Hyunjin found Yuna in the staff kitchen, where she was filling her cup with coffee.

"Is residents allowed to have pets?"

"Hwang Hyunjin don't scare me like that!"

A large sip of coffee had spilled onto the table, forming a trickle and slowly dripping to the floor.

"Clean this up! And then you explain why you ask such a question."

Crumpled, Hyunjin wiped away the coffee and refilled Yuna's cup before he filled one for himself and sat down next to her. "I think Chan would do better if he could have his dog with him. He really blossomed when she was there."

Yuna shook her head thoughtfully. "Most of the time, such requests are rejected. I can only remember two cases where a resident was allowed to have his pet with him. And that was actually only because they had been well-trained therapy dogs."

"Oh..." Hyunjin murmured sadly, took a sip of coffee and leaned back. He would have liked to have better prospects and tried to get Berry to stay with Chan.

"Sorry, Little One."

Sighing, Hyunjin shrugged. "It's not your fault."

The afternoon dragged on forever, because absolutely nothing happened. The patients were unusually calm and peaceful and the morning shift had already completed most of the daily tasks.

Which was why Hyunjin had finally been given the insanely boring task of cleaning up the rather extensive and messy library. Which was definitely a job creation measure, because there was absolutely nothing else to do.

Armed with a cup of coffee, he set about organizing the books in the various subject areas. Which turned out to be just as boring as it sounded.

"Were you punished?"

Surprised, Hyunjin turned around and saw Chan standing behind him.

"It seems so. What are you doing here?"

A smile appeared on Chan's lips and he leaned against the shelf. "Actually, I wanted to choose a new book and bring this one back," he explained and held the book in his hand a little higher. "But if I'm here now, I can help you right away."

Unconsciously, Hyunjin took a step closer to the elder and also had to smile. "You don't have to. After all, you don't work here."

"True. But then I have an excuse to stay here longer. And to spend time with you," Chan said quietly, placing his hand on Hyunjin's forearm for a moment.

And although Hyunjin knew that he should have turned down the offer, he couldn't help but agree. "I mean, if you insist, I don't want to stop you." The smile on his lips was soft and full of affection for the older.

For a while they sorted in silence, without feeling uncomfortable. But finally Chan's curiosity won and he dared to ask the question that was burning on his tongue. "You and your best friend... I know I have no right to ask that... But are you just friends...?" Chan asked quietly, sounding damn insecure.

The thought of his best friend made him smile instantly. "I mean we love each other, but probably just like you and Jisung. And he lives with me because his parents have crazy problems with each other and like to live it out in front of him. But he just got together with his crush. Therefore, nothing is going on between us."

Somehow surprised, but also reassured by Hyunjin's answer, Chan took a deep breath and leaned against the shelf for a moment.

Everything he felt for Hyunjin spoke against his desire to be reunited with his family. He had the feeling of being able to breathe and think freely again near the younger. And then there were the butterflies in his stomach that appeared every time Hyunjin was near him.

And somehow all this, at least in the moments when Hyunjin was with him, ensures that the part of him that no longer wanted to live was silent.

"Have your cats got names by now?"

Laughing, Hyunjin shook his head. "No, but I'll ask Felix later when I'm home."

Grinning, Chan shook his head.

They talked for quite a while about innocuous topics and actually got ahead with sorting the books. Until Hyunjin finally noticed what time it was. And that he should be there for dinner supervision.

"Enough sorted. I have to close the library and we both have to go to dinner. So at least in case you want to eat something."

"It's probably not as good as your brownies, but I barely got anything down at noon because I was insanely nervous."

"Then let's go! You have to eat something."

Chan suppressed a smile, nodded seriously, and watched Hyunjin locking the door of the library.

"Have you eaten anything today?"

It wasn't far from the library to the dining room, but Chan wanted to use every second of it.

"Uhm yeah... a waffle with cream and strawberries. Everything else has to wait until after the shift, because I didn't have time to prepare anything," Hyunjin explained, shrugging his shoulders.

"You should eat something too! I don't want you to risk tipping over at work."

"You could catch me." Satisfied, Hyunjin noticed how Chan blushed. But the elder had no more time to answer, because they had meanwhile arrived at the dining room.

"Looks like Jeongin is waiting for you," Hyunjin noted with a smile before saying goodbye to Chan and joining Yuna.

The dinner also went quiet uneventful and so Hyunjin had time to watch Chan and Jeongin.

The two seemed to have a lot of fun. At least Jeongin managed to make Chan laugh several times. Which really pleased Hyunjin, because he loved it when Chan laughed. But somehow it also makes him damn jealous, because he wanted to be the one who made him laugh.

Sighing, Hyunjin turned away. He knew that he wasn't allowed to have such feelings, but he couldn't really change having them.

Fortunately, Yuna was just busy talking to a colleague and didn't get any of that.

But before he could dive deeper into his dilemma, Hyunjin was saved from the fact that dinner was coming to an end and most of the patients were leaving the dining room in a flood.

He just saw Chan and Jeongin leaving the dining room together, but then had to supervise two patients together with Yuna, who started an argument.

But the quarrelsomes were quickly appeased and brought to their rooms.

"Do you think you can finish writing the shift entry on your own?" Hyunjin asked after making fresh coffee for the night shift and cleaning up the staff kitchen.

"Sure,"

Hyunjin skillfully ignored the grin on Yuna's lips and disappeared in the opposite direction. In the direction of Chan's room.

After quietly knocking on the door, he slipped into the room and noticed Chan, who was sitting on the bed. "Hey, okay that I'm coming in?"

The smile that appeared on Chan's lips was actually answer enough, but he also nodded exuberantly.

"Sure, I'm glad you're coming! Are you about to get off work?"

Yawning, Hyunjin nodded and sat down next to Chan on the bed. "It's about time. I'm really tired and fucking hungry."

Chan nodded understandingly, even though he really wouldn't mind if Hyunjin stayed with him longer. For a moment he closed his eyes and his thoughts took an unexpected turn. Hyunjin in his arms, as they lay snuggled tightly together in bed. How he gently pressed a kiss on the lips of the younger and they fell asleep arm in arm.

"You look pretty tired too. Maybe I should go now," Hyunjin murmured softly, placing his hand on Chan's upper arm.

Scared, Chan opened his eyes and looked at Hyunjin almost in panic. He didn't want Hyunjin to go, but was really surprised by his thoughts.

"Or do you want me to stay?" The expression on Chan's face was hard to interpret.

Hesitantly, Chan shook his head and then decided on at least half the truth. "Sure I would be happy if you would stay. It's fucking lonely here at night. But I don't want you to get in trouble because of me either."

"Well then it's good that I have a night shift tomorrow. Even if that means another sleepless night."

Sighing, Hyunjin leaned against him for a moment before he realized what he was doing. "Excuse me...!" he muttered and wanted to get up abruptly, but Chan wrapped his arms around him in a flash.

"Nothing you have to apologize for."

Hyunjin's heart was beating so incredibly fast that he was sure it would jump right out of his chest.

"I... I should go now..." he whispered, just as Chan raised his hand and stroked a strand behind his ear.

The older's fingers felt soft and hesitant, at the same time almost hot. But it was only when Chan gently rubbed his thumb over Hyunjin's plump lower lip, he reacted.

He reached for the older's hand and held it tightly. "You... I... we... we shouldn't..."

And even though Chan knew Hyunjin was right, he would have loved to kiss him. He felt so much less alone when Hyunjin was with him. So cared for. And somehow there was that exciting tingling in him that just wouldn't go away. "I'm sorry!" he whispered, pulling his hand away.

"That doesn't mean I don't want... You... Me..."

The tension between them was almost palpable. Chan's heart also beat incredibly fast and it made him crazy that Hyunjin was still sitting there and didn't get up. He moved closer and put his hand on Hyunjin's thigh.

The younger's gaze flickered nervously from Chan's hand to his lips and back. His feelings went crazy. He wanted to kiss Chan so bad, but his sense of duty held him back.

"I know..." Chan whispered, placing his hand back on Hyunjin's cheek and gently stroked it before pulling his hand back.

"Maybe I should go now," Hyunjin whispered, but couldn't help but brush through Chan's velvety hair. Sighing, he straightened up and wanted to get up, but Chan held him, almost panicked.

"I'm sorry... Please don't go."

Despite the guilty he felt, Hyunjin allowed Chan to hold him and lean against him.

The silence between them could've been overwhelming and uncomfortable for others, but they didn't even really notice it. It didn't need words, because they both knew what was between them, although it wasn't allowed. Just like they both knew that they would give in, if they would've been allowed to.

Only the glance at the clock finally reminded Hyunjin that his shift was almost over and he had to return to the base.

"I have to go, Channie," he muttered, reaching for Chan's hand and intertwining their fingers.

"I know... even if I wish you could stay," Chan whispered, snuggled his face to the crook of Hyunjin's neck before he finally broke away from him.

Hyunjin suppressed a sigh. He shouldn't have let all of this happen at all, because it only ensured that his feelings for Chan continued to grow. Nevertheless, he was already looking forward to seeing the older again tomorrow.

He stood up, but leaned back to Chan to take him one last time in his arms. "See you tomorrow," he whispered, gently brushing his lips over Chans cheek before he pulled away and quickly went to the door without looking back again.

His heart was still beating up to his neck when he arrived back at the base and he didn't get a second of handover because he was way too busy with his thoughts.

And although he very deliberately paid attention to the street, which was completely empty at this time, he was surprised that he suddenly stood in front of his apartment, without really being able to remember the way home.

23
꧁⟢ ⍭〄⍭ ⟣꧂