"I am starting to think that the oracle was screwing with us."

"Silence!" One of the men barked, clapping Ramirez across the back of the head with an open palm. Ramirez jerked forward with a grunt of pain, and seeing that, Adam was having the sudden, sneaking suspicion that.... Everything wasn't what it seemed to be.

At first, the whole thing had screamed of elaborate tourism. Let the tourists show up and think they are going on some cool quest, and then make them overpay to meet with some lady who was just super high, but the way these men were acting...

Adam was beginning to agree with Ramirez.

If their adventure as Sheriff's deputies had been real then wasn't there all the likelihood that this was real as well? Just because you show up to someplace exotic doesn't mean it was designed like that to amuse you. He wouldn't take a hop and a skip over to Japan and just assume that the different customs there were an elaborate ploy to get money off of tourists....

Well maybe on Earth that sort of thing could totally happen, but looking at these men.... Their physiques, their clothing,their weapons, and the very real, point of their spears, he was becoming aware that maybe they had stumbled on something a lot more serious than they had first thought.

Shit.

He seemed to have a habit of doing things like that.

He glanced around at the small contingent of men who walked with them. As he had noticed before each and every one of them was absolutely shredded, not necessarily in the bodybuilder kind of way, but in a way that made it clear these guys never skipped leg day, arm, day or cardio.

Adam and Ramirez were no slouches; by comparison, both of them hitting the gym at least five times a week for an hour at least, but in comparison?

And of course they didn't hide it either.

Each of the men carried a massive circular shield and spears taller than they were. They had on sandals with greaves and simple leather wraps, most of them were bare chested, though their commanding officer wore a breastplate, all of them wore helmets.

"Laconia!"

His sudden exclamation startled the man as well as Ramirez,

"Shit, I just realized why that sounded familiar."

One of the men turned to look at his commanding officer, "I do not think they are Athenians, sir." He glanced back at Adam, "Too dumb."

The other men laughed at his expense.
Adam frowned, "Sorry my knowledge of ancient greek geographical locations isn't up to snuff."

He was silenced with another slap to the head, and with his ears ringing and one eye fuzzy, he finally accepted that this was, in fact, not a joke. Somehow, for some reason that dumbass oracle had sent them out to get potentially sacrificed by a group of Neospartans, and he doubted they were going to be able to sue for damages.

It took almost the whole day to make it to "Sparta" itself, though he became aware of their approaching closeness when small dwellings began appearing on the edge of fields. It was only when he figured out that Spartans needed to eat too that he realized not ALL of them were going to be big buff badasses. Of course, that was until he saw the farmer pulling the plow, who was in fact Hercules's cousin on his father Zeus's side.

Okay so maybe things were a bit different.

He was under the impression back during the age of real Sparta, a lot of spartan citizens were just normal people and it was only a select few who were turned into warriors. Women, while they had some rights than in other places, were still expected to stay home and take care of things while the men were off at war. She had to be strong, but that was only because she was expected to raise spartan sons, or something like that. He couldn't remember exactly how that sort of thing worked, he wasn't a historian. For all he knew Spartan women were just as shredded as the men.

A truth that seemed apparent for thee spartans because, as they made it to the next little farming house, a woman turned to look at them and damn it was like the Amazons met the spartans. She wasn't particularly tall by anyone's standards, but she looked like did mixed martial arts for a living.

He had no doubt she could probably kick his ass.

Ramirez had gone rather silent as he looked around nodding to himself every so often as they were dragged through the outlying villages and farms, and eventually up a set of stone steps leading into a city which was surrounded by lush medeteranian hills and grasslands on either side.

The city itself was no slouch either. It wasn't as artistically expressive as New Athens had been, ut there was no shortage of statues, and interesting architecture. Walking down the street, everyone they met was shredded or well on their way to becoming so. The men, the women, everyone but the children.

He noticed a few differences from ancient histories, including but not limited to the fact that the women were just as armored as the men, the many races and ethnicities, and the strange assortment of modern day dogs that roamed the place, which he thought was a strange addition.

A line of marching soldiers passed by wearing their red and gold, and as they went Ramirez turned his head to follow them, "Welp, I am pretty sure I had a dream like this once."

"Did you dream include us dying horribly?"

"Does being crushed between someone's thighs count?"

Adam sighed and rolled his eyes to the heavens, "how can you be thinking like that at a time like this?"

"How can you not, I am scared and way turned on and it is the most confusing feeling I have ever had in my life.... Aren't you just a little?"

Adam frowned and was surprised to find that, "No, he didn't think so. He was JEALOUS of plenty of these men, but none of the men or women caught his eye in that way, at least he didn't think so."

Ramirez stared at him and shook his head sadly.

"What?"

"Still thinking about your breakup huh?"

"No I'm not."

"Quiet." One of the men hissed raising a hand to backhand one of them, though he stopped as a voice called out from before them.

"Captain NIcos, you have returned from your patrol."

It was a woman's voice this time, and as they looked up an armored figure stepped down from the steps to the columned temple. She wore a bright golden breastplate, knee length red skirt and golden greaves and bracers. An attendant at her shoulder carried her Helm, though she kept hold of her spear and circular shield. She was at least six feet tall and had a body like the she hulk though her face was exceptionally beautiful as well, with large brown eyes and full lips.

The man raised his spear to her, "Queen Xanthia."

The man around them raised their spears as well.

She stepped forward over the stone, "What have you found here." She used the tip of her spear to reach under Ramirez's chin and tilt his head back, "Athenians?'

"They say they are 'from Athens, but not "Athenian." Captain Nicos said shoving Adam forward so he tripped and fell to his knees on the hard stone.

She grunted and turned her attention to him, tilting his head back to look at her, "Is this true, not-an-Athenian."

He crinched away from the blade of her spear, "I'm Mericandian actually, Terran, Earthling."

There were a couple grunts of surprise from around the group.

"Tourists." Ramirez piped in.

Xanthia frowned, raising her chin, "And how did you end up on Laconia. We don't encourage tourists here."

"Would you believe it if I said that asshole of an oracle sent us here." He raised his hands, "We meant no disrespect of course, we just came here to see the sights and then leave."

Ramirez nodded.

There was another muttering from the crowd. She had an eyebrow raised, "The oracle you say?"

The two of them nodded again, not sure where this was going.

She turned her head to Captain Nicos, "Keep a close eye on them, I will speak with the king"

She turned on her heels and walked off, passing through the double doors with a swish of her red cloak, leaving the two of them still kneeling on the rough stone.

They turned to look at each other in nervous confusion, not entirely sure where this was going. Overhead the sky had dimmed to a dull blue and torches were being lit all up the city streets. The young man who was doing the lighting had the look of a classic greek hero with tight curly hair and a body borrowed from a demigod.

The two of them didn't say anything until the doors opened and the queen walked back out, "The king wishes to see the intruders."

Two guards held the doors opened as they were forced to their feet and up the steps. The interior of the room was bare and blunt, no more than stone pillars and a single uncomfortable throne carved out of sharp marble blocks, on which sat the manliest man he had likely ever seen. Xanthia walked over and sat in the identical throne next to him, and together it seemed as if they were being pulled before the throne of the very gods themselves.

This man was godlike, but not the kind of overly muscled where he can't even touch his own head. This was probably what peak human performance looked like with a neatly shaved beard and thick dark hair. Adam glanced over at Ramirez again, to see the other man was nodding in great approval of this development. He turned his head back to the man who stood very slowly, his armor clinking. He wore a short sword on one hip and carried a spear in one hand, and when he moved, he moved with the grace of someone who knew exactly what he was doing, and where his body was at all times.

He walked down the steps and looked the two of them over with steely golden eyes, like those of a wolf.

His gaze fell on Adam for a long hard moment, "I see we have been graced by the presence of a foreign general." He said turning back and stepping up the stone steps.

There was a murmuring in the room around them.

Adam blinked in surprise, "You know who I am."

The Spartan king stood before his seat, but did not sit down, "Well of course."

He held up his arm so Adam could see the scrolling holographic image across his wrist, "Just because I live like a spartan doesn't mean I subjugate my life to not knowing what goes on in the universe. In fact as King it is my duty to know what important developments are being made in this galaxy."

He turned his head to look at Adam ,"I am loyal to this galaxy and the ideals upon which humanity has befriended aliens." He walked across the stone, "And you Admiral Vir are an important linchpin in that model."

He turned to wave a hand at Ramirez, "And of course I know a Marine when I see one."

Another muttering from around the room.

So, this is sort of not what he expected. The Spartan king was well versed in intergalactic politics, and was no slouch intellectually either.

"So, you'll let us go then."

The man did not smile, but the way his eyes twinkled, almost menacingly did not give Adam much hope.

"Oh I never said that." He turned and paced back in the other direction, "You see, Admiral, I have become aware of an unfortunate pattern in humanity's political history, and this includes the fall of empires due to poor or weak leaders." he turned on the spot, "I had given up hope in being able to influence the intergalactic stage, but finding you here has.... Given me an idea."

Oh no.

"I want to see just what kind of men are being tasked with keeping this galaxy together. I want to know if you can do what needs to be done, when it needs to be done. I want to make sure that my people are in good hands, when their good is out of mine."

"What are you talking about."

"I want to make sure you are a brave leader, and that you can fight when is necessary."

He made a motion with his hands and Ramirez was dragged off to the side.

A group of Spartans stepped up and grabbed Adam around the arms hauling him to his feet.

"Bring him to the training field." The king said, and the group of men dragged him forward and out the doors.

Adam tried to protest but he was silenced as he was dragged from the doors, down the walkway and into a large lit arena with a sandy dirt floor. A large group of men were practicing here with their spears and shields, but cleared off as soon as an order was barked.

"What are you doing!" Adam demanded

"Consider this your greek trial, Admiral." The king said taking his own spear and tossing it to Adam, who caught it in one hand, "Fight, and let's see what you can do."
"But I-"

He was handed a shield, and then the group began to pull back.

The king stepped up onto the arena wall and paced down it's length, "Lets see if you can beat one of my men first, and we will go from there."

He motioned a hand and ordered one of the younger men forward. He couldn't have been that old and was not nearly as well put together as the others, but he held his spear and shield with some confidence.

Ok.... this was going to get interesting.

He knew there was nothing he could do to stop them, so Adam dropped into a crouch.

The shield felt awkward and heavy on his arm, but the spear was a familiar weight. They circled for a short time before the boy came charging at him. He could see what the king was doing. This boy was young and had probably trained repeatedly in drills but had never sued weapons in practice..

He was meant to be easy to beat.

Adam stepped to the side and caught the boy's foot sending him staggering away. Adam used the shield to knock him further off balance and sent him plowing into the dirt.

No one made a sound.

It wasn't that impressive. That was SUPPOSED to be easy.

"So at least you have SOME training." The king called. Overhead a shooting star crossed over the heavens. A crowd trickled onto the stands of the arena.

He motioned someone else forward. She too was young, but the set of her face and a scar down her right cheek showed that she had at least SEEN combat at some point. The way she eyed Adam told him that she knew what she was doing.

Her problem?

She was likely to set i nher fighting abilities, not creative enough. He traded a couple of strikes with her, gaging her ability before making his move. He used his shield as a distraction to cover some of his movement so she couldn't see, and then sent a lightning fast jab. He struck a hit hard on the side of her helmet sending her plowing to the Arena floor.

Still no one made a sound.

The king nodded slowly and motioned someone else forward.

This man was an actual soldier, though likely no great shakes, but at least he knew what he was doing. Adam ended up in a sharp flurry of contact before the shield got in his way and he almost took a hard blow to the shoulder , even so he ended up with a delicate cut along the side of his cheek. It was only by way of quick thinking that he was able to duck under one of the swipes and kick the man hard in the sternum. He went flailing back into the dirt, and Adam couldn't help but whisper to himself.

"And this is sparta bitch."

The kind paced around him in a wide circle, "So, someone has trained you in the use of the spear."

Adam growled, "I was trained to fight aliens with four arms, so you are going to have to try harder."

The king smiled, "Confidence.... Always a good sign. But the shield, I think you have not been trained to use one of those."

Adam paused nodded, and then threw the shield to the ground kicking it away.

He took the spear up in two hands, in a distinctly different style from the spartans, "Well, come on then."

WIth the shield gone and his switch back to using a spear like he had been trained he defeated the next three challenges with relative impunity. It was only when the king stared adding extra fighters did Adam struggle.

They clashed hard, Adam ducking dodging and sometimes jumping over swings from his opponents. He dived into the dirt, rolled onto his back and caught two spears as they hurtled down at him. He kicked one in the side of the knee and he went down. Adam lunged for the hit, spun on the spot and caught the second spear as it came down for him again. He brought the but of his spear up and hit the woman in the face before spinning back in the other direction, dodging an oncoming jab and slammed his spear into the back of his opponent's head sending them sprawling to the ground.

He was breathing heavily now but he could see and hear some of the men and women muttering in surprise.

The king nodded, "This is heartening, I must say. It seems as if our leaders CAN fight."

Someone was motioned forward and he was handed a rag to wipe his face and a canteen of water. He drank greedy wiping his mouth and tossing the leather skin back to the young woman who had brought it to him.

"But I think I do see one deficiency."

He took a waiting spear from one of his followers, waved off a shield and stepped into the ring.

Men and women all around the circle leaned forward in anticipation. Adam readied himself.

The king stepped forward.

Adam could already tell this wasn;t going to be easy.

He was already tired, the kind was fresh.

But still he was ready, the two men circled and then Adam lunged forward in the way the Drev had taught him, The king batted it away and they made an exchange. The man didn't try to attack him, but seemed content on seeing what Adam could do. Their engagement must have lasted for thirty minutes as they clashed, the king slowly escalating over that time. The longer they went the more energized the other man became. Adam thought if he could just hold out until the other man grew tired as well, then maybe he would have an upper hand.

But it never happened.

Adam gasped for air.

Even after what must have been thirty minutes of continual engagement, the other man only seemed to be breathing steadier and more deeply. All together they had been fighting longer and harder than all of the other previous engagements put together, and still the man was not tired. Adam watched as the man specifically did not take openings that should have killed Adam.

He knew he was trying to make some sort of point.

Adam was breathing in ragged gasps now. He had never been so tired in all his life, he came in for a lunge he knew was sloppy, and his spear was kicked from his hand. A sandals foot hit him in the chest and he went down choking. The king stood over him nodding, "I am impressed by your skill" He turned and waved to the crowd, "You could match any man or woman here hand to hand in a fair fight, but you do have one deficiency."

Adam gulped and panted.

The king crouched next to him, "No stamina."

He stood again, "You train with my men tomorrow, and so does your marine. We will make Spartan's out of you yet!"

Adam gasped coming to his knees, "Wait... but I-"

"You came here for vacation, and I am sorry to inform you that will not be so. You will not be leaving until I am satisfied our galaxy is in the Best hands."

Adam stood crawling to his feet with great effort.

The king even smiled at him this time, which seemed strange to him somehow. He held out a hand and Adam took it, "A pleasure to fight with you Admiral, I am James king of the Spartans."

Adam frowned, "James?' Not Kyros or something?"

"I was born in the northern provinces of Mericanda, of course I don't have a greek name."

He clapped Adam on the shoulder and then walked off joined by his queen and their entourage as he shouted orders vanishing into the night.

Adam stared after him.

So, the king of Sparta was Canadian?