Lachlan

I spent years avoiding the supernatural – years – so it felt extremely ironic to find I'd been unknowingly dating one. And making out with him every chance I got.

Oh, I wouldn't touch my own family, but I'd let a werewolf stick his tongue in my mouth. Repeatedly. The inconsistency was disturbing, to say the least.

And poor Magnus. If this weren't literally my worst nightmare, I wanted to believe I would be handling the news better. Instead, I shut down and cried. The pain he felt was evident, and I could see how he struggled against the need to comfort me. Magnus was such a good guy, such a giving soul, that it had to be especially tough for him to sit back and watch my pain.

And now he was staring at me with his heart in his eyes and such conflict on his face that I almost – almost – hurt more for him than for myself.

I had a zero-tolerance rule for dating the supernatural. Looking at Magnus, I badly wanted to break that rule, but how could I? I liked him a lot, more than I ever thought was possible, but every time we touched, I risked my humanity. The odds of accidentally being transformed were low, but not nearly low enough. Yet here I was, holding his hand because it had hurt too much to stay away. The implications of that were deeply disturbing.

"There's more," Magnus said.

I had been too deep in my own thoughts and I jolted when he spoke. Then his words registered and the fear took me over again.

What more could there possibly be? Was it not enough to tell me he was a different species?

"We could talk about it later," Magnus said, "but I think you have some decisions to make and you don't have all the information you need to make them."

He didn't know the half of it. Magnus had yet to ask a very important question: how did the transformation work? What triggered it? It was comforting that he hadn't asked since it reinforced my belief that he wasn't going to force a change on me.

I shook off those thoughts. Magnus was asking me to listen and I would give him that much. It might be all I could give him. "Go on," I said.

Magnus gently played with my fingers and for the first time today, he didn't meet my eyes when he spoke. "Do you know much about werewolves?"

"No, not really. Just that they exist. You're actually the first I've met, as far as I know."

"Okay. Well, there's the obvious, of course, which is that we can change into wolves. We have heightened hearing, sight, and smell. We're fast and strong. But what I need to tell you about are the bonds. Werewolves are bond-driven creatures. The broadest bond – and the least personal – is a pack bond. Almost all werewolves live in packs, or at least in big family units. It's instinct. Then there are familial bonds. They're so deeply rooted that contact with a close relation or even just being near their scent is a powerful thing. It fulfills a crucial need. Werewolves without families will create their own, building up a network of close friends to fill the void. That would be in addition to the support of a pack. Bonds are everything to us."

Magnus finally looked up, his eyes scanning my face. I nodded to show I was following, and he looked down again. "The last category of bond – and the most precious – is a mating bond. Everyone in the world has a soulmate, Lachlan. The true power of a werewolf isn't that we can shift – it's that we can identify our soulmate."

Magnus' fingers tightened around mine, so hard it stung. I could see where he was going with this – where I thought he was going with this – and was too busy thinking through the ramifications to care what happened to my hand.

Magnus had said there was more I needed to know in order to make a decision. He was telling me about bonds for a reason. I obviously wasn't part of his pack or family. That left only one possibility I could see.

Magnus glanced up again, and this time his eyes darted away from mine before he brought them back. He was so nervous that my heart raced just looking at him, or maybe that was my own nerves coming into play. He opened his mouth for a moment before he snapped it shut.

"Say it," I said in the gentlest voice I could manage.

Magnus met my eyes again and managed to hold my gaze this time. "You're my soulmate, Lachlan. And I'm yours."

Once the words were out, Magnus squeezed his eyes shut. It was a testament to the way I felt about him that I was able to appreciate how adorable he was in this moment even as my mind reeled.

What he was telling me should have been unbelievable, but I believed him. That instant, easy connection between us... the way I had trusted him so quickly, letting him touch me before I had my cousins check his species... the very fact that I was still here even though it broke all of my most sacred rules, all of these things added weight to Magnus' words. Still, I needed to know more. "How do you know?"

"It's a scent thing," he said, cautiously opening one eye to peek at me. I couldn't help smiling at him. How could he be so cute at a time like this? "I caught your scent and knew you were my mate. I followed it to the café that day."

I thought back over our first meeting. He had stridden into the café like he was on a mission. He had looked around and as soon as he saw me, he had headed right over. It was odd to fit the knowledge that he had been there looking for me specifically, following my scent, to the memory... but it did fit.

Magnus' hand squeezed mine. "Touching you also feels different than touching anyone else does. I've heard from other human mates that they can feel it too."

Touching him did feel different. I always thought that was in my head.

I leaned back while I assimilated everything he had told me. My boyfriend was a werewolf and he was more than just a boyfriend. He was my soulmate.

And didn't that change everything?

I had always been dead set against transforming, clinging to my humanity like a security blanket. After the way my mother was transformed when I was a kid, I was terrified of something similar happening to me. Even before I lost Mom, she had frequently stressed the importance of keeping my humanity. She regularly made me promise I wouldn't transform without really understanding what I was getting myself into and without giving the decision due time. It couldn't be because I thought a species was cool or because I wanted to be with someone. Relationships died, she said, and then you were stuck in a body you never wanted with no way back.

But Magnus was my soulmate. The rule didn't really seem to apply here.

I let go of his hand and hurt flashed across Magnus' face. The need to comfort him overtook all of my rules and reservations and I moved closer to him so I could cup his cheeks in my palms and gently turn his head so he was looking at me. "Hey," I said. "I'm still here."

Magnus nodded and I let my hands drop but stayed where I was. Our legs were pressed together and it finally felt like we were sharing the same space again. "So...," I said, "what does this mean?"

"That's really up to you," Magnus said. "I won't push you into anything."

I couldn't help smiling at that. What had I ever done to deserve Magnus? I must have been a saint in another lifetime to have been paired with him now. "Let me rephrase: where do you want to go from here?"

His eyes searched mine and I knew he was taking the question very seriously. "Full disclosure?" he asked, licking his lips.

I badly wanted to kiss him, but when I bit my lip earlier, I broke the skin. No kissing until some kind of decision was reached, then. "Please."

"I want us to be together. I want us to seal our mate bond. That's not something we should rush into, though. I'm ready whenever you are, but you need to be really sure because it's permanent. There's no breaking up once the bond is sealed."

"Back up. I need some kind of explanation here."

Magnus sucked a lip into his mouth while he thought and I cursed myself for the small cut on my lip. That expression was incredibly sexy and I couldn't do anything about it. Finally, he released his lip and said, "It's like the difference between dating and marriage, but in a world without divorce. Right now, you're my mate and there's a bond between us, but it's incomplete. If we sealed it, our scents would mix and we would be able to speak telepathically. Most importantly, we would be fully committed."

I nodded slowly. Made sense. Werewolves weren't the only scent-driven species, so even though it sounded really strange that we could mix our scents, I wasn't altogether surprised.

"And you're ready to make that commitment now?" I asked. He had said he wanted us to seal our bond, but wasn't that moving a little fast?

Magnus blushed and shifted a little in his seat. "Yeah, I am. I've been telling you all along, Lachlan, I know how I feel about you. I've been waiting to meet you for years and there's no doubt in my mind that we would be truly happy together. I really believe I can make you happy."

I believed that too. "It's not all about me, Magnus. I have to be able to make you happy, too," I felt obliged to point out.

He rolled his eyes, though, dismissing my point entirely. "Lachlan, you do. I've never been so happy in my life, even with everything going on in the pack right now."

Wait, what? "What do you mean?"

His brow furrowed for a moment before he laughed. "Oh, right! Sorry, I've been trying not to overload you with information, but there's a bit more I should explain. When I told you that I inherited a company a couple of years ago, what I meant was that I became alpha of my pack."

I didn't know a lot of werewolf lore, but I understood the term "alpha" well enough. "You're the alpha?" I repeated in absolute disbelief. Magnus was so pure, so happy and kind, so willing to bend to others' wishes... how could he lead a pack of werewolves? Didn't you need to be bulkier, more demanding, more arrogant? Something? Magnus was a total sweetheart.

Magnus laughed and leaned back against the couch, looking truly at ease for the first time since he arrived. It was good to see him like this. "Yes. You don't have to say it – I know I'm not the type."

"Then how...?" I wasn't sure how to finish my question without hurting his feelings, but Magnus knew what I meant.

"The last alpha attacked my family. I helped stop him... and I was the one that dealt the killing blow. That makes me the alpha."

"You've killed?" I gasped. He panicked, all his relaxed happiness evaporating in an instant.

"I swear I won't hurt you," Magnus said. "You have to believe me, please, I could never hurt you."

"Woah! I believe you, Magnus. I'm not afraid. I was just worried about you. It can't have been easy to take a life, even if it was in defense of your family."

That was the limit of Magnus' self-control. He snapped, flinging his arms around me in a crushing hug. "Thank you."

I froze, doing a quick inventory of my body to make sure I didn't have any open wounds other than on my lip. I tugged my sleeves further down my arms just in case before hugging him back. After maybe twenty seconds, Magnus suddenly recoiled.

"Sorry!" he squeaked. Magnus tried to back away from me, but I wouldn't let him go far.

"It's okay."

I felt run down and definitely wasn't in any position to make huge, life-altering decisions. I also knew better than to send Magnus away right now. He would go without complaint and he would spend the whole night miserable, thinking I'd rejected him or that I was afraid. My whole being shied away from breaking off our relationship, but I couldn't commit to him the way he wanted right now either. That left us in limbo, and I think I needed his comfort almost as much as he needed mine.

"Would you do something for me?" I asked.

"Anything," was his immediate response. He meant it, too – I could see that. He would do anything I asked if it was in his power. Someday the man was going to give too much, and I wanted so badly to be there to protect him when that day came.

"There are actually two things. I'm hoping you can agree not to touch me skin-to-skin, at least until we have our relationship figured out." Even as I spoke, I could see Magnus' despair. I rushed to take his hands, breaking my own rule just seconds after it was made. Magnus pulled his hands away, wrapping his arms around himself. He looked so hurt.

"Magnus, I need time," I said. "If we touch, I might accidentally be turned into a werewolf. That's not a decision I'm up for making tonight. I was hoping we could put on lots of clothes and spend the rest of the evening together – that was actually the second part of my request."

"Maybe it would be best if I left," Magnus said. "I should give you some space to think."

I yanked my sleeves down again and held them over my hands, then climbed onto Magnus' lap so I could hug him. It was hard with Magnus' arms still wrapped protectively across his chest, but I made it work until Magnus' arms hesitantly wrapped around me. I shifted so I was more comfortably settled on his lap with my legs wrapped around his middle. My head rested on his shoulder. Voila – a full-body embrace with zero skin contact. I hummed in satisfaction, nuzzling my cheek against him. An answering rumble started up in Magnus' chest. It was strangely soothing.

It didn't take long for Magnus' hold on me to tighten. "Thank you for listening," he murmured.

"Always," I promised.