When Joel stumbles back to Grian's house, his clothes and his hair and his everything dripping wet, Grian laughs.

Joel thinks this is very rude. Yes, Guardian easily beat him in a fight (if it can even be called that), yes Guardian wasn't even fazed by the fact that he blew up a building, yes Guardian set his hostage free with as little as a spray of water, but that doesn't mean Grian gets to laugh at him!

He does try his best, he swears, but that annoying little fishy fuck always manages to dodge his attacks, to tease him to the point where he doesn't realise the fight is over, to act like beating him is a walk in the park (which it probably is to Guardian). But that doesn't mean Grian can think it's funny!

The first thing Grian says is an amused, "Ouch."

Joel says nothing, crossing his arms and making direct eye contact with Grian as he sits down on Grian's couch, his clothes still soaked through.

"Joel, I got that couch last week!" Grian yelps. "You're getting it all wet!" Joel turns his head away with a huff.

"Don't make fun of me then."

"I wasn't! I said 'ouch'. Now I'm going to make fun of you." Joel just glares. His hands are alight with flames now and they're burning parts of his trenchcoat away, steam rising from the dripping fabric, but he still sits there stubbornly, waiting for Grian's insults. "How bad was it?" Grian asks curiously after a moment and the Blazeborn lets out a dramatic sigh.

"Awful! Awful. Terrible. Bad. Stupid. Dumb. Guardian sucks and he's the worst." He huffs, scowling and pulling his mask down.

"What happened?" Grian asks curiously, adjusting his scarlet-feathered wings so he can sit in a more comfortable position.

"Well, the plan was going great, amazing, fantastic. I blew up a shop, I had a hostage, I was gonna shoot Guardian when he tried to save the hostage but then he kept distracting me by making fun of me. Me! He had the nerve to make fun of me!" Joel protests, uncrossing his arms and standing up as he tries to put out his now-aflame trenchcoat.

"I mean, if I'd beaten you in every fight before, I'd also make fun of you." The hybrid next to him reasoned, an amused smile on his face.

"Shut up! It's not my fault he can control water- which directly combats my power- and- and he's very strong. I mean, a punch from him hurts! Have you seen how muscly he is? Probably from swimming I dunno. He's a smelly idiot and he sucks and I'll get him one day." Joel mumbles, scowling.

"Muscly?" Grian echoes, one eyebrow raised. "Why were you looking at his muscles?"

"I- no! No, don't look at me like that!" The Blazeborn scowls, his hair setting alight. "It's not like that! It's- it's hard not to notice someone's strong when they're constantly kicking your ass, okay? Shut up." He pulled his smoking trenchcoat off, dropping it on the floor and stamping the flames out. "Great, now I have to fix that!" Joel crouches down, poking a finger through the hole in his clothes that he just burnt in his irritation.

"Whatever you say. He's a hero, remember. Don't get attached." Grian reminds him, humming under his breath.

Joel doesn't know how to respond to this, and he has to take a moment to think.

Why in the name of all the gods would Grian think he's attached to Guardian? He hates him. He wants him dead.

Guardian is annoying. His voice and his jokes and his constant cheerful tone (why can't he just take things seriously?). He's always quiet but he's also so loud. Joel's never heard him shout but he's never heard anyone's words so clearly.

And that smile.

Well. Joel's never seen his smile- that would  defeat the point of that weird gas mask thing Guardian wears- but he can hear the smile in Guardian's voice. He can hear that smile when Guardian's joking about whatever Joel has done, when Guardian's exchanging insults with him, when Guardian's laughing at Joel's reactions.

He's never seen Guardian's smile but he's thought about what it might look like, imagined what it might look like. He's imagined how the corner of Guardian's lips might twitch upwards as the smile starts to form, the way he might smirk to himself as he teases Joel, the grin he might wear when he's laughing at Joel's fury.

So maybe he doesn't hate Guardian's smile but he hates the idea of it, the idea that it's their, the way it changes his enemy's voice and crinkles the guardian hybrid's blue eyes up at the corners.

And his attacks! So annoying. How on Earth is Joel meant to dodge water? Yeah, he can maybe set Guardian on fire if he gets in a lucky shot, but Guardian can just summon water and put it out. Maybe Joel just needs more fire.

Or maybe he needs some way to take Guardian's powers out of the equation.

Either way, Guardian is incredibly annoying to fight with. He moves with grace. He fights like he's done it his whole life, like his weapon is truly an extension of his body, like taking down every villain who crosses his path is an easy task, a chore if anything. And Joel hates it. Guardian's been a hero for what, two years? Joel's been a villain for five! And yet that smarmy bastard bests him every time.

He hates Guardian, so why would Grian imply otherwise?

Joel only realises he's been staring into space when Grian shakes him with an amused smirk. "Joel? Don't get attached. Is all I'm saying."

Joel immediately snaps back. "Why would I get attached? He's annoying and he makes fun of me and he doesn't even try to catch me he's that much of a loser and-"

"Okay, okay, I'm convinced." Grian says with a chuckle. "Sit down, you aren't on fire anymore." His gaze lingers on a small flame on the back of Joel's neck and he reaches out to wave the flame away. "See?"

Joel sits down, rolling his eyes before sighing. "Yeah, yeah, whatever." He quickly changes the subject. "How was Pearl and Gem's wedding?"

"Oh, it was great. Lots of nice pictures. I'll show you some of them later. Very sweet. I didn't cry though." Grian says solemnly.

"You totally cried."

"Okay, maybe a little. I mean- it's not every day your baby sister gets married, y'know?" Grian says thoughtfully.

"Pearl would kill you if she heard you call her that." Joel says with a smirk.

"Oh, I know, she's terrifying both as a villain and as my sister, but I love her." Grian says with a (very goofy) grin.

Joel pulls a face. "Gods, I'm glad I don't have any siblings, I wouldn't be caught dead being all sappy like that." The brunette deadpans.

"Maybe some sappiness would do you some good, Mr Tough Guy." Joel briefly considers setting Grian's wings on fire but decides against it.

Joel just listens as Grian chatters about Pearl's wedding, not paying much attention. He's still wondering why on earth Grian would tell him not to get fond of Guardian. He'd kill him if he got the chance, he knows he would, it shouldn't even be a concern for his friend.

The villain reluctantly listens to Grian talk for a bit and then goes off to plan his revenge.