This is already such a disaster. I haven't been able to break things off with Meagan because of the damn 'wedding tradition', I wasn't allowed to see her since she left this morning and now I'm stuck in a tux in a dressing room. In the little white church that I wish I could burn to the ground, I hate it here.

I'm leaning against the vanity, staring at myself in the mirror. This tux is uncomfortable and the shoes are too tight, my hair looks stupid and just want to strip out of this thing and run as far away from here as possible. I know Patrick said everything was going to be fine and in a sense I still believe him, but as time ticks by I believe him a little less.

I still had his image stuck in my head, the memories of what we've done all weekend, how ruined that hotel mattress must be by now. The tingling feeling from his lips still lingered and the taste of him never left my mouth. I mulled over the idea that I may never see him again and my heart sank every time it crossed my mind. If I had things my way, Patrick and I would still be in that hotel room tangled up in the sheets and talking about the fucking weather or something. Cuddled up and smiling at each other like a couple of idiots.

Why did life have to be so cruel? I get a taste of something I really want then have to go back to my shitty life. I got to be myself for two days, but why couldn't I be myself for the rest of the week? Or until the end of time? It's like buying your favorite candy then running out of it before you could really savor the taste. Or, I don't know, dying. Patrick was sweeter than anything I've ever had.

I plopped down into the chair that sat in front of the vanity, slouching in the seat and burying my face in my hands, groaning in frustration into my palms. Everything was so fucked up. I didn't want to go through with this wedding, I know Meagan is probably getting her makeup done and really excited for this but I'm not. I feel absolutely sick to my stomach. If I was to tell anyone how much I felt like vomiting they'd say I'm simply nervous. But I'm not. I'm scared, there's a difference. None of this is okay. Maybe I should just... I don't even know what the hell I should do at this point.

knock, knock, knock.

Great. Now someone is probably coming to tell me it's time to go out there and stand at the alter. I was tempted to ignore them but I knew they'd just come in anyway. With the release of an elongated sigh, I call out for whoever it is at the door to come in, then I rest my head on the surface of the vanity. The door opens and I hear someone step inside before it closes with a soft click. At first, the person doesn't say anything and I almost believe everything I heard was my imagination. But then I lift my head and glance up at the mirror in front of me, a look of slight irritation on my face. Until I realize who it is that's standing behind me.

I immediately get up from the chair and turn around, my mouth wide open in shock and from my lack of words. The only thing I managed to choke out was, "P-Patrick?"

His hands are stuffed into the pockets of his dark jeans, a smile on his face and a glimmer in his eyes. "Hey, Pete."

"What are you- how did you even get in?"

"I told the guy at the door that I was a friend of yours and was going to help you get ready." Patrick shrugs.

"And he let you in? Just like that?"

A chuckle escapes his perfect lips as he nods his head. "I'm here aren't I?"

I finally take it upon myself to rush over to him and embrace him because, damn, it felt like I was seeing him for the first time in years. When I had to leave yesterday I just felt entirely empty and drained, like all the life had been sucked out of me. I have no idea why I felt that way but it would eat away at me up until now.

Patrick stumbled backward from the impact of my body slamming into his, wrapping his arms around my waist. "You look good in a tux."

"I hate this goddamn thing." I respond, pulling back to look at the other man directly. "What are you doing here anyway? I thought you were going to New York."

"I am."

I get that sinking feeling in my chest again, looking away a moment to steady my heart. "Oh. Just here to say goodbye then, huh?"

Patrick shakes his head with a smug smirk on his face. "Nope." But what the hell is he so smug about?

He only seems to smile wider when he sees the confusion thread throughout my features. "No? Then... what are you really doing here?"

Patrick simply leans forward, pressing his forehead against mine. It's weird how that simple action makes my worries turn into nothing. Like he just made them all vanish into thin air, I forgot what I was even supposed to be doing today. And I'm currently questioning why I'm wearing this itchy ass suit.

"I want you to come with me." He murmurs, his breath gently tickling my lips. It makes me want to kiss him, and I- wait, hold on, what did he just say?

"You... you what?" My eyes widen and I have to take my eyes off of his mouth so I can concentrate on his words. And I almost have to question my sanity because I may be hearing things.

"Only if you want to, of course. But I'd love it if you'd come to New York with me. Maybe if-"

"Yes." I interrupted. I'd give up anything just to be able to spend more time with him. I felt free when he was around, like I didn't have a care in the world. The feeling made me soar in almost the same way Patrick did. Patrick probably made me sore rather than soar, but in the best of ways.

"Yes? Really? I honestly thought it would take more persuading than that." A soft laugh seeped from between his lips and I couldn't help but smile in return.

"Nope, I fucking hate it here. I'd rather be wherever you are." I gently connected my lips to his and I felt him smiling against me. And in that moment every doubt, every insecurity, every bad decision I had in my mind was completely gone.

And that's how I ended up on a road trip to a state several hundred miles away, but it was an amazing voyage. At least now the weekend didn't seem to end since I had Patrick by my side. That's how I met his best friends, Joe and Andy, and how they soon became my best friends as well. How I got to wake up next to a handsome face every morning and sleep next to it at night. How I basically became emotionally attached to a 'one night stand'. I am so glad I decided to drink myself half dead that night.

And I left my parents a nice little note explaining why I was gone and why I ditched Meagan. Why I decided to embarrass both of our families. I wasn't embarrassed at all, I felt fucking great, so I didn't give a shit how they felt. I wrote it in blue pen on a yellow sticky note.

Dear Mom & Dad,

Yo, Pete here.
Fuck you all, I'm gay.
Later bitches

-Wentz out