~~~ CHAPTER 18 - PHOBIA ~~~

"Thank you so much," I said to Dylan when I spotted him with Nigel and his company after I went to the comfort room. Nigel was discussing something to all the guys when I joined the group --- something about sugar as one of the Sarmiento Corporation's biggest export products.

Dylan gave me his angelic smile again. What was with him and his smile?

"So if you're an intern in the main office, why are you here?" I whispered to him so as not to distract the other men's discussion.

"I'm currently writing my narrative report and, I believe, it'd be much more interesting if I include my visits to the President's several manufacturing areas. I major in economics and my knowledge on trade and industry would be very essential to my future career plan," he explained also whispering.

"Wow! Impressive!" I uttered totally impressed with him.

"Thank you," he stated. "By the way, I didn't quite expect that the señorita is indeed as young as you are."

We smiled at each other.

I caught sight of Nigel looking at me with a weird expression in his face. I didn't mind him and continued talking with Dylan.

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"Having fun?" I heard Nigel from behind me as I treaded the pathway to the parking area where our car was waiting.

When I turned around, I saw him walking alone. I wondered where could Stella be. Finally, the bitch was out of sight.

"So where's your girlfriend?"

"CR," he said as he came closer to me, "So, I believe, you were having fun with Fernandez?"

Fernandez? Oh, yeah, Dylan...

"Guess, I was just lucky having someone to talk," I said honestly. I was supposed to be the one clinging in his arm and talking to him all throughout the tour in the factory. "I don't know why you're always hurting me," I whispered to myself but it was loud enough for him to hear. "Why do you have to bring that girl with us?"

He smirked, "Are you jealous, princess?"

"I don't know how to put it into words. If you'll call it jealousy, then call it jealousy," I said trying to prevent my tears from falling.

I span around to go ahead of him but he instantly gripped my arm.

"Giving up now?" he asked meaningfully.

Immediately, I grasped what he meant. He was referring to our engagement.

"Giving up is never an option to me," I answered confidently.

"Even if I'm dating Stella?" He said searching my eyes for any hint of lie, perhaps. He seemed not convinced with my statement.

"Even if you're dating with a lot of girls, I don't care. I'm still marrying you."

"Seriously?" he asked while gripping my wrist even harder.

"Yes," I stared at his face which was about five inches away from mine.

"Well, then, let's see..." A smile formed in his lips as he released my arm. "Let's see how long you will endure this, princess."

I took a deep breath and met his eyes. "The love I have for you," I pointed my left chest with my right forefinger, "is something that you can't ever imagine. So please, if you have a heart, can you at least try to feel it?"

Nigel chuckled at what I said. My heart was like pierced a thousand times with the way he reacted. He was not taking my statements seriously.

"That was just so corny," he mused. "But, know what, I don't really have a heart. Isn't it still obvious?"

Yeah, why couldn't my stupid heart feel how heartless this man was? Why couldn't I just walk away from him and live a life of my own? Why couldn't I just give a damn? Why couldn't I?

I became speechless. Instead, I let the tears to fall down through my cheeks.

Suddenly, a realization hit me big time. No, I couldn't be a cry-baby all my life. I had to learn how to fight.

"I'll tell mom the wedding has to be ASAP!" It was something that I didn't plan to say. It just came out so naturally from my mouth that even I myself was unprepared to listen.

"What?" was Nigel's shocked reaction. Once again, he found my wrist and gripped it really hard that the tingling pain traveled quickly to my arm and went straight to my chest. I felt I had no more air to breath. But my mind told me to fight. Probably, that Maria Stella stirred the will in me to claim what was rightfully mine. Nigel only belonged to me.

"Yeah, I'm going to tell mommy that she has to set the wedding soon!" I said faking my confidence.

Oh, what have I just said? Am I going crazy now?

"Are you crazy?" He burst out in total anger. This time, he shoved both of my shoulders. He definitely was not expecting what I just said.

I don't know. I'm asking the same question. Can you answer it for me, Nigel?

He very well knew that whatever I would tell Mommy Carol, she would always grant my wish no matter what the cost would be. Sensing that I had no intention of answering him, Nigel pushed me away too painfully.

I nearly lost my balance but I managed to remain my stance. "You're so brutal, do you know that?" I spat at him as I brushed the tears from my eyes.

"And you're the craziest person I've ever met," he said glaring daggers into my face.

His facial expression reminded me of that time when our engagement was announced by mom five years ago. He looked quite shocked, horrified... and angry.

I stared at his eyes, pleading him to be more discernible to my feelings. My abundant tears, on the other hand, flowed down freely on my cheeks.

"You will never win this, Althea. Never. I will make it one hundred and one percent sure," he said, later, in his signature icy insensible tone. The weird thing was, in that icy tone, a surge of confidence was evident. And that all-too-apparent confidence was sealed with a sarcastic glare.

"One hundred and one percent sure?" I echoed him totally confused. Why did he appear so sure when he said I would never win this. When he said he would never marry me, did he really mean it? Was I only faking to myself every time I'd feel that he also had feelings for me? In just an instant, my strength and my sense of hope crumbled bit by bit into a million pieces. It was unbelievably replaced with fear... fear that, in the future, he would never ever be mine. My hands shook at my sides. I had to clench both of them to control them from tottering.

Yeah, how long would I endure all of this?

"D-do you want me to give up now?" I asked Nigel, searching for a clue if fighting till the end would all be worth it.

There was a gleam of surprise in his eyes the moment he heard my question... and, boy, was I also seeing fear in those piercing yet beautiful pair of eyes?

Fear? Of what?

He batted his lashes several times. It was like he couldn't believe what I had just asked. His forehead wrinkled.

"Honey!" A voice broke in suddenly. When I turned to the source of that voice, I saw Stella. Dylan was walking with her.

"Your girlfriend's here. She might suspect we're having a lovers' quarrel. I bet you can't afford to let that happen so I'll go ahead." I walked towards the car leaving him behind.

I still felt tears in my cheeks. Slowly, I wiped them away with my fingers.

Are you kidding yourself, Althea? Giving up, really? I thought to myself.

Just when I was about to reach the car, Dylan Fernandez walked past me and opened the backseat for me. I gave him a languid smile, "Thank you."

"Are you okay?" Dylan asked. So, he sensed my withdrawn attitude.

Was I too obvious with my current pain?

"I'm good," I said forcing again a smile. "Thanks."

I entered the backseat. Dylan smiled and said, "Take care," before closing the door for me.

"Bye," I said.

Several minutes after, the lovebirds arrived. Nigel opened the front seat for Stella before he went to his own seat.

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About an hour later, we were on the road again. The three of us were back to our old seating arrangement in the car. Stella was still in the passenger seat beside Nigel who was driving the car. I really thought that we were already heading back to the city but, to my chagrin, I learned that we were heading on to another direction which was kind of unfamiliar to me. I heard from their conversation that we were to go to a site that Nigel had just bought and where he would locate a new manufacturing structure. So he was really serious in expanding the Sarmiento Corporation.

The two were occupied in their conversation while I managed to calm myself down about the long travel. The conversation that I shared with Nigel earlier didn't leave my mind though. No matter how I tried to disregard the pain in my heart, I couldn't just do it.

Should I really give up now?

Not long after, I observed the change of speed in Nigel's maneuvering of the car. It was going faster than its previous speed. I heard he was trying to catch up lunchtime.

Internally, I was beginning to worry. I always hated fast travel. It always had that weird effect on me. So, as expected, this was not going to be a joyride.

Oh, here I was again. The crazy speed just bothered me so much.
Why can't you slow down a little bit, Nigel? You're driving me mad. I wanted to shout at him but I didn't want to appear too fearful. If so, he would just remind me of my being childish. I didn't want him to have that impression of me anymore.

He didn't know anything about my phobia in long-distance traveling. If I would tell him, would he understand anyway? I bet, he would just mock me, and again, remind me of my being childish. I had already suffered a lot of insults from him today. Could I afford to suffer another?

So, in spite of all the fears within me, I kept my mouth shut.

Way to be brave, Althea.

However, no matter how I really tried, especially when he maneuvered the car even faster, I couldn't help myself from freaking out in the inside. This time, I totally needed a warm hand in mine to assure me that everything was going to be fine just like what Mommy Carol always did when we traveled together. I thought I couldn't make it any longer.

Mom, where are you?

Suddenly, I saw a car behind ours as I turned my head around. It was running freaking fast. I guessed its driver was planning to overtake our car. Oh, no! I thought I had seen this scenario before. Oh, no, the car behind us was speeding really fast. This was not going to be good... Yes, definitely I had already seen this scene before...

A car was about to overtake the car that my papa was driving. Mama was at the passenger seat beside papa. I was at the back seat alone holding my favorite dolly. I was even humming my favorite nursery rhyme. It was supposed to be a happy scene --- papa was whispering words of love to her favorite woman in the world; mama was smiling at her. The sight of them together loving and expressing their devotion to each other mesmerized the young heart in me. Someday, I secretly told myself that I'd also be marrying the man I'd love. Suddenly, this car behind us screeching in high speed bumped the side of our car as it tried to make its way in overtaking us.

I screamed fearfully and, then, everything around me went blank.

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"What happened?" I asked as I looked around.

I was on a bed surrounded with draperies. There was nobody around except Nigel who was standing at the side of the bed. Our eyes met instantly.

"What happened?" I repeated. "Where are we?"

"ER." His voice seemed strained with anxiety.

"Hospital?" I asked in total confusion. I couldn't remember what happened.

He nodded.

"Why? Why am I on a hospital bed?" I tried to rise up from where I lay but Nigel pushed me back in a tender manner. "What happened to me?"

"You lost consciousness," he replied as he placed my head on the pillow. Again, his hands did it so tenderly that my heart fluttered like butterfly's wings.

Lost consciousness?

Then, I remembered what happened. I passed out when a car went past us. That car reminded me of the accident. Oh, God! I had been so stupid. And Nigel brought me to the hospital!

"I'm already doing okay. Can we go home now?" I begged.

Nigel paused for a little while as he surveyed my face.

"Can't we just go home?" I begged for the second time.

"No. Not until I learn what exactly is wrong. That's why, I'm gonna submit you to lab exams." He gulped something and his adam's apple moved in his throat.

"Lab exams? No, I'm not submitting myself to any lab exam. I'm alright, Nigel."

"Then, tell me, what was the matter back there, Althea? Why did you scream at the back seat? And why did you pass out? Tell me why."

"Nothing's the matter with me," I lied. I didn't want him to know that my phobia in traveling was sucking the life in me. I didn't want him to know my biggest weakness. There was no way for me to open up to him about it now. I was not yet ready. Opening up to him would mean delving on my horrible past. He only knew about the accident but he didn't know that its horrendous effect on me was a shadow that had been stuck with me for ten years already.

And, by the way, why did he appear so concerned? Was I important to him? Here I went again, hoping against hope that I was important to this heartless man. Did he just not tell me that he was one hundred and one percent sure that he was not to marry me?

"Just tell me, please, why did you faint?" he asked again as he held my left forearm.

I rattled at his touch. It was warm, tensive, and firm.

"I d-don't know... I guess I was kind of starving already. I felt my tummy was in trouble and then... everything went blank..." I kind of hesitated but I managed to continue in order to make up an alibi. Well, my tummy had actually been growling from the moment I woke up.

"Oh, Althea!" he exclaimed as he scooped me in his arms, catching me by surprise. In bridal style, he carried me in his arms and swung the draperies as we went outside that emergency compartment. Moving with great strides, Nigel marched towards the exit.

"Where are you bringing me?" I yelped. I could feel everyone's eyes were on us.

A nurse who I presumed was also shocked followed us. "Sir, anything wrong?"

Nigel shook his head and said to her, "I'm sorry but I'm no longer admitting her."

"Are we going home?" I asked.

"No, I'm taking you to lunch," he said firmly.

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A/N

This is it! He's starting to show it... Who's happy?

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