3264 words

it's wednesday, aka ryan's 20th birthday. tyler has been fighting regressing into little space practically the entire day. he even had to skip lunch with his friends and eat by himself because he feared ashley might accidentally make him regress. he can't help it—he is so, so anxious about ryan's birthday party being hosted at their house tonight. tyler desperately does not want to make a fool of himself which tends to be the case at most social events. he's just awkward, especially when guys and girls try to flirt with him.

then throw in the added possibility of regressing while drunk. the thought makes tyler shudder. the first and only time it ever happened to him was last year. tyler and his friends were at one of their college bars. the poor brunette was pushed into from behind and accidentally spilled his drink all down the front of a pretty, slim girl with jet-black hair. she, of course, was wearing little to no clothing and let out the most disgusted, horrified gasp the second the liquid touched her bare skin.

before tyler could alert his friends, who were busy getting a drink at the bar, the girl starting spewing venomous cuss words at him. he didn't know what to do and instantly shut down, literally shrinking within himself as he quickly, quickly shut himself into little space. big, fat tears streamed down his face as he yelled back at the girl that she was being mean and hurting his feelings. it was only an accident.

thankfully, brendon saw the commotion and quickly came to the rescue. him, ashley, and ryan all walked tyler back to his dorm which he shared with ryan that year. they all spent the night desperately trying to cheer tyler up, but nothing could get him to calm down. he ended up regressing so much that by the end of it all he could hardly utter a word. the sunday scaries were so bad the next day that he felt the need to apologize to his friends over and over again until they begged him to stop.

he feels himself regressing right now just thinking about it and decides to disregard the homework he planned on getting done. he's currently at work, sitting behind the big desk and inattentively bouncing one of his legs up and down as he switches his laptop out for a coloring book. thankfully, there's a wall that encompasses the spot his desk is nuzzled into so nobody would see the bluey characters with just a passing glance. even if they did, he didn't really care too much right now.

tyler retrieves the small pack of crayons he keeps in his bag for emergency purposes, carefully thumbing through the pages of his coloring book to find the perfect canvas. he stops on the one of bluey and bingo playing dress up, lips curling into a small smile. it's perfect!

the brunette wastes no time and gets to coloring. he really wishes he had pablo with him, squeezing him under his left arm while his right rests atop the desk. he wishes he at least had something fuzzy to rub between his fingers, like the fluffy sweatshirt ryan bought him for christmas one year. but he doesn't. he just has the stupid plain sweatshirt that big tyler decided to pack for him. he's glad he even remembered to bring one, but still upset that it isn't fluffy.

tyler hears a beep come from the id scanner, indicating someone just checked in. he doesn't even send them a passing glance, just sticks his tongue out in concentration as he carefully colors in the crown on top of bluey's head.

"hi tyler!"

tyler's head shoots in the direction of the familiar voice, eyes widening slightly. he instantly feels his cheeks get hot as he quickly grabs the coloring book off the desk and hides it underneath, crayon in one hand and coloring book in the other. "joshua!"

the boy is wearing a similar shirt to monday, just a different band this time. his head is adorned with black nike hat, taming the wild curls tyler spots poking out underneath. cute.

"whatcha doin?" he asks, curiously peering into tyler's space. the boy lets out a sigh of relief. he must not have seen the coloring book.

"nothin'," he responds softly, hating that he just knows his face is bright red right now.

"oh. well, i didn't see you here yesterday."

he was looking for me? tyler nearly squeaks at the thought. "don't work tuesdays," he says simply, afraid he's going to embarrass himself.

"oh," josh nods, matter-of-factly. "do you work tomorrow?"

tyler shakes his head. "friday..." he's practically whispering now, gripping the crayon in his hand so tightly he feels it snap in half. a soft, surprised gasp escapes him as he mentally curses himself for not being careful.

josh looks at him a bit confused, lips curled into a polite smile. thankfully, he doesn't ask. "oh, okay. i got my id," he says, holding it up proudly.

tyler glances at his picture on the front, noticing it says class of 2025 on it. the same as tyler. he lets out a little giggle, still grasping the now-broken crayon in his hand.

"what's so funny?" josh asks curiously, turning his id back towards himself to examine it. "does my picture look stupid?"

tyler shakes his head. he can't find the words to explain, so he just says "nuffin'."

josh raises an eyebrow at him. he hesitates for a moment before saying "okay, well, see you later" and then he enters the gym and leaves tyler alone. finally. tyler exhales deeply, setting his coloring book and the broken yellow crayon on the desk. he frowns at the sight of the crayon. how the heck is he supposed to use it now? no matter how small he feels, his hands are too big to hold such a tiny thing!

he pulls out his phone to send a text to his friends asking if anyone can bring him a new crayon. as he goes to unlock it, a notification from instagram pops up.

josh dun has requested to follow you!

tyler actually does squeak now, whipping his head around to peek in the window into the gym. his eyes nearly pop out of his head when he finds josh already looking at him, smiling. his head whips back around, cheeks burning red. josh wants to follow him!

he quickly opens instragram, completely forgetting the original purpose of why he needed his phone. he accepts the request before requesting to follow josh back. it's accepted almost instantly. tyler excitedly scrolls through the few rows of posts on josh's instagram, eager to learn more about him.

he has a some old posts from high school with his friends, quite a few from the college he transferred from which tyler has never heard of before, and a new post from yesterday. the first picture is of him at the gym, the second is of the engineering building on campus. the caption has something to do with new beginnings, but tyler doesn't focus too much on it. he just gawks at the picture of josh, recognizing the outfit as being the one he wore on monday. he double taps, his cheeks turning red as he knows josh probably just got the notification.

suddenly, tyler feels insecure. does he have anything embarrassing posted on his account!? he quickly clicks on his profile picture at the bottom of the screen, scrolling through the 50+ posts he has up. they're mostly of him and his friends, although he does have a few posts of just him or things he likes. he decides it's normal enough. tyler tucks his phone back in his pocket, blinking at the broken crayon before him.

oh, right.

yellow crayon broken :( anyone to the rescue pls?

ry 🍪:
be right there!

tyler feels a bit bad because it's ryan's birthday and he shouldn't be doing anything for him! but he's also a bit glad because he really wants to finish his coloring page. he's also glad he'll get to say happy birthday to him, although he already texted it to him this morning and said it at least five times in their class together.

ryan's there within fifteen minutes or so.

"ry!" tyler greets, wiggling in his chair. "happy birf'day!"

ryan smiles, ruffling the boy's brown locks as he sets a new yellow crayon in front of him. "thanks, ty. how're you feeling?"

"small," tyler admits, immediately turning to his coloring page and getting back to work.

"i can see that. does this mean no party for you later?"

"ryyyy," he whines. "wanna party toooo..."

"tyyyy," ryan mocks, grinning as tyler sticks his tongue out at him. "little boys can't party."

"well i'll be big den later," tyler reasons, not quite pronouncing his "l's" fully so they sound more like "w's".

"you sure that's what you want?"

"yesss, wanna cel'brate ry's birf'day!"

ryan lets out a defeated sigh, tapping his fingers against tyler's desk. "we'll see how you feel later then, yeah?"

"mhm," tyler responds, not even paying attention to him anymore. he's too busy coloring bingo's cape a pretty rainbow.

"okay. bye, tiny. see you in a couple hours."

"bye-bye!"

the second ryan is gone, tyler wishes he would've thought to ask him to bring pablo too. he misses the little guy! although he has four other stuffies, pablo was his first and is definitely his favorite. he would never admit that to the others though! they would probably get jealous and tyler doesn't want them to think he doesn't love them because he does! he just loves pablo most. plus, penguins are his favorite animal.

after he completes the coloring page, he carefully tears it out of the book. he plans on giving it to ry as a birthday present. sure, he already has something for him wrapped up in his bedroom, but surely ry will love this too! the other present tyler got him is just some video game for his xbox that he heard ryan begging brendon for one time. he double checked with brendon that he didn't get it for him before he decided to buy it. some jedi game or something? tyler doesn't exactly remember, he's not into ryan and brendon's nerdy things.

he switches his coloring book out for his computer now, sliding an airpod in his ear as he browses disney+ for something to watch. he is very, very tempted to select monsters inc, but decides on moana at the last minute. probably best. monsters inc always makes him feel so small! tyler knows he can't regress too much if he wants to be in any shape to celebrate ryan's birthday later. which, for some reason, he's decided that he thinks he does. he probably won't have anything to drink, though. or maybe he will a little. he doesn't know!

he starts the movie, pulling his knees into his chest and resting his feet on the chair. he hugs his legs tightly, resting his chin on top of his knees. again, he wishes he had pablo.

as if on cue, about an hour and a half after josh arrived, he's walking back towards tyler's desk. the brunette quickly pauses his movie and sits up straight, his eyes meeting josh's. the latter offers a toothy grin which tyler returns, the tips of his ears growing hot.

"have a good night, tyler," josh speaks casually, waving as he walks past.

"you too," tyler squeaks, waving back. he keeps his eyes trained on josh as he watches him leave until he can no longer see him. he glances at the time on his watch. he's got about an hour left of work. he looks at the time left in the movie. about a half hour. perfect, that will give him 30 minutes to age back up before he heads home to help get ready for the party.

after the next hour, tyler has successfully aged himself back up as he collects his things and begins his walk home. he stares at his feet while he walks, careful not to step on any cracks along the way. if he was to accidentally step on one, he'd have to step on another with the other foot to even it out. and if that didn't feel right then he'd have to do it again and again until it did feel right. tyler would rather just make sure he doesn't step on any cracks.

his mouth is dry as he sweats under the august sun, eager for it to be fall. the campus is so pretty in the fall, tyler loves it. his camera roll is full of pictures of the fall campus. plus, he just hates the heat. he hates feeling sticky and sweaty and gross. fall is perfect.

he successfully makes it home without stepping on any cracks and without making any awkward eye contact with people. he smiles at the accomplishment.

"i'm home!"

"tyler!" ashley greets, pulling him in for a hug. "we missed you at lunch!"

she grabs his bag from him, the two walking upstairs to his room. "ryan said when he went and saw you earlier you were pretty small. how're you feeling now?"

"not small," tyler says, watching her plug in his computer for him. he glances at his stuffies, fighting the urge to grab pablo.

"no?" she hums. "so does that mean you wanna stay big for tonight then?"

tyler hesitates, still looking at the stuffed animals on his bed. he can do this. it's his best friend's birthday. he wants to celebrate. "yes," he says finally.

"okay, well, maybe you should work on some homework then."

a guttural noise spills out of the boy as he groans. but he knows she's right. he didn't do it at work and it'll help him stay in the right headspace. "fine..."

tyler works on his homework for about an hour, completing most of it by the time he gets a text from ashley that she made dinner. he practically runs downstairs because he's so hungry and the smell of whatever she was making had completely infiltrated his room about 20 minutes ago. he grabs himself a bowl of the spaghetti with bolognese sauce, mouth watering as he sits at the table beside ryan and across from brendon. ashley is a great cook. in fact, she's his favorite cook.

"thanks, ash," tyler says as she joins them at the table. "smells good."

"of course, ty. you guys better eat up. i don't want to be taking care of any blackout boys tonight," she says, shooting a glare at brendon. he just smiles. "unless it's your birthday. then i guess i can make an exception."

ryan chuckles. "that's what brendon's for."

"you're scary when you blackout," brendon informs. "like, i actually see crazy in your eyes. i swear."

"yeah right!" ryan argues. "you're just saying that."

"no, guys," brendon looks to tyler and ashley. "don't you remember last year at the halloween party?"

"oh god..." ryan mutters.

tyler nods, grinning. "yeah, ryan. you were so mad when we cut you off. i think you actually wanted to murder us."

"okay, well, i blame brendon for letting me smoke after i was already completely fucked. that's the whole reason i blacked out."

they go back and forth like that for a while, tyler's friends talking about their worst blackouts while he just listens. he's never even been close to blacking out before. he doesn't ever want to. judging by the way his friends describe it, and the way he's seen them act in a blackout, it seems horrible. especially because they get really sick and have a horrible hangover the next day.

the conversation switches to talking about which party decorations to put where and who's in charge of what. tyler decides to volunteer for blowing up balloons. ashley says he can leave most of them scattered around the ground but he should tape up a few on the walls. tyler can do that.

so, after he finishes eating, tyler washes his dishes and gets to work blowing up the glittery balloons ashley bought. he severely underestimated how much work it would take to blow up 50 balloons, but ashley starts helping him after she finishes hanging up a happy birthday banner and some kind of photo wall tyler knows he'll be forced to add his picture to at some point.

by the time they finish decorating, brendon and ryan return from the liquor store. they have bags in their arms, claiming there's even more in brendon's car. tyler can't believe how much money they spent on alcohol. him and ashley head to the car parked out front by the curb, finding a few cases of beer and some cases of seltzer.

"my god," ashley mumbles, picking up a case in each hand.

"i thought this wasn't gonna be a whole big thing," tyler says, swallowing the nervous lump in his throat as he follows ashley's lead and carries in a case in each hand. thankfully, brendon and ryan grab the others.

"that's what i thought, too. i mean, they are alcoholics," ashley says, referring to brendon and the frat brothers he invited. "so i wouldn't be surprised if this is just all for them."

tyler nods, hoping she's right. he starts helping ashley make jungle juice while brendon and ryan start loading the beers and seltzers into the fridge. "hey bren?" tyler asks.

"yeah?"

"how many people are coming?"

"hmm..." brendon stops what he's doing and starts counting on his fingers. by the time he gets up to fifteen tyler just sighs. "well i invited about twenty people. a few of them said they were bringing some people. plus whoever you guys invited."

"yay..." tyler mutters sarcastically, his nose scrunching in disgust at the smell of the bottle of vodka ashley opens. he only really likes to drink sweet things. thankfully, their jungle juice is a nice mix of vodka, prosecco, moscato, cranberry juice, and sprite. ashley asks tyler to taste it and he gives his little sip a 10 out of 10. she smiles.

it's around 8pm by the time they finish getting everything ready, and they decide ryan should open his presents now before they start getting themselves ready. ashley got him a graphic tee with silly cats on it. brendon got him a few things: a new phone case with pictures of all of them on it, a hoodie repping the name of their college, and a mug with two boys holding hands and the letters "b" and "r" above their heads. it's super cute. tyler's heart stings a bit thinking about how badly he wants someone to love him like they love each other.

when ryan opens tyler's gift, he lets out an excited gasp. "no way! no way ty! thank you!"

tyler laughs softly while ryan pulls him in for a hug, as he did with the other two after opening their gifts. he's too embarrassed to give him the coloring page right now. he's always been pretty insecure about his little space ever since he first discovered it in high school. it's not something he loves to talk about when he's big. he'll just give it to ryan the next time he's small. "thanks, you guys. i love it all."

"now..." brendon says, cracking open a beer that tyler didn't even know he was holding. "let's go get ready."