The wedding celebration was done, also almost a million bhat they spent on the event. They had a story to tell their child about how grand their wedding was. I understand people expected to marry once and they wanted it to be great. Finally my last name, Chaumpum, was one of the high classes in society, in exchange for a million baht. . Now it was time to send them into the room. It was the same they had made the baby in there. My parents did all the ceremonies like they hadn't done it traditionally. Everybody was so tired even I almost passed out. I can't imagine how tired the newly married couple must be. I don't think the couple could make a baby tonight. .. Oh, wait! The baby has already been made.

I was about to turn off the light when there was a knock on the door. Kawee pushes himself into my room when I open the door. He was still in his groom's suit and pulled out a flower iver his neck. " I am so tired. "

" You're in the wrong room. " I condemned him.

" I wanted to sleep. I am fucking tired. "

" Can I hang out with you a bit? I'm so bored. "

" What happened? You are supposed to be happy today. It was your big day. "

" It's not my happiness. I didn't want to get married. " " Why did you knocked her up then? "

I sat down next to him. We can talk openly about everything. " I just wanted to replace Pam with someone. "

The atmosphere changed immediately when the name came up. The name obviously had an impact on both of us. But I showed no sign and chuckled.

" Don't tell me you have a second thought after you saw Pam today? " " Yes. "

I was shocked to hear that. I looked around to make sure my sister-in-law didn't hear that.

" Think about the mother of your child before you say anything. " " There is no one else in this room. "

He said annoyingly.

" Seeing Pam today made me realize that I never stop loving her even though it has been years. Pam was beautiful and attractive as usual. I wanted her."

" Disgusting. " " What? "

I was so pissed hearing that. This was how Pam felt when a man looked at her like she was a sex object, even me can't stand that.

" You don't get it, you're not a man. It was hard to suppress your sexual desire. "

He covered his face like he was on the edge of depression again.

" Do you think we might still be together if I didn't take advantage of her? "

" I don't know. "

" If I can turn back time. I won't do it, I wanted to be near her. No need for physical contact. "

I realized I was looking into a mirror. This was me a year ago when I kissed her aggressively. I was full of lust, the feeling I can't brush off. If possible, I wouldn't do it. I'll nurture our sisterhood relationship. . . Just be near her.

Bing!!

My phone binged for an incoming message. My heart pounded once I saw the name on the screen. This name always had a power over me. It was so powerful to wash away my sadness once she called me a pervert.

[ Pam'my : I'm home. ]

Why did she just arrive home? Where did she go with that handsome tomboy, the owner of the supercar? I felt pain in my chest thinking about it. I have no right to be possessive.

" Who is that? Who can make you smile and upset at the same time? "

I quickly put down my phone and came back to the person I was chatting with.

" My friend. "

" That can't be a friend. Friends don't give you so many feelings in one text. Are you seeing someone? "

" Come on! "

" We are all grown up. "

" You are annoying. Get back to your room. I'm tired, I want to sleep. " I pushed my big brother out of the room. He was still reluctant to leave. " And don't disturb me tonight. Keep it down. "

" Keep it down? "

He had no clue what I was talking about, I decided to be direct and open.

" Whatever you did in there with your wife, I heard it all. Tell my in-law to keep her voice down. I'm a human being too but I have no partner to make it with. "

He was embarrassingly quiet and stunned.

" I wanted to move out because I can't stand both of you. Don't let your kid sleep in this room in the future. He or she will know about it. "

" Don't make up excuses. You want to move out because you want to hook up with guys. Most people do that when they move out. "

" You don't need to do that. You took the nurse to make a baby. " " You big mouth. "

" Just leave. "

I managed to push him out, he finally walked but still wanted to talk about Pam.

" My friend saw Pam leave with a tomboy and you were there too. Was this true? "

... Froze... My throat dried thinking about it.

" I guess. "

" Do you think she is dating a woman after breaking up with me? " " No, not like that. "

" How do you know? " " I just know. "

If that was true, she would be dating me right now. I'm the closest woman to her. We were so close we could kiss but If that was true I won't be called.

. .. Pervert...

" If I knew she broke up with me because of a woman. I'll kill both of them"

I was now upset and wanted him out.

" Why kill them? You now are a married man with a baby on the way. "

" Everytime I have sex with Koi I still think of Pam. I never stop loving her. I can't stand if she dumped me because of another woman. What a pervert! "

Bang!!

I shut the door on his face. It was so painful, like he pierced a hot, sharp iron into my heart. I thought my country was open enough to accept the third, fourth, and fifth gender. People still condemn the same sex relationship.

" I'm not done talking. "

Kawee opened the door again but backed off when he saw my face. " I'm leaving but let me finish this. "

" What? "

" Thanks for inviting her today. " " I'm.. "

" Goodnight. "

I was confused. I thought Pam was there because Kawee invited her. But he thought I invited her. Who invited her If none of us did? . .

Many days after that. I moved my stuff out to go to my new dorm. Pheme and Titang were there to help. My parents knew about Pheme and they never opposed it. My mom even commented that he will make a good baby because he was a good looking guy. My dad didn't hate him but he didn't show any support. He always sent an intimidating look when Pheme chatted with me. He just didn't want things to be too easy, I assumed.

My new dorm was not too far from my old one. Many people asked why did I move in the first place. The reason I told everybody was I wanted to be near my brother who needed help at that time. Only Titang and I knew that the true reason was Pam. I still hope Pam might come back. It's possible to hope that she might come back someday. I knew Pam that when she rejected someone, she never returned. Once the decision was made, It was done. But deep down I still hope, and that wasn't healthy. I know she will never come to my house.

But Kawee and his wife are expecting a baby. The house was not big enough for me anymore. I needed to focus on my studies. Moving out seemed to be the best answer. Living alone again is such a sweet freedom.

" You're hubby is very diligent. Why don't you move in together? "

Bua, who also came to help, looked at my friends carrying my stuff. She seemed to be interested in talking more than helping.

" Who can live life so easy like you? "

" Come on! We're grown up. Life is short, seize the day. University students mostly live as a couple. "

" Well, Pheme and I are not there yet. "

" Everybody thinks both of you are a couple. " " We still don't have the answer. "

Bua made a face in disbelief like she read a gossip column of celebrities who denied a relationship despite a photo of them holding hands, strong evidence from a paparazzi in a magazine.

" Why do act like a celebrity? To save face If it doesn't work out? "

" I am not a celebrity. I never kissed, let alone have sex together. I can't say we're a couple. "

" What's holding you back? " " Nothing. "

" What are you waiting for? " " Just hook up with him. "

" Are you out of your mind? "

" Poor guy, he follows you around like a puppy. He doesn't have any hope. You're so mean. "

" Hope for what? " " Fuck him. "

" !@#$%. "

I tried not to upset her. She never went far from the area under the belly.

" Can we date without having sex? " " That means you don't like him. "

I paused and looked at her. " Why did you say that? "

" If you like someone, you want to be touched, feel, cuddle, and be near, but then feel disgusted. I had to give up that feeling. "

" I'll try. "

" What? "

Bua looked at me with her sparkling eyes like she found something fun. " What do you want to try? "

" Touch him. "

I walked into Pheme who was now carrying stuff. " Let me help. "

I will give it a try.