I was married for 3 months before we separated. It wasn't my decision. It was his decision. He was done living with a cold heartless wife who treated him like a pet. It was his own word.

"If you were to treat me like this, why did you marry me?!"

Kee screamed at me when I told him I agreed with him to be separated. He said it sarcastically to make me emotional. But I felt nothing.

"You asked me to marry you."

I told him straight in his face with no feeling.

"If I refuse, you will continue to do that anyway." "What did I do wrong? Why did you do this to me?" "I just never love you."

"Who do you love?"

It was an easy question but I could only shut my lip tight and folded my arms as if I wanted to protect myself. Kee was angry with my attitude. He rushed in angrily, wanting to have sex. This kind of man thought that when we fought, sex would help. It could only work with some people. I could be like that too. But with only one person. I played along with him and laid down stiff on the bed. I let him do whatever he wanted. But it wasn't long before he finally gave up and surrendered.

"Who the hell is he? The man you love,tell me!" "What would it do if I told you?"

I sat up and folded my arms again. I looked at the angry man in front of me.

"Will it really help?"

"At least I know who my enemy is, who is in my way." "No, you don't want to know."

"Yes, I wanted to know." "Just a little girl."

I got up and looked him in the eyes.

"The only girl in the world who I will never stop loving."

I remembered his eyes on that day. A nice man's soul was crushed into pieces after I told him the truth. Men had a strange ego. If their heart enemy was women, they would be boiling angry. When I fold him that, he couldn't believe it and thought I lied to him. He thought I wanted to just torture him.

"If you don't believe me, it's your choice. But let's get a divorce."

We separated and I flew back to Thailand. Kee was angry with me. It took him 3 years to finish the document process. My family did not understand what happened, and why my marriage failed so fast. My father lost a good friend because he and his son couldn't get along. We had to return half of the dowry because I told my family that....

"It was my fault, please give it back."

No one ever knew my reasons, why, and how it ended up like this. Kee might be embarrassed for not keeping me over a little girl. We split and never had any physical or mental relationships again. The document process was dragged along until Kee found a new woman and agreed to officially divorce me. He gave me half of his money even though he did not have to.

"Pam, I don't understand. You just got married. Why do you separate so fast?"

"Praew, you told me to date someone else." I looked at my eldest sister anxiously.

"I tried and even got married, it did not help at all." "Why do you separate with him?"

"I did not love him."

"Why did you get married?"

"You told me a rebound would help. I tried and here is the result. Everybody gets hurt."

I pinched myself hard for hurting Kee and myself. I destroyed everyone. To hurt a third innocent person was a bad idea. If I could turn back time, I wouldn't do it.

"Who was it? Who could throw you off balance like this?"

"Why does everybody have to ask about that person? It was my fault!"

I said with tears full in my eyes, thinking back to everything from Kawee, to Kee, men who I destroyed.

"I did not want to fight. I am only worried about you."

I finally received the money from Kee which took almost 3 years. I left home and found a new place to live. The place that wasn't Bangkok. The place where I could live quietly and disappear from the world. Everyone in my family disagreed and begged me not to go. But I made up my mind, so they let me be. I took that money and opened a community clinic in a quiet city.There were not so many people, with a low cost of living. People here like quiet lives. I did not have to worry when talking to anyone here. I rented a small cozy house. It was not luxurious but it was enough to offer me peace and quiet. I liked the place where I could smell a flower from outside when I read books. It was a nice warm feeling. In the morning, a rooster of a neighbor woke me up. I woke up and went to work feeling content.

I stayed away from social networks online. I only had one chat to update and send my family some photos but I always looked at a name where I had my contact list.

Love❤

Even though we did not keep in touch. I could still see the update on her status. Someday she changed it to "I'm richhhhh." It made me wonder what kind of work or business she did. Someday she changed it to "Bored." It made me wonder what made her feel like that. Moving to the new place made me calm but full of loneliness. I did not have many friends. Most of my patients had a toothache, so I couldn't talk to them. My friends were my housekeeper and my admin whose name was Eui. She was a chatty girl who liked to talk.

Lately, I also had a regular visitor, a cute little boy. "Doctor Pam, you're beautiful."

The cute boy was around 9-10 years old. He always visited me after school. He was a normal-looking boy but very cheerful. He liked to quote some cheesy saying from movies or the internet. He thought it was a cool thing to do. I laughed when I heard them. His face beamed when I laughed with him.

"You'll love me someday."

"As long as you're a little boy, it would take a very long time for that to happen."

His first visit was a nightmare. He thought the dentist was a vampire. But once he was treated, he was a regular visitor since then.

"Did you already quit dessert?"

"If I quit, I will not have any problem. Then, I don't have an excuse to see you."

"You don't need a problem visiting me." "Really?..."

He said with some consideration.

"But it's a shame there was a free cake from that shop. Nothing better than eating a free cake and visiting a beautiful dentist. "

Smart kid. I laughed at his jokes and kept talking. "Why do they give out free cake?"

"I don't know but the owner there was very nice. She told me to see you too. She said you're beautiful and it was true."

"Vm?"

I looked at him with a puzzle. The owner of that shop knew me too. That meant she was my patient. I might recognize her if I saw her. There were not so many people in this community.

"You should visit that cake shop with me, I'll treat you." "You're so generous."

"I'll treat you whenever you want. I'm handsome and rich too."

"But I don't eat dessert. "

"How could we go out on a date then?" "If the timing is right, I'll go with you." "That 's great!"

I didn't mean to flirt with him but it made him smile. There were so many shops in this area that I wanted to explore. I forgot after that chat with him. I still opened and closed my clinic as scheduled. I made some profit or someday I didn't make anything. But I wasn't in trouble. One day I left for a convenience store, and I left my clinic with the housekeeper. I read a book in the shop for too long, I missed the visit of the boy who brought achocolate cake for me. I never liked dessert... "You can have it. I don't like dessert."

I told the housekeeper.

"The boy will be sad if he knew you did not eat the cake." "Tell him I ate it then."

"At least read the love letter, he wrote it with such beautiful handwriting. " "Yes?"

I laughed and picked up a bright colored piece of paper. My heart stopped like it was pulled out of my chest. I knew exactly whose handwriting that was.

"Time will tell how much I love you." "Are you ok, Pam?"

My hands trembled. I looked at the piece of paper and froze. The heavy feeling pressure on my chest. I couldn't talk. I covered my mouth with my hand and looked at the cake bag held by the housekeeper.

"Which shop was that from?"

"Might be from the new cake shop at the corner. It is a good one. There are dogs. don't run Pam!"

My heart beat so fast while I ran to the shop located at the corner. I had so many feelings in me; excitement, fear, happiness, and worry. My clinic and the new cake shops were around 500 meters away from each other. I looked at the shop and it reminded me immediately of someone's dream to own a shop like this.

"I'll open a coffee shop. There will be many delicious desserts. Everyone will eat at my shop but they will have to fix their teeth at your clinic. "

I almost fainted with weakness. I was too overwhelmed to stand up. The voice of the shop owner made my eyes full of tears. I recognized that voice. That voice "We're closed." The voice fell quiet and the owner poked out her face to see me. She looked at me in surprise too.

"Pam." Baby my love.

"It is YOU."

There was a girl who always loved me for 5 years without any distraction. Ruk, who now laid down next to me and listened to my story with full attention. For the past 5 years, more than 1,800 days, Shawty had been waiting for me. I felt like I wanted to explode. Ruk spent two years waiting for me and later received the bad news that I planned to get married. She still kept waiting hoping I may come back. She slowly weaved her dream, worked as a car salesman and saved money to build a coffee shop. She worked hard to save money for three years and in the meantime asked her friends to track my movement. She had waited for a total of 5 years for my return.

4 years was not a long time for other people. But for someone who had waited without knowing where it would end. It could be 8 or 10 years. It could be very different.

"Pam, you have been through a lot."

"You've been through a lot too, Ruk. You and your family were injured from what I did. "

"No, I wasn't hurt. Don't worry about it, I think it was good that we let time heal."

The little girl in front of me always took care of my feelings. The way she looked at me was pure love and adorable. I could never do anything that could upset her. She always loved me.

"Do you really think that?"

"Yes...if you gave in then when I cried. We both would face something worse than this. When I am angry with you, I might always blame you for Kawee's death. It's good that you disappeared. It made me realize how much I love you."

"Don't you feel something when you see me? What do you think about Kawee? Or my marriage...?"

I swallowed a big lump in my throat while thinking about what Shawty's bad to face. She got no explanation and was only determined to wait, she had to figure out what I did all that.

"Why don't you just quit?"

"You should know why I couldn't do that. In the past 5 years, you were married but you still have feelings for me."

"Because I love you." "I love you too, Pam."

I leaned into her for a hug while we both were lying on the bed. I wanted to tie her up with me to make sure that we would never grow apart again. It was like a dream I waited for. The dream I told myself would never happen. I ran away but she found me. I hid but Shawty searched for me.

No matter how hard I tried, I could never fight that. Even if there were 10 more people who had to die for our relationship, I was ready to sacrifice. It was such a torturous 5 years. I never knew what happiness was.

"Your heart beats so fast." "I must be excited."

"Me too. It is like a dream."

Shawty moved away and looked at me with a smile. "I think we have to fill those 5 years gap. "

I immediately understood the naughty look in her eyes. I laughed and suddenly rolled over to be on top of her.

"Oops!"

She cried with excitement and smiled naughtily. "What are you doing? That was my place!"

"It has been 5 years. Not so many things change but it doesn't mean nothing has changed."

"What has changed then?"

I smiled at the girl underneath me. She giggled and put her two arms around my neck loosely.

"You are so sexy without doing anything. Now I'm curious what you could do."

She said seductively.

"One night is not enough." "You are so lovely, Pam."

I would never let Shawty rest. I wanted to connect with her verbally and physically to fill the 5 year gap. My emptiness was filled by a little girl who was naughty, direct, and honest with her own feelings. She revived me again. I made up my mind that even if there were any problems in the future, I won't let her face them alone.

"You're much better, Pam."

Shawty panted. Her trembling voice made me want to touch her more. I thirsted for her. I looked at at he girl underneath me and thought that I could never feel like this with anybody.

"I love doing this with you again."

"If you love it so much, next time just tell me."

Ruk looked up at me and smiled. I touched my forehead on hers and said jokingly.

"I Love you."

"I'll let you do me all night."

"All night might not be enough for Our love..." U.S.