Person 1: Can you get push pops from the grocery store?

Person 1's mom: No, push pops are dick sucking practises

XDDD me as a mom

Me: I can just imagine:

My three kids (imma name them Bonnie (Bon), Chica (Charlie), and Ashley (Ash, eventually Ashes)): Hey Ma, can we get push pops? Pleeeease!!!?

Me: No kiddies, push pops leads to dick sucking. You can have push pops when you're 16.

Charlie: But Ma, that's 5 years away for me and Bon!

Bon: Yeah!

Ash: You guys are lucky. It's 7 years away for me!

Me: You can wait. I'll get y'all some ice cream instead. Leave the push pops to MatPat.

Charlie and Bon: Okay, finee *leave the room, sulking* (They're twin girls)

Ash (Ashley's a boy btw): *goes to follow them*

Me: *picks him up and pulls him to the side* Ashley, I'll make a deal with you. Who did you say was your crush again?

Ash: It's [Insert some boy's name here]. He's a year older than me.

Me: Aww! Okay, so the deal is. Instead of you having to be 16, I'll make it so you only have ta be 13, okay?

Ash: But—

Me: No buts! Take it or leave it.

Ash: ... Okay. *toddler adorableness activate* Pleasure doing business with you Mommy! *goes to follow his sisters*

Me: I am so proud of mah babies *wipes away tear*