JEN

"Jennifer. Jennifer. Jennifer."

The quiet chant of my name pulled me out of the darkness. Someone was calling me, trying to wake me up.

I opened my eyes to a dull thud on the side of my head and a dull thud to the side of my face. I grabbed both and groaned. I looked around, looking for the person calling me but all I saw were concrete walls.

It was absolutely freezing, my teeth chattered creating an echoing sound around me. I got up into a sitting position, holding my head in place and wrapped my arms around my body trying to bring back some heat.

"Jennifer." I heard my name again but this time to my left.

"Shawn?" I asked recognizing his beautiful voice.

A sigh of relief was heard through the air. "I was worried you wouldn't wake up for a minute!"

"What happened?" I was still a little disoriented. I climbed up to my feet and went to metal bars that were keeping me in. I shook them, hoping they were left open but I knew they obviously weren't but hey, a girl can hope.

I looked to my right and noticed a door at the end of the hall. This place didn't seem familiar so I'm sure we were moved somewhere else. The hallway flickered with light which lead to another door at the beginning of the hall. Or was it the end?

I noticed a pair of hands wrapped around the metal bars of the cell next to me.

"After they hit you in the head, I-I tried to help you but was beaten until I couldn't take it anymore." His voice was soft, and full of defeat and downright disturbing.

I didn't say anything even though all I wanted to do was shout profanities at him.

How could he do this to himself! He willing gave himself over and made a deal without even telling me. If I would have known I would have chloroformed him, again, and taken him somewhere he couldn't leave! The idiot!

I didn't notice I was crying until I sniffled. I was hurt he did this to himself.

"Are you crying?" Asked Shawn, his voice had a hint of surprise. Why was he surprised? I was trapped in a cell with hundreds of super human wolves sitting outside wanting to kill us slowly. But I wasn't crying for that, I was crying for Shawn. I could still get away from the vengeful people but Shawn? They'll eat him alive, literally.

"Did you get what you wanted?" I finally spoke after minutes of silence.

I heard a bang, making me jump.

Shawn's angry voice floated into my cell. "No. So please, don't-just." He growled and then I heard another bang.

I sat down, leaning my head back. I brought my knees up to my chest and shivered again.

By the shuffling sound and light thud I heard behind me, I knew Shawn was in the same position I was.

"What do you think is going to happen now?" I asked thinking up different scenarios where I am killed by many different things.

"I'm not sure Jen, but whatever happens, I want you to know that I-I love you. I always did and I always will." His voice was soft and heavy with emotion. I only ever spent a little time with him for just a few days and although he treated me like a jerk most of the time, I knew exactly what he was talking about.

"I regret every choice I ever made that was the cause of your hurt, your emotional pain, your physical pain. I regret ever letting that bastard take over my body." I heard another bang followed by a groan of pain.

I jumped up. "Shawn are you okay!"

"Yeah." His voice didn't sound like it was okay.

I sat back down again and thought about the reason why Shawn was so desperate to turn into a killer.

After an hour of silence and a billion reasons later, I finally asked him the question that was burning in my mind.

"What happened to you Shawn, after you were kidnapped. What happened to you for all those years?" I chewed on my bottom lip, regretting the question. If he wanted to tell me, he would have.

"I guess my mother told you what happened that day, the day my father was killed." His voice didn't sound angry, just calm.

He chuckled darkly. "I don't even know where to start!"

"Just start with the beginning." I said in a small voice, my head on my knees and my ears open and eager for the information.

"Ever since I was 5 and became aware of werewolves, I was instantly sucked in. We were so cool right, with the speed and the super strength! I felt like superman and I couldn't be more happier."

I smiled thinking of a small Shawn running around in his underwear wearing a cape.

"Then when I turned 6, I was instantly thrown into training. I trained everyday after school for an hour with our pack trainer, my...uncle, Clayton." He said through clenched teeth. He was obviously mad with his uncle.

"My un-Clayton, was my father's older brother and although he was trained to be next in line for Alpha, he was demoted to Beta because his mate had died and he could not produce an heir to continue the family name as Alpha. My father was thrilled to hear the news and although Clayton was seething, he never showed it.

I guess when I was showing improvement by my seventh birthday, he became jealous. Jealous of the incredible strength and knowledge I already had at such a young age."

I wonder what my "father-in-law" looked like. Shawn obviously got his eyes from his mom but did he look like his father?

"After my eighth birthday, I was already starting my Alpha training."

My eyes popped out of my head. We didn't usually learn that until we were at least sixteen!

"I still had a couple of years until I was supposed to shift but my father always said, 'The earlier we teach, the longer affect it has.' And I agree with him, even now. But Clayton? He didn't agree.

I remember there was shouting at my house the night before I was taken. Clayton had come over and demanded my dad give him the Alpha title but they brushed it off because he was drunk and my dad felt sorry for him.

I guess that was the first mistake, not realizing what a dangerous threat Clayton really was."

Did Clayton kill Shawn's father, his own brother just for the Alpha?

"The next morning, my father took us for a walk, because I was the one begging to go outside. And then the next thing I knew, my mother was placing me inside a tree telling me not to make a sound. I was scared of course, and Clayton took advantage of it.

I was hiding when I saw a shadow and it made me scream. A hand was slammed onto my mouth and I was relieved it was Clayton.  'Shawn.' He said. 'Come with me, your dad is waiting for you.' And I willing went with him." I could hear the sadness in his voice.

"He took me to an abandoned farm house miles from my pack and during the whole time my eight year old self was incredibly confused. I was wondering what my father was doing here when I had just seen him. I wanted to know if he was okay.

Days passed and still nothing. I was kept in a room, it had everything an eight year old boy could ask for but I didn't want anything, I wanted my mom and dad. A few days later, Clayton came into my room, the room was always locked from the outside, when I refused to eat. I told him, 'Uncle, take me to my mom.' And I remember the look on his face. He was confused. 'Uncle?' He said confused. 'I am your father and I expect you to call me as such.' Now I was confused. I kept refusing and that was the first time he hit me. It was a slap to the face but it scared me straight. But even after being scared, I always refused to call him dad. He wasn't my father because my father was dead.

Years had passed and everyday I would receive a new punishment. Clayton was a sick, twisted man who was very creative when it came to punishments. On good days, he would just come in and break a few bones but on bad days, he always brought in the hot iron poker. I was beaten every night."

A few silent tears left my eyes not being able to hold them back. He was just a little boy.

"A few years passed and it was my thirteenth birthday. The year I shifted into my wolf. The most painful night of my life. Every time a bone would break to shift, Clayton was there to set it back. But my body was ready to shift so the same bone would break every time. I cried for him to stop but this went on for hours until finally I had enough. That was the night I called him dad." His voice sounded so ashamed. The tears were uncontrollable now. I felt as if everything he felt, I felt.

"And instantly, he stopped. He let me shift and in wolf form, I passed out from the extreme exhaustion I had.

After that day, everything changed, I was treated differently, I was treated better. Three years passed and I was happy, not happy without my parents but happier that I wasn't getting punished anymore. Every night, Clayton would tell me he loved me and I would just smile in return. He was sick but I had to play along. I hadn't seen the sun in 8 years and I wanted him to trust me enough to let me go outside.

I felt strong enough to take him down and I just needed a chance to escape. One night, he forgot to lock the door, only now I realized it was done deliberately, and I snuck out, to a part of the house. It was amazing to see something other than that room. Just before I reached the front door, I was kicked unconscious. I woke up with my hands and feet tied to the boards of my bed, my shirt was off. The only thing I was wearing were my faded, old, blue jeans.

My uncle came in with a twisted smile on his face and sat down on my bed. I was angry, I was enraged. I wanted to hurt him so bad!" Shawn shouted huffing and puffing.

"I knew what was coming next, he was going to hit me, burn me,  break my bones but I didn't care! He couldn't do anything worse than that! Fuck, I was wrong. Instead of doing everything I thought he would, he-"

He cut off mid-sentence and sucked in a shaky breath. "He-pulled down my-" his voice broke, before he could finish his sentence.

I gasped and started to sob. "No." I said to myself.

Shawn still tried to continue. "He-he pulled-"

"STOP IT! I don't want to hear anymore!" I cried out in pain. I covered my ears and shook my head trying to make the images go away.

A few moments passed before I finally calmed down. A few more moments passed before Shawn spoke again.

"Jennifer? Are you okay?" He asked, his voice sounding concerned.

I shook my head. Not realizing he couldn't see me. My body ached to be with him. All I wanted to do was go to him and hold him and love him and tell him he's safe.

"I promise I'm almost done."

"Okay." I said in a small voice laced thick with sadness.

He hesitated for a moment maybe wondering if he should continue.

"Two years passed and I was in a deep depression. I tried to...kill myself multiple times but every time Clayton was there to save me.

One day when I had successfully plunged a knife deep into my stomach, I felt something. I was on the brink of death but somehow I felt stronger. I realized it was my wolf, the beast inside that did not show itself until called upon.

And then poof, I was gone. I thought I was dead, I thought the darkness I saw was there for all eternity. I thought I was being punished that is until the day we must have seen you for the first time.

The beast who was showing itself in my body felt something deep inside and it awoke me. I saw what the beast saw and what I saw was a girl laying on the ground, broken. At first I was confused because why would a girl lying unconscious bring me out of my sleeping state. Then when I saw you again, super angry and beautiful, I realized what you were. My mate. My other half. My life. And as I realized, so did the beast.

I tried and I tried to bring back control to myself but I couldn't. I was too weak. I would be able to take over sometimes but then his strength would send me back. I slowly started to see the memories of what he, what I did, to the other packs, how much terror I had caused."

It was quiet again. The only sound was my racing heartbeat which wasn't going back to normal because it was stuck on, "tried to kill myself." My heart clenched in anguish. Never have I felt so helpless, so useless, not even when I was being tortured by Shawn himself.

"I'm sorry." Shawn whispered so low I almost didn't hear it.

I got up to my feet and went to the bars and stretched on my toes to push my right hand towards his cell.

"Shawn." I called out. My body was pressed against the cold concrete wall. I looked for his hand to come out and try to touch mine but it never came.

"Shawn, please." I tried one more time, wanting to touch him so bad.

Finally I felt the light touch of his finger on my palm. A surge of electricity rocked my body and I pushed my arm further until I clasped his hand in mine.

"Never be sorry for something that wasn't in your control. Never be sorry for surviving."

I squeezed his hand in reassurance. "I love you. I'll love you in this life and the next. Never forget it."

The creak of a door sounded to my right.

"Well isn't that cute?"