I moved out of my house. My parents didn't have any good reason to keep me in the house. I was more mature and had more responsibility. My parents gave me more money because my new dorm was more expensive. But I still worked a part-time job. Eak, the manager, still welcomed me back without any questions about what had happened before. Apart from the coffee shop, I still distributed pamphlets in a mascot suit for some money.

" I'll help you put your apron on. "

Pheme helped me with my apron while all the eyes of the new colleagues looked at us disappointedly. They had been eyeing him for a while. We never openly express our relationship but Pheme, instead, showed it to everyone

"Now we're working together again. It's nice to have you back here again. " " I don't think I'd have a chance if it weren't for you."

"The manager likes you here. Without you, the shop was so quiet" I looked at the manager knowing what had been missing.

"Pam never showed up?"

"She came here at the beginning when you left. But once she realized you quit the job, she never showed up here again. "

The manager didn't show but I knew he was sad. I looked at the manager and thought that anyone who had feelings for Pan was hurt. Her beauty was dangerous.

"Are you in contact with Pam? " "Ah, I barely talked to her."

"Were you two fighting?" "Not really, we still chat."

" If not, please invite her to the shop. I wanted to see the manager happy again."

She won't come even if I asked her to. We met at Kawee's wedding. After she sent me a text, I hadn't replied, I wanted to chat with her but I didn't think it was a good idea. It might pull me back to my pit. I'd rather keep things the way they were.

Pheme sent me home as usual. He alway walked me home, I was rather quiet today because I still thought about what Bua said. I was excited because I had made up my mind....I'll try it today!I had never done it before and I didn't know how he would react. I thought about what to say, how to invite him up to my room but something pulled me from behind. "We're here. Where are you going?"

I paused and looked around.

"You are a bit off today. Are you ok?"

I was so excited. My palms were wet. I wiped them off in my shirt like a kid cleaning up their mess. He looked at me curiously

"Is there something you wanted to talk to me about?"

"Do you want to spend a night with me? "

There I said it... It was such a simple sentence but it was so powerful that it stunned him. I can't believe it. The quieter he was, the more I wanted to faint.

" I would love to. "

I Think he was about to reject me I wanted to slap my face but before that he said.

"We missed a few steps before that, we should try something else first"

He stepped toward me and put his hands around my neck and leaned closer. "I'll kiss you."

"YYY ..Yes"

I replied reluctantly and shut my eyes and fought like a 4-year-old. The smell of Armani perfume made me know that he was so close. The soft moist lip pressed on my lip. I held my breath automatically.

This was my first kiss. No, this was my first kiss with him. The rough feeling over the lip and chin was from the mustache. That was very different from the kiss I had before. His thick hands pulled me in closer. But I pushed him out as I gasped for air because I was holding my breath.

"I'm sorry , sorry."

I panted as the tall gay chuckled and souled at me,

"You can't even handle a kiss but you asked me to spend a night? Don't jump to fast ahead"

"I wanted to move it forward. I wanted to reward you with something for being so nice to me."

I replied frankly and he burst out a laugh.

"You made me sound so pathetic. Oops! I shouldn't do that." He put his fingers on his lip like he realized something. "What happened?"

"I forgot it's not just us here." "Who else is here?"

I made sure there was no one here before we kissed but I got an answer when I saw a shadow from the corner of my eyes staring at us awkwardly. Blood drained from my face and jumped away from Pheme. We just kissed and nothing I can do.

"Pam."

I looked at him puzzledly.

"Wait, how do you know Pam was here? "

"The manager and I thought you and Pam are fighting. We wanted you two to talk it though, so I wanted to surprise you with that. But I forgot that she's here. We already kissed and showed the world."

He scratched his gace nervously and turned to where he thought Pam was. " I'm sorry, Pam. "

The vanilla smell that had more Influence over the crept in closer as form stepped out of the corner. I froze there with embarrassment, blood-shot through my face. But I realized I did nothing wrong. I just didn't want her to see this. I stared at Pheme angrily. It wasn't his fault but I was irrational at that point. Pheme looked concerned when he didn't see a smile on my face.

"Are you mad at me?" "No."

My sarcastic tone made the nice guy sighed. " I'm so sorry. "

"Forget about it. Let's pay attention to my surprise."

I looked at Pam reluctantly. I wasn't sure how I should look at her. The only thing I could do was smile.

"Hello, beautiful. How did you end up here?" "I told her to come,"

Pheme said. Deept quiet again because I really didn't like the surprise from him. Pheme decided to leave but before that, he whispered into my ears.

"This is why I can't spend a night with you, I'm a good guy. " " Yes. "

"I'm leaving. Whatever you two have, please fix it."

His good intention made Pam and I very uncomfortable. He finally left but we stood there in silence.

"I am surprised to see you here. We were just talking about you today. We haven't seen you at the coffee shop."

"Why would I go there if you are not there?"

"Do you have something to talk to me about? Why are you here?"

I cut through the point because hearing her sweet voice was such a torment. If only Pheme decided to spend a night, everything would be over. This stupid feeling will be washed away. I can have a clean slate with that nice gentleman. This wasn't in the plan. I was planning to spend time with the other man but ended up with another. God was so twisted. "I missed you, Ruk. "

This short lovely message was like nectar to my wilted heart. I can barely stand. The desire inside me, that I was planning something with Pheme, was now erupted in front of this beautiful face. "If you like someone, you wanted to touch them"

I thought I was over her but I was so wrong. "Are you here alone?"

"I'm always alone" "What about............... "

I paused when I thought about the other handsome woman. I'd rather not ask.

" Did you already have dinner? " " Yes. "

" Mmmm."

" Do you want to come up?"

I invited her just because I don't know what to say but my face turned red immediately.

"I just Invited you because there are so many mosquitos here. Don't think too far."

She smiled gently.

"Let's go! There's a lot of mosquitos here. "

This was so weird I was planning to invite a guy here but ended up with another. The atmosphere was hard to predict. She should be more careful if she knew I had feelings for her before came into my room. She didn't seem to worry at all. Did she want to prove something?

"I'm sorry, My room is messy. I just moved in here. My stuff is all over the place."

" It looks cozy like the old one.. "

I kneeled down on the floor while she sat on the mattress. There's nearly no difference between the old dorm and the new one. This was the same mattress that she sat on before. You were one lucky mattress. I must be so nervous to start talking to my furniture.

" Is your hair shorter? " " Yes,"

"I trimmed it off a bit and it started to grow back. How is it? Does it look as good as your other friends? "

I wanted to slap my face immediately after referring to that Mustang driver. I sounded jealous. Pam smiled a little and shook her head.

"Nah, Oat is cool but she is cute. It's a different style. " " Ok. "

Her name is Oat. She called her name like they were so close. Now I'm a bit upset, Just came back to reality.

"You come to see me here. Is there anything you wanted to talk to me about?"

It was a simple question but I felt like I made her uncomfortable. She smiled wearily and held back on something she wanted to say.

"Like I said I miss you."

"I thought you hated me? " "Because of that day?"

" Yes."

I said Frankly. I still felt embarrassed to get rejected like that. I should just sort it out with her now.

"I wanted to tell. " "I wanted to tell. "

We both said at the same time and felt silence. Pam gestured her hand toward me. She wanted me to talk first. I wanted her to talk first but we both had something to say anyway.

"I wanted to say I'm sorry for what I did. It must hurt you a lot. I think I was still young then. I can't distinguish between an impressive feeling and love. I thought it was love."

What I said was nonsense, But just to clear the air between us I should just be cleared with it.

"With Pheme, I now know what love is. Love shouldn't be between two women, right?"

"Right"

The beautiful face smiled agreeably. It hurt me even more to see that. "You and he seem to be happy together. I saw that."

"Yes, I'm sorry I made you uncomfortable for years. I was confused. I was a lost teenager. It must be my hormones. Please don't get offended"

I looked her in the eyes and tried to lie as best as I could. After a few seconds, her sweet eyes were watery and she started to cry like I had never seen before.

"I'm here to tell you I'm sorry. Why are you saying you're sorry?"

I felt shaken by this rare scene. Her tears rolled down her smooth cheeks.

"Don't cry Pam. I wanted to cry too."

I had a lump in my throat. If I keep talking, I'll be hysterical. The best thing is to keep quiet.

"I wanted to tell you that I didn't mean to be so mean to you. Every time I think about it. I felt regret and wanted to apologize to you, but I couldn't do it. I'm so sorry. And now you're saying you're sorry. I..."

The sweet face covered her whole face with her palms and cried out loud. It was so painful to see someone I loved hurt so bad. I saw her cry like that and wanted to hug her. But I was such a coward. I just told her that it was a mistake. If I hugged her again and I couldn't stop myself. The whole lie will be invalid.

" Ruk. "

But the other person didn't seem to have the same idea. She hugged me so tight and cried on my shoulder, I hugged her back to console her, our relationship can't be patched with a hug it showed trust. It was a double sword.

"Let's be friends again, sis. I promise I won't make you sad again" Pam didn't say anything but just nodded.

"I love you, sis" "I love you too."

I got my second chance back. It was an opportunity to be close, just being

close was more than enough for me. At least if I was a man, I wouldn't get a second chance.

This was good.