I didn't tell anyone I was leaving the involvement fair, not that anyone would notice, definitely not Grey. But Cal's eyes found mine amongst the crowd, or at least he looked in my direction and I could have sworn a smirk overtook his expression as he did.

I had pushed my way through the crowd and was only able to take a few deep breaths once I found the edge and had room to raise my arms above to rest them on my head, to open up my lungs even further.

When I reached his house, he quickly let me in but then returned to the video game he was playing with his roommate Dominic. I however, made my way up to his room, locking the door behind me as I did. I could have gone home to my apartment if I wanted to hide, but I couldn't risk running into Cal there either.

But maybe that's my karma for what I'm doing to Jake. The fact that when I agreed to live with Julia, a friend I met through the Wives and Girlfriends club last year. I didn't know just where her apartment was located. So when she invited me over this summer to take a tour and help make a list of what furniture I would need to bring I nearly screamed when I got the address. It was the exact same address as the apartment I was living in at the time, but instead of unit two oh eight, her text read unit three oh eight.

I had taken the stairs two at a time, rushing to knock on the door to see if she had in fact texted it incorrectly. But when she answered the door and exclaimed that I made it there fast, I began to slowly wither inside.

I tried to find another place to live. But everyone I knew had already signed leases and had roommates, none of which were willing to trade me places and live with Julia instead. I even looked into living in the dorms again, but only the shitty ones were left and I already paid my dues in that department last year.

For such a new building, built and finished with all the modern touches, they failed to properly insulate. But no barrier would be big enough for the one I need between Cal and I.

So every night since I carried my belongings box by box up one flight of stairs, I have fallen asleep to the sound of Callan rustling underneath me. His voice alone, or mixed with that of a female. The latter usually being the sound that travels up through my vents.

I climb into Jake's bed and settle my legs underneath the black comforter, pulling it up into my lap. I rest my head on the headboard and pull my phone out. I dial the number as fast as I can and actually sigh aloud when she answers on the first ring.

"Oh Ryn, thank god!" I exclaim through the small speaker.

"Everything okay, Lys?" my old roommate, Callan's sister, Camryn asks. She transferred to DePaul and is currently living in Chicago with her boyfriend Taylor. He was also a player on the Bulldogs team and used to live in this house with Jake too.

"If by okay you mean I'm considering taking a page from your book and becoming a shut in hermit, then yes everything is perfect!" I spew. I can hear Camryn laugh on the other end, obviously not buying into the fact that I wasn't kidding. But our sense of humor has always been our one disconnect.

"What's going on? And please be quick, I have to leave soon for the game." She says. Taylor plays for the Chicago Bears now and has his first preseason home game today. I already knew this of course, because Camryn sent me a screenshot of his schedule asking which games I thought I could come visit for. Which games Jake and I could both come watch.

"Just... things," I begin, about to tell her everything, but opt for the safe road. I'm not quite ready to fully admit my wrong doing to anyone else, not until I figure out exactly how I can simultaneously fix it. "Newspaper things-Grey gave out assignments yesterday," I say.

"And..." Camryn exaggerates.

"And-I'm still his little bitch, writing only what he wants me to....I'm assigned to sports, again," I tut. "He wants me to write an exclusive player profile before the season starts to release ahead of the first game."

"I know it's not what you wanted, but c'mon Lys, you're going to kill it! You were born to expertly assign adjectives to describe the strong stench of body odor present as you interview the players," She teases.

"Not players...One player." I pause, taking a deep breath as I do. "He wants me to cover Cal."

Camryn doesn't answer at first because I think she's waiting for me to continue, to tell her why it's such a problem to work with her brother. If anything, he was my friend long before they rekindled their twin and friend bond. But I already know she wouldn't agree or condone it.

She told me about the one and only time that her other best friend Gabi and Cal briefly flirted back in middle school, back when it was strictly infatuation and childish. She didn't talk to Gabi for a whole month, exiling her from her inner circle.

I'm not stupid enough to think she would banish me for it, but she might over Jak considering he and Taylor are best friends. And maybe because she considers honesty and loyalty the highest valued character traits someone can possess.

"I'm not surprised. Callan has always been the draw of any team he's been a member of," Camryn finally answers.

"I just-I still haven't forgiven him for how he treated you. Knowing what he's capable of..." I say, only a half lie.

I don't forgive him for what he did to his sister, using her history with mental health and their father's controlling mannerisms as an excuse for checking out when she needed him the most. He pushed her away even further by allowing their father to model manipulation to him, a tactic he then relayed onto Taylor. Because of Callan, Camryn and Taylor were both forced into heartbreak. They were forced to walk away from one another with the threat of permanent damage to their relationship.

Sure Callan apologized months later, and he and Camryn have since been working on repairing what was strained between them, but I just don't buy that he's completely changed. A person can't cause so much hurt without being capable of repeating history.

"Alyssa, no matter how you feel about Callan this isn't about that. It's not an opinion piece, it's facts. This is about you and furthering your resume at the paper. That's what you would tell me, right? If I wanted to turn something down just because it made me uncomfortable?"

I sigh in relief as she does. I think I needed her to be my voice of reason, to reassure me that I am in fact capable of doing this. And that Callan is no different than any other player. The second I cross the threshold of our interview space, he is a subject in my story.

"Yes...but that brings me to another dilemma." Camryn asks what it could possibly be, a sign that her patience is wearing thin with me, meaning I need to get to the point. "I've done some research on previous stories and interviews about him. Like you said, he's been featured everywhere. Everyone either wants or already has a feature with him. I really need mine to stand out, to prove to Grey that no matter the assignment I will take it and run with it. I need to write something that gets recognition from him so he will trust me to write anything I choose...The only type of piece I haven't come across yet is A Day in the Life...You know, following Cal through his everyday preparations for the season and writing as if I'm in his shoes. I take his perspective," I say.

It's the last thing I want to do. To put myself even closer to Cal, even further into a position with him that could be compromising. As long as we're focused on the pregame aspects of his life- the ones revolving around football-the only activities I should witness are the ones that take place at the training facility. It's a perfectly public setting in which I can gather plenty of information and write an easy twelve hundred words to turn into Grey.

"I think that is an amazing idea, Lys!" The excitement rings through her voice.

I can hear the train platform automated messages from her end, signaling that she's at her stop. Before she hangs up though, she reminds me that anything I set out to write turns into a work of art.

I fight the urge to argue. When it comes to Callan, I don't think I can possibly be the one to leave a mark. The two of us together can't possibly be a work of art, but I think I just might have to try.