Felix
Finally, the long-awaited trailer arrived. The project of Chan and Hyunjin. With all band members we watched the trailer.
*Fuck was he hot!*
The video was that fucking sexy, I had to suppress my nasty thoughts. I didn't want to get caught with an erection.
Seeing the long haired tied up like that, writhing in bed, didn't leave me cold and I slid around restlessly on the chair. Fortunately, I had put on a too large hoodie, with which I could cover my crotch.
There was no way I could watch the video alone. It would only end up like with Play with fire....
When the trailer was over, we discussed a bit and then went about our business.
Actually, this was the perfect moment to talk to Hyunjin, but I didn't know how.
*How do you start such a conversation? I can't say, "Hey Jinni! Let's talk about how you gave me a blow job and I liked it!"*.
I was deep in thought but then I was startled when I felt a hand on my shoulder.
I looked up and caught sight of familiar dark eyes with a small dot under the left.
"Are you okay? You seem so absent?" he asked.
I rasped, this was my chance:
"Ehm, yeah sure. Jinnie...can we talk for a sec?"
"Yeah sure!" he said a little surprised.
We walked to my room, as Chan had retired for his songs and Changbin was headed to the gym.
Once there, my courage deserted me again, but I couldn't put it off any longer.
The older noticed my discomfort and tried to lighten the situation a bit, but didn't realize he was doing the opposite:
"Hey Felix, how did you like the trailer? Shall we watch it again?" he said, already pulling out his cell phone.
Since I could hardly say no, we sat down on my bed and he started the video again.
I hoped that the second time I was prepared for what I saw in the video, but you couldn't prepare for something like that.
Again, the heat rose as I saw him tied up and rolling on the bed.
I inconspicuously tried to pull the hoodie hiding my crotch. Chan was right. My body was reacting too strongly to him.
I noticed his gaze on me and looked at him as well. When our eyes met, the air tangibly began to crackle and I was caught in his eyes.
Gently, he stroked a strand behind my ear.
"What did you want to talk to me about?" he almost whispered.
Hyunjin
While we were watching the trailer together with the band members, I kept looking at Felix. I wanted to see his reaction. I noticed how his cheeks turned pink and he tried to pull his hoodie down inconspicuously.
And there it was. My desired reaction. First and foremost, I was grateful for any physical reactions because they were visible. I had to worry about the emotional ones later.
After the trailer was finished and we had finished discussing, Felix continued to sit in his chair. Completely lost in his thoughts, he hadn't noticed that everyone but me had left.
"Are you okay? You seem so absent-minded," I asked him.
"Um, yeah sure. Jinnie...can we talk for a sec?"
Surprised, I said yes, and immediately my mind started spinning.
*Why does he suddenly want to talk to me? Should I take this opportunity to talk about my feelings too? Or first I'll hear what he has to say.
His room was convenient since his roommates were gone. When we were in the room, I noticed how stressed he was about the situation, so I tried to offer some distraction and suggested watching the video again. I was hoping the video would get his mind going in the right direction before he wanted to talk to me and influence him in a positive way.
We sat down on his bed and watched the trailer again on my phone.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Felix tugging at his hoodie again and turned my head to look him in the face.
He noticed my look and turned his head to me as well. I immediately got lost in those beautiful eyes and brushed a strand from his handsome face.
"What did you want to talk to me about?", I asked him quietly, since he had probably lost the thread.
He took a deep breath and finally began the explanation I had been longing for.
"I don't know where to start. It's so difficult, but I have to get this off my chest now," he began, continuing to look me in the eye. To encourage him, I took his hands in mine. At first he was surprised, but then he smiled gently.
This was one of the reasons I had feelings for him. He was a ray of sunshine and his smile warmed my heart.
"I can't shake the feeling that I've always been in your face until now, and I'm sorry for that. Maybe I'm just imagining it, but your advances and then you giving me...you know...make me think you care about me. This whole situation is so new to me and until now I didn't know I could react to a man like this. You don't go by me without a trace and I know there's something there, but I don't know yet," finally it was out.
I had listened to him intently and after he finished speaking I squeezed his hands briefly.
"Lixie. You didn't throw me under the bus, and you're not imagining things. If my words hurt you in any way, I'm sorry too, because the last thing I want to do is hurting you. In the beginning I wanted to see if I would get a reaction from you and the way you reacted to my closeness was incredibly sweet. That's why I tried to get closer to you and elicit those reactions from you. In no way did I ever have bad intentions and even more I don't do such things without any feelings...", I confessed to him.
My words surprised him, because he widened his eyes.
"Y-you... have feelings for me?" came incredulously from the little one.
"Yes, Lixie... Do you think I could just blow anyone like that?", I asked him slightly amused, which made him look sheepishly at our still intertwined fingers.
"I thought it might just be physical..." he confessed to me.
"And... what about you?", now it was my turn to know what was going on.
"Huh?" was all he went on.
"Do you have feelings for me?", I asked him patiently.
He took his time with the answer, which almost drove me crazy and what I got to hear was also not quite what I had hoped for, but it was a start:
"I... I don't know... Something like this is still so new to me. I can't deny that I and especially my body reacts to you and I like you at least as a friend. However, I don't know how far these feelings go and I still have to find myself first. Do you understand? I need some time to find out what I want and who I am. I thought until recently that Lee Felix was into women and now I'm attracted to you..." he tried to explain to me and I understood him.
Shit, for me it was also rather something new and I had to cope with it, but I actually knew before or had the assumption that I am into both sexes. Therefore, it was not such a big surprise for me to fall for the little blond with freckles.
"I'll give you all the time in the world, of course. Whereas, I'd be relieved if it didn't take quite so long anyway," I winked at him when he looked up, eliciting another small smile.
"But what does that mean for our interactions? What do you expect or want from me?", I asked him, to which he replied, somewhat panicked, that he didn't know.
"Do you want me to stay away from you then?"
"No!" he almost shouted, slapping a hand over his mouth.
"Then...may I?", I leaned in and gently took his hand from his lips.
My gaze lingered on the heart-shaped lips and I approached them slowly, giving him a chance to stop me. I looked up again and saw that he had already closed his eyes. I directed my gaze one last time to his lips, which had parted a little, and gently placed mine on his.
It was an innocent kiss and we moved our lips only tentatively. His lips felt warm and soft. The kiss made me shiver. Unlike our wild kisses, this one was much more meaningful and soulful.
Reluctantly, I broke away from him to catch my breath and opened my eyes. He opened them too, his cheeks softly pink.
Although I no longer expected an answer, he breathed a "yes," and began to grin.
Finally, we both burst out laughing and all tension was released from our shoulders.
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