〚THIRTY FIVE〛

Taehyung sat in the back of the classroom, idle chatter from his classmates like white noise in the background. He didn't feel like waking up that particular morning- wishes he could stay in bed all day. But school was a necessity, for some fucking reason, so now he was here.

"Sehun! Sehun!!! Sehunnie-" A voice came, and Taehyung gripped his pen tighter. Jungkook was calling for the black haired boy, who was talking to Jimin. Just pay attention to him, dumbass- Taehyung thought and saw Sehun walk up to Jungkook.

"What's up, baby?" Sehun asked, cupping Jungkook's face. Jungkook smiled up at him and leaned up to press their lips up for a second. Taehyung's breath hitched and he looked down at the assignment.

Jungkook pulled away and then pointed at the sheet on his desk. "I finished the assignment. Let's check answers?" Jungkook asked, and Sehun sat down beside him, grinning. "Yeah!" Sehun said energetically and then looked at his paper.

"Woah, you've got everything right. Me too!" Sehun said, and Jungkook smiled at his enthusiasm.

"Jungkook how's your art piece coming along?" Eka asked, sitting on her table. Jungkook looked at her. "Good! I'm deciding to do a renaissance inspired gay painting," Jungkook said, and Eka laughed. Taehyung felt his insides bloom at that. Jungkook got so happy doing art, it made Taehyung happy.

"How interesting! I used to do art too!" Sehun said, smiling at Jungkook. "I won the London Art Fair last year. Got an award and everything. I couldn't continue with art here, though." Sehun said pouting a little.

"Really? You did art? That's awesome!" Jungkook said, and then tilted his head. "You probably haven't heard of this guy, Stanislav Aristov? My new piece is inspired by his-"

"Oh my god I love him! Did you see his work on the New York exhibition? King!" Sehun said, and Jungkook gasped, giggling. Both continued talking about their favorite artists, favorite subjects, and all the rest. They had everything in common, it seemed.

Taehyung looked at the back of Jungkook's head, trying not to get upset over it. He had to try to be happy at least for today. Today was the worst day of all. One, tonight he had his first match where he wouldn't be captain. Two, the maths teacher said she wanted to speak to him- which can never be good.

And lastly, today was the anniversary of Taehyung's mother's death. He didn't like thinking about it.

Taehyung just took his earphones out of his bag and put them into his ear, turning his phone on to put some random music on. While he had no music playing, he heard some voices on his side.

"Yeah, no- I'd never date a guy like V."

"Me neither. I mean, he's hot or whatever, but he's such a dick!"

"Yeah. Plus, my mom told me to never date a guy who bullies people." Another girl said softly and then looked to make sure Taehyung wasn't listening and looked back at her friends. "V's probably going to be the type to hit his girlfriend when he gets mad or something,"

Taehyung's breath hitched, and he fumbled to put on some music so he could stop hearing those words. Did- did everyone think that?

Did Jungkook think that?

Taehyung felt the earphones get pulled out of his ear. "No phones in class, V. I'm giving you guys a relaxed lesson, that doesn't mean you take advantage," The teacher said, and Taehyung hummed and put his phone away. "Talk to me after class." The math teacher said, and Taehyung nodded, putting his head on the table and trying to get sleep.

After class was over, Taehyung watched as Jungkook dragged Sehun out, excited to show him his artwork. Sehun looked excited too.

"V, look. I'm going to be blunt here because I care about your future." The teacher said, and Taehyung stood in front of her desk. She took out some papers, placing them on the wooden surface. "What's wrong??"

Taehyung saw the sheets and saw the marks on them. Terrible. C's, D's, or even lower. Taehyung gulped. "They- um- they were difficult-"

She sighed, looking up at him. "V... you were doing so well just a few months ago. I was ready to give you an A! But suddenly you're derailing again... You know you can't continue like this, right? Coach told me you're trying for sports scholarships, but those don't accept you unless you have at least a B in subjects like Maths."

Taehyung suddenly got alarmed and frowned. "They won't accept me at all?"

"No! You need to be more alert, V! Look at that new boy, Sehun! You know he does football like you, right? On top of that he does almost all of the subjects and does extracurricular work, and he's been doing all the extra assignments I give him and scoring hundred on them-"

"Okay, I get it." Taehyung irked, feeling tense. "I-I get it. I'm sorry. I'll try harder next time." Taehyung said, and then turned around and walked out of the classroom.

Taehyung sighed to himself, closing his eyes for a few seconds. He couldn't lose this sports scholarship. It was the only way he could get away from his father earliest. He wouldn't want his father's money- wouldn't need that scumbag's money.

Taehyung knew it was lunch, but he couldn't go into the lunch room- all his friends would give him dirty looks. Taehyung decided it best to just go back to his dorms, that way he wouldn't have to feel the guilt he always felt when he looked at Jungkook. Taehyung began walking, but then saw the Coach.

"V! Ready for later today?" Coach asked, grinning. Taehyung nodded somberly. Coach looked at him for a few seconds and then sighed.

"What's wrong?" Coach asked, and Taehyung's breath hitched. "Ms. Yang told me that- that I might lose some of my sports scholarships if I don't up my grade in maths. I thought Seoul University only cared about track record, not grades and stuff?" Taehyung asked. The coach stilled.

"Yes, well... um, the thing is..." Coach trailed, and then gulped. "I think you should forget about Seoul University, kid."

"Why? That's- that's my dream college, coach. The sports facilities there are amazing, they-" Taehyung went on, and Coach sighed.

"Honestly, kid- I don't think they'll take you." The coach said, and Taehyung froze. "They'd probably take someone like Sehun, though."

Taehyung felt himself frozen, looking at the coach. "What- um- w-what about the other universities I told you about? Those big league ones? Like- like the o-one in Daegu, o-or-" Taehyung stammered.

"Taehyung," Coach said softly, and Taehyung looked up at him, eyes glistening. "I'm sorry, kid. I don't make these sort of decisions. It's not just your grades- you're not the captain anymore, so that-"

"B-but- I w-worked so hard for those colleges! I wake up early every day, even in the freezing cold, coach- to- to go to the field and- and practice! Sehun doesn't give a shit about any of that! He just- he's just doing it for college-" Taehyung stammered, feeling his skin grow warmer, knowing tears were creeping to his eyes.

"Don't get angry, V. There's a lot of other schools, you know. Look, I have to go. Don't stress about this thing. Be ready for tonight, yeah?" The coach said, patting his shoulder, and then walking off.

Taehyung cursed out loud, leaning against the wall. He bit his thumbnail- trying to keep his tears in. He sucked them back in and then gulped. He wishes he could talk about this with someone, anyone- but everyone just gave him dirty looks or didn't want to be around him.

Taehyung felt like he was going to throw up. He walked rather quickly towards an empty classroom to be alone- but when he opened it, he saw Sehun and Jungkook. Jungkook on the table, legs wrapped around Sehun, kissing him firmly- while Sehun grabbed his ass.

Both broke away when the door opened and looked with wide eyes. Sehun let out a breathless sigh of relief. "Oh, V. It's you. I thought it was a teacher or some-"

Jungkook looked annoyed. "Sorry," Taehyung mumbled and then turned around to walk away, feeling his insides crumbling. Taehyung tried walking away and then heard the door open and footsteps follow it.

"What the fuck is your problem?" A loud voice came, and Taehyung turned around and saw Jungkook, eyebrows furrowed. "I'm getting a little frustrated with you showing up everywhere! You keep looking at me in classes, looking at me in the hallways, showing up unannounced to my dorm- what're you trying to do?"

"N-nothing- nothing, Jungkook, I swear. I just wanted to talk things out-"

Jungkook let out a humorless laugh. "What?"

Taehyung nodded, looking at the floor. "I-I promise. I just wanted to talk to you about everything. There's just a lot going on at the moment, and-"

"Tae," Jungkook said softly, walking up to him. Taehyung looked at the brown haired boy and his breath hitched, but then saw Jungkook's eyes full of anger. "What in the fucking world makes you think I want to talk to you?"

Taehyung froze. "You punched me in the fucking stomach and called me a faggot!" Jungkook shouted, and Taehyung looked away, not wanting to look into his eyes. "What the fuck makes you think I want anything to do with you?"

"I'm sorry. I j-just- I just wanted to a-apologise. I don't have- have anything right now, Kook-"

"Good. That's what you deserve, you fucking asshole." Jungkook took a step away from him. "And I swear to fucking god, V- stay away from me," Jungkook growled and then turned around to walk back into the classroom.

Taehyung stood there for a while, the lump heavy in his throat. Don't cry don't cry don't cry- Taehyung thought, taking a deep breath. He closed his eyes, getting flashes.

Flashes of hospital rooms, a beeping flat line, his cries. Flashes of Jungkook, of when Taehyung punched him, made him cry, called him a faggot-

Taehyung kept it in. He just walked to a janitor's closet, closing his eyes and listening to the loud noise of kids talking and laughing coming from outside.

///

"How come we aren't kicking Sehun out of the changing room for being gay?" A voice whispered to another in the locker room.

"'Cause I'm not into any of you gross fucks!" Sehun said loudly, and Jimin burst out laughing. "You're all tops anyway," Sehun mumbled, and then there was a snicker.

"I knew Jeon took it up the ass. Looks it." Jaebum said.

Taehyung wanted to tell Jaebum to shut up- but then; "God, shut up JB. I don't know you that well, man, but I can just tell your dick is small." Sehun said.

Everyone started laughing, and Jaebum scoffed. Taehyung picked up his water bottle and headed for the exit of the door. He walked out and then saw the cheerleaders all on the field- along with all the students sitting on the bleachers. The other team was warming up on the field.

Taehyung was looking at how the other team was playing, and then bumping into someone. Taehyung saw he bumped into Jennie, and gulped, seeing her stumble back in surprise. "Sorry," Taehyung tried, reaching out for her shoulder. "Are you alr-"

"Don't fucking touch me, you creep!" Jennie snapped, and then pushed Taehyung away and ran away towards the girl's changing room. Taehyung frowned.

"Jeez V, can you stop being an asshole for one goddamn day?" Eka said from the field, and the other cheerleaders giggled. Taehyung ignored them, walking past the cheerleaders and onto the field.

Taehyung felt his phone ding and realized he still had it in his pocket. Taehyung took it out and saw a message from his father.

Today was your mother's memorial. I emailed the school asking for you to take a leave. Why didn't you come??

Taehyung sighed, texting back. I had a match today. And I rather not be at home. I visited her grave last week.

The message from his father came quickly. You're ungrateful. I've explained to your aunts that you don't care about your mother. Keep living like this, Taehyung. You're ruining your own life. Your mother would be so disappointed.

"Get off your phone, V. We have a match starting soon," Sehun's voice came, and Taehyung looked at the message his father sent and then closed the phone, placing it onto a bench.

"Okay so- Youngjae, midfield. Hoseok, goalkeeper. Yugyeom, striker. V, midfield-" Sehun read off a list.

"I don't play mid," Taehyung said- the team on the side while the cheerleaders did a routine on the side.

"I know." Sehun smiled. "But you will for today. I'm playing striker." Sehun said, giving his shoulder a pat and then walking away.

Taehyung frowned. He looked at the coach and saw him walking up to the field. Taehyung was about to ask what's going on but then saw the coach smile. "There's the star player!" Coach laughed, pushing Taehyung slightly while walking past him and to Sehun. "Are we all ready?"

"Yessir! We're going to win, too!" Sehun grinned, and Taehyung felt his insides hurting like it did all day, but ignored it, trying to be mature about it. It wasn't a big deal. Sehun was good too, Taehyung had to accept that.

"Sehun's a good guy," Yoongi said, and Taehyung looked at him. "He talked to me for ages the other day. And, y'know what! I don't think I hate gay people anymore!"

"Good for you," Taehyung said. "But I think you should apologize to Jungkook too. You guys were kind of mean to him-"

"What do you know, V? No offense- I mean, yeah, we were mean- but you kind of beat him up and called him a fag. That's way worse." Namjoon said.

"Yeah man. That wasn't cool. Even if you aren't cool with the gay stuff- it's not excuse to beat him up. He used to be close friends with you. And now he doesn't even look at you anymore," Hoseok chuckled, and Taehyung stilled.

Taehyung looked to the side, and saw Jungkook, wearing his old jersey with tights, holding pompoms in the air. "Go Sehunnie!" He said, jumping up and down.

"Aww," Jackson said. "Sehun, look at your boyfriend," Jackson said, turning Sehun to face Jungkook. Sehun smiled.

Jungkook was at the bleachers, and he began waving his arms wildly when he saw Sehun looking. Sehun blew a kiss, so Jungkook started giggling. Taehyung looked at him, but then Jungkook saw Taehyung and stopped giggling. Taehyung looked away.

The game began.

Taehyung felt out of place in the middle. He liked being near the goal, liked sizing the other goalie up, liked letting everyone know his place. He liked having the control over the ending tie-up- because he always kicked the ball in.

Taehyung finally got a kick from Youngjae and then dribbled the ball past defenders. He heard cheers from the people on the bleachers and smiled to himself. This was what he liked about football. The rush, the adrenaline. Taehyung saw Yugyeom open and was about to kick it to him, but then-

"Come on Sehun!!" Jungkook's voice stood out from all the others, and Taehyung felt himself stumble.

The ball left his control. He heard the crowd groan over it, the cheerleaders from the other team rejoicing over them being in the lead. Taehyung let out a breath he didn't know he was holding.

"What the fuck, man?" Jaebum snapped at him, and Taehyung gulped. "Sorry," Taehyung said, and then saw his teammates looking disappointed.

The game went on like this. Taehyung stumbling or losing the ball or just passing to the wrong person. His mind was too cluttered, chest too heavy for him to play normally. When midtime came, he felt himself get yanked to the side.

"V- I'm going to bench you if you continue like this," Coach snapped, and then shook him by the shoulders. "What's wrong with you? You're one of the best players! You can't screw up like this,"

"I know, sorry," Taehyung said in a small voice. Usually, he got really angry when he messed up- which wasn't often. Every time he did, he'd make sure the next play was so fucking legendary that people started clapping.

Now he just felt like a fuck up.

"Hey- um- maybe you should sit out?" Sehun said, and Taehyung looked at him. Everyone in the team saw the look on Taehyung's face and took a step back.

"Sehun you shouldn't have said that," Mark whispered to him, and Sehun was a little confused. Taehyung looked at him, his loose hair hiding the look on his eyes.

"No I mean- just because you-you don't look too good today," Sehun said, and Taehyung stood completely still. The other team members looked terrified, shaking in their studs for Taehyung's response. "It's nothing personal, bro. Plus, that way Bambam could play since he's been sitting out-"

"What the fuck!" Bambam hissed, widening his eyes. "Don't bring me into this! Now he's going to beat me up- ugh," Bambam groaned, hiding his face in his hands.

Taehyung looked at him for a few seconds. "I-" Taehyung began and then gulped. Don't cry. "I can play," Taehyung said, and then looked at Bambam, whose eyes were wide in fear.

"Sorry," Taehyung said softly, and everyone was surprise by Taehyung's sudden change. It's like he was... becoming a rational mature human being.

"Great! Let's do this, man!" Sehun said, patting Taehyung's upper back and then rushing off to the field. He was so full of energy. Taehyung gulped.

Never ever had anyone even thought about making Taehyung sit out before. This meant Taehyung was fucking up. Badly.

The second half of the game began, and this time, Taehyung kept his focus just on the game and nothing else. Ignored the anxiety, ignored his thoughts about Jungkook, about his friends, about his father, about his mother- and just focused on the ball in front of him.

They won.

With 3 minutes to spare, and both teams in a tie, Taehyung said fuck it and then took the ball and dribbled it across the field, fast like a cheetah, eyes dark and veins pumping, and then kicked the ball into the goal with vigor- and saw it shoot inside, surprising the goalkeeper and everyone else.

Everyone erupted into cheers. "Go V!!" Rose squealed.

"Shush!! We hate him, remember?" Lisa whispered. Rose widened her eyes and nodded, whispering sorry back.

The cheerleaders started doing some dance, and Taehyung turned around to look at his teammates, but then paused when he saw all of them cheering around Sehun.

Taehyung wiped the sweat off his forehead, walking over to them. "V!" Youngjae said with a grin. "You were so good!"

"Thanks," Taehyung smiled and heard more compliments from Hoseok and Yoongi. Taehyung was about to walk away but then heard a laugh.

"Sehun-" A voice came, and Taehyung turned and saw Jungkook, rushing over to him. "Good job, babe!" Jungkook said. Taehyung's breath hitched when he saw Sehun pick him effortlessly from under his thighs and press their lips together.

Taehyung froze. Everyone started ohh'ing. Jimin said something about how they ended homophobia. His teammates were all clapping and dancing around like jackasses, looking overly happy at the victory.

Taehyung watched as Sehun looked up at Jungkook, and Jungkook cupped his face and smiled at him, eyes dazzling. Jungkook whispered something to him, and Sehun blushed lightly and nudged their noses together.

Jungkook looked so happy.

Taehyung turned around quickly, feeling that rising anxiousness in his chest he'd been feeling for the past week. Taehyung grabbed his water bottle and bag off the bench, walking off.

"Aren't you going to celebrate, V?" A voice came from the distance, Taehyung not knowing who.

"Shut up, dude. Let him go. He'd ruin it anyway."

Taehyung walked quickly, feeling the vision in front of him hazing, blurring. His heartbeat fastened, stomach making turns, breath going shaky, faster- don't cry, don't cry, don't cry-

He heard some voices behind him. There were a group of people behind him, he didn't know who, but they were probably also making their way back to the dorms. "That's bad sportsmanship, V." One of them said, and they burst into laughs.

Ungrateful. Don't care about your mother. Taehyung felt tears rising in his eyes as he kept walking, biting his lip.

I swear to fucking god, V. Stay away from me. Taehyung felt his hands shaking, so he gripped his waterbottle tighter, bile rising in his throat, the lump growing further and further up-

V, I never told you- Sehun's my boyfriend. Taehyung felt his mouth go dry, gritting his teeth so fucking tightly- don't cry, don't cry, don't fucking cry-

"V? You alright?" A voice came, Jimin, a hand being placed on his shoulder. Taehyung, getting alarmed, turned around and smacked Jimin's hand off. Jimin stumbled back, eyes wide.

"I told you not to go up to him, Jimin! He's a fucking asshole, is what he is." A girl's voice came loud and clear, and Taehyung saw Jimin's vision in front of him blurring. Your mother would be so disappointed.

"S-sorry," Taehyung let out pathetically, everything from today building up into one moment, one moment being right now- he just couldn't take it.

"V are you okay?" Jimin asked, taking a step towards him. Taehyung bit his lip for a second, and then heard the group laugh from afar, and then looked away.

"I-I'm f-fine-" Taehyung tried, but Jimin frowned. "Jimin, just come back here! He'll just hit you again-" A voice came, and Taehyung dug his fingers into his palm.

He broke down. He just couldn't. Couldn't keep it pent up inside anymore. Jimin froze when he saw Taehyung clasp a hand over his mouth, tear beginning to fall down his eyes.

"O-oh-" Jimin let out, eyes going big. "Oh god- V? Hey, hey what's-"

Taehyung turned around. You're such a fucking pussy, Taehyung felt the tears rush down his face, no way of stopping them. He didn't know what to do, but it was as if he'd lost control of his own self. He couldn't stop his tears from falling, couldn't move his trembling body. He felt stuck.

"Taehyung-" A voice came, and Taehyung dragged his fingernails down his face, trying to stop crying, trying to move, loud sobs leaving his lips- "Taehyung don't do that-"

Taehyung felt his hand get pulled off, and then stopped in the middle of his cried when he saw Jungkook.

"J-Jungkook-" Taehyung let out weakly, and Jungkook reached forward, wrapping his arms around his neck.

"Hey, i-it's okay," Jungkook whispered into his ear, and Taehyung wrapped his arms around his waist tightly, getting to hold him, getting to feel his warmth against his. "It's okay. You're okay." Jungkook whispered.

Taehyung felt saved, letting his face fall into the crevice of Jungkook's neck, fitting together like a puzzle, and cried out. "You can cry, Taehyungie. You can." Jungkook said softly, and Taehyung felt the soft touch of Jungkook's cheek against his.

"Fuck." Eka let out, frowning. Her, Sehun, Jennie, and Jimin stood there, not knowing what to do. "Is- is he okay? I didn't think he'd start crying..." Eka stammered.

"It's fine. Come on guys, let's just go," Jimin said quickly, and the girls nodded. Sehun was stood still, frowning.

"What?" Sehun let out faintly, looking at Jungkook and Taehyung. Jimin gulped.

"Don't- don't worry about it. It's just- it's fine. Let's go." Jimin said, taking Sehun's arm and pulling him away, while Sehun couldn't stop looking confused and a little annoyed.

Meanwhile, Taehyung felt like he was dreaming- but he still couldn't stop his crying, even though Jungkook whispered words into his ear and stroked his hair. He didn't know why Jungkook was hugging him, but he needed it so fucking much right now.

Taehyung tightened his grip on the boy's waist, sniffling into his neck. "You're okay. You're good, it's fine. Don't worry. I'm here now," The last words for dainty, leaving a flicker of light in the darkness Taehyung felt.

Taehyung hugged him tightly, weakly whimpering into his neck. "D-d-don't leave m-me. Please."

"I won't," Jungkook whispered, closing his eyes and feeling Taehyung holding him tightly, taking in his familiar scent. Jungkook opened his eyes, placing his head on Taehyung's shoulder, feeling a discomfort he'd been feeling for the past weeks as well go away. "I won't."

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