Ash
"You have ruined this family."
"What have you done!"
"The war is the only thing left for you now, so make yourself useful and die."
-
Etium slowly lifted his head from the computer where he sat staring blankly at the accounting spreadsheet on the screen. Beside him, the other two Tesraki's chairs were empty. He sighed, and slowly turned back to the accounting. They had likely finished their half of the books hours ago, leaving him to sit in the darkness alone with his own strange thoughts. His four fingered hands clicked at the keys of the human made keyboard,
He was good at typing, pretty fast for someone who was missing two requisite fingers, but he was nothing in comparison to the others.
He was nothing in comparison to most Tesraki.
Etium was slow when it came to doing the books, repeatedly checking every line and ever string of numbers for any possible mistake that could have been made. The process took him hours longer than it should have, but finally he stood, pushing back his chair and hopping down to the floor. The human ship whirred softly in the distance. It was a comforting sound, but he had always found some measure of comfort in humanity.
Etium had been hit the hardest by the huminization phenomenon. It didn't surprise him all that much. He had fought side by side with humans since the Drev war, and the changes in him had taken a long time to develop. They ran deep now through his body as sure as his blood. WIth skills honed in human war, and being one of few survivors, he was quick to react to sounds, followed movement more easily, and could read body language better than almost any other alien he knew.
Dr Krill wasn't even as good as he considered himself.
That's what war did to a person.
He reached up to his torn ear and shivered at the smell of smoke that seemed to waft up from his fur. He could never get the smell of ash out of his head no matter how hard he tried.
Etium knew there was something wrong with him, but he kept that to himself. The others tended to avoid him, and that was alright. He was friends with the Finnari, and while they were a bit sensitive, he supposed that was ok. He didn't need anyone asking questions about what he was doing and why he was there.
He ducked through one of the maintenance corridors, and into the hallway behind the rec room.
He could hear humans and Drev talking and laughing on the other side, but when he passed through the next door, he found the hall opened into a large-ish storage room that was lined in boxes and crates. Inside was what remained of the Omen crew. Tesraki, Finnari, Celzex and Yeb. They had a little place here for those aliens who found it difficult to constantly interact with humans.
Yeb was a bit of a special case as she seemed to hop between both without much trouble. She lounged on one of the crates, her tail swishing back and forth against the box below her, bright green fur along her back, waving slightly in the air currents.
Etium leaned against the wall making no noise, and interacting with no one.
He wouldn't have minded hanging out with humans, and drev, but..... Every time he did he just couldn't shake the smell of smoke.
Why was he here?
Because he had seen a human boldly risk his life for two wounded alien soldiers.
Etium remembered the red sky above and the ash covered ground beneath. He remembered the wounded Rundi soldier at his side as the creature stalked towards them from the darkness. He remembered the flash of blue, and then an animal howl as the human came charging from nowhere.
When he closed his eyes, he could still hear the blood curdling scream of pain the human had given off as his limbs were ripped from his body.
He shook himself trying to shake the smoke away.
"Clan is more important than anything else."
Etium lifted his head, arms still crossed over his chest.
"Then mean nothing." Yeb was saying, "My parents abandoned me in an ice cave when I was just a cub."
"Not our fault your species is defective." Lord Avex was saying.
The burg lifted his hands in an attempt to keep the piece, technicolor wings flickering behind him, "Not now, all of you we must remember that as different species we all have different beliefs and needs. He pressed his hands together. The Burg do find clan very important, but it was for our survival for the longest time. There are plenty of other species that don't need such things, like the Vrul or the Gibb for example, who are solitary creatures."
The group of three finnari huddled close together and nodded.
They wouldn't be likely to argue, they hated conflict and tried to keep the peace as much as it was possible.
He glanced over to the side surprised to find Waffles, the dog, lying with her head on her paws, around her neck, the snake creature Jeffery hung like a boa scarf.
He supposed she had any right to be here like the rest of them, she wasn't human and neither was the snake. Though neither of them were classified as sentient and didn't have the intelligence to speak. Waffles licked at her paws and Jeffery lifted his head turning to look at the speakers as if he was listening intently.
"This is not about biology, this is about the facts. There is strength in numbers, and numbers can win out over force anyday. Humans are the best example of this and you all know it. They managed to survive on a death world by making packs."
Lord Avex did have a point, but lord Avex was also known for being an egotistical asshole.
That was sort of the defining feature of Celzex.
The furry little creatures were very proud, and very loyal, so they were both a blessing and an absolute pain to have on your side.
Most of the time they just liked causing problems for the sake of causing problems.
"There is nothing wrong with a solitary existence. My species has been living as single occupants inside a distanced society for a very long time."
Lord Avex snorted, "Might I also point out that you society is a fascist Authoritarian dictatorship recovering from a pandemic crisis and refuses to join the GA to control their own citizens?"
The hair on the back of her body stood up, "Oh like your planet is any better. Roving warring clans who eat their own children."
"Please, Peace." THe burg was saying.
"You have no place in this. The burg have lived under a corrupted monarchy for ages."
Etium sighed and closed his eyes.
Apparently, he had sighed much louder than he intended, and when he opened his eyes the entire room was looking at him,
"You got something to say." Avex growled, "Anything to offer from a corporate capitalist hellscape."
Etium pushed himself off from the wall, "No, I have nothing to say."
Avex bristled, and when he did he got even fluffier, "I don't think we are done here. I want to hear what you have to say."
Etium sighed, knowing that he wasn't going to get out of this one, "I think that all of our societies suck, they just all do it equally."
The room bristled, but he kept going. He had stuck his foot in it and now he was going to have to deal. He looked at yeb and Avex, "Both of you are true about the other, same with the burg sorry to say." He nodded over at the winged creature, "But think about it, all of us suck in some way or another,. My species destroyed our own natural habitats in the name of progress, He looked at the Finnari, No cohesive leadership, and a societal wide inability to make decisions. The Vrul live under a corrupted communist system and the Rundi are all politicians, so guess where that leads us. The Drev are a fractured group of clans bent on killing each other for no other reason than the fact that it is honorable. And don't even get me started on humans, they are the worst of us all, since they can do everything we can and more."
He sort of expected the uproar that followed, but kept his head low to avoid having to deal with it. He brushed a hand through his fur, attempting, mostly to brush the ash from it, and despite being able to feel it with his fingertips, he saw none break loose.
The room grew louder and louder until a sharp bark broke the silence.
The room went very quiet very suddenly.
He turned to see waffles had risen up into a sitting position, her hackles raised.
She growled low in her throat , and the entire room calmed down very quickly after that, Jeffery opened his mouth and turned his head like a periscope around the room.
Waffles slid back onto the floor and rested her chin on her paws ears sticking straight up as she sighed.
The room was only slowly able to return to its former discussion, though everyone remained mostly quiet.
Etium slumped back against the wall. He could see the other Tesraki across the room staring at him. He tried to ignore them for the most part, he didn't really fit in with them to any sort of degree. He didn't blame them.
He wasn't particularly good with finances.
He didn't have to be though, most humans were pretty poort at it too, so any ability whatsoever was considered good. That was another reason why he was here. If he was slow and ok at handling money, then he was going to be fine. If he tried to work anywhere else as a Tesraki....
He'd be fired
Or disowned...
Etium quietly slipped from the room, out and down the hallway. He knew where he was going, and followed his own memory down through the hallways until he came to a door. He knocked once.
"Come in."
The door slid open and he stepped into a room lit by soft yellow light. Dr Adric was sitting at his desk, skin glowing a pale yellow in the dim lighting. He looked up, and when he smiled his teeth flashed white.
"Etium, it is good to see you. I didn't expect you till our session tomorrow."
Etium wandered into the room glancing down at the diagrams on the wall, and the large books on the shelves beside the desk. "Do you want me to leave."
"No, of course not, take a seat."
He did and stared up at the ceiling with a sigh.
"Do you want to talk about it?"
Etium was quiet for a while, but finally opened his mouth to speak, "I can still smell the ash sometimes, Feel it in my fur when I go to bed. It.... doesn't really bother me most of the time, and I know it's not real, but it certainly feels that way."
Dr Adtric leaned on his desk and nodded, "Did you know somatic hallucinations are extremely common In Tesraki."
He rubbed his fur, "Really?"
"Yes, at least one in twenty report small things. Feelings of items brushing over their fur even when nothing is there. If it starts to bother you, come to me and we will look into helping it. Otherwise just remember the exercises I taught you."
He shifted in his seat and absently looked at the wall, "So if Somatic hallucinations are common in Tesraki..... Than what about everyone else?"
Dr Adric smiled at him. His expression, both charming and calming at the same time. He had an eir about him that just seemed to make things slow down and relax. It was a nice feeling to have.
"Well both Vrul and Gibb are prone to psychosis with obsessive and grandiosity characteristics. Most Vrul I know could be classified as having some sort of anxiety. Rundi are commonly seen with OCD. Celzex presents with characteristics of Antisocial personality disorder. Finnari can commonly be seen with dependent personality disorders. Both the Drevb and the Starborn, have a high rate of narcissism. In the case of the starborn, they have a 100% rate at this time.... Though to be fair we only have one starborn"
Etium couldn't help but smile just a little. "Humans have all of those things I guess, since you have a name for all of them."
"Yes. Though, I would say that I work most closely with Post Traumatic Stress."
"Like what I have?"
"Similarly yes, though yours presents differently."
"That's what the Admiral's dog is for? He said she was a PTSD dog."
"That would be correct."
Etium leaned back in his seat and stared out the window behind Adric. The man said he presented with listlessness, difficulty concentrating, and emotional detachment. He didn't have flashbacks or stress associated, which is why he couldn't be entirely diagnosed, bu7t the two of them were pretty sure whatever he had was similar. They had thought about depression on one or two occasions, but he didn't have trouble getting out of bed, or doing things that he enjoyed. He just got listless and distracted a lot.
Adric thought it might be an entirely different issue from what humans could get, but as of yet, there wasn't enough research to determine that. They were working on it in their own right now, and he had been feeling a little more present, but he still wasn't really there yet.
He hoped that soon he would be out of the rut he was stuck in.,
"Have you managed to tell the Admiral, like we had been talking about."
Etium picked at the fur on his arm, "He seems.... Too busy to talk to me and I.... well I don't know what it would accomplish."
"I think it would be good for you to talk to someone who experienced the war."
Etium sighed, "I didn't really do much in the war. I sat there and just... was scared. The humans did everything."
"I think you might find there are humans that feel the same way you do. I encourage you to talk to him. Knowing the man myself, I have no doubt that he will be accepting of your story." He held up his hands, "I don't want to push you, but I do encourage you to let him know."
I think it would be good for both of you
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