i had the realization today
that perhaps my mom isn't angry
perhaps she's just hurting
she got angry because
i overslept and forgot to eat
at a decent time so i drove
downtown to get a cheap smoothie
it wasn't much
and i called to check in
and see how she was doing
and told me what i was
doing wrong like i was
just a little child again
and it hit me all of a sudden
that maybe my mom
is entranced with the idea
of mother knows best
and she can't let her babies go
maybe i'm just the baby
she can't let go of
and if scolding me from
all the way out here over
a smoothie and dinner time
is her way of taking control
and holding onto threads
i don't know how i can stop her
maybe it's just up to me
to sit back and say
okay mom, i'll take that
into consideration next time
i'm okay from up here