Mary stepped up onto the scale, glancing at Stephen as he fixed the scale, reading her weight and writing notes down. It had been five months since Winnie died in Mary's arms. Resulting in the mother falling into a deep depression and losing her will to eat. Stephen saw his mentor and friend slowly lose the will to stay alive after losing her daughter so he stepped up and took control of her health. He made a eating schedule for her and he would have her carry a notebook around that she would write when she ate and now much of it that she ate whether it was two bites of it or twenty. Stephen wanted to know everything that went into her system because he wouldn't stand for the woman he grew up admiring who was full of life and joy, wither away like dust.

"You gained three pounds. I'm proud of you, Star." Stephen says as he motions her to sit on the bed. Stephen had a photographic memory, so learning new things and remembering them were easy for him, so it gave him free time for hobbies. One hobby he picked up during his training under Mary as a doctor was learning different languages. When he learned Latin, he found the meaning of his mentor's name, 'Star of the Sea'. So he nicknamed her Star, he found it fitting because before she lost Winnie, she was the star that would light up every room she walked into, Mary had that way about her with anyone she met, she made them feel safe and loved no matter the circumstances in their lives. And when Winnie died, the light in Mary's life went out and no one could bring it back. No matter how hard they tried.

Mary smiled as she looked up at her friend, pulling her baggy sweatshirt on over her head. Since she had lost nearly half her weight in five months, she had started to always be cold. She had no fat on her body to keep herself warm even on the hottest days in New York. "Where does that put me now?" She asks.

"eighty-three pounds." He says with a small smile on his face, "Better than the last time you came in." He teases half heartedly as he pulls the stool up to sit across from her, "Now if we could only get you back up to your original weight, Star." He murmurs, taking her hand in his, "You're getting there. All of us are so happy that you're eating more than protein shakes now."

Mary shrugs, looking out the window that overlooked the city, "I don't think i'll ever be back to my original weight, Steph." She says solemnly, "I'm eighty-three pounds, I was one-twenty.." She trails off, taking her hair out of the bun she had it in, falling limp onto her shoulders. Her eyes had sunken inward as well as her cheeks when she lost all her weight. Her ribs were prominently shown in everything she wore other than her baggy sweatshirts and shirts. Her collarbone was also a prominent feature on her body now. Mary felt self conscious about everything she wore, not wanting people to stare at her so she would often opt to stay in her room with her books.

"You will with time, rushing the weight gain will only make you worse. I know you know that your stomach has shrunken due to you not eating. You need to slowly intake more to get it normal again." Stephen reminds her when the door to his makeshift office in the tower opens, revealing a worried brother.

"Everything go well?" Steve asks as Stephen motions him to come inside. The male doctor nods, handing the super solider his notes. Steve reads them over and his blue eyes widen, "You gained three pounds? Lizzie, that's amazing!"

Mary shakes her head, chuckling at her brother's antics, "I know it's a big deal for all of you, but I just don't see the point in celebrating three pounds." She states bluntly, "It's not like i'm healthy and back to my normal weight."

"No, but you're getting there." Steve says, trying to convince his sister, "Things like this take time, which i'm sure Strange has told you before."

Mary stands up, pulling on her Ugg's as she grabs her water bottle filled with orange juice, "Maybe, but it still doesn't change the fact that I don't want to eat. Ever." She says to the two men, "I'm never hungry. When I do eat, it comes back up if I eat too fast which only makes me not want to eat ever again. It's an endless cycle." She snaps.

Mary was frustrated that she wasn't meeting the goals and milestones she had set in her mind by this time in the year. It was almost June and she only weighed the size of an eleven year old child. She knew the progress would be slow, but she didn't realize that it would be the pace of a snail.

Tears pick Mary's eyes as she stares, frustrated at her brother and friend, "You don't get how badly I want to eat, but I can't. I physically am unable now to eat full meals. I can maybe tolerate one egg and a piece of toast." She says, tears falling from her eyes and crushing her brother's heart as he watches his sister struggle.

"I miss eating my favorite foods. I hate the way people stare at me like i'm some sick person that should be locked in a hospital. I'm tired of all of it!" She shouts, her arms going in the air to emphasize her point, "There are days where I just stare at the food in front of me and beg myself to eat it, but I can't. I can't eat anything! I just want it all to end."

"It will get better, you just have to-" Steve says as he steps closer to his sister but she backs away from him shaking her head as she cuts him off.

"No! That is not what I mean, Steven." She grits out, tears streaming her face, "I want my life to end. I don't see the point in living anymore.." Mary murmurs, looking at her brother's shocked expression, "Schmidt should have injected you with the ageless serum, not me. What do I offer to anyone here? A shoulder to cry on? I'm useless to the team, I bring nothing to the table. I am dead weight." She snaps as she storms out of the room.

Present Day

"The news is loving you guys. Nobody else is. There's been no official call for Banner's arrest but it's in the air." Maria says solemnly on the jet's communication's screen. When Mary came to, she was being held in Tony's arms, around her was everyone else in pretty much the same stupor she was in. Her biggest concern was her daughter and brother. Steve was okay, but Becca was a whole different story. The teenager was in hysterics, she wouldn't speak English, only Russian as Steve held onto her tightly to try to get her to calm down. Tony couldn't stand to see his sister and his Mama Ree like they are in this very moment. He had never seen Becca like this and it scared him along with everyone else to their very core.

"Stark Relief Foundation?" Tony asks quietly as Clint flew the jet to an undisclosed location.

"Already on the scene. How's the team?" Maria answers softly. Wanda got into Bruce's mind and drove him into one of the worst the world had seen in years. Tony had to bring out Veronica, the suit he and Bruce built together to try and take out the Hulk for this very case. The two destroyed a city in the process. Which angered many people and governments.

Tony looks down at Mary who it seated on his lap, securely wrapped in a blanket and his arms as he holds her close to keep her from shaking. She had woken up possibly twenty minutes ago, but hadn't spoken anything other than 'i'm a good mother.' in her stupor. "Everyone's.. We took a hit." He trails off, glancing around the jet, "We'll shake it off." He tells Maria even though he doesn't believe it's that easy to do.

"Well for now i'd stay in stealth mode, and stay away from here." Maria suggests, referring to the tower.

"So run and hide." Tony bites out, his jaw clenched.

Maria hesitates, sighing, "Until we can find Ultron, I don't have a lot else to offer."

Tony sighs back, "Neither do we." He says, pushing a button on the monitor, ending the call with Hill. Tony looks up at Clint, "How you doing?" He asks the archer.

"I'm good. If you wanna get some kip, now's a good time cause we're still a few hours out." Clint replies, glancing back at Mary and the rest of the team. All of them are silent, in their own minds other than the soft Russian coming from Becca.

"A few hours out from where?" Tony asks quizzically when Mary shifts from her potistion on her godson's lap, burying her head into the crook of his shoulder. His heart breaks when he feels his shirt begin to dampen.

"A safe place." Is all Clint says as he goes silent again.

When the jet lands on an open field in front of a farm, it only makes the team more cofused when they all step off. It's morning when the team file in to the house. Tony is carrying Mary while Steve is still holding onto Becca. Clint is helping Natasha into the house as well.

"What is this place?" Thor asks Clint as they walk up the stairs to the house. All of them are confused except Mary and Natasha. The two women know where they are, and dread soon fills the pit of Mary's stomach. Clint had mentioned to her and Natasha a while ago that Laura was expecting their third child. The thought of a baby made Mary remember what she went through earlier in the year. Everyone who knew about Laura being pregnant were weary of Mary's reaction.

"A safe house?" Tony questions when the team steps inside the front door. Mary's godson sets her down gently onto her feet, but she still clings to Tony for support. Fearing her legs would give out from under her.

"Let's hope." Clint replies as they step further into the house, walking into the living room, "Honey? I'm home." He says and soon a heavily pregnant Laura Barton walks into the team's view. Mary grips onto her godson's hand tightly when her and Laura lock eyes briefly. Laura is going through what Mary went through only a year ago. But the fact that Laura and Clint will have child after it all and Mary doesn't makes her want to throw up. Not out of disgust or any ill nature. She loves Laura and Clint's family, but she's envious of Laura.

Clint smiles as he steps close to his wife, "Hi. Company." He says, gesturing to the group as he places his hands on his wife's hips, "Sorry I didn't call ahead." He adds as they share a kiss and a hug.

Tony hesitates, then looks over Laura, "This is an agent of some kind.." He murmurs, causing his godmother to laugh briefly.

"Gentlemen, this is Laura." Clint says proudly.

Laura smiles bashfully, "I know.. all your names." She says, Tony gives her a small wave as pounding footsteps are heard from the upstairs.

Clint grins as he braces himself, "Ooh, incoming." he whispers as his son and daughter come into view, picking his daughter up into his arms as he wraps his free arm around his son, "Aah sweetheart! Hi Buddy!" He greets his kids. Becca freezes when she hears her nickname for her brother, her mind putting the pieces back together as she looks over at her brother.

Clint continues to talk to his kids when Steve and Thor look them over questioningly, Tony looks over as well, not believing what he's seeing, "These are.. smaller agents." He says.

"Did you bring Auntie Nat and Auntie Mary?" Clint's daughter asks him, drawing the spy and doctor out of their stupors to look over at the kids. Mary and Natasha look at each other before walking towards the kids.

"Why don't you hug us and find out?" Natasha teases, wrapping her arms around Lila Barton, Clint's only daughter. Mary wraps her arms around Lila, kissing the top of her head before walking over to Steve and Becca. Mary holds her arms out slightly and Becca accepts, wrapping her arms around her mother tightly.

"Sorry for barging in on you." Steve says as Mary leans into her brother, his arm instinctively wraps around her waist, pulling he close to his body.

"Yeah, we would have called ahead, but we were busy having no idea that you existed." Tony quips, crossing his arms as he looks at Clint.

The archer nods, "Yeah, well Fury and Mary helped me set this up when I joined. They kept it off Shield's files. I'd like to keep it that way. I figure it's a good place to lay low." Clint says as he wraps his arm around Laura.

Becca gasps when Thor steps on one of the kids' toy Lego buildings, breaking it instantly. Steve looks at the Norse god hesitantly as Thor sweeps it under the coffee table with his foot, "Uncle Thor.." Becca scolds, Thor raises his pointer finger to his lips, shushing the teenager and indicating that he wants to keep it quiet.

Natasha and Laura begin talking when Lila walks up to Thor quizzically, tilting her head slightly as she looks up at him. The Norse god looks down at the girl solemnly as he winces, turning his head away and quickly blinking. He snaps out of his daze when the toaster pops. Mary sees his face is determined as he walks out of the house. Steve kissing Mary's temple before following after the Norse god outside.

Later, Mary and Becca are settling into a spare bedroom, both showered and in new clothes. Both still reliving what happened merely thirty six hours ago. Mary was given some of Laura's old clothes, nothing fancy; a plain grey t-shirt and dark blue jeans. Laura had also found old clothes from her youth to give to Becca. The teenager was grateful to get out of her tact gear. A red sleeveless shirt and black jeans that were a little big around the girl's waist but she wasn't complaining.

The spare room wasn't big, and neither of them cared. They were just glad to be in each other's company after what had happened. The two were sitting on the bed in the room, a queen size bed with a deep green flannel bed spread and sheets.

Mary looked her daughter over, her precious little girl wasn't so little anymore. She was an Avenger. Tony and Steve made that clear when she joined the team to take down Strucker's last hide out that initially started all of this. The mother's hand grabbed hold of her daughter's, startling the teenager slightly.

The crystal blue eyes of the only Barnes daughter met with the deep hazel eyes of her mother's. "Mama.." Becca whispered as she leaned closer to her mother, "I'm scared."

Mary's heart clenches as she slowly wraps her arms around her daughter, Becca's head resting in the crook of her mother's neck. "I know." Mary replies, unsure of what to say for the first time in a long time. The feeling of despair once again sitting in the pit of her stomach. The unease of everything making her body and mind revert to months back when she didn't eat. Mary didn't want to go back to that state of mind ever again, but she was slowly falling back into it.

"I'm scared too, baby.." Mary murmurs softly as she smoothes Becca's damp hair down, "But we'll get through this." She whispers, "We have too."

A creak in the floor boards draws Mary and Becca out of their thoughts when they see Steve leaning against the doorframe with his arms crossed over his chest and a small smile on his face. He's changed out of his uniform, wearing a tight, blue workout shirt and dark jeans.

"I wanted to check on my girls." He says softly, leaning off the doorframe and stepping into the room. He pulls a discarded chair from a corner in the room and sits down across from his family. "How're you two holding up after everything?" He asks them, concern written on his facial features, his blue eyes filled with worry as he takes in the state of his sister and niece.

There's a long pause before Mary looks up and says,"Not good." She stares at her brother intently, "What i saw-" She shakes her head, looking down. But Steve places his hand on Mary's knee. His eyes lock with hers, he's pleading with them to talk about what they saw. He thinks talking about it will help them. Mary doesn't want to admit that he's right. But she continues anyways.

She takes in a deep breath before letting it out slowly, "I saw a lot of things.." she starts softly, "My mind jumped around between three different things." She says quietly, tears welling in her hazel eyes as she looks at Steve. What she's about to say, Becca doesn't know, and it kills her inside to know her daughter is finding out in the worst possible way.

Steve urges his sister to continue, moving from the chair and onto the bed, sitting himself next to Mary. He wraps his arm around her gently, "I know it hurts."

Mary whimpers as she lets out a shaky breath, catching Becca off guard, "Mama?"

Mary wipes her eyes with her wrist as she breathes slowly, "The first thing i saw was Winnie. Dying over and over again in my arms. I'm her mother, and she was dead before i even gave birth to her. I failed as her mother, Steve." She says quickly, tightly closing her eyes, not wanting to see her daughter's reaction. "I can still hear Stephen and Bruce talking quietly about how i gave birth to a still born." She grits out. Becca stares at her mother with wide eyes, she has a sister, had a sister, and no one told her about it.

Steve lets out a shaky breath as he holds his sister closer, "You didn't fail as a mother, Lizzie.." He whispers, "You could never fail as a mother. Ever." He adds. He starts to rock her back and forth in a soothing manner as Mary begins to let her flood gates open.

"But i did! If i had been better then Winnie wouldn't have died! Becca wouldn't have been taken from me!" Mary cries out as she clings onto her brother as if he was her life line. Everything Mary had felt is coming out into the open now and it wasn't stopping. Mary laughs bitterly as she recalls the second place her mind took her.

"Next thing i knew, I was standing in front of my mirror in my room at the tower. I stood there, watching myself in the mirror slowly lose weight. I watched my bones become prominent, my eyes become sunken in.. i scream for it to stop but it only got worse. My reflection came out of the mirror and was tormenting me, shouting things at me until i was backed into a corner sobbing uncontrollably." Mary explains the second part of her nightmare. Steve sucks in a sharp breath as he listens, his blue eyes clouding with tears.

"Oh, and my mind saved the best for last." Mary says sarcastically, laughing bitterly again, "The room changed to my old bedroom.. the one in our apartment with Ma." Mary explains, "I was dressed in my favorite dress, the green one. And James came into the room, he picked me up off the floor and held me." She says, but what she tells him and Becca only make them confused.

"James asked where the kids were." Mary continues, "I told him i didn't know, and something in him switched, he became cruel and mean. Yelling at me, belittling me. Telling me i wasn't a good mother, that it was my fault that our children were either dead or gone." She says harshly, "He's right. I'm solely responsible for Becca being kidnapped. I killed Winnie. Me, Steven, i did it. I didn't take care of her when she was inside of me. It's my fault she's dead! It's my fault Becca was tortured and beaten til she was black and blue for seventy years!" Mary screams out, not caring who hears her anymore.

Becca's face is stained with tears as she listens to her Mama recount her nightmare. "It's not your fault, Mama.." Becca says softly, holding tightly onto her mother's shirt.

"It is, baby.. i didn't protect you.. i didn't find you soon enough."

"You couldn't have known those bad men would take me." Becca responds quickly, dismissing her mother's reasons.

"You couldn't have known they would sell me to the KGB.. to the Red Room.. where i was beaten when i would smile. Locked away in a small cell with no food or water if i disobeyed an order." Becca says, reliving bits and pieces of her nightmare as well, "I saw the Red Room.. that was all i knew for my entire life until just recently." She says softly, "I saw Papa, only he was cold and mean. He wasn't Papa, he was The Winter Solider.. beating people mercilessly and killing them afterwards." Becca whispers, "And then it was me and him in a cold room.. a gun in his hands and it was pointed to my head. He was yelling at me in Russian, demanding that i follow through on the orders i was given. And that if i didn't, then he would put a bullet in my skull." She says in barely a whisper, "If i replied in any language other than Russian, he would cut me with a knife."

Steve hesitates, "That's why you would only speak Russian yesterday and the day before." He murmurs, Becca nodding in reply as Mary holds her daughter tightly.

"The only good i ever saw in the Red Room was my best friend, Demmy." Becca murmurs, "I don't even know if he's alive. He was apart of Hydra after all."

Mary wipes her daughter's eyes with a tissue Steve had gotten them, "We can try and find him.." she suggests.

Becca shakes her head, "Maybe it's for the best that i haven't seen him." She murmurs, then looks up at her uncle, "What did you see, Uncle Steve?" She asks.

Steve hesitates slightly, his eyes trained on his shoes, "I was in a dancing hall, loud music was playing. Flashes going off from cameras, i thought they were bombs going off. I looked over and i saw a man that had spilled red wine on his uniform. I thought it was blood." He says solemnly, "Then all of a sudden i hear Peggy. She's telling me that the War is over, that we can finally start a life together like I always wanted and i knew she did too." Steve is looking at his sister when he tells them, Peggy is Becca's godmother after all, she knew Peggy longer and he did, she knew more.

Mary nods slowly, "She wanted to start a family with you so badly, to build a life with you." She mutters.

"I keep hearing her voice saying that we can go home now, that i have nothing to worry about anymore." Steve adds, chuckling dryly as he breathes out, "Ultron was right. I can't live without a war. Even if it's one in my own mind."

Mary holds onto her brother, "Steve, do you know what you have?" She asks him quietly. She knows the answer, but she wants to see if Steve has put the pieces together himself.

The captain nods slowly, "I have PTSD, don't I?" He states. He looks to his sister know nods in confirmation.

"What's PTSD?" Becca asks quietly, sitting up slowly.

Steve hesitates, "Something a lot of soldiers come home with after a war.. it's called Post Traumatic Stress Disorder." He tells his niece slowly.

Mary nods, "It affects his mind.. like he was telling us; a man who spilled wine on his shirt, your uncle thought it was blood." She says.

"Oh." Becca says, understanding now, "Papa has that then."

Mary nods slowly, the nightmares that would wake him up at night or never let him sleep. His demons and ghosts of his past haunting him day and night.

Steve holds onto his sister and niece as tears fall from his eyes slowly, "We're gonna get through this. And we'll do it together."

So! I have an announcement!
As you all know, Becca is very precious to me, i legit love her and Mary like they're my children, but i want to drive more in depth into Becca's life. So i've decided to write a spin off trilogy for Becca!

The information i have for right now is limited, more will be released as more chapters come out in Endless.

But so far, the information i can tell you is that Becca's story will pick up during the time of Age of Ultron, she'll be living with a family, like a foster family for her safety. The family is one you know very well.

I have big dreams for both trilogies and i hope all those who are reading and those who read this in the future will enjoy the books as much as i enjoy writing them.