The next time I talk to Badger, not counting the times I say a curt greeting to him in the hallways, is a few days later. He is with a few other medics. He told me the ceremony would be tonight, so I asked Liri to hand over my trainee to Saira for the day. I wanted to be supportive and show him I was there through this.

Saira still was avoiding me, but I knew she'd take good care of Esta.

Badger was sitting with Lyx, Briar, and Aeden. I had seen Lyx and Aeden in passing, but I had never held a conversation with them before. Lyx was the real deal. He was very intelligent, at the top of his ranks, and hardly spent time in the common area. How was I supposed to hold a conversation with these people?

Obviously nervous, I took my spot next to Badger. He had waved me over, so I couldn't really avoid this table any longer.

"If it isn't Mitah." Lyx announces. "Long time no see."

"Where have you been?" I ask him, and he smirks.

"Reading up, you know how it is. Or maybe you don't. Do warriors even read these days?"

"Quit teasing him." Aeden grumbles, moving her long, silky hair from her shoulder to behind her head.

"They take a few Botany courses." Badger buts in, and Lyx shakes his head.

"This is the one you want to offer you to Eve?" Lyx asks Badger. I assume this is not the first time he has been asked.

"Yes, is there an issue?" Badger quirks a brow.

"It's just. Wouldn't Briar or Aven suit the role better?" I forgot how up-tight Lyx was.

"It is traditional for another healer to assist in completing the oath, after all." Aeden explains, looking at me.

"I mean, I don't have to. It's alright. I've never even attended one of these ceremonies before." I say, getting ready to get up. Briar throws me a sympathetic glance.

"See, he's never even been to one of the ceremonies before." Lyx looks to Aeden, who is still looking dead at me.

It's when I stand up that Badger cuts in again.

"No. No. I told you I want him there." He looks pissed. My eyebrows raise in delight. "He will be there."

The ceremony was weird.

"This is weird." I inform Badger as he slides on a veil over his head. "It feels like I'm handing you off to your husband. How tragic for me."

Badger throws the veil back and grabs the back of my head. He brings our mouths together. It's frantic. It's messy. I don't think it's ever been this messy before. He shoves me up against one of the pillars. The room is dark, but I see him just fine.

"God, you're killing me." Badger groans into my mouth, bringing his hand down. He doesn't touch me. He just hovers.

I want him to touch me, but I know it's not right.

I gently pushed him away by his chest.

"Fuck." He breathes out slowly.

"You alright?"

"I hate them. I hate how they talk about you like you're not worth their time, Mitah." He puts his hand on his forehead.

"It's alright. Sort of a stereotype that the strong ones aren't too bright."

"But you are! You're so bright, and you're so important to me." Badger's eyes tear up; I didn't know them talking like that hurt him so much. "I just wish I could tell them."

We split ways for a moment so Badger can have allotted time with the other medics before completing the oath. I find myself just hanging around the bay until the real deal starts.