me about not being as helpful as Serim. The world disappeared when she held me in her arms while quietly singing lullabies. Oh god, I just wish she were here still. I would give anything just to hear her laugh again. It's not fair…"

Mark held him while he cried, stroking his hair, and periodically whispering that it was okay and that he was there.

Donghyuck lost track of time and when he finally pulled away from Mark, his nose was running and he had to breathe through his mouth because he couldn't breathe through his nose at all.

Mark's shirt was soaked with Donghyuck's tears and snot and he began apologizing profusely as stared at the mess he made.

Mark was sure to be mad and disgusted with him now, but as Donghyuck was apologizing over and over, Mark stopped him.

"Donghyuck, it's okay. It's alright. The shirt can be washed, don't worry about it, okay?"

Mark leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss on Donghyuck's cheek before getting up from the couch to go to his bedroom.

A few minutes later, Mark came out with a clean shirt on and curled up on the couch next to him. Donghyuck had cleaned up the mess that his face was making earlier and was glad that Mark wasn't mad.

He leaned to the side, placed his head on Mark's shoulder which in turn caused Mark to rest his head against Donghyuck's.

After a few minutes of mindlessly watching tv, Donghyuck spoke up, "I miss her so much"

He felt Mark shift his head to place a kiss on the top of Donghyuck's head before going back to the same position,

"I know, Donghyuck. She was your mother and you loved her a lot. 'Mother is God in the eyes of a child'."

Donghyuck looked up at Mark with a small smirk, "Did you literally just quote Silent Hill?"

Mark glanced down at him before going back to watching the tv and shrugging his shoulders,

"What? It's relevant and I think it's true. Got a problem with it?"

Donghyuck chuckled lightly and went back to watching the tv, as well, "No, no problem at all"

"Good, because if you did, I'd force you to watch Barney for the next 5 hours"

Donghyuck grimaced and shook his head, "No, thank you. Anything but that"

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine.

You make me happy, when skies are grey.

You'll never know, dear, how much I love you.

So please, don't take my sunshine away.