Song: Will Be Back (Scarlet Heart Ryeo OST) - Im Sun Hae 

Protect

We still tried to rush Damon to the hospital, hoping that there's still a chance for him to live. But then... he was eventually pronounced dead on arrival.

I didn't stop on crying the moment the doctor told us that he was gone. Nagmakaawa ako na gumawa pa sila ng paraan para iligtas ang buhay ni Damon. Pero hindi na talaga kaya dahil hindi na siya umabot.

"Shock him again, please!" I begged. "Shock him again! He is not dead. Please... please do something!"

Halos ngumawa na ako dito sa emergency room para lang pagbigyan nila ang gusto ko. I still want Damon to live! He don't deserve to die!

"We did everything we can. But he ready lost too much blood causing his body to weaken. Natamaan rin ng bala ang lungs niya kaya siya mas lalong nahirapang huminga. I'm sorry for your loss, Ma'am." Ani doktor.

Umiling ako ng paulit-ulit. I covered my mouth with my palm. Hinawakan ni Daddy ang balikat ko.

"We can't do anything about it anymore, Aria..."

"No, no, no! This can't be it! He can't be dead!" lumapit ako sa doktor at hinawakan ang white coat niya. "Please, tell me that you can still do something about it! Please!"

The doctor only sighed heavily. The hope that I have left in me quickly vanished the moment he shakes his head at me. Nanginig ang labi ko.

"No..." I mumbled.

I loosened my grip on his coat. Yumuko ako at dahan-dahang bumagsak sa sahig nang dahil sa sakit na nararamdaman ng dahil sa pagkawala ni Damon. I started trembling.

I feel like I just lost a family member. It was the kind of pain that makes you feel like you're hopeless; that you have no choice but to cry because everything just doesn't make sense and it hurts.

I was the one to blame for his death. He died because of me. He died saving me.

Damon did nothing but to be good to me. Nang mawala si Axel sa kanyang trabaho, siya ang naging takbuhan ko. He's always there for me. Now I feel like a bad person because I didn't do much to save his life.

I started wailing. Wala na akong pakealam pa kung pagtitinginan ako ng tao. They have no idea how much it hurts. I lost a friend. Siya iyong klase ng kaibigan na matagal ko nang hinahangad.

I got him so easily, but lost him so quickly.

Hindi ko rin akalain na magkakaroon ako ng kaibigan na kagaya niya. He's always been so supportive of me. Tinanggap niya kung ano lang ang kaya kong ibigay sakanya.

He loved me from afar. He still continued to love me even if he knew that I love someone else. Naging masaya parin siya para sa amin kahit na ang kapalit noon ay ang tanggapin niya na hindi ko masusuklian ang pagmamahal niya.

Lumuhod si Axel sa tabi ko. He wrapped his arms around me. Isinandal niya ang ulo siya sa akin at pinakalma. He rubbed my shoulders gently.

"Hush now, Aria. You know Damon wouldn't want to see you like this." He said.

Hinawakan ko ang braso niya at mariing ipinikit ang aking mga mata.

"He's dead," my voice broke. "Damon is dead, Axel."

"I know... I know..."

He kissed my temple and rests his cheeks against my head. Marahan niyang hinaplos ang buhok ko.

"He's dead because of me."

"No... don't blame yourself, Aria... this is not your fault. Damon did what he had to do. W-We all tried to save him... but it was just too late."

Tulala ako sa kawala habang inaayos ni Daddy ang pagpapalibing ni Damon. Inutos niya na rin kay General Donovan na ipaalam sa pamilya ni Damon ang nangyari sakanya.

I cannot even imagine the pain that they're feeling when they get the news. Though Damon doesn't really talk about his family that much. I know deep down that he loves them so much. Alam ko na lahat ng ginagawa niya ay para rin sakanila.

Axel didn't leave my side as we wait for them to let us see Damon in the morgue. I feel anxious as I wait longer. Magkahawak ang kamay namin ni Axel habang hinihintay naming lumabas ang magpapapasok sa amin sa loob.

This won't happen if only I didn't let myself sneak out of the palace just so I could be with the people who didn't even consider me as a friend. Nang gabing iyon ay wala akong ideya na maseset-up pala ako sa isang bagay na hindi ko naman ginawa.

Because of that... my life is always in danger. At nang dahil rin sa gabing iyon, wala na si Damon ngayon.

Kung may labis man akong pinagsisisihan sa buhay ko, iyon ay ang pagpunta ko doon. Ngunit kahit na anong gawin kong pagsisisi, hindi ko na mababawi pa iyon. Nangyari na ang dapat mangyari.

If only I wasn't desperate to have friends. If only I didn't force myself to fit in with them... then none of this would happen. 

Hindi ko man mabibigyan pa ng katarungan ang pagkamatay ni Damon, sapat na malaman ko na patay na rin ang pumatay sakanya. Unang hakbang na rin ng pagkamit ko ng katarungan sa pagpatay sakanya ang pagkakakulong ng kaibigan niyang trinaydor siya.

Joseph didn't try to escape when he was being arrested. We willingly surrendered himself. Humingi rin siya ng tawad sa amin at kay Axel.

Kahit na binaril niya ang sariling kapatid para maligtas ako, hindi ko parin makuhang patawarin siya sa kasalanang ginawa niya. He should've known better.

Bilang nakakatandang kapatid ni Jake, sana pinigilan na niya ang masamang balak nito. He has a decent job for God's sake! I can't believe he set that aside to help his brother with his demonic plan.

Nawala lang ang lahat ng iniisip ko nang pinayagan na kaming pumasok ng morgue para makita si Damon. We were about to approach the door when Axel held me back.

I raised a brow at him.

"Are you sure you can do this?" may halong pag-aalala sa kanyang mga mata.

I nod my head slowly. "I have to do this. I feel about his death. Hindi dapat n-nangyari sakanya 'to."

Axel sighed heavily. Tumango siya at hinawakan ang pisngi ko. He stared right into my eyes as he gently caress my cheek. I leaned my cheek against his palm. I shut my eyes.

"I just want you to know that if you need someone to talk to... I'm here. You don't have to go through this alone. I'll be with you wherever you go."

I pressed my lips into a thin line as I nod my head.

"I know..."

"Promise me... that when there is something wrong, I'll be the first one you will call. I promise to try and make everything right."

I nod my head again. Hindi ko binitawan ang kamay niya habang papasok kami ni Axel sa loob. Agad akong napahawak sa bibig nang tinanggal ng diener ang puting tela na nakataklob sa katawan ni Damon. Binaba niya ito hanggang sa dibdib nito.

Damon's body used to be full of life, he was always smiling, always cracking some jokes. Now... it was cold and lifeless. His body is now blue, meaning... his soul really left his body.

He is really gone. Damon is dead.

Hindi ko naiwasang mapahikbi muli. Hinawakan ni Axel ang balikat ko habang papalapit kami sa wala nang buhay na si Damon.

"I am so sorry..." I whispered.

I ran my fingers through his hair. I promise that he will always be remembered. His memory will live forever.

"You died a hero, Damon," I breathed hard. "I'm grateful for everything you did for me. Thank you for saving me..."

Axel pulled me closer to him when I started crying again. I hug him tighter as if I was telling him that it's okay to hurt. Alam kong nasasaktan rin siya sa pagkawala ng kaibigan. He's just not used to showing his emotions but I can feel it... Damon's death pains him.

Nang malaman ni Mommy kung nasaang ospital kami ay agad siyang sumugod patungo doon. She felt relieved when she saw me.

"Thank God, you're safe!" mahigpit niya akong niyakap.

I can see in her face that she was really worried for me. I wonder how they felt when they received the video that Vicente forced me to do.

Hinawakan niya ang magkabila kong pisngi nang kumalas siya mula sa pagkakayakap sa akin.

"I'm glad that you weren't hurt. I was so worried for you! Hindi ko alam ang gagawin kung sakaling may gawin nga silang masama sa'yo."

Tipid lang akong ngumiti sakanya. She hugged me again. Bumagsak ang tingin ko sa aking mga daliri habang magkayakap kami.

I checked my back a while ago. I don't know how will I tell them about this. These cuts were a reminder of how bad I suffered from the hands of Vicente.

I couldn't help but hiss as I touch my wound. It looks deep. May mga tahi pa iyon at wala akong ideya kung paano ko iyon tatanggalin nang hindi ko sinasabi sakanila ang tungkol doon.

Sigurado ako na dahil sa nangyari, mas lalong maghihigpit ang seguridad ko. Mas gugustohin ni Daddy na bantayan ako. He wouldn't want to risk my life again.

Sumapit na rin ang libing ni Damon matapos ang isang linggong paglamay sa pagkamatay niya. Hindi na namin naabutan ang pamilya ni Damon nang magpunta sila ng ospital dahil mas pinili na ni Daddy na iuwi ako upang masiguro ang seguridad ko.

That's why I tried to be there during one of his wake. Mahirap nga lang pilitin ang sarili na pumunta dahil hindi ko parin maiwasan na sisihin ang sarili sa pagkawala na.

I couldn't look straight into his family's eyes without feeling bad. Kahit na sinasabi nila na wala akong kasalanan sa pagkamatay ni Damon, hindi ko parin maalis sa isipan ko na ako ang dahilan kung bakit siya pinaglalamayan ngayon.

He died for me... that's what I keep on telling myself.

Knowing that Vicente managed to get away, I'm sure he still has a plan on how to get even after what my father did. I have this feeling that he will get back at me, bigger and stronger this time. I can't afford someone to die because of me again.

Tahimik akong nanonood habang tinatabunan na ng lupa ang kabaong ni Damon. His mother just kept on wailing a while ago, kinailangan pang pakalmahin para lang matigil sa pag-iyak.

The Philippine Flag really looks good on his coffin. It is only right to have it on his coffin because he is a hero. Namatay siya habang ginagawa ang sinumpaang tungkulin niya.

I can't cry anymore because I've had enough of those for the past days.

Nang matapos ang libing ni Damon ang nanatili kami sa gilid ng tent. Axel snaked his arms around my waist. He sniffed my hair. Inangat ko naman ang tingin ko sakanya habang tinagilid niya naman ang kanyang ulo upang magkatinginan kami.

"You want to go home now?" he asked.

I nod my head. He smiled a little at me before he nods his head. Hinalikan niya muna ang pisngi ko bago niya ako ayain pabalik sa sasakyan.

He never left my side ever since I went back home. Sa tuwing may pagkakataon na pupwede niya akong samahan, lagi talaga siyang andyan.

Even if I wanted so bad to tell him what I've been through, I couldn't bring myself to do it. I'm still scared. Every time I close my eyes, all I could remember was the torture that Damon and I have been through.

Jake also haunts me in my dreams which makes me more terrified. I don't know what tomorrow may bring. Malay natin, sa susunod na araw, may mangyari ulit na masama.

It's like I no longer have the freedom to do something that I want. I will always have this thought in my head that Vicente's syndicate might attack me anytime.

Pagbalik namin ng palasyo ay nakatanggap ako ng tawag mula kay Kuya Sven. I heard him sighed heavily when I answered the call.

"Oh, thank God! You finally answered! I've been trying to reach you for days in case you didn't know."

I know that he's been calling me. I just didn't feel like answering because I was always lost in my thoughts. Baka hindi lang kami makakapagusap ng maayos dahil wala ako sa kundisyon na makapagfocus.

"I know... Sorry kung ngayon ko lang naisipan sumagot." I apologized.

"It's fine. I just wanted to ask how are you doing?"

"Uhm... I... I'm still trying to cope up with it. It still feels like it only happened yesterday."

Inipit ko ang telepono sa pagitan ng aking tainga at balikat. Pumasok ako ng banyo at tsaka tumalikod. Inangat ko ang aking damit upang tingnan ang aking mga sugat.

I have to tell them about this. I just can't keep on hiding this away from them.

"I can't imagine what you've been through, Aria. I'm not going to force you to tell everything to me but I just want you to know that I am always here for you. If you need someone to talk to, don't hesitate to call me. If you want me to come over, I will. I don't want you to go through this alone."

Umayos ako ng tayo. I put the gauze back again at tsaka binaba ko na ang suot kong damit. Kinuha ko ang telepono ko at hinawakan ito ng maigi. I stared at my reflection.

I can see it in my eyes. I can see how exhausted I am from everything that's happening. Sana lang talaga ay tumigil na sila kahit na alam kong imposibleng mangyari 'yun. Handa kong sabihin sakanila ang sinabi sa akin ni Jake. Gusto ko nang maalis sa gulong ito. Gusto ko nang mabuhay ng tahimik.

"I know, Kuya Sven... thank you..." I sighed. "I just didn't have the strength to talk about it now. Damon's death still haunts me every time. Sa tingin ko hindi na mawawala pa iyong takot ko."

"Don't worry, Aria. Axel is there to protect you. I know he will not let anything bad to happen to you."

"But I don't want him to do what Damon did for me. I don't want him hurt. If I could only protect him from them, then I would. Ayoko nang may mamatay pa nang dahil sa akin."

Nagpakawala siya ng malalim na hininga.

"No one will die. It will all be over soon. Trust me. I know Tito Leon is doing everything he can to end all of this the right way."

I nod my head. My father stopped the media from making headlines about what happened to me. He wants me out of the limelight. He wants us to deal with this issue on our own. He doesn't want the media to get involved with it because there is a tendency that it will only become worse.

Pagkatapos ng pakikipag-usap ko kay Kuya Sven ay ipinatawag ako ni Daddy sa kanyang opisina. Agad akong nagpunta doon.

Mommy's already there when I entered. Sabay silang napabaling ng tingin sa akin.

"You need something, Dad?" I asked.

"Maupo ka, hija." Aniya habang inilalahad ang upuan sa tapat ni Mommy.

Mukhang kanina pa siya nandito. May pinag-usapan siguro sila na maaaring may gawin tungkol sa akin. Hinintay ko silang sabihin nila sa akin iyon.

"We've been thinking, Aria..." my father started. "Given what happened to you, I couldn't afford to risk your life again. I want you out of this. I have to deal with this on my own."

Kumunot ang noo ko. "What do you mean by that?"

"Kung kailangan ka naming ilayo, gagawin namin. This country is no longer safe for you, anak. I will not be able to do my work properly kung lagi kong maiisip na baka nasa peligro ulit ang buhay mo. That's why we need to bring you to somewhere safe. Somewhere they couldn't reach you."

My mouth parted. Does that mean they want to move me out of the country?

"Please know that we're only doing this for your safety. Hindi man namin gusto na malayo ka sa amin, pero kailangan, anak. Hindi ko na kakayanin pa kung may mangyari ulit na masama sa'yo." Ani Mommy.

My father nods his head. "We're thinking of bringing you to Switzerland. That's the safest place that we could ever think of."

Nagugulohan parin ako pero hinayaan ko siyang magpatuloy.

"We have a property there. Doon ka na muna manatili habang hindi pa natatapos ang issue na 'to."

"What if it won't end, Dad? Does that mean I have to live there forever."

Agad siyang umiling.

"I will do my best to end this. Just trust me, Aria. I know what I'm doing. I wouldn't ask this favor from you if I didn't think about it through."

"Hayaan mo, anak, hindi ka naman nag-iisa." My mother leaned closer to me to hold my hand.

Kumunot ang noo ko at nagugulohan siyang tiningnan.

"W-What do you mean?"

"Axel will be with you. Sa paraang iyon, mas mapapanatag ako na wala na talagang mangyayaring masama sa'yo. Gusto ko na may kasama ka na kaya kang protektahan."

My eyes widened. Really? Me and Axel? In the middle of nowhere? Why is it so hard to believe that they would let us do that?

"Please... this is the only way. Let me protect you. At isa pa... hindi ka naman malulungkot doon dahil kasama mo si Axel." Sabi niya sabay mapaglaro akong nginisian.

I rolled my eyes and scoffed. Fine, Dad. I will.