trigger warning : domestic abuse

///

"And I just-" Jungkook began, tears in his brown eyes. "After everything we've been through, all the ups and downs- for you t-to... lie to me like that and- and betray my trust, I j-just c-can't believe it," Jungkook sniffled, taking a tissue and pressing it to the inner corner of his eye.

"Stop being so over dramatic, oh my god! I slept with her ONCE! It was ages ago!" Jimin snapped.

"But why didn't you tell me! I mean, you've always hated Eka!" Jungkook snapped at Jimin, who rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, well. You were being a little butt to me back then, remember? You moved in with V and I was all alone one night. I randomly began messaging her and then... y'know.... one thing led to another, and-" Jimin said, and Jungkook grimaced.

"I didn't expect that from you, but damn, man. Get it." Jungkook said, putting his fist forward. Jimin fist bumped him. "I had a long ass conversation with her on the train. She told me everything that happened that night when I was drunk as hell. Taehyung didn't... do anything inappropriate." Jungkook said, sighing in relief.

"Still kind of sucks. To even have that apprehension shows that you don't trust him fully. Plus, how can you just go with what Eka says?" Jimin asked, and Jungkook gulped.

"Well, um-" Jungkook began, and then scratched the back of his neck. "I... I trust him?" Jungkook stammered, and then shrugged. "He did punch that guy who tried pulling shit on me."

"Fair enough," Jimin said. "Are you gonna go talk to him?"

"Yeah. I'll go right now, in fact." Jungkook said, and Jimin hummed and sat down on his bed. "By the way, what's going on with you and Rose?"

"Nothing," Jimin said, blushing. "We just talked that night, nothing more."

"Mhm. Sure thing." Jungkook winked, and then giggled and walked out of his dorm.

Meanwhile, Taehyung was in his dorm, sitting on his bed while facing Eka, who was sitting on the other bed. She rose her eyebrow at him and then sighed. "I don't know why you're so fucking silent. I kind of saved your football career,"

"Yeah but you told Jungkook way more than necessary," Taehyung snapped, and then looked at Eka. "Why're you getting involved in my business?"

"Excuse me?? If I didn't get involved in your business, Jungkook would've told the entire school that you raped him!" Eka said sharply. "So don't you dare be angry at me."

"Still, Eka. I was high as fuck that night, and I knew he was drunk! He didn't need to know how I felt about him!" Taehyung said. "I-I was just spewing bullshit that night, anyone. Now he's going to think I want him to be my boyfriend or something," Taehyung mumbled.

"Don't you?" Eka asked.

"No! I'm- I'm not gay, Eka. For fuck's sake- will you just- just shut the fuck up." Taehyung grumbled, covering his face with his hands.

"Literally didn't say anything."

"Yes, you did! Couldn't you have just told him I didn't take advantage of him- instead of telling him I'm in love with him!" Taehyung snapped, and Eka sighed, rolling her eyes.

"God, shut up. I helped you out, why the fuck are you still being so-"

"Just get up and get out of my room," Taehyung said, and Eka frowned. "I could still tell everyone you're into fucking dudes by the way. I still have that on you, so I don't know where you're getting this confidence from," Eka said, standing up.

Taehyung looked at her. For some reason, the thought of Eka knowing sent his insides into a whirlwind of anxiety, so he threw out any words that left his mouth. "As if anyone's going to believe you anyway. You always start rumors, Eka. You're a wannabe high school queen socialite who didn't get enough attention as a child."

Eka frowned. "Okay, woah. What the fuck did I even do to you? I'm being unreasonably nice to you about this situation-"

"Unreasonably nice? You're being a fucking bitch, as usual!" Taehyung snapped, standing up. Both of them didn't see the door of Taehyung's dorm room opening. "Do you ever wonder why you have no friends? And why no one likes you? Because you're a bitch, Eka. You always have been and you always will be-"

"Woah," Jungkook let out, rushing over to stand in front of Taehyung. "Hey, don't say that," Jungkook said to Taehyung. He saw Eka looking lost for words, a little upset.

"I was-" Eka began, and then gulped. "I was just trying to be nice for once. Why're you getting so mad?" Eka asked, and Jungkook frowned at Taehyung.

"Because I don't need people like you knowing this shit about me, got it? Just- fuck off." Taehyung snarked, sitting down on his bed.

Eka looked at Taehyung for a few seconds, and then grabbed her bag and headed for the door. "Eka-" Jungkook called out, but she walked out of Taehyung's dorm room and slammed the door shut. Jungkook looked at Taehyung, eyebrows furrowed.

"That was really mean! Why'd you say all that?" Jungkook asked, and Taehyung sighed.

"She's not going to do anything about it. Plus, I don't need her knowing so much about me, it- it's fucking weird." Taehyung grumbled, and Jungkook bit the inside of his cheek. He didn't like how mean Taehyung was sometimes.

Taehyung looked at Jungkook and scoffed. "Why're you here anyway? Don't you have some other masterplan to make where you make me feel like utter shit?"

Jungkook looked at his feet. "Not yet..." Jungkook said in a small voice and then felt Taehyung grab him and pull him closer until he was standing between Taehyung's legs, while Taehyung was sitting down on the bed, looking up at him.

"Why'd you do that, Kookie?" Taehyung asked, voice softer than earlier.

"It shouldn't bother you anyway. It's not like you like me." Jungkook mumbled and saw Taehyung open his mouth to say something, but then close it. Jungkook felt Taehyung's arms circle his waist. "You just- y-you've hurt me so many times. I just wanted to make you feel like how I did."

"Hurt you?" Taehyung asked, and Jungkook nodded, looking at him all puffy cheeked. "That time at the arcade... and that time when you were mean to me.... and that other time you were mean to me.... and then when Jimin found out.... and then when you kissed me but asked Eka out the next day.... or when you-"

"I got it." Taehyung let out airily, and Jungkook saw him looking away. "Shouldn't have hurt you so many times."

"Yeah," Jungkook said, and then paused for a bit, and kicked Taehyung's foot lightly. "Meanie."

Taehyung smiled at that, and then pulled Jungkook onto his lap, looking at the boy fondly. Jungkook brushed Taehyung's grey hairs out of his face. "Eka told me what you said to me that night... I'm sorry for assuming the worst, I just- I couldn't help it-"

"It's alright," Taehyung whispered. "But I'd never hurt you like that, you know that, right?"

"Yes," Jungkook said and kissed Taehyung's forehead. Taehyung blushed a little, and so did Jungkook. "Tell me what's going on, Taehyungie. I know this isn't just about having sex anymore."

Taehyung's breath hitched. "Kookie.." Taehyung trailed. "I'm-" He began, and then gulped. "I'm straight, you know that-"

Jungkook pressed their lips together, and Taehyung hummed into the kiss, feeling enlightened with the touch of Jungkook's lips against him. Jungkook pulled away. Taehyung blinked.

"I'm like, 98% straight, you know that..." Taehyung said again, and Jungkook giggled.

"I'm breaking you down," Jungkook whispered, and Taehyung sighed. Jungkook cupped his face. "I don't care, Tae. You can take all the time you need figuring it out. But stop lying to yourself about how you feel about me."

Taehyung gulped. He looked up at Jungkook. "How do.. how do you feel about me?" Taehyung asked, and Jungkook felt his heart gallop while looking into Taehyung's eyes.

Jungkook got up from Taehyung's lap, walking a few steps away. "I'll tell you, but it might ruin everything," Jungkook said, biting his lip/

"Aw, tell meeeee-" Taehyung whined, and Jungkook smiled.

He felt his heart racing rapidly. "Y-you remember that night- um- the night of the a-art exhibition?" Jungkook stammered, and Taehyung stood up to walk over to him. Jungkook suddenly felt two hands on his waist, and then looked up and saw Taehyung looking down at him, hair tied by his bandana.

"Yeah?" Taehyung asked in his deep voice, and Jungkook gulped. "D-don't g-get mad at me, please." Jungkook squeaked, and Taehyung shook his head.

"I won't," Taehyung whispered, and Jungkook looked hesitant, but nonetheless, looked at Taehyung.

"I sort of... started having a crush on you..." Jungkook trailed, and then instantly looked away, deciding he didn't want to see Taehyung's expression. "I-I sort of... sort of started w-wanting us to be more than just- than just fuckbuddies."

"T-this was since the night of the art exhibition?" Taehyung let out, and Jungkook gulped.

"Yes. I know! I know it's super weird. But-" Jungkook began, but then sighed. "I j-just love all the conversations we had and I love spending time with you. I-" Jungkook looked at him. "I like you. I like you a lot, Taehyung. And-"

Taehyung pressed their lips together.

Jungkook let out a mewl of surprise, hands grabbing Taehyung's collar. Jungkook felt himself get picked up and placed onto the wooden desk, Taehyung's lips all over his own.

"Fuck," Taehyung said pulling away. He smiled. "You've had feelings for me since then??"

"Y-yeah." Jungkook squeaked, feeling a sigh of relief because Taehyung didn't seem angry. Taehyung chuckled, kissing Jungkook's cheeks.

"Oh, I'm- I'm sorry for all the times I kept saying we'd be nothing more than fuckbuddies, damn, I said that quite a lot," Taehyung mumbled, and Jungkook hummed.

"It's okay," Jungkook said, and then brought his hand down Taehyung's face. "You're not mad?"

"Why would I be mad about this? You- you like me? That's really- I don't know. I enjoy that." Taehyung said, and then kissed him again. Jungkook giggled into the kiss, and then pulled away.

He kissed Taehyung's cheek. "How long have you had feelings for me?"

Taehyung paused. He looked at Jungkook with a small smile, and Jungkook waited for a few seconds for the answer. The silence went on for too long, and Jungkook rose his eyebrow. Taehyung hummed.

"Well," Taehyung began, and then cleared his throat. "Never. I-I- um- I don't have feelings for you. But-" Taehyung said, and then began kissing Jungkook again.

Jungkook's eyes widened, and he pushed Taehyung off of him. "Oh," Jungkook said, then jumped off the desk, eyes still wide, heart still pounding, stomach in a twist.

"Don't- don't get mad, Jungkook. I just-"

"No no no, I'm not- I'm not mad," Jungkook let out, looking away, mouth open in shock. "I j-just thought you-you did, because-"

"I mean." Taehyung began, scratching his head. "W-why did you think that?"

"Because!" Jungkook snapped, turning around, enraged. He took a deep breath, trying to calm down. "You-you said all that shit to me when you were high. About how overwhelmed you feel when you look at me. And-and I don't know- you seem happy when we spend time together! And you keep wanting me back every time I go away!" Jungkook cried, and then Taehyung blinked.

"Oh," Taehyung said. "Oh, jeez, well, then I guess I do like you!"

"What?" Jungkook asked, and Taehyung sighed. He closed his eyes, putting his hands against his face.

"Look, Kook, I'm not good at this. I've never had feelings for anyone. I don't know if this is how it's supposed to feel like." Taehyung said, and then looked at Jungkook. The boy looked like he was going to cry. Taehyung rushed to him, grabbing his waist. "Don't cry! Don't cry, baby. I just- I want you! I want you really badly, and I do want to spend all my time with you-"

"T-then what!" Jungkook snapped, cheeks red and eyes watery, looking way too cute. Taehyung sighed. "I just... I want to do all of that but I don't wanna.... like, do it like I'm gay or something."

Jungkook took a deep breath. "Taehyung you're not making any sense-"

"I'm not gay. I'm not bisexual. I'm straight." Taehyung confirmed, and Jungkook didn't have the energy to roll his eyes. "And I want you to be my... I don't know the word for it..... like my girlfriend but you're not a girl."

"A boyfriend!?" Jungkook snapped, and Taehyung gulped.

"Yeah, but see, no- because- well, I'm straight. And also- I don't want a boyfriend. Nor a girlfriend. I like you. A lot. Do I want to date you? Yes. No. I don't know. Maybe. I mean, yes. Of course, you're amazing. But like, also, no. Because-" Taehyung began yabbering, and Jungkook cupped his face with his hands.

"Taehyung, y-you're confused. And you're unsure. A-and that's fine." Jungkook whispered, and Taehyung gulped, eyes big. "We can take it as slow as you want. We don't have to tell anyone, not anyone in the world- except Jimin." Jungkook said the last part quickly.

"I don't care about the gay/straight thing. Just tell me this." Jungkook said, and then looked into his eyes, their proximity quite close. "Do you like me?"

Taehyung gulped. Jungkook blinked, and Taehyung looked into his pretty eyes. "Does your heart start fluttering when you think of me? Do you get butterflies in your stomach when you look at me? Do you want me more than anyone else?" Jungkook asked softly.

Taehyung felt as if he was caught in a trance while looking at Jungkook. "Yes." Taehyung let out, unable to stop the smile reaching his face.

"Then, good," Jungkook said, smiling a little. "That's all I need," Jungkook whispered, and then pressed their lips together.

Taehyung held Jungkook's waist tightly while kissing him, and felt his heart galloping. Jungkook smiled into the kiss, felt himself get picked up and placed onto the bed. Jungkook looked up at Taehyung and smiled.

"You're mine now." Jungkook giggled, and Taehyung smiled fondly.

"I've always been yours," Taehyung whispered, and they pressed their lips together again.

///

Taehyung kicked a big ball towards the tree and then began squealing in joy. He saw his mother standing behind him and giggled at her. "Look mommy- it hit the tree!!"

"Good job, baby." His mother smiled widely, kissing his cheek. Taehyung saw her loving eyes and then looked behind her and gasped.

"Mommy, can I go play with my friends?" Taehyung asked, and his mother nodded, ruffling his hair.

Taehyung ran up to the playground, seeing curly hair. "Michi!" Taehyung said loudly and saw the big-eyed boy turn around. "TaeTae!!" The little boy squealed, and Taehyung rushed over and hugged him tightly, both falling onto the ground.

Both began rolling around in the grass. "Why didn't you come to my party?" Michi asked, pouting "It was lots of fun. We all danced."

Taehyung frowned a little, sitting down beside him. "My mommy didn't let me go," Taehyung said, and Michi booped Taehyung's nose.

"It's okay!! You know what my mommy said? She told me that you and I are like baby Romo and Julett." Michi said.

"Who's Romo and Julett?" Taehyung squeaked, and Michi shrugged. Michi grabbed Taehyung's soft hand.

"I dunno. But I know they give each other kissies. On the-" Michi began and pointed at his lips. Taehyung gasped, eyes wide. Scandalous.

"Kissies on the what??" Taehyung asked like it was the craziest thing he'd ever heard. Michi giggled. "Like this." Michi said, and then leaned over and kissed Taehyung on the lips.

Taehyung blushed and clapped his hands together. "My turn!" Taehyung said, and then kissed Michi back.

"T-Taehyung-" A voice came, and Taehyung turned to see his mother rushing over to him. "Come on, let's go now." She said hastily, grabbing Taehyung's hand and tugging him along.

"Bye bye, Michi." Taehyung said, waving his hand. Michi waved back, sad to see Taehyung go.

"Mommy what's wrong?" Taehyung asked, and then his mommy stopped and leaned down to look at him. She looked scared. Taehyung didn't know why.

"I-I told you not to do that, right? Why did you do that? I told you to only do it with girls-" his mother stammered, and Taehyung wanted to say something, but then suddenly saw his father right behind his mother.

"Daddy..." Taehyung trailed, and then Taehyung saw his mother stand up to look at him, eyes wide.

"I-I'm sorry. I don't know why he-" Seoyeon said lightly, and Taehyung's father grabbed her by the arm.

"We'll talk when we get home." He said roughly. Seoyeon grabbed Taehyung by his hand, and they all walked home in silence.

One hour later, Taehyung was sitting in his bedroom, playing with a dinosaur stuffed toy he owned. His tv was playing very loudly, his mother had left it like that before she went away. Taehyung got annoyed and clicked the tv off after she left.

He could hear his mother crying from upstairs. He heard a loud sound of hitting, and tensed himself, hugging his dino toy.

"I swear to fucking god, Seoyeon- if you raise him like that I'll throw you out of my goddamn house!" Taehyung heard his father shout.

"I-I-I'm sorry- I-I d-didn't know-" He heard his mother cry. And he hated it. Hated how daddy made mommy cry all the time.

Sometime later, his mommy walked into his room. Taehyung was crying. She sat down beside him, pulling him onto her lap, and began stroking his hair, kissing his forehead lightly.

"It's okay baby, don't cry."

"W-why does he hit you, mommy?" Taehyung asked, crying into her chest.

Taehyung's mother didn't say anything, just continued patting him to make him stop crying. "Don't worry about it, little Taehyung. You remember what you told me, right?" She asked softly, and Taehyung saw bandages on her face.

"T-that when I'm older I-I-I'll get a house and you can stay with me, mommy. No daddy." Taehyung squeaked, and his mother smiled softly.

"Yes. But p-please, honey bear," She whispered, looking at him. "I t-told you, remember? Kissing or hugging or liking boys is bad. D-don't do it from next time." She said softly, and Taehyung nodded.

"Sorry mommy. I-I won't do it again if it means daddy won't bully you." Taehyung whispered, and got a kiss on the forehead.

"I-I'm sorry," She whispered into his hair, and Taehyung felt himself going off to sleep in her arms.

Years and years later, when Taehyung was 13, he got suspended from his middle school.

"I-I'm s-sorry-" Taehyung heard a light voice say. "Pl-please-"

"Shut the fuck up, you fag." Taehyung snarked at the curly haired boy and heard his friends laugh beside him. Michi was on the floor, had gotten punched in the stomach.

The boy looked at Taehyung, tears in his eyes. Taehyung turned around, and he and his friends walked away.

"Wasn't he your best friend when you were kids?"

"Yeah, whatever," Taehyung grumbled and saw his friends laugh and walk in front of him. Taehyung turned around and saw Michi on the floor still, calling his mother on the phone and pleading her to pick him up quickly.

Taehyung's breath hitched, but he turned around and walked away.

When he'd reach home later, he found his father sitting on the couch. "You got suspended for beating a kid up?" His father asked.

Taehyung gulped. "He was a fag, anyway," Taehyung mumbled.

He heard his father laugh. "Oh, you're a young boy. It's fine. You're going to boarding school next month anyway,"

"Yeah," Taehyung said, and then walked into his bedroom, closed the door behind him, and sat on his bed, crying for the rest of the night.