Have you ever felt, at one point in your life that you have lived up to now, you felt that everything was piled together and formed an invisible fortress that pinned you down from all sides? Even though the fort is actually invisible, you can feel that your heart and soul are being locked in a place that is so narrow and cramped. It's so narrow that you feel like the heart in your chest cavity is going to explode at any moment.

That kind of horrible feeling probably couldn't be described perfectly. Because indeed, a feeling that is so complex and complicated doesn't usually have an appropriate equivalent in a sentence. Everything feels chaotic, and it's really hard not to think about all the negative things that have already been crammed into my head.

Terrifying. Absolutely terrifying. And that's how Becca feels now.

Negative emotions, bad thoughts from the events that she has experienced so far, conversations that involve her, to the big responsibility that resembles a giant boulder being dropped on her shoulders, makes her unable to think at all. All that was in her head now were voices she didn't recognize, whispering and shouting. Making all those strange sounds mixed together in her head that was already abysmally.

Serial murder cases that have become increasingly chaotic and horrific, her responsibility for innocent lives that have been lost due to the obsession and revenge of a psychopath, the terror aimed at herself and her family, the attempted murder of a member of her investigative team, and the new fact that one its members are troubled cops who have killed more than two people and are still licensed to serve and carry firearms today.

Even though Becca is trying hard to organize all the problems that are now burdening her, sorting them based on a scale of priority so that she can slowly solve them without having to make her head explode, all the arrangements that she has fixed in such a way keep crumbling every second. She can already feel, psychologically and her mind can no longer help her.

Saint, the head of the division, called her into her room after finishing everything related to the bodies at the crime scene (of course that included serious talks with the victims' families regarding the authorization of the autopsy). She didn't meet Freen in the office after that, several people she asked told Becca that the woman had gone to the hospital to treat a knife cut on her hand.

That man—no, her older bro and mentor talked about sensitive matters related to her mental and psychological health. Saint himself seemed to know very well about the contrasting changes in her personality until finally, as a result of her condition which might have been worrying enough to affect work performance, Saint finally called her to grant a dispensation—let's say it was a subtler delivery of suspension.

Yes, at least that's a light sentence that deserves to be given to her after attacking a forensic member to the point of being injured just because of a hallucination.

Initially, Becca certainly did not accept what Saint said. Indirectly, he also hurt her integrity and dedication as an active police officer. But because her boss said everything seriously—including the worst risk if she continued to force herself to work with an unstable psychological condition—and also promised that she would be allowed to return after one month.

One month is a very long time for her, but it might still be quite short for Saint. The man had mentioned that Becca could have been suspended for three months if her actions—shooting a firearm at random moments and holding Freen with a gun were counted. That includes carelessness in using firearms because she could potentially kill Freen with the safety of her pistol being released.

At that time, Becca also did not think about keeping the safety of her gun. Everything happened so fast that Becca didn't have time to think twice about the risks of what she was doing. If she was even a little slower, Freen could beat Seng until he was dying. If that was the case, they would lose the opportunity to interrogate him for important information.

By the way, during Becca's layoffs, her position as head of the special investigation team will be temporarily handed over to another member. Which one will be determined later by Saint after discussing with other members and also other division leaders. It should be noted that the special investigation team led by Becca is currently a team that has a crucial position in the police because it is currently receiving a lot of attention from the public and the media so that everything that happens, especially in the personnel's structure, must be considered and managed very well.

The investigation into the serial murder case continues while Becca is not on duty. Maybe she will get some information about the progress of the investigation from her friends, but still she cannot serve because she does not have a letter of assignment and the right to an investigation while she is suspended.

And here she is now, in a rehabilitation facility that focuses on serving matters related to mental and psychological health. Saint himself suggested this place to her because he had a psychiatrist acquaintance there and Becca herself also didn't want to bother looking for another place so she decided to go there.

Coming with a grumpy face and obvious darkened eye bags, Becca almost scared some of the nurses at the reception desk when she asked about registration and some other information about a psychiatrist who is an acquaintance of Saint—Doctor Billy. After explaining a few things and getting a queue number to enter the room, Becca left the registration desk and walked down the hall to the room where she would meet her doctor later.

It took her a few minutes and asked three nurses to find a door with the name Patchanon Ounsaard hanging over the white door. As soon as she found it, Becca breathed a sigh of relief and found the closest seat to wait.

While she leaning back on a chair, falls silent and contemplating while looking at everyone who happened to pass in front of her, Becca unconsciously still took the time to pay attention to the features, figures, and clothes that everyone was wearing. She laughed sadly—her habit after she became a police officer was really embedded deep in her personality. Even when she is not on duty, she still pays attention to everyone who passes by in such detail.

Was this one of the things weighing heavily on her mind? Maybe.

Thought-speaking, something suddenly popped into her head. Regarding the monster changing the way it kills its victims. In the two previous murder cases, she killed her victims very cleanly and neatly. She strangled her victims, drowned them in softener mixed with bleach, then skinned them like cows before finally making them look like statues for public displays.

The first time she saw the body from afar and bloodied, Becca thought she was being confronted by another murder case. Her assumption was broken just like that when Freen called her to hand over a paper from the killer that was left for her—and that's why she could know that the one who did this barbaric thing was the same killer she was looking for now.

The problem is; why did she change her way of killing, but still maintain the pattern she made? The only reason Becca could think of was to avoid the police starting to sniff out her trail. But that assumption turned out to be completely wrong because the killer still left anonymous letters behind and made sure the police knew that the body was her work—with a slightly different twist.

Another thing that made her suspicious was Lieutenant Sarocha who discovered the car with the bodies for the first time. That's because, of the many people who might pass there, why her? No, it's not that she suspected Freen of being the culprit. Becca only felt a lot more alert because she knew the monster had managed to get someone on the police force to kill her.

Seng.

he didn't expect that he was influenced by someone to kill her—at least that's what she knew until now. From what she remembers, Seng is currently receiving special services from other personnel in the interrogation room and is still ongoing. So she still doesn't know what information the man gave.

She remembered the famous serial murder case that happened two or three years ago. The case occurred in Japan, in the Tokyo area to be precise. Better known as the BlackMail Serial Murder and the Doberman Serial Murders. The two cases cannot be separated because they are interrelated. Even in international news headlines, these two cases are always mentioned together.

Indeed, she never found detailed information on the case because of the language barrier which made it difficult to get the information she needed. But she knew that the perpetrators of the Doberman serial murders is a person who were very close to the police, who at that time were in charge of investigating both cases. Who knows if the perpetrator of the murder that the entire police unit has been looking for is someone close to the policeman?

That's what Becca had in mind. It was her memory of this case that made Becca feel she had to be more aware of the people around her. Because sometimes, the people who hurt us so badly are people who are very close to us.

Exhaling and using the back of her hand to wipe the drops of sweat that unconsciously started to roll down her forehead and the sides of her face, her reverie was suddenly interrupted by the queue number that was displayed large on the monitor beside the door changing to show her number. Becca glanced at the small sheet of paper in her hand to make sure before actually standing up and moving inside.

Doctor Billy's office is a square-like room with a desk full of files and papers neatly arranged in another corner of the room. There, Billy sat patiently while waiting for her—the man seemed to know she was coming to the point where he stood beside the table with an enthusiastic look.

"Saint told me that one of his personnel would come. Please sit down," Billy motioned for Becca to sit on a chair across from his desk. He then walked back to his own chair and began to read the patient information sheet that his assistant had given him. "Rebecca Patricia Armstrong. As I thought, you're not originally from Thailand?" he asked as he turned the sheet of paper and read the other side of the paper.

"My father is British, my mother is a native of Thailand."

Billy nodded and placed the information sheet on the table. He then bent down to open a drawer and again took out several sheets of documents and placed them on the table. "I think before we start we need to know more about you and the reason why you came here. Because it's our first meeting and what we do will be very, very easy."

Becca exhaled. She was already embarrassed to see the papers and a ballpoint pen given to her. "You're not going to ask me a few things and give me some medicine instead? I need to get this over with and get back to work."

"To diagnose the psychological disorder that you are experiencing cannot be done quickly. There needs to be a professional approach through several methods before I can conclude. And that paper is one of them," Billy leaned back in his chair, "you came here for something serious. Saint told me you were quite bothered by the recent murder case, right?"

"Let's keep this conversation from getting out of context with the patient and the doctor, shall we?" Becca forced a smile. As much as possible she tried to remain polite in front of Billy even though she completely did not like her job being brought up. It makes her seem like a madman who needs special attention. With a bit of annoyance, Becca took a pen and started to focus on filling out the anamnesa as requested.

Billy chuckled at Becca's response. It was exactly what Saint had told him earlier—he had to be careful when he spoke to Rebecca Armstrong. With the way she responds to other people, the woman is probably not playing with her words if she threatens to cut off the head of someone she finds annoying.

In a way, Billy already knew what Becca's problem was. It was Saint who told him in detail about this patient—and that was the reason why Billy considered Becca to be one of the priority patients at the moment. Changes in attitude and personality that are too striking that need special attention. Usually people will experience something like that if they experience great pressure in their lives so that they can no longer control themselves according to environmental conditions.

Coupled with hallucinations. Billy also knows that Becca attacked the forensic officer who worked with her. She claimed the officer intended to attack her with a knife which was never there. He was sure that such hallucinations had been experienced by Becca many times. But the woman remained silent and hid her condition until she was hallucinating more and more often.

A while ago Billy accidentally brought up a bit about Becca's job. She immediately flinched when he mentioned the murder case. So for the time being, Billy suspects that this serial murder case has affected Becca's psychological condition. She had reached the serious stage because the hallucinations she experienced made her unable to distinguish illusions from reality until she injured other people. And Billy is grateful Saint was generous enough to give Becca time to get serious treatment.

Billy is also happy to help, too. After all, he had promised Saint to help as much as possible as a form of return because Saint had saved him from a robbery that occurred at his house two years ago.

"Ah, great. Thank you, Armstrong," Billy held up the anamnesa sheets that Becca had filled out. His eyes scanned all the information that was there while glancing at Becca from behind the paper. "When do you want to schedule the next meeting?" he asked.

Becca looked thoughtful for a moment. Then she replied, "Next week? Wednesday, 3 p.m.?"

"Thank goodness you chose at 3 p.m. I had other schedules in the afternoon so I was about to refuse and move your schedule to another day." Billy took a paperclip from the drawer. He used it to tidy up Becca's anamnesa sheet before placing it upside down on the table. "You know, Saint is my close friend. His friend is my friend too. So you don't have to be so formal with me and just think of us as friends who have known each other for a long time, okay?"

"Okay," And again, Becca nodded and replied soberly. It was obvious she wasn't interested in other conversation topics.

Billy smiled faintly. But even though in Becca's eyes the smile was made so that she would not feel pressured during the examination, she could still discover that Billy was actually hiding something very serious. That implicit expression was hidden deep within his dark irises. Whatever it was, Becca was smart enough that what was on Billy's mind was something she didn't want to know—at least, for now.

Like having a telepathy, Billy seemed to understand what was on Becca's mind. The man then tilted his head. In a softer—and more understanding tone, he says, "Don't worry, Armstrong. If you have enough ambition to recover, you can definitely get through this. You're not alone because we're going to get through this together, okay?"

--0--

Her conversation with Doctor Billy some time ago made her heart feel very heavy. She couldn't stop herself from thinking something negative about herself. What's wrong with her? Why did Billy look a little stunned before the man had finished their meeting and sent Becca out of the room?

Becca growled in frustration. Her balance suddenly dropped, causing the woman to stagger so that she had to lean against the wall. Her eyes watered—she didn't cry, never wanted to cry. But today, she had shed tears because her heart suddenly ached.

She's scared. Very scared. She was not ready for all that she would know about her psychic condition. She fears that one day she will never be able to return to the way she was before. She was afraid that one day she would completely lose control of herself—truly, just imagining it made Becca's throat constrict. It was really stifling, knowing that something was wrong with her while she didn't have someone who was trusted enough to share her emotions with her.

She no longer wanted anyone else to stare at her like a madman to be shunned, she didn't want her co-workers to see her as someone to be pitied.

What? What sins have I ever committed until I got something as bitter and painful as this?

Perhaps her condition was worrying enough that a nurse had approached her and asked if she was okay or needed a little help. Becca immediately refused. The excuse that she was a little uncomfortable because of the cold that had attacked her since last night—even though she was in good health—was so the nurse could leave her.

The lie worked. The nurse left after telling her to be careful and get enough rest. Becca immediately left the corridor because she didn't want to attract more people's attention.

When she was already in the lobby, she didn't know why, but something forced her to look at the row of chairs used to wait for patient calls. The desire was so compelling that finally Becca gave in and she actually looked at the rows of chairs. And she was really surprised because she found a woman in a black shirt with a white canvas jacket staring at her from afar.

Freen, that woman is over there.

Becca isn't hallucinating. It really was her, Sarocha Chankimha.

The woman in the black T-shirt immediately stood up from her seat as soon as her eyes met Becca's. She walked away from the chair, looking a little hesitant to approach Becca so Freen immediately stopped in the middle of the road and decided to wait for Becca to approach her.

Becca pulled the corners of her lips up and made an awkward smile that looked very stiff. She waved forward, at the long-haired woman standing in the facility's lobby. "Hi?" she called. Ha, look, how awkward this is. I know Freen is mocking at me deep inside her heart.

"Hi. Sorry, didn't mean to stalk you or anything. I asked the Saint so I know you came to this place and she also gave me orders to watch over you while you got suspended."

Becca gasped. She almost snapped at Freen right then and there. But she soon pulled herself together considering she was in a public place and she also didn't want to end up tied up in one of the wards, so she just took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Saint asked Freen to watch over her like a city prisoner? Oh, good. Is there anything worse for her?

Not wanting to attract Freen's attention and subject her to other unimportant questions, Becca finally opened up another question. "Okay, you asked Saint about me. Why did you do that and why do you care?"

"Am I not allowed to behave like this towards my co-workers? Have you forgotten who came to treat you at the hospital?" another woman replied. Her voice sounded like someone who was desperate—maybe she felt disappointed because of Becca's words just now. Freen then waved her hand in thin air and continued, "I don't want to argue with you anymore because I want to make our relationship better, Armstrong. So, please?"

Becca fell silent. Freen was unusually looking at her like a cat begging for food. The pair of light brown eyes looked at her gently, as if giving affirmation that she was really serious about what she was saying. Jeez, Becca felt guilty for answering Freen so curtly a while ago.

The younger was just about to apologize. But she failed to say a word of apology because she realized there was something new she saw on the face of the woman in front of her. An elongated scratch wound, half horizontal in shape starting from the bottom of the eye to the cheek. It may not be more than six inches long and quite deep. The scar is still red, indicating that the blood in the scratch is not dry yet.

"Your face... injured? What's wrong with your face?" her hand involuntarily moved on its own to touch Freen's jaw. She lowered Freen's face so that her face was level with her eyes. Now, she could clearly see the red scratches on Freen's face. The sides of the wound are not very neat and tend to be rough, in contrast to wounds that come from sharp object incisions. "Who scratched your face?"

Realizing what she was doing was beyond her control and feeling she had done something impolite to her senior, Becca hastily removed her touch from Freen's face and stepped back. On the other hand, Freen looked confused by Becca's question. The woman touched her own face and when her fingertips touched the scratched wound, she suddenly winced in pain.

"I—I don't know. This probably because of Seng," she said. She stared at her own face using the dead cell phone screen. "Damn, how come I didn't realize this before. Knowing this I will cover it with a band-aid."

Becca asked again, "Does it hurt? The wound looks pretty deep."

"Just a little. Don't mind this, it's not a big deal." Freen put her phone down. Now she no longer touched her face even though she was clearly bothered by the scratches under her eyes. The tall woman turned back to Becca and said, "So what did the doctor tell you?"

"It's nothing important. He just asked me to fill out an anamnesa and schedule another meeting next week," Becca replied. "And you, why did you come to this place just to meet me?"

Freed shrugged. "I know you don't want to stay in your house until this murder case is over. So I'm offering my apartment for you to stay in for a while. Don't worry, my apartment is big enough for two people to live in. We will not cross paths while doing our own business."

Oh, God. If I do get diagnosed with a psychosis, I'm hoping this one is one of the hallucinations engendered by the disorder.

Becca bit her bottom lip. Surprised, displeased, and speechless. She was really surprised by Freen's words just now. "Hell, no! I'd rather stay at my parents' house."

"It doesn't matter. I just want to help you only. But I hope you will consider this considering now that the killer has made you one of her targets and she knows your family very well. I'm worried that if you insist on living there, it will actually put your family in danger," Freen explained. And for god's sake, satan, and demon why did that woman look so different from usual. She seemed more... friendly, maybe? What did Saint stuff her? Drugs? Becca couldn't understand the change in the aura and demeanor of the woman in front of her. She wanted to reply, but Freen quickly interrupted her, "Besides, I can give you case updates periodically. If you don't want to, that's fine, really. The choice is yours and I have only come to make you this offer once."

Becca looked thoughtful. She walked away from Freen a few steps and turned her back on her. Freen, a stranger—correction, a co-worker she had only known for a few weeks asked her to live together in an apartment. This woman seems like a person who will beat up anyone who crosses the personal boundaries she has made, but for reasons of Saint's orders she wants to and asks Becca to stay with her.

Ok, fine. It's time to think. Becca leaned against the cold wall, glanced back to find Freen had moved and was sitting on one of the long chairs in the lobby. The woman was talking to someone on the phone—a serious conversation it seems.

About the offer... if Becca refuses, then she doesn't know if she will stay in Nam's apartment or her own house. That is, if she was sure that nothing would stab her discreetly in the dark corner of her bedroom. Nam also seems to be very busy with corpses so lately she's rarely in the apartment. Even though she asked and Nam would voluntarily give her the keycard, it didn't mean that she could roam freely in her apartment.

But if she accepted Freen's offer, she might be able to get the progress of the case she should be working on more quickly. There will be no information delay and she will not feel left behind either. And maybe I can also do some self-investigation without anyone noticing.

Right, that's it. If she accepted Freen's offer, she could easily get information about the progress of the case. She can also get more protection because she lives with her fellow cops—the killer is brave and wouldn't even know she was there. Perhaps Becca can also dig up more information about Freen Sarocha.

The fact that the police with the title of best personnel was transferred because of a very serious case certainly aroused her curiosity.

After taking a few minutes to think, Becca finally walked back and approached Freen. The woman averted her attention from the phone screen and looked up, showing a straight face as Becca walked over. That expression didn't change one bit as Becca said, "Okay, I accept your offer since we are co-workers and Saint ordered that to you so if I refuse, it will be bad for me."

"So you trust me now?" Freen's eyebrow rose and Becca responded with a lazy nod. "That's good. You can come now and tidy up your room, because I have to go back to the office to meet Mind." The Lieutenant shoved the phone in her trouser pocket and led Becca to the glass door of the facility. At one point, she stopped in her tracks, waiting for Becca to catch up with her at a fast pace.

"Phi Mind? Saint added new personnel while I was away?"

That's right, I haven't introduced Mind to her yet. Freen muttered, she then took a business card from her shirt pocket. "She's a criminal profiler that I told you at the time. She agreed to cooperate with the investigation team and will come to see Heng in a few hours."

"Heng?"

"Yes. While you're gone, he'll be in charge," Freen rolled her eyes lazily. She looked slightly displeased at the mention of the tall man's name. "I don't know what the Boss Saint saw in that him either. There are many other members who are more competent, and it's not Heng."

In a way, Becca had the same thoughts as Freen regarding Heng. The man did work in the police force longer than her, but he lacked any dedication to his work and was too comfortable with what he had now. Maybe that's the reason why he didn't get any promotion even though he's several years older than Becca.

Becca was on her tiptoes for a few seconds. She glanced around the parking area, looking like she was looking for something there. "You brought a car?" she asked. It was a bit strange because she didn't find Freen's white car among the rows of cars parked in the front parking lot.

Freen raised her hand which was bandaged by thick bandages. Something red seemed to seep through the bandages and stain the white surface. The seepage of blood was quite a lot and covered almost the entire bandage that covered the surface of the hand. It looks bad, of course. You can't imagine what would have happened if Freen still insisted on bringing the car. Maybe the blood didn't just seep through, but dripped down like a faucet.

"You think with torn hand like this I can grip the steering wheel comfortably?" Freen asked back—this time her somewhat harsh tone returned and Becca felt like she was really talking to the real Freen now. That annoying attitude returned quickly like a hurricane that blew away dust and leaves.

Becca took a deep breath. She took her car keys from her trouser pocket and walked towards her car which was parked a few meters in front. She waved at Freen, gesturing for her to follow and overtake her. She pressed the button on the car key and a loud sound indicating that the door lock had been opened was heard. Becca opened the door for Freen, letting her in before closing it again and getting into her place in the driver's seat.

"To be honest, I'm quite worried about you. Let's just say this as a result of my feelings of guilt for knocking you out on my first day at the office," Freen started the conversation. She seemed uneasy with the silence that existed.

Becca looked up for a few seconds to reply, "Everyone said so."

"No, I mean... your ambition towards this case. I know you feel really threatened because of the killer, but you should know you're not working here alone. You are indeed responsible for everything, but that doesn't mean you have to do all those things," Freen paused for a moment before moving on to another conversation. "Doctor Nam has identified the fingerprints found on all the hidden cameras in your house. You definitely won't believe the identification results." She smiled faintly.

"Tell me, Sarocha."

"Fine," she replied. "The third victim's fingerprints are on the hidden camera."

"I'm becoming more and more convinced that the killer is in cahoots with several people." The younger woman answered while biting her lip. "There is no way the culprit is just one young woman. Moving corpses from one place to another is too impossible."

"Or maybe not. I think the killer is quite cunning and clever enough to influence other people to move in her favor. There were no signs of resistance from the three previous victims, meaning the victims did not feel threatened before the killings occurred. If the perpetrator conspires, there will definitely be signs of resistance from the victim. Here, we can't find it," Freen spoke at length and paused so that Becca really understood what she was saying. She glanced to the side, found Becca nodded slowly. "Yeah, except for this fourth corpse. She hasn't been autopsied yet, so I can't give you any information."

"Do you know the name of that corpse? I remember the letter S carved on the wall of my private room at home."

"Exactly. I've investigated and found that the perpetrator used the victim's nickname to form the sentence," Freen chuckled. "The fourth victim who was found with her head crushed was named Song. ARMS, four words already. The next victim must have nicknames starting with the letters T, R, O, N, G respectively. Looks like you got the last batch, huh?"

"Don't joke around, Sarocha." Becca closed her eyes for a moment to calm herself. "We have to catch that psycho killer before she kills more people."

Freen chuckled a little. She responded to Becca's answer with a nod. So obsessed with revenge, huh? You want to make the killer feel the same pain as you?

"I've been in your shoes too, Armstrong. It took my whole life. The difference is, now I've got what I'm looking for and just waiting for the time to take revenge. As for you, you still haven't." Freen lowered her voice as she spoke. Looking to the side, Becca found Freen leaning her head against the window pane. The woman stared out at the other vehicles passing by blankly.

Gently slamming on the brakes to stop the car at an intersection with a red traffic light, Becca took her grip off the steering wheel to flex her fingers. "Is that... related to the reason why you were transferred from Chiang Mai?" she asked. In that instant, Becca secretly swore at herself for the impudent question that shouldn't have been.

Freen didn't answer. She also did not show an angry expression because her privacy was disturbed. But Becca knew she was smiling behind the black manes that covered the sides of her face.

"Huh... everything is more complex than just the shooting incident in Chiang Mai, Sergeant. If that's what you're thinking right now."