get your tissues ready

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"You're early"

Taehyung said as he entered the candle-lit lounge that had been reserved for the evening. Taehyung was a tad bit of surprised to see that Jeon Jeongguk had arrived before him.

Taehyung was accompanied by a staff member who seemed too attentive to him the moment he entered the restaurant. He was led to the top most floor and he had found himself entering a candle-lit lounge that overlooked Seoul.

Jeongguk sat at a table in the middle of the lounge. His outfit, which consisted of a silk shirt and tight pants made him look strikingly hot. He flashed Taehyung a toothy bunny-like grin the moment Taehyung stepped into the lounge. Taehyung cooed at the sight.

"And you're late" Jeongguk said, still smiling.

"I'm perfectly on time" Taehyung said cockily as he took a seat in the opposite chair from Jeongguk.

Jeongguk's hair, a neat hairdo with his hair combed to the side made his eyes seem bigger than they already were. His lips glowed pink and a blush had crept up his cheeks. He looked so handsome and adorable at the same time.

The lounge was literally art. Beautiful Technicolor walls made out of minerals. The large glass panels displayed Seoul's vibrant city lights. Lovely piano music seemed to flow through a speaker somewhere, Taehyung couldn't quite decipher. The abstract décor made the whole lounge look so sensual and romantic.

Somehow they had all the privacy they needed.

"You've overdone yourself, bunny" Taehyung said, looking around, taking the view around him. "You know I was just joking when I told you to take me out on a meal"

"No, I wanted to do this" Jeongguk insisted.

A week had passed since the day Jimin found out about them. And not once did Taehyung call Jeongguk. It was difficult, the whole week not even getting the opportunity to talk to Jeongguk but he survived. But barely. He was almost glad and overflowing with relief and happiness when Jeongguk called him on a Wednesday evening, telling him to clear any plans on the following Sunday because Jeongguk was taking Taehyung out on a meal.

Taehyung was surprised. But having promised himself that he's going to try treating Jeongguk as a mere fuck buddy, he had almost refused the offer. Then he decided to treat himself and allow himself some time with the other lad, one last time, at least.

Much to Taehyung's glee, Jeongguk had filled him in with details of his week. Jeongguk sounded so enthusiastic anytime he explained anything about himself. But the boy hardly ever talked about himself, saying that his life wasn't filled with anything interesting. He rambled about his week on the phone and Taehyung listened with pure excitement as Jeongguk complained about this and that, the slightest bit of usually presumed boring information making Taehyung's heart be filled with joy.

Taehyung had explained that he had to return home the day Jimin visited and that whole week he had been busy, and hadn't been able to visit his apartment. It was half-truth. Jeongguk somehow believed Taehyung.

Of course, Jeongguk trusted Taehyung.

"Namjoon owns this place. So we're safe. I told him that we're coming too" Jeongguk said.

"Still..." Taehyung still felt like Jeongguk had overdone himself. "You know I'd have been very happy even if we went to a Korean barbecue place"

Jeongguk pouted. "Do you not like this place?"

"What? No. It's not like that. I love this place. It's breathtaking"

"I was a bit worried if you wouldn't like it. I'm glad you do now. It's safe here. We can't risk being seen by anyone"

Taehyung nodded. "Yeah, you're right"

The waiter arrived with menus and a bottle of wine. He poured the wine to their glasses.

"I ordered your favorite" Jeongguk said.

Taehyung smiled. "Thank you"

They ordered their meals. The restaurant was expensive. It was, after all Namjoon's. This was second most expensive restaurant in Seoul.

The waiter left, leaving Jeongguk and Taehyung to have secluded conversation in their own comfort bubble.

"To us" Taehyung raised his glass, smiling at Jeongguk.

Jeongguk hesitated for a minute, but raised his glass nevertheless. "To us"

Taehyung downed his glass, the rich red liquid leaving a slight burn down his throat.

"Why us?" Jeongguk asked.

"Because we aren't nothing, right? We're enemies with benefits. Let's keep doing what we were doing"

Jeongguk nodded, smiling.

Comfortable conversation flowed between them without flaw. Topic after topic came and went, food arrived and they ate in silence. Bottle after bottle of wine was placed on the table.

They had finished their meal and were on their second bottle of wine. Taehyung was slightly tipsy, but he was good. He was. Until he wasn't.

Jeongguk had moved his chair to Taehyung's side and now their knees were rubbing against each other. Taehyung tried not to think much about it because being tipsy and a bit horny by now wasn't a good combination. Because when it came to Jeongguk, Taehyung had no self-control.

Taehyung took another sip of wine. He felt Jeongguk's gaze on him. He turned his gaze to meet a pair of shining onyx eyes. Taehyung couldn't help the smile that spread across his face when he saw the beautiful boy.

Jeongguk smiled back. He placed his hand on Taehyung's knee.

"Tae" The younger spoke.

"Hmm?" Taehyung had placed his hand on Jeongguk's, softly rubbing it.

"I wish I could spend more time with you" Jeongguk said.

Taehyung didn't want to know where this was going. "Ggukkie we spend a lot of time with each other on weekends"

"Yeah but I mean, now that you have an apartment, I was thinking that we could meet on week days too" Jeongguk sounded a little hesitant and shy.

Taehyung chuckled. But inside he was burning with anxiety. It wasn't as if Taehyung didn't want to spend time with Jeongguk. He did. There's no other person he'd rather spend his boring evenings with. Jeongguk's mere presence brought Taehyung happiness.

But Taehyung can't have everything he wants. That's not how the universe works.

"Don't tell me" Taehyung's smirk was playful but forced. He leaned in to Jeongguk's ear. "That you can't stay five days without daddy touching you?"

Jeongguk gasped.

"It's not that!" Jeongguk's eyes wide with embarrassment. His cheeks a dark hue of pink, adding to the heat caused by the tipsiness. "It's just spending time with you makes me happy" Jeongguk said in a small voice.

"It's the same for me, little one" Taehyung said.

"Then let's spend more time together. When you're free"

"I'm busy these days, Jeongguk"

Jeongguk sighed. "Can't you put some effort in to this? It's not like you're busy on every evening. I don't-"

"Jeongguk"

"-want to bother you but I would love to spent more time with you. Even if we don't fuck. It's just-"

"Jeongguk"

"-it feels so amazing when I'm spending time with you. I just wish we could bond more and-"

"Jeongguk!" Taehyung warned. Jeongguk instantly stopped speaking and looked at Taehyung.

"Jeongguk" Taehyung said, softly this time. Taehyung wanted to bury himself somewhere. Jeongguk was losing control. This was his heart speaking, not his mind. It was so, so obvious that Jeongguk had caught feelings. Even a toddler could tell. But this can't go on. Taehyung let out an exasperated sigh.

"Wh-what is it?" Jeongguk sounded anxious.

"We can't do this" Taehyung whispered, unable to meet the younger boy's eyes.

"What do you mean?"

"What are we, Jeongguk?"

Jeongguk was dumbfounded. "We are...enemies with benefits?"

"Exactly. Forget the enemy part. We just two people who take care of each other's needs. Because we lust for each other. And that's all we should do. To start this kind of thing was a mistake in the first place. But we wanted each other and that's okay. But bonding, Jeongguk? That wasn't part of the plan"

Jeongguk was silent.

"I'm sorry. It's not like I don't want to spend time with you. But the only thing you are to me is a fuck buddy. Nothing more. We might have some friendship and I'm happy about that. We aren't in a relationship, Jeongguk. We aren't dating. I'm sorry but-"Now or never. "-I don't have feelings for you"

Jeongguk gulped. He had his head hung low, not meeting Taehyung's eyes. He had taken his hand off of Taehyung's knee and was fiddling with his fingers.

"I know. It's not like I have feelings like that for you eith-"

Taehyung laughed, humorlessly, making Jeongguk look up at him.

"Oh please. I know you like me"

The words were out of Taehyung's mouth before he could decipher the meaning of them. Or the consequences of saying them aloud.

Jeongguk was watching Taehyung with wide eyes, horror-stricken.

"No I don't" Jeongguk said, voice trembling. Tears had pooled his eyes and it hurt to see Jeongguk like this.

Taehyung was speechless. There was no going back now. He couldn't run away from this. "Jeongguk" Taehyung whispered. "I know you do. You told me"

"I told you?!" Jeongguk shouted. Taehyung was startled at the sudden raise of voice. "When did I ever fucking tell you!?"

"That night at my party"

Jeongguk let out a humorless laugh. "I was drunk for fuck's sake! You believe my words when I'm drunk? I wasn't in my right mind!"

"Jeongguk please" Taehyung whispered. "Drunk words are sober thoughts. Besides, it's obvious, Jeongguk. You're an open book when you're with me"

Jeongguk was silent for a few moments.

"You're wrong" He said at last.

"Baby-"

"Don't baby me!"

"Jeongguk, why else would you ask to bond? If the only thing we're supposed to is fuck?"

"Because!" Jeongguk was tongue-tied.

Tears had started cascading down Jeongguk's cheeks.

"Baby-"Taehyung tried to reach out to wipe away the tears but his hands were slapped away by Jeongguk.

"Fuck off" Jeongguk said. "My feeling are my business. They have nothing to do with you!"

"Jeongguk listen" Taehyung said.

"No."

"Please, baby" Taehyung pleaded. "Listen to me. There's nothing wrong with one man falling for another. But what's wrong is the people around us. Our families. We shouldn't develop feelings for each other. We can't. They won't allow us to be together"

"I know" Jeongguk's voice was a mere whisper. Tears kept trialing down his face freely. "I'm sorry"

"Don't apologize for something you can't control"

Silence stretched between them. The only sound that dared to touch the sound of silence was Jeongguk's sniffles.

Taehyung felt dreadful. He couldn't bear to see Jeongguk like this. This was what he feared. The heartbreak. The tears. But Taehyung knew, the later the revelation came, the more tears that would follow.

"If this was some other situation, another life, another family background, would you love me?" Jeongguk said.

Taehyung was silent.

"I would want nothing more than to fall in love with you" Taehyung said after a while.

"But" he said. "I don't do love, Jeongguk. I don't do relationships"

Jeongguk looked baffled and like he was going to cry again.

"It's not you, Jeongguk. It's me. You deserve someone better" Taehyung said. "I can't love you. I don't know how"

Jeongguk sniffled again. Fresh tears started to run down his cheeks again. They trialed down so freely, with no obstacles as someone's hands to wipe them off.

"If-if you knew that you wouldn't like me you- why did you treat me like a lover? Why did you lead me on when you knew that you'd never fall in love with me? How could you! How-"A sniffle. "How could you lie to me and tell me you care for me and then just throw me down a drain like this?"

Taehyung was star-struck. He was trying to process Jeongguk's words. But with every word that registered on Taehyung's mind, more and more dread filled him up. His heart felt heavy. He was drowning in despair.

"My father was right. All you Kim's do is ruin other people's lives. I should've listened to him when he told me that you'll never be any good to me. I was a fool to not listen to him" Jeongguk continued. "I should've seen that all I ever was to you was some plaything. Something that you could throw away after you got tired of it. That there's no us. There never was"

Taehyung was in tears.

"That's not true. I ca-" Taehyung started. I care for you

"Shut up! Just... shut up" Jeongguk shouted and got up from his chair and took a wobbly step away from where Taehyung sat.

"I always knew I would end up getting hurt" Jeongguk said in a small voice.

He started walking away from Taehyung, towards the exit door. Taehyung couldn't do anything but watch.

Jeongguk stopped at the exit, right before he opened the door. He looked back at Taehyung, who was watching him, teary eyed. Broken.

"I love you"

And with those words, he left.

~*~

Hope I didn't ruin Christmas for ya'll
Happy holidays!
ILY