2971 words

the august heat is relentless as tyler heads to his first class of the semester, fingers gripped tight around the straps of his bag. he walks with his head down, as usual, desperate to avoid eye contact with anyone he might know. it's not that he doesn't like people, really, it's just that he hates when he makes eye contact with someone he knows from far away as they're walking towards each other. when is the appropriate time to smile? to say hi? tyler overthinks it, so he just keeps his eyes down. if anyone wants to talk to him, they'll have to get his attention.

the yellow sun blares overhead, causing a bead of sweat to roll down the brunette's temple. he quickly wipes it away, desperate to not look like a wreck on the first day of class. he's heading to one of his english classes—advanced creative writing. he took the intro course last year and loved the professor. thankfully, she also teaches this section.

it's 9:50am when tyler finds his classroom. ten minutes early, as he had planned for. he had developed a habit of making it ten minutes early to every class after he once arrived exactly on time and found his unassigned assigned seat had been stolen. plus, being early on the first day is crucial to picking a good seat. he chooses a seat in the second to last row of desks closest to the door. he's happy. this is the perfect spot.

tyler settles into his seat, pulling his phone out of his pocket. he opens the imessage groupchat he shares with his closest friends: brendon, ryan, and ashley. him, brendon, and ashley actually rent an off-campus house together, exactly one minute away from campus. ryan stays in a single in one of the dorms on campus. he got lucky with that—at their small liberal arts private school, most singles get delegated to seniors. they're only juniors.

made it to class !

ry 🍪:
save me a seat. be there soon :)

bren 🍭:
god kill me i'm so tired

ash 🍯:
it's literally 10am brendon

bren 🍭:
and maybe i went to bed at 4 ok??

tyler smiles to himself, secretly hoping nobody takes the seat next to him so ryan can sit there. he's an english major like tyler, so they end up having quite a few classes together. that's how they met, actually, in an english class freshman year. it was through ryan that tyler met ashley. he then met brendon at a frat party that the two friends forced him to go to. he very quickly introduced them to brendon and it was basically love at first sight between him and ryan.

speaking of, ryan enters the classroom now, offering tyler a big smile. they had just seen each other yesterday while everyone helped tyler unpack and decorate his room, but ryan was his best friend. they always missed each other when they were apart.

"hey ty!" he greets, sliding in the seat beside the boy.

tyler smiles at the nickname. "hi ry. how was your mornin'?"

"meh, it was alright. i actually woke up early enough to shower but i kinda regret it because i'm really tired. how was yours?"

"s'good," tyler says, shuffling in his seat. "ashley made me a blueberry waffle and watched cartoons with me before i had to leave."

ryan shoots him a knowing glance, to which tyler whispers, "no, i don't feel little right now."

whatever ryan is about to say gets cut off as the professor enters the room, greeting the class with a good morning.

tyler is able to pay attention for the majority of class. it's not too hard since they're mainly just going over the syllabus, but he does get a bit distracted watching imessage notifications from his friends roll through on his macbook. by the end of class, the four friends have made plans to meet at one of the dining halls for lunch.

class is over within fifty minutes. tyler is glad because he started dozing off for the last ten. him and ryan pack their bags, walking together towards the dining hall. their campus is relatively small—it would probably take about fifteen minutes to walk from one end to another. it's only a couple of minutes before they're in the dining hall waiting for brendon and ashley. the two sit at a table together, waiting to get their plates before their friends join.

"i think that class is gonna be really cool," ryan gushes, propping his elbows on the table and resting his chin on his hands. "don't you?"

"i'm really excited for the poetry section," tyler says, habitually glancing around the room. his eyes dart back and forth as he watches all of the people behind ryan. he doesn't know why it's so hard for him to just focus on one thing at a time. ashley, the psychology major she is, has suggested maybe adhd or anxiety. tyler doesn't know much about adhd besides what he's learned in a few classes for his psych minor, but knows his mom has anxiety. ashley thinks maybe he does too.

"of course you are. you're one of my favorite poets," ryan gushes. "i'm sure professor grant will feel the same way."

"she liked the poems i wrote in intro," tyler informs, his eyes falling upon ryan for a second before going back to scanning the room. "i got an a in that class."

"see! i think you're going to be famous one day, or something. then i'll get to brag about being best friends with a famous poet."

tyler chuckles softly, his eyes lighting up as he sees brendon and ashley enter the dining hall. he waves them over excitedly, giving ashley a big hug even though it had only been about an hour since he'd last seen her.

"ty! how was class?" she asks, the four of them heading over to check out what's for lunch today.

"s'okay," he says, grabbing a plate and serving himself some pizza and french fries.

"you gonna eat some veggies with that?" ashley asks, raising an eyebrow. tyler smiles and shakes his head, to which she just sighs. "fine."

the brunette gets himself some ranch and a glass of apple juice before sitting back down at the table they claimed. brendon is first to join him, his plate looking very similar to tyler's.

"no veggies today, huh? me neither. especially not the asparagus shit they were serving," brendon says, nose scrunching in disgust.

"you're such a bad influence," ashley tsks, sitting next to tyler.

tyler just smiles to himself, secretly agreeing with brendon. asparagus is gross, he's right. ryan takes his seat next to brendon and across from tyler. the four sit in a confortable silence while they eat, not having much to say aside from how their days had been so far. they already know everything about how each others' summers had been—they had facetimed nearly every single night to talk.

"what are we doing for your birthday, ryan?" brendon asks, wiping pizza grease from his mouth onto the back of his hand. "i can always hold something at du."

du. delta upsilon. brendon's frat that he joined last year. nobody else in the friend group is in greek life, that's more of a brendon scene. ryan does know a lot of the brothers just because of the amount of time he spent at the fraternity house when brendon lived there. the other three don't enjoy parties much, especially tyler. he used to go out and drink a lot more freshman year but now he seldom goes out and when he does he's usually sober. he only ever goes out when he's feeling big, and only drinks on occasion. he's been drunk and little before. it was just weird and embarrassing. he cried a lot that night.

"no," ryan shakes his head. "i'd rather do something at your guys' house. you can invite some brothers, i don't care, i just would rather have a house party scene than a frat party scene, you know?"

"sure, yeah, fair enough," brendon agrees. he looks to ashley and tyler. "that's cool right? for wednesday night?"

ashley looks to tyler who purses his lips. there's no telling how he'll feel wednesday. if it's been a rough day and he's feeling small, maybe him and ashley can just stay in his room. if he's feeling big, maybe he can actually enjoy the party. he lifts his shoulders in a shrug. "sure."

"cool," brendon grins.

"yay!" ryan exclaims. "i'm so excited. only one more year and i'll finally be legal to drink. god, i can't wait."

tyler just falls silent, stuffing his mouth with fries so he isn't expected to contribute to the conversation anymore. he's anxious thinking about wednesday now but trying to keep himself from slipping. ashley must notice because she makes a point to tell tyler they'll talk about more details regarding wednesday later that day. he's grateful. he offers her a small smile.

after lunch, tyler has another english class. sadly, ryan isn't in this one. tyler sits alone in the back corner, once again focusing all of his energy into sustaining his attention for the duration of class. once that class is over, tyler has to go work for a few hours at his on-campus job in the gym.

it's a real simple job. he mans the front desk, checking students in and handing out any equipment they might ask for. and really, the students check themselves in. they just have to scan their id and the door will unlock. tyler is glad he was able to find such an easy job for himself. he spends most of the time doing homework. sometimes, he even lets himself regress a bit and watches cartoons on his computer or colors in the bluey coloring book that brendon got him.

"hi jenna," he smiles at the girl currently behind the desk. he recognizes her from working there last year.

she gasps upon seeing him, immediately pulling him in for a hug. "tyler! hi! how was your summer?"

"good. i just worked a lot," he admits, awkwardly hugging her back before taking her spot on the swivel chair.

"gosh, me too. it was cool though. i work at a summer camp every year and it was nice to see the kids again. anyway, i have to go meet with a friend. i'll see you later!"

she takes off swiftly, backpack strung over one arm while the other holds a sweatshirt. tyler shivers softly, forgetting just how cold they kept the athletic center. he curses himself for not bringing a sweatshirt. he grabs his phone and sends his friends a text.

is anyone home?

ash 🍯:
no why?

bren 🍭:
no sorry

ry 🍪:
no :(

just wanted to see if anyone could bring me a sweatshirt no worries <3

tyler sighs and sets his phone down, pulling out his computer to start working on the homework he was assigned today. he likes to get his homework done as quick as possible to give himself as much time as he needs to fall into little space at the end of the day. he would much rather spend his time at home being little than being big and responsible.

"um, hi..." an unfamiliar voice draws his attention.

tyler quickly looks up from his computer and meets the eyes of the boy who stands before him. he's pretty familiar with everyone who comes to the gym, so he's a bit surprised to find the face of someone he's never seen before. the boy has curly black hair and a crooked nose. he has plugs in his ears and is wearing a band tee. tyler thinks he's cute. he feels his face instantly heat up.

"hi..." he responds. "can i help you?"

"oh, um, well, yeah. this is my first time here, so i'm not sure like..." the boy trails off, looking anywhere other than tyler.

"you just have to scan your id," tyler offers sheepishly, goosebumps covering his arms despite the burning in his cheeks.

"oh! uh... i don't... i don't have one?" he phrases it like a question. tyler just blinks at him a few times.

"you don't?"

"i just transferred, so i don't have it yet. i was supposed to pick it up today, but i forgot," he admits, chuckling.

"okay," tyler smiles in return. "i can just type in your student id. you know that, right?"

"uhhhh...... where would i find that?"

tyler wants to get back to his homework. he unintentionally lets out a little annoyed sigh, then regrets it after the boy mutters an apology.

"s'okay," he says. "if you sign into your student account it's listed at the top of the page."

"oh, right. okay."

tyler just watches as he starts typing frantically on his phone. he allows himself to really take the boy in now, and gosh he is so cute. he's definitely taller than tyler and is pretty fit. one arm is covered in a colorful sleeve of tattoos. the sleeves of his t-shirt aren't perfectly snug to his biceps like some of the other guys tyler sees come here, but the muscles are well defined. he must work out regularly. tyler feels his ears grow hot at the thought. that means he'll be back.

"oh, okay! here. i've got it."

"can you read it to me?" tyler asks, turning towards the gym's desktop computer.

he carefully types out each number he's told and hits enter. the screen loads for a second before a green accepted shows up underneath the name joshua dun. tyler makes a mental note of his name.

"did it work?" joshua asks.

"yep," tyler smiles. "you're all set."

"cool thanks, uh...?"

"tyler."

"tyler," joshua repeats, returning the brunette's smile. the boy just blushes in response, silently hoping joshua will go away because he's very cute and is making tyler very nervous. "see ya."

tyler lets out a breath he didn't know he was holding as joshua walks past him and into the gym. he quickly pulls out his phone and searches for joshua dun on instagram. a profile for josh dun comes up and tyler instantly recognizes the profile picture. he clicks on it, hoping to be able to do some stalking, but frowns when he finds the account is private. it's too weird to request to follow him right now, he thinks to himself.

tyler spends the rest of his three hour shift sneaking glances at josh in between working on his homework. josh leaves about an hour and a half after he arrived, offering a "have a good night" to tyler on his way out. tyler doesn't point out that it's only 3pm. he just smiles and says "you too."

by the time his shift is over, he's completely finished with his homework. thank god. he wants to go home and gush to his friends about the new, cute boy he met today. he wants to go curl up on the couch and watch disney movies and regress. he thinks about what movie he wants to watch as he walks home, the sweltering sun unwavering and relentless.

he's grateful for the wave of cold air that rushes over him as he enters his air-conditioned house. "i'm home!"

ashley greets him immediately. "hey, ty. how was your day?" she asks, taking his backpack from him.

tyler follows her up to his room and watches as she takes his computer out of his bag and plugs it in for him. he has a habit of forgetting to do that. "it was great! i met a boy!"

ashley raises an eyebrow at him, helping the boy pick out comfy clothes. they settle on sweatpants and an olaf t-shirt. "you did?"

"uh huh!" tyler smiles. he changes quickly, eager to find brendon to break the news to him too. he makes sure to grab the gray penguin stuffed animal sitting on top of his head next to his pillows. his name is pablo—inspired by the backyardigans, of course. he races back downstairs after doing so, yelling for brendon.

"i'm right here, silly," brendon chuckles, waving to tyler from the living room. ryan is sitting next to him. they're playing mario kart.

"guys," tyler starts, breathlessly. "i met a boy."

ashley sits beside ryan, the three of them watching as tyler practically throws himself to the carpeted floor, careful to make sure he doesn't land on pablo. he sighs dramatically, fluttering his eyelashes dreamily while he hugs the stuffie against his chest.

"a boy?" brendon urges. "who?"

"name's josh," tyler informs, his cheeks growing hot just thinking about the boy. "very cute. goes to the gym."

"josh who?" ashley asks.

"dun. just transferred," tyler adds. "never seen him before."

"yeah, never heard of him," ryan comments.

ashley must notice tyler is slowly regressing because she quickly interrupts. "can we talk about wednesday before you get too small, ty?"

tyler groans softly, sitting crisscross applesauce on the floor in front of his friends. he positions pablo to sit on his lap. "fine..."

"okay," ashley looks to brendon and ryan. "it's not going to be some huge thing. some of ryan's friends, some du brothers, i'll probably invite a few people. you're welcome to too, if you want."

tyler thinks it's funny. he doesn't have any friends besides them.

"and if you're feeling too small to participate, we'll hang out in your room until everyone leaves. if you're feeling big, well then it's up to you to decide what you want to do. okay?" she says, confirming what tyler had already been assuming.

tyler blinks. "okayyyy..."

"okay," ashley smiles. "now, what movie would you like to watch?"

"monsters inc!" tyler shouts instinctively.

"should've seen that one coming."