once midnight neared, san began growing a bit impatient for his friend to show up.

"does jongho always stay out this late?" san groaned a bit too loudly, quickly getting shushed by seonghwa who was sitting at the other end of the couch.

"shh! hongjoong is sleeping, don't wake him up you asshole." seonghwa whispered, patting hongjoong's head laying on his lap.

"sorry, don't want to disturb your boyfriend's beauty rest." san laughed and seonghwa tensed up, not liking the word 'boyfriend' being used in his comeback.

"don't call him my boyfriend, he is not my boyfriend." seonghwa growled, emphasizing the word 'not' as he spoke.

"bro it's just a joke, relax." san replies, putting his hands up in defense.

"well if you're making jokes about hongjoong being my boyfriend, i should be allowed to make jokes about wooyoung being your boyfriend. like seriously, do you think i'm blind? i saw everything that was going on between you two." seonghwa smirked as he spoke and san waved him off.

"no way. he was just infatuated with me, which is very understandable. and i'm not going to lie, the boy was fucking adorable. how could i resist?" san questioned, putting his hand on his heart to add dramatics to the situation.

"so you felt the need to cuddle with him throughout the entire movie, even giving him a kiss on the cheek when his mom came to pick him up?" seonghwa said with wide eyes. san quickly stood and and walked over to where seonghwa was sitting on the couch.

"do not make fun of me for cuddling wooyoung when you literally have hongjoong sleeping on your lap! you guys were under a blanket for the entire movie, how am i supposed to know what you two did under there." san defended himself, giving seonghwa a suspicious look as he spoke. seonghwa's face turned red in embarrassment after registering what san meant by his statement.

"ew, stop it! he's a child, don't talk about him like that. and what, should i have told him 'oh no hongjoong, i won't go under the blanket with you!'?" seonghwa whisper screamed to the boy standing in front of him.

"yes! you could've said exactly that!" san laughed hard, causing seonghwa to slump back in his seat.

"i hate when you're right." seonghwa crossed his arms and san shrugged.

"it's what i do best." san cockily said as he threw his body back in his spot, taking his phone out to play games while he waited for jongho to return home.

after another half an hour, jongho walked in the front door of his house with ease.

"finally, he emerges!" san exclaimed, standing up and throwing his arms in the air.

"again, shh! hongjoong's still asleep, you're so goddamn loud." seonghwa hushed the boy who mouthed a quiet 'sorry' in response.

"oh wow, hwa. he's sleeping on your lap, sorry about that." jongho stood awkwardly, knowing that hongjoong might get the wrong impression if he knew what he was doing in that exact moment.

seonghwa quickly shook his head, "nah, don't worry about it. he wasn't bothering me at all and he looked exhausted, i wanted him to get some good rest."

"well if you say so..." jongho furrowed his brows a bit before opening his wallet, "here you go, one hundred each."

"that's it? after all the work i did?" san complained and seonghwa laughed at him.

"you mean after all the flirting you did?" seonghwa winked at san who gave him a look, but sadly it was too late for the boy.

"he did what now!?" jongho screamed a little too loud, making hongjoong stir in his sleep.

"it was all in good fun." san defended himself.

before jongho could ask any further questions, hongjoong sat up from his spot on seonghwa's lap, "w-what's going on?" hongjoong asked, yawning and rubbing his eye as he spoke.

"nothing joong, san and i are going now." seonghwa answered the boy as he stood up.

"awe, already! how long was i asleep for?" hongjoong pouted and seonghwa put a hand on his shoulder.

"for about an hour now. you were really tired, i didn't want to wake you up." seonghwa smiled at the boy who nodded his head.

"yeah, i am exhausted." hongjoong stood up, "i'm gonna go to bed, goodnight everyone!" hongjoong waved and slowly made his way to the stairs, dragging his body up each step.

"bye joongie." seonghwa whispered to himself so no one could hear what he was saying. he waved back to the boy as he walked upstairs, smiling ever so slightly.

"ok hwa, let's hit the road. a bitch is tired." san called out, walking towards the door.

"yeah, you're definitely a bitch." seonghwa laughed, earning a light slap from san in response.

"thank you guys once again for your help." jongho smiled, "but hwa, i need you tomorrow again if it's not a problem."

"again? don't we have san's party tomorrow?" seonghwa asked with furrowed eyebrows.

"well yeah, but i just need you for the afternoon. it won't be long, so don't worry. ryujin told me that her mom won't be home in the afternoon, so you already know what's going down." jongho smirked and san whistled, giving the boy a fist bump.

"ok fine, what time?" seonghwa asked.

"one. we shouldn't be more than two hours, we're just going to do our thing and then i'm heading out. i can't risk being there late in case her mom shows up a little early or something." jongho informed the boy and he nodded, accepting his request.

the boys finally walked out of the house, jongho closing the door as they made their way to seonghwa's car.

as seonghwa began driving, san realized that he was being oddly quiet. he knew something was up with the boy, so san decided to speak up before he was dropped at home.

"hwa, you good?" san asked, sounding a bit concerned.

"um, yeah... i'm fine." seonghwa answered, not convincing san at all.

"no, i know something's up. what happened?" san asked again as he grew more concerned for his friend.

seonghwa didn't know how to answer san. he knew why he seemed off, why he wasn't acting the way he typically acts... but he couldn't put it into words. seonghwa didn't know how to begin explaining to san how he was feeling.

"san, it's sort of complicated. i promise i'll tell you about it soon. i just need to figure out some things on my own, is all. i hope you can understand that." seonghwa calmly responded.

san wanted to know what was up so badly, but he also wanted to respect seonghwa's space. he knew when the time came, seonghwa would tell him what was going on in his head.

"ok, i trust you'll tell me what's wrong when the time comes. here's my stop, i'll catch up with you tomorrow. make sure to be here by eight." san pointed in the boy's face as he began stepping out of the car.

seonghwa laughed, "yeah, i'll be here. don't worry. see you tomorrow." seonghwa waved, driving off once san made it into his house.

seonghwa decided to blast music for the rest of the car ride home. he knew if he thought too deeply about hongjoong that he'd get distracted, and he definitely didn't want to end up in any sort of accident tonight. he sped down the side streets, wanting to get home as soon as possible.

once arriving to his house, seonghwa quickly got out of his car and ran inside his house. he was thankful his mother was already asleep... he did not want to have to explain why he seemed so off to her.

seonghwa sprinted to his room, slamming the door shut as he plopped himself on his bed. he stared at the ceiling, thinking deeply about the whole night that just played out.

there's no way, right? hongjoong... no, i can't. he's a freak, right? he's different. i don't want different... or maybe i do? i just don't know...

"no, there's no way. i can't, i won't allow myself... i don't like hongjoong." seonghwa firmly said to himself.

even though seonghwa's words said one thing, his mind was thinking the complete opposite. seonghwa couldn't stop thinking about how adorable hongjoong looked tonight. he didn't seem like he was trying as hard as he did last time, not wearing any makeup and sticking to his usual crew neck and baggy sweatpants... but there was something about hongjoong. something that made him so special to seonghwa.

the way he giggled, his infectious smile, the blush that formed on his cheeks... it all made seonghwa's heart beat out of his chest. he felt like he could never get enough of it, like he never wanted it to end.

seonghwa loved how tiny hongjoong always looks in his huge outfits. how even without makeup he looked beautiful, like he never even need to try to take seonghwa's breath away. he was the sweetest boy seonghwa had ever met, even being kind when he was being an asshole.

hongjoong's kid-like behavior made him different, but in a good way. his obsession with stuffed animals was precious to seonghwa, it was something that made him like hongjoong even more.

how hongjoong acted with his friends was also fascinating to seonghwa. he loved how the three boys acted like there was nothing else in the world but them, not caring about what anyone else thought of them. in sort of a way, seonghwa felt like hongjoong was an inspiration to him.

deep down, he knew how he felt. seonghwa liked the boy, he truly liked the bo--

"wait." seonghwa thought out loud, stopping his thoughts as they were flowing, "no. no. i don't. i don't like hongjoong, there's just no way." seonghwa laughed nervously, standing up and pacing around the room.

i need to come up with something, and quick. i need to get my mind off the boy, it needs to happen... i can't like hongjoong.

as seonghwa began thinking hard, he remembered he had to watch the boy once again the next day. he groaned out loud, knowing it wouldn't help his situation at all.

mid pace, seonghwa stopped in his tracks. he had thought of a great idea, one that couldn't fail.

"i know!" he said to himself, smiling as he made his way back to his bed.

if i truly don't like the boy, i won't have a problem going back to my old ways.

lol seonghwa imma have to slap you on the side of the head real quick...

also i'm going to the neurologist today, i hope i get some answers for why my head is the way it is. let me tell you, having full blown migraines at least three days a week isn't fun :/. i don't wish the pain on anyone, i guess this is what i get for doing competitive cheerleading for four years😔i should've stuck with dance.

-vic