Hyunjin was sitting on the floor in the locker room and tears ran down his face. He felt incredibly guilty and was insanely shocked.

When he had tried to take off his shirt with trembling hands, he had noticed the blood on his fingers.

His thoughts were racing and didn't really make sense. It wasn't his fault that the patient had injured himself and not that he had lost his family.

And yet he blamed himself insanely. If he hadn't woken him up, maybe he wouldn't have hurt himself further and wouldn't be tied to his bed now.

He had already seen shocking things here before that he had had to think about for a while, but nothing that had hit him so deeply.

With trembling hands he wanted to wipe away the tears, but then remembered the blood on his hands again.

Quietly sobbing, he got up and went into the washroom.

When he saw himself in the mirror, he froze for a moment.

His ponytail had come loose and his hair was standing up wildly. Somehow he had apparently managed to smear blood on his face, not to mention the shocked expression in his eyes.

"Oh God..." he murmured and turned on the water with trembling hands to finally wash the blood from his hands and his face.

The water turned red and Hyunjin stared at it until it had flowed down the drain.

Sighing, he shook his head and finally dried his hands and face.

Then he loosened his ponytail, ran his fingers through his hair and tied it up again.

A look in the mirror confirmed to him that he looked neat and showy again and that nothing could be seen of the chaos inside him.

He took off the shirt and threw it into the laundry bag before he went back to the changing room and put on a fresh one.

After that, he took a deep breath several times and went back to Yuna.

⍭〄⍭

"If you want, you can also go home Jinnie...," Yuna said and looked at the younger worried.

"And then what? Do you want to look after the whole station alone?" Hyunjin asked with a deep sigh and dropped on the chair next to his colleague.

"I... Yes, of course that's a lot of work, but I can imagine that it was pretty extreme for you right now," she said quietly and grabbed Hyunjin's hand, which was still shaking.

Hyunjin shook his head abruptly and stood up. "I just need a coffee and maybe a cigarette and then I'll be fine."

Yuna looked at the younger in disapproval. "I thought you only smoke at parties..?!"

"God honestly, you can't judge me for that right now," Hyunjin murmured and poured himself a cup of black, not so yummy coffee.

Yuna was just about to reply when one of the emergency lights started flashing. "Fine, go smoke one. I have to go there now," she said and had disappeared.

Sighing, Hyunjin opened the closet where the employees kept their belongings and took out his jacket.

After taking his cup, he slowly walked through several corridors until he finally came to the door that led into the garden.

He sat down on the nearest bench he found, pulled his legs to his chest and lit a cigarette. Not that he was really a smoker, but he didn't know anything else to calm his agitated thoughts.

He stayed on the bench for quite a while, even though he usually loved to walk through the garden.

The garden was mostly maintained by the residents and was simply beautiful. It bloomed everywhere and there were small hidden places that invited you to linger.

Even though the hospital might not have been so beautiful from the inside, the garden was all the more beautiful.
Hyunjin had already started taking walks in the garden with different residents on the first day and had fallen in love with it quickly.

But finally he snapped out his cigarette, got up and went back in. He really didn't want to let Yuna down, even if the night seemed pretty quiet so far.

When he arrived back at the base, Yuna still wasn't back, but the red light was no longer flashing.

Sighing, Hyunjin filled his cup again and then sat down at the desk. Slowly, fatigue began to catch up with him and even though his thoughts were still spinning circles, they slowly became a little calmer.

Yawning, he drank a big sip of coffee and just wanted to get up again and move a little when Yuna came back.

"Oh, some nights are just exhausting... was there anything else?" she asked, also poured herself a cup of coffee and let herself fall on a chair next to Hyunjin.

"Not that I had noticed anything," Hyunjin said, shrugged his shoulders and put his head on his forearms.

Yuna looked at him thoughtfully for a moment and finally gently stroked his back. "Did the cigarette help?"

Tired, Hyunjin looked at his colleague and finally had to smile. Yuna could have been his older sister in terms of age and she behaved exactly the same way. "Yeah, I think so. And that I'm tired is probably also helpful," he murmured and closed his eyes for a moment.

"At some point you get used to being awake at night. Especially if you are allowed to work with your favorite colleague," she said with a grin.

Giggling, Hyunjin opens his eyes and noticed that Yuna looked at him thoughtfully.

"Come on, get up. Have another sip of coffee and then we'll do the next round together."

Yawning, Hyunjin drank his cup with a sip, but somehow had the feeling that the coffee didn't help him get more awake.

And as if that wasn't already exhausting enough to have to go really tired through the shift, the night also became really exhausting.

They had several emergencies, from patients who urgently needed support and even had to call a doctor because they couldn't get one patient under control without help.

Afterwards, Hyunjin had a black eye and Yuna would definitely get bruises. Completely knocked out, they sat together at the base shortly before the end of their shift and drank one last coffee together.

"We've had easier nights..." Yuna sighed and looked at Hyunjin tired.

"The next night will hopefully be better..." Hyunjin said yawning and thought about whether he should ask his question, but did it anyway. "I would like to look after one patient again..," he murmured and looked at his finger, as he didn't dare to look at Yuna.

"Chan, do you mean...? Do that, but don't untie him. We first have to adjust his medication setting before we can untie him," she said and although she smiled, she sounded sad at the same time.

Hyunjin smiled at her and stood up. "I'll be right back."

He didn't know exactly why he was drawn to the older's room, but he had the feeling that otherwise he wouldn't come to rest.

When he stopped in front of Chan's room, there were still his pens, which he had placed on the shelf earlier. Yawning, he shook his head. In the chaos earlier, he had no longer thought of taking them back with him.

But now he held his key card in front of the sensor and entered the room.

It was slowly getting light outside, which led to Hyunjin being able to really see the older for the first time.

Chan was sleeping and this time he looked peaceful. His face wasn't twisted to a grimace and his hair no longer stuck to his face.

Nevertheless, he had somehow managed to get the duvet to slip down and the bandages around his arms were clearly visible, which caused Hyunjin to feel heartbroken. He still had the feeling that it was his fault.

Quietly sighing, Hyunjin pulled up the duvet again before looking at the older's face.

His brown hair was standing up wildly, but this somehow only made him more attractive, as Hyunjin noticed startled.

Until now, he hadn't been attracted to anyone in the institution once, but Chan somehow attracted him.

He wanted to brush his hair out of his face, but finally shook his head jerkily. That was absolutely inappropriate and he tried to suppress the thought.

When Chan tried to turn around in his sleep, he was of course prevented by the handcuffs, which caused him to open his eyes for a moment.

And although Hyunjin had the feeling that the older was looking directly at him, he fell asleep again almost immediately.

He looked around the room again before finally shaking his head and walking to the door. The entire room was bare, but this was no wonder, since the older one was only here for a short time and there was also the danger that he would try to hurt himself with loose objects.

Sighing, he opened the door, took his pens and went back to the base.

Yuna smiled when she saw that Hyunjin was back and nodded to him. "I've already done the handover, we're off work."

"Thank God, I'm incredibly tired," Hyunjin said yawning and got his things before they went to the changing room together. "See you later," he said, smiling at her tiredly.

"Go to sleep when you're home and text me when you arrived!" Yuna said and disappeared in the women's locker room.

Yawning, Hyunjin went into the locker room, threw his work clothes into the laundry bag and then finally made his way home.

꧁⟢ ⍭〄⍭ ⟣꧂