Chapter 28 : The beginning of a new life
Arriving in front of the Uchiha district, Kakashi, Mitsuki and Sasuke stopped.
"Kakashi, I thank you for supporting us during the ceremony, but I think we should take this next step alone, Sasuke and I..." Mitsuki explained, a shiver running through her as she imagined what was hidden behind the yellow banners forbidding public access.
"Are you sure about this?" worried Kakashi, though he understood their need for privacy as they walked the now deserted streets of the clan, and especially the house that Sasuke had grown up in.
Mitsuki nodded his head with a sorry look on his face. He walked towards her one last time, looking embarrassed, raised an arm towards her shoulders, then changed his mind, before saying:
"If you need anything, you know where to find me."
He disappeared right after, leaving them to take their time to find the strength to go through the doors.
"Ready, Sasuke?" the she-wolf asked after a few minutes.
The boy nodded, slipping his hand into his new tutor's.
Mitsuki took a deep breath, before slipping through the security banners.
The sight wasn't as striking as she thought it would be, though there were still traces of Itachi's passing. The bodies had obviously disappeared, and the blood pools had been cleaned up. The kunai and shuriken had been removed from the walls, leaving only the traces of impact behind. Without these meager clues, no one would have believed the massacre that had taken place here.
They walked mechanically, passing the pond's pontoon where she had sat many times with her friends or Aruna, and finally they arrived in front of his house.
Mitsuki's whole body was shaking uncontrollably. Her eyes remained fixed on the front door, her pupils retracted, and her complexion livid. She felt herself suffocating, looking for air that would not reach her lungs. The images of that cursed evening came back in her head, as clear as if she was reliving it at this very moment.
She felt a jolt against her pelvis, forcing her to look down. Sasuke was hugging her, as hard as his small arms would allow. She finally caught her breath, concentrating on that newfound breath to allow the rest of her body to calm down.
"Thank you, Sasuke-kun..." she murmured, stroking his hair.
The boy loosened his embrace slightly, staring at her with his raven black pupils straight into her eyes.
"Mitsuki-chan. I promise you that I will become strong, the strongest Konoha has ever known. And on that day, I promise to kill him. I will kill Itachi and avenge the clan for what he did to them." he promised her, in a harsh voice she did not know.
A knot formed in the back of her throat. She didn't want to let him think that way, but Itachi's words came back to her clearly. Unable to betray the one she loved, she simply stroked the boy's hair again, without a word.
She took one last look at the house she had loved so much until that fateful day, and they went on their way, this time stopping only in front of Fugaku and Mikoto's large house.
Mitsuki looked worriedly at Itachi's little brother, but he was surprisingly serene, determined. He opened the front door without further ado, and took off his shoes before going into the living room. Mitsuki followed him, shyly, unable to feel at home under the roof of those who had welcomed him as a member of their family.
"I'm not showing you around, you already know the place," Sasuke said to her, who had already gone to another room.
"Of course ... " replied the she-wolf looking at the furniture that had obviously not moved, as if everything was normal, as if none of this had happened.
"I... I have only one request for you, Mitsuki-chan..." announced Sasuke confused, as he met her in the living room.
"Anything you want, my Sasuke-kun," Mitsuki reassured him.
"I... I wish... I wish you wouldn't use my parents' room... I'd like to keep it the way my mother left it... Before leaving..." Sasuke stammered with difficulty.
"I understand. I will not set foot in it, rest assured," the she-wolf assured him tenderly.
"That means that you're left with only... my... Itachi's room. Itachi's room." the boy said, as if the mere mention of his brother's name was repulsive to him.
Mitsuki retched. Living in Itachi's room... She hadn't thought about it, and suddenly felt uncomfortable. Living in the room of the dead didn't particularly appeal to her, but entering the privacy of the one she loved so much wasn't much easier.
"Okay, Sasuke-kun," she agreed.
"This one, you can arrange it as you wish, I don't want anything from him anymore, and you should do the same..." the young Uchiha granted her, sliding her gaze to the bracelet and necklace Itachi had given to the Hata.
"You're right, I just need a little time," Mitsuki tempered, gently grasping the cherry blossom in her hand.
An almost imperceptible grimace crossed the boy's face, before he headed back to his room.
"I'm going shopping, Sasuke-kun. Do you want anything in particular?" Mitsuki caught up with him, thinking at the same time to give him some space to regain possession of his house, and maybe let his emotions speak.
He shook his head, before leaving her for good.
She then left the house, regaining a normal heart rate as she moved away from the neighborhood. She felt ridiculous, if the little Uchiha could cope with the idea of continuing her life here, why was it so insurmountable for her?
She scanned the sky for a moment, discerning a black bird circling there. It was just a common raven... What did she expect? Itachi had made it clear that he would never contact her again. She needed him so much though, he had comforted her so many times in the past. She sighed again, realizing how ridiculous it was, and then she hit a body head on.
She gently rubbed her forehead and winced, apologizing.
"That's what happens when you walk looking up at the sky," a familiar voice said with amusement.
She finally opened one eye, then a second, before recognizing Asuma, a cigarette still between her lips.
"Oh it's you..." gasped Mitsuki, confused.
"You, it's you!" corrected the bearded man, putting his fists on his hips.
(NDA : In French, there are two distinct pronouns to address politely or familiary a person, here Mitsuki addresses politely Asuma, and addresses familiary Kurenai)
"Yes, of course, excuse me, I often take time to be ... Mitsuki explained, a warm smile on his lips.
"That's not what Kakashi told us the first time you met him. He described you more as a cheeky mini-tornado and far too intrusive." laughed Asuma.
"Really?" exclaimed Mitsuki, outraged.
Asuma laughed even more at the scowl on the she-wolf's face.
"What did you do to her now?" a woman's voice growled behind him.
"Oh, hi Kurenai! How are you?" inquired the girl, obviously pleased to see her.
"And you don't say "Hello" to Kurenai?" grumbled Asuma, offended.
"If you stopped teasing her every time you see her, maybe she wouldn't see you as a spoiled old man anymore!" teased Kurenai gently.
"But... Kurenai!" the Sarutobi snapped.
They bickered for a moment, before realizing the she-wolf was missing.
"Damn, we really did get her away..." sighed Asuma.
"Kakashi will give us a hard time if he finds out about this..." Kurenai admitted.
"If I find out what?" asked the gray-haired man who came up behind them, catching them off guard.
"Well... We just ran into Mitsuki, but she disappeared while we were... Asuma reported to him.
"Hmm... You obviously did everything you could to make her feel comfortable, I have no doubt." Kakashi replied wryly.
"I...yes, it's fne." Asuma frowned.
"Excuse me, Kakashi, but she looked a little out of it..." Kurenai reported, concerned.
"She just lost everyone she cared about, at the hands of the one she probably trusted the most. She went through an alley of malicious rumors to be able to pay her respects to the one who had made her taste life again with dignity, and finally, I left her a little more than an hour ago in front of the Uchiha district, where she probably saw again the house that sheltered her, as well as the one she is supposed to move to, which is none other than the house of Itachi Uchiha's family. Now I'll let you draw your own conclusions about her state of mind", the ex-ANBU said in a scathing voice.
"No need to be so aggressive, Kakashi..." Asuma reproached him severely, arms crossed.The gray-haired young man sighed, letting his tension go down.
"I know you're worried about her, Kakashi. But don't carry the weight of her grief on your shoulders alone. Mitsuki and I still don't know each other very well, but I assure you that we all want her to feel comfortable in this village again. We will get to know her, gain her trust, and watch over her with you" Kurenai reassured him in a soft voice.
Kakashi thanked her with a look for understanding him so well.
"You should take some time for yourself too, my friend. Your dark circles are scary to see. Let her breathe for a while, and go rest." Asuma ordered her, earning another reproachful look from the dog master.
"He's right, you know." Kurenai supported him with a soft chuckle, "You've been by her side almost 24 hours a day for... Ten days? Two weeks now? When was the last time you got a real night's sleep? Go get some rest, you'll come back all the more willing to support her afterwards. She's not going to fly away you know."
"Hm... Who knows..." sighed Kakashi again, a look directed at the sky, where the raven was still circling.
Further away, Mitsuki was carefully choosing items to prepare good meals for Sasuke, to make him forget about the modest dishes in the hospital. She was concentrating on each vegetable she was taking mostly to forget the crowd of people around her. She then realized the comfortable cocoon that Kakashi had made her used to, away from all the hustle and bustle that suddenly made her nauseous. She gave up the idea of going out after having just enough food to last a few meals, her heart too tight to see all this happiness and life, when in her head everything was so empty and dark.
She hurried towards the Uchiha district, reaching Sasuke's house while keeping her gaze fixed on the ground so as not to see Aruna's house.
"I'm home!" she announced to herself as she untied her shoes, before putting the groceries away in the kitchen.
Not getting an answer, and not seeing any trace of Sasuke, the she-wolf started looking for him. She didn't find him in his room, and couldn't hear him in the bathroom. Finally cheating by using her nose, she followed his trail to what she feared the most: the place where Mikoto and Fugaku had been shot.
She put her hand against the door, hesitating for a moment. But when sobs came through, she gently slid it open, before joining the little boy kneeling where only discreet traces of blood remained. His whole little body was shaken by the disordered breaths that escaped from his mouth.
"Mom ... Daddy..." she heard him plead several times.
Mitsuki crouched down next to him, gently sliding a hand down the boy's back, who tensed under the contact. He turned his face away from the she-wolf to hide the tears that flowed unchecked from his big black eyes.
"Sasuke-kun, don't ever be ashamed to cry in front of me," the girl whispered tenderly as she grabbed the boy's chin to make him look into her eyes, before gently wiping his pale cheeks.
"But you, you never show your emotions. You're so strong..." the little boy remarked, a touch of jealousy in his voice.
Mitsuki couldn't hold back a small laugh, which made Sasuke's eyes widen in surprise.
"Relax, my Sasuke. When I found out about Aruna... I cried, I cried a lot. When your...when Kakashi found me under the cherry tree, I cried. When I saw you in the hospital, I cried every night until you woke up. And this morning at the ceremony, the rain allowed me to hide every tear I shed, but I can tell you that there again, I cried. I was just... ashamed I guess, to feel so sad when you lost so much. I wanted to be strong for you, I never thought it would make you feel bad about your feelings" Mitsuki assured him in a soft voice.
The boy looked at her surprised, before relaxing.
"Letting your emotions out doesn't make you weak, on the contrary" Mitsuki kissed his forehead.
They remained thus kneeling one against the other silently for a few moments.
"And Itachi?" the boy whispered with aplomb.
"What do you mean, Itachi?" the she-wolf repeated, surprised.
"You loved him, didn't you? Do you still love him? Do you miss him? Would you have wanted to leave with him?" Sasuke questioned her in one breath, his dark eyes suddenly locked on the red one of the she-wolf, as if he was anticipating her reaction.
Mitsuki froze, not expecting him to bring up the subject in such a way, and so suddenly. She looked away, noticing that the boy's jaw was tightening at the same time, before answering in a breath:
"It's more complicated than that."
"What's complicated? He took you as much as he took me! He betrayed you as much as he betrayed me! Are you even angry at him?" Sasuke snapped.
"I..." Mitsuki began to stammer, caught off guard.
"Never mind," Sasuke concluded before getting up and walking out, leaving her alone in front of the invisible bodies of her parents.
She gritted her teeth, angry at herself for not being able to find the words right in front of Sasuke. She had hurt him when they were just starting to grieve and she had made him angry from the very first moments of their living together.
She hit the floor angrily, before leaving the room in her turn. She felt the boy in his room, and chose to prepare the meal not to bother him more.
Sasuke did not come downstairs when she announced that the meal was ready. So she sat at the table, alone, barely nibbling, her throat too constricted to swallow anything.
She eventually made her way to the rooms, stopping briefly in front of Sasuke's door.
"Forgive me... Sasuke-kun." she breathed as she slipped a hand over it, her voice choked by the tears that filled her red eyes again.
She felt a slight movement inside, guessing that he had heard her. She finally left him, and went to Itachi's room.
She stopped again at the door, her heart clenching in her chest. She slipped a trembling hand over the handle, before opening it with a slight creak.
Inside, everything was as she already knew it. Her nostrils immediately caught the comforting scent of her raven, triggering a new wave of sadness.
She fell back on the bed, exhausted, wrapping herself in the blankets soaked in Itachi's scent. She cried for a long time, without any restraint, now that she was alone.
The next day she woke up early and decided to prepare breakfast. The young Uchiha arrived shortly after, much to her surprise, not expecting him to want to see her again any time soon. He sat down at the table in silence, grabbing some toast she had made for him.
She looked at him without a sound, fearing that he was still angry after their discussion the night before. Suddenly, the boy's dark eyes met the she-wolf's, making her briefly jump.
"I shouldn't have lost my temper with you yesterday... I know you're doing your best," Sasuke sighed, puffing out his cheeks slightly in an annoyed grimace.
"Don't think about it, Sasuke-kun. I understand your anger... I want you to know that these jewels represent nothing more to me than the memory of a life I loved to live. I don't feel the way I felt about your brother anymore. And even though I still need some time to mourn my feelings, I don't want any barriers between us. I promised to support you, and that starts with forgetting everything that connected me to Itachi," Mitsuki said with aplomb.
A glint passed quickly in Sasuke's eyes, pleased to see her come to her senses. Mitsuki didn't release her tension, relieved that he believed her words. It was hard for her to stop the feelings she had for the Nukenin, but her priority was to be able to look after the young Uchiha and keep his trust, at any cost.
After another silence, Sasuke announced:
"I'm going back to the Academy today."
"Already? You just got out of the hospital..." Mitsuki pointed out.
"I've wasted enough time as it is. If I want to get stronger, I have to go back to school now." Sasuke replied.
"Alright then. I'll go with you then. It'll be good for me to get some fresh air," Mitsuki offered.
They quickly finished their meal, before heading to the school.
Mitsuki saw Iruka in the distance. He waved to her and she answered without coming closer. The Sensei respected the distance she kept between them, understanding that it was difficult for her to see him take over from his tutor.
The days went on and on. Mitsuki had resumed her work at the hospital with a heavy heart, under the benevolent eye of Kakashi who regularly made sure that she didn't lack anything. She still took the habit of accompanying and looking for Sasuke every day at the Academy, which seemed to please her. She even suggested him to go to train together, helping him to perfect his Ninja weapons, and his Taijutsu. During their sessions, an ANBU was always present to make sure she didn't use any chakra, and she diligently respected this silent agreement with the council, knowing that she was being watched even more since Itachi's departure.
Sasuke became colder with time, even icy with his classmates, but he tolerated Mitsuki, sharing
with her the demons of that terrible night.
Life went on as usual.
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