Chapter Four

"Excuse me?"

I smiled as I stood before the Egyptian deity who stood across the room in the doorway, staring at me with a look of utter disbelief and confusion. He'd only been working for a couple days when I finally decided enough was enough. I was tired of watching that Egyptian bend over, tight leather pants clasping a firm muscular ass. I was done watching him emerge from his quarters, still dripping wet from a bath, droplets of water groping his dark tawny skin, sneaking into every curve and crevice of his muscular physique.

It was time to stop beating around the bush.

"You heard me," I purred, crossing the room so I could approach him. He was so tall, so rigid with muscles. When I touched his arm, it was like touching corded steel, so rock hard, but his skin so smooth and soft. The scent of him drove me wild, gave me goosebumps across my skin.

"This is inappropriate," he said gruffly, taking a step back from me, but I held him fast and brought my naked body up against his. He sucked in a sharp breath, tilting his head back, like he could at least get his face away from me. I took that opportunity to rise up on my toes, going for his throat. I nipped at the skin there, watching the cords pull taut there, his expression a combination of desperate refusal and desperate want, clashing in those dark eyes of his that still never left me, even though his body was bowing back from me.

"What's inappropriate is insubordination," I responded huskily, running my hands down his arms, going to that narrow waist, teasing the waistband of his pants by dipping my fingertips just past the elastic and stroking his skin. His cock was a rock hard, and bulge that pressed against my stomach. I slid one hand down, stroking him through his pants and he gasped breathlessly. His hand shot down, snatched mine in a tight grasp and he moved away again.

"This is not one of my duties," he started, but I took my hand back from him and shoved him against the locked door to my quarters and he grunted, like he was surprised by the strength of me. I was smaller than him, and smaller than my brothers, so much smaller than my father. My physique was leaner than his, my muscles smooth as opposed to the bulging triceps, biceps, and pectorals he had. But I was no weakling.

I'd been raised on a heavy diet of self-defense and raw strength. If I hadn't, my own mother would have killed me. I'd built up an immunity to her abuse. Over time, I savored each and every beating like it was my last. It was like the perfect sword; beat over and over again by the smith's hammer, dipped in the liquid hot fire of the Phlegethon. I was a resilient sword, and I was ready for anything.

Including this. This hot muscular body that taunted me since the moment we met in my father's temple in the mortal realm. Those dark mysterious eyes, that long black hair as dark as night, skin the color of rich dark caramel.

And how fucking forbidden; a Greek and an Egyptian. They'd never gotten along in our universes. The gods of Duat and the gods of Greece constantly clashed, over things I still hadn't bothered to read about because who gave a shit? I just knew this was a forbidden fruit and I wanted to sink my teeth into it and let the juices flow from my lips.

"You do as I say," I told him in a low voice, placing my hand on his chest, testing the hardness of his pectoral padding, "That is your duty. I am your master. I am your lord. I am your god. You will do as I command and I command that you fuck me. I want you to fill me with your cock, I want to feel your nails bite into my skin, rip me open. I want to be exposed inside and out. I want you to make me scream until my throat is raw. I want you to make me come until I am milked dry. That is my command unto you, Sept, god of war and battle. I order you to enter my body and make me feel alive."

That had done it.

He'd given up fighting me. He grabbed my face, smashed his lips to mine, kissed me until my head spun. I leapt up into his arms, wrapping my legs around his waist, letting his hands grab at my ass as he carried me to the bed. He threw me down like I was nothing but a piece of discarded clothing. He got on top of me, pinned me down, and went to kiss me, but I turned my head away and bit his wrist. He hissed and bared his fangs at me and I moaned, throwing my head back against the sheets, spreading my legs wide.

He was pissed off, so pissed off, and I loved it. I loved the heat, the friction, the tension. He grabbed me by the legs, forced them up high, until my back hurt, and he didn't bother with preparation, didn't bother with the stupid games people played beforehand. He slammed his huge cock into my body and split me in half. I threw my head back and screamed. I felt the blood from the torn muscles, felt his fingernails bite into my legs, drawing more blood. An orgasm rocked me to the core as I spilled all over myself, crying out desperately as he started to move, his hips not rolling sensually, not moving to test the waters. He threw himself into each violent entry, pistoned his hips like he was a machine, not a living creature.

He slammed himself into me, glared down at me as I came a second time, my hands grabbing desperately at the bedsheets for something to hold onto. He was moving me steadily across the bed until my head collided with the headboard and I saw stars, then I clutched at the bars on the headboard, gripped them for dear life as he ravaged me until I felt him come, and shit, it was a ride as I drank up every last drop of him, as I let him fill me with heat.

I felt like pudding by the time he was finished, leaning back on his knees. He was breathing hard, sweat rolling down his face, between his pecs, down his arms. He gripped his knees, panting and staring down at the bed, the horror of what had just happened slowly settling on his face. I smiled slowly and stretched out like a languid cat, opening my legs wide so he could see the damage he'd left in his wake, damage that throbbed and stung and burned, left blood on the sheets.

"Mmm," I moaned, making his eyes lift to lock on me in confused horror, "Do it again, baby. Rip me to pieces. I'm still not hoarse yet."

Those were the days, I remembered. Those were the best days of our relationship, before it even became a relationship. Back then, he never hesitated to do as I commanded. He was my servant and I was his master and if he disobeyed me, he could be killed without consequence since he was disowned. He had no one and nothing, but me. He took out all his rage, his frustrations, his agonies, on me. And I took it all. I took everything he gave me and more and I loved it.

But after the Titan Epimetheus had come between us, we realized it was turning something more. He loved more than just my body, more than sex with me. He somehow, someway, managed to love me. I had become more than master, more than lord, more than god. I became his world. And somehow, in some stupid twisted way, I'd felt myself falling toward him too. Because he knew more about me than anyone else in the world, even my own brothers, my own father, didn't know as much about me as he did. I depended on that. I depended on his ability to know me inside and out.

And fuck, he knew I couldn't stop. He knew I needed it. Since the very beginning, he knew the pain was part of who I was. He'd given it to me countless times by command, but somehow, for some stupid reason, he thought it would all just go away just because we talked about love. He thought love was the cure for what he thought was a sickness. And fuck, maybe it was a sickness, but there was no cure for that. I wasn't hurting anyone. I was the one who was getting hurt and I loved it. It wasn't painful emotionally. So why the hell did everyone think it needed to stop?

Well, fuck that. And fuck everyone else too.

And fuck him especially.

Because I needed it, and I needed it now.

I zoned back into the present, where Rowan stood across the room by the windows, facing me with the best damn poker face I'd ever seen. He didn't react at all to my command, or the fact that I was starked naked in front of him. There was no look of shock, no refusal, no excuses about duty or some shit. Instead, he just looked at me, and it was starting to make me uncomfortable, because I was so used to expecting reactions from people when I did shit like this; shock, anger, horror, things like that. Instead, all I got was a calm stare.

"Is that what you want," Rowan asked at last, breaking the silence in the room, "Is that what you want from me?" I blinked. What kind of stupid question was that? I wouldn't have asked if I didn't want it.

"Yes," I stated, annoyed. Rowan inclined his head.

"Then so be it."

"Wait, really?" I asked, surprised. Rowan nodded, reaching up to slide his tie off. He folded it up and set it aside on the dresser. I watched him unbutton his vest and carefully fold it, then moved onto his shirt. It was like some kind of ritual for him.

"You have ordered me to fuck you until you bleed, correct?"

"Uhm, yeah."

"And your are my lord and master, are you not?"

"Yeah?"

"Then I have no choice, but to do as you command," Rowan replied. I stood there, confused and naked and wondering if maybe I'd just stepped into the Twilight Zone. Rowan stripped all the way down and I found myself distracted by his body, because holy shit, he was an Adonis under all that aristocratic bullshit. Perfectly carved muscles, body built for sleek agility and raw power, like a sprinter or a swimmer. His legs were long, corded, powerful. His arms reminded me of his; steel corded wrapped together under dark skin. I swallowed, feeling like the moisture in my mouth was suddenly sucked out.

"Doesn't it bother you?" I asked without thinking, looking up at Rowan's face.

"Absolutely," Rowan said with no hesitation and I looked at him, confused, "I do not wish to have sex with someone I do not know well and I do not wish to have sex that could cause harm to someone. I certainly would not want to hurt Hades's precious son. However, my duty to you is not to have personal opinions, but to serve you as you command. Therefore, I am prepared to do so, despite my personal convictions." I didn't know what to say to that. It made me uncomfortable, and even worse when he had to bring up my dad.

Nothing killed my boner like hearing about my dad, and being referred to as his precious son.

But... Fuck, that pissed me off.

"I'm my own person," I snapped, making Rowan lift a single brow, somehow maintaining that cool-as-a-cucumber expression, "I am not Hades's precious son. I am not some stranger."

"But I don't know you," Rowan pointed out. I glared at him, putting my hands on my hips.

"So what? You won't want to have sex with me until you know me?"

"Precisely."

"That's stupid."

"It's not stupid to want to know whom you'll be having sex with. Surely you want to know the people you have sex with," Rowan responded. I grimaced a little at that, suddenly feeling embarrassed as I reached up to brush the hair back out of my face.

Yeah, except the only person I'd had sex with in the last few centuries had been him, and only him. In the past year, I hadn't had sex with anyone. And before I met him, I had sex with my other second-in-command, who had only lasted a few years before he quit. And I'd lost my virginity to some man whore in town shortly after I booted out my mother. And that was so long ago, I didn't even remember what it was like or even the guy's name, or what whorehouse or anything.

In fact, now that I thought about it, I'd never gone on a date. Ever. In my entire life. Dating wasn't my thing. Dating was something you did when you were getting serious with someone. And while I'd definitely say he and I were serious, we didn't date. We didn't go out to dinner and talk to each other or anything. We started out working together and the sex was just for fun. I'd known a lot about him by then. But going on dates, asking about favorite movies and favorite foods? That shit didn't fly. We didn't do that. We didn't really care about it.

Hell, the more I thought about it, the more I realized... I only knew basic things about him. His father had disowned him for trying to form an alliance between Duat and the Greeks. He'd been banished to the mortal realm without his god powers. I'd found him in Hades's temple, where he'd been pretty much pissing all over my dad, which I found kind of funny. It was something I would do. So I took him in and had him work for me. We didn't talk about our future or life goals. We talked about work, and even when we were together, we talked about work, the current state of the universe, what evil was hiding in the dark. Or we'd talk about fucking.

He and I had been together for over a decade and I didn't even know who he went out drinking with all those times. What even was his mother's fucking name? Did he even have a surname? He had a brother, right? Right?

"Get out," I heard myself say. Rowan nodded and put his clothes back on. He put all his clothes on like some kind of dandy, straightening his tie. He gave me a formal bow, then walked out of the room, closing the door quietly. I was left alone in a room I'd shared with him for years, but it no longer smelled like him. It smelled like cleaning supplies, like a Glade plug-in, that, surprise-surprise, was stuck in the corner, pumping out fumes of fresh linen.

I went to the bed and sat down slowly, trying to cope with the fact that the person I'd just spent centuries with was actually a complete stranger to me. Why had we never talked about those kind of things? Was it me? Was it because of me? Was that why we never talked about those things? Did I just not care? Because, I felt like I cared now. Now it bothered me.

But it was too late to go back and change that.

What the hell was wrong with me? Why didn't I care to ask those things about him?

I blinked, looking up as I realized I'd kicked Rowan out. I quickly snatched on the nearest red robe and ran to the door to catch up with him, only to shout in surprise when I saw him standing on the other side of the door, looking completely calm.

"Holy shit! What the hell is wrong with you?" I demanded. Rowan looked at me innocently.

"You told me to get out, not go away."

"Do you take everything literally?"

"Only when it pleases me to do so. Why? Did I scare you?" Rowan asked, lifting a brow. Like he was a know-it-all. I felt heat rushing for my cheeks and cleared my throat, folding my arms over my chest.

"No. Just... surprised me," I answered, and Rowan's lips twitched, like he was smiling knowingly on the inside, "Uh, I have a question."

"Of course, my lord."

"Theo. Just call me Theo."

"Of course, Theo."

"Uhm... What's... What's your favorite color?" I asked. Rowan seemed a little nonplussed, then relaxed.

"Probably red," he answered. I scowled.

"Are you just saying that because I'm a redhead?"

"No. It's just a nice color. I also like black."

"I can fucking tell. Your whole fucking wardrobe is black."

"Well, it's rather difficult to look intimidating when you're wearing pink."

"That's true," I muttered, then shifted uncomfortably. I folded my arms over my chest and looked down at my feet as I tried to figure out how to word my next comment. Because I'd never done anything like this before. It was stepping out of my comfort zone, and I kinda wanted to go back into it, but come on. This was what fucked me up with him. I had to do something right. I had to do something normal-ish.

"So," I said after a long moment. "Uhm. You're not busy tonight. You know, because I said so, and I was wondering if maybe we could... Like. You know. Go out. Get something to eat. I don't want to eat here. Just, somewhere in town. You should get to know the city, you know? Because you work here." Oh yeah, smooth. Like a fucking dirt road in the mountains. I looked up at Rowan, who cocked his head.

"Are you ordering me to do this?" He asked. I frowned. Was I? If I did, that meant he wasn't doing it because he wanted to. And that fucked up things with him too. I ordered him to do things with me. I never asked him to. I was in charge, and I liked to be in charge, but maybe that was part of the reason things didn't work out. But the idea of relinquishing control like that...

"Uh, no, I guess not," I muttered before I could change my mind.

"I see. Well, I would enjoy that very much, Theo. Thank you. Perhaps we could go for dinner, around six. Is that appropriate?" Rowan asked. I blinked, looking up at him, caught off guard that he was doing this willingly.

"Wait, for real? Wait, no, I mean. Yeah, okay, cool, sure. Whatever. That's fine. We'll meet in the foyer," I responded, and decided I was going to punish myself when I got back in my room by smashing my face against the mirror. I didn't get flustered. Flustered wasn't my thing. And yet my heart felt like it was going to pound all the way up my throat and out my mouth.

"That sounds good. Is there anything you would like for me to do at this time, Theo? Or shall I just wait for our dinner date?" Rowan asked. Heat rushed back into my face. Date. He said date.

Oh holy shit what the fuck is wrong with me, blushing like some adolescent teenager.

Ooh, look at me, going on a date. Nur nur, I should just paint my nails and go out and get a new outfit and gush in my room while listening to Avril Lavigne and gushing over Johnny Depp.

Fuck my life.

"Nope. See you at six," I stated, stepping back into my room and slamming the door shut in Rowan's face. I could imagine a smug ass smirk on his face. No wonder Hades like that prick. They were just like each other.

"Ugh!" I shouted, more to myself than anything. I went into the bathroom to clean up, spotting Aria and the kittens in a nice warm corner by the jacuzzi tub with their heated blanket and some more blankets. It looked like Fabian and Deven had built them a little nest there, all their own, and apparently bought them a scratching post that they were going wild with.

I left them to their cat thing and got in the shower before I got out and brushed my teeth, making a few cuts to my inner arm and upper bicep. I washed my mouth out, tossed the razor out, and threw on a pair of jeans and a sweater. I went to hang out with the cats a little bit. I fed them and played with Socks, mostly because his siblings didn't really play with him, which drove me nuts.

"Your kids are assholes," I told Aria, sitting with her in my lap and Socks on my shoulder where he was playing with my hair, "What's so wrong with Socks that nobody wants to play with him? He's cute as shit and you never have to buy him clothes, because he's got his own built into his paws." Aria looked at me, as if to say wow you are a complete dumbass. I smirked, scratching under her chin.

"Hey, my mom used to give me that look a lot. Dang." Dagger and Ghost came over to me and started climbing all over me. I picked Dagger up and let him chew on my finger while Ghost climbed all over Aria, who just made this mean growling sound, but never actually did anything to him.

"Or maybe you aren't like her at all," I murmured as Ghost fall across Aria's front paws and Aria licked at his face. My mom never kissed me, now that I thought about it. And the only time she hugged me was in front of my brothers or Hades, and when she did, it was a really tight hug, one that threatened to break me in half, like she was warning me to be on my best behavior or she'd beat the shit out of me when we were alone.

Actually, I think that was one of the first things that started a fight between Malachi and I. He gave me a hug when I was eleven because my mom was going on a weekend trip and he had totally misinterpreted the meaning of all that. I'd stomped on his foot and bit his hand and took off, and when Malachi saw me again, he called me an ungrateful brat. So I called him a pedophile. One thing led to another and we'd been fighting ever since. Although, things were a little better now. He still called me an ungrateful brat and I still bit him, but you know. At least I wasn't trying to steal his lover and poison their food anymore.

Well, most of the time.

I left the cats and decided to take a short nap before the whole date that wasn't a date with Rowan. I curled up on the bed I hadn't slept in for months. I settled down under the covers and laid there, staring up at the ceiling, trying to will myself to sleep. The bed felt so big and empty. I threw my arms out to the side and made a sheet angel out of everything, dragging my arms and legs around in the bed before going still. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

I felt something tugging at the sheets on the bed and I peeked an eye open, then rolled over to see that Socks was trying to climb up onto the bed using the sheets as leverage. I smirked and scooped him up in one hand and put him on the bed. He toddled over to me, that weird ass tail of his sticking straight out until he got to my stomach and he curled right up against me and fell asleep. I closed my eyes and found it easier to sleep now, knowing someone else was in the bed with me.

My dreams were weird. Filled with the images of blades cutting through skin, drawing blood that fell through darkness and plopped into a puddle. A puddle that shifted and morphed until I found myself looking down at a bloody reflection of myself. My reflection was crying for some reason. My mouth opened and a pair of fangs elongated from my upper mouth and an animalistic snarl came from my throat. I gasped and splashed my hand through the blood, falling back, except there was nothing to catch me and I went sailing through the air until I woke up on the bed in my room, breathing hard and sweating at the temples.

Socks was leaning over my face, licking at my nose, cocking his head from side to side. I reached up with a shaky hand to stroke his fur. I cleared my throat, picking him up and sitting up against the headboard as I pet his head.

"Freaky ass dreams, Socks. Freaky ass dreams," I muttered, rubbing at his ear. He buried his face against me and I smiled. I turned my head to look at the clock on the end table. It was almost six.

"Time to do the dating thing," I sighed, sitting up. I scooped Socks up in my hands and placed him on the floor. I grabbed my leather jacket and headed out to the foyer. Each step seemed to echo down the hallway, blasting in my ears, making my heart pound in time.

Date. What did you do on a date? I mean, you got to know each other, right? Yeah, that was it. That's all. So why did it feel like I was about to have open heart surgery?

I came into the foyer to see Rowan already there, and on the phone with someone. He was dressed in the same outfit as earlier, but this time, he sported a fancy long black wool coat.

"It's in the kitchen," Rowan was saying as I approached, "It is. It's in the cupboard... No, I didn't get the Betty Crocker. It was too expensive... Simon, the off-brand tastes the exact same-- Yes, it does."

"No, it doesn't," I disagreed aloud. Rowan looked up, then frowned.

"Sorry, I have to go," he said into the phone, hanging up on whoever Simon was. He tucked his phone away.

"Who was that? I thought you said you had no one and nowhere to go," I said dryly. Rowan averted his eyes.

"It's his home and I stop by on occasion to help him. My apologies for not specifying," he answered. Normally I would've gotten all pissy. He made me think he was alone in the universe. By the way he acted, I believed it too. But then again, that only proved him right about earlier; I didn't know him very well. It was why we were going out tonight in the first place, so I let it slide.

"That's cool," I said after a moment, "Is he your boyfriend or something?" Rowan's face screwed up, and I actually laughed at that.

"Far from," he assured, "More like a tumor that won't leave me alone."

"You seem to like him enough to visit him and bring him stuff."

"It's an obligation. Anyway, shall we go?" Rowan asked. I nodded, and led the way out of the mansion and down the steps. It was bitter cold out and I grimaced as a particularly icy wind blew through the town square once we passed through.

"I hate winter," I blurted and Rowan glanced at me, "I don't like the cold. It's always freezing cold outside." Rowan paused to look at his phone.

"It's only seven degrees Celsius."

"It feels colder. Anything under twenty-four degrees pisses me off."

"Is that why you have such an abundance of heated blankets?"

"Fuck yeah. I'd sleep with twelve if I could. I like warm places. Like the beach."

"Have you been to a beach?"

"Once," I muttered, pulling my hood up and folding my arms tightly over my chest as we walked down the street, "It was a long time ago."

"Why haven't you gone again?"

"Don't have time. Don't have a reason to. Last time I was kidnapped, so I didn't really have a choice. Best kidnapping I've ever had," I added. Rowan actually smirked at that. I smiled a little.

Bingo! I cracked the poker face! Look at me. On a fucking roll up in this shit.

"So, where do you wish to eat?" Rowan asked. I shrugged, looking around at the shops. Since it was about dinner time, the smell of hot food was floating through the air. From freshly baked pita to roasting meats, the sweet scent of fruit to steamed vegetables. I could smell it all, even the underlying greasy fast food places. The pubs were filled with music, lines out the doors, clubs throbbing with activity, restaurants playing classy music that matched the sophisticated clinks and jingles of expensive cutlery.

"Nowhere fancy," I said at last, "I dunno. Where do you eat?"

"Anywhere. I'm particularly fond of burgers and desserts."

"Get out, for real?"

"What were you expecting?"

"Gordon Ramsay."

"You know, he makes wicked burgers as well."

"Does he? So you watch cooking shows?"

"I watch a lot of television."

"Okay, then who plays the werewolf in American Werewolf in London?"

"Easy; David Naughton."

"Who plays Tank Girl?"

"Lori Petty."

"What other films has Lori Petty been in?"

"Off the top of my head? Poker House, Point Break, Free Willy, and she also stars in Netflix's Orange is the New Black."

"Damn," I muttered, "I'm going to get you. I'll try all night to stump you... on who voices Bob from Bob's Burgers."

"H. Jon Benjamin. Was that supposed to be a hard one?" Rowan asked. I laughed at that. We made our way down the street, going back and forth about movies and shows, and damn him, he got every single one right until even I ran out of ideas. We finally decided on this pub around the corner from all the fancy restaurants and went inside where the sound of Black Sabbath's Iron Man was blasting over the speakers. We went inside and snagged a booth seat in the corner, ordering a couple burgers and beers.

"You're shitting me," I said as Rowan shook his head, "Who spends a whole week watching every single episode of M*A*S*H? Is that even possible?" He took a swig of his beer and popped a french fry in his mouth.

"Records show it only takes about five days at the most. And I assure you... It wasn't really worth the watch."

"Are you kidding me? There's at least three good episodes."

"If you want to talk shows worth binge watching, allow me to introduce you to Star Trek."

"You're a Trekkie?"

"Through and through."

"See, now, I try to explain this to my brother, Cain, but the asshole insists it's all bullshit in comparison to Doctor Who and don't get me wrong, Who is great and all, but something about Star Trek is just so..."

"Classic," Rowan filled in, and I nodded, "Granted, Doctor Who has been airing for quite a long time, however, in recent years, I feel the show's begun to decline. Perhaps it's the old-fashioned male in me, though."

"Nah, man, I see it. Who's your favorite doctor?" I asked, slathering my french fry in my milkshake before slipping it in my mouth. Rowan smiled at that, then did the same, stealing a bit of my milkshake. I expected to get pissy, because when Cain did it, I slammed his head into the table. Somehow, it was okay when Rowan did it.

"The Fourth, obviously," Rowan said after a moment. I slammed my hand into the table, and several patrons looked over in alarm until they realized it was just a really intense conversation... about nerd shit.

"Thank you! Cain has this major hard on for the Tenth, but it's like...? He's not bad looking, but that's not the point. The point is the Fourth was just overall brilliant."

"Exactly. Also, the First will always hold a special place in my heart. The beginning of it all," Rowan answered. I nodded in agreement. How weird, to have sat here and talked movies and shows, older films, newer cinema. All with someone I just met the other day. Then again, it was easy to talk that kind of stuff with someone. It was something everyone shared, right?

"So," I said after a while, taking a gulp of my milkshake, "Where did you live before you came to work for me?" Rowan looked at his bottle of beer.

"With a friend. And you? Surely you haven't lived in that mansion since your birth," he pointed out. I blinked, then considered that. No, I hadn't always lived in the mansion.

"I lived in the mortal realm until I was four," I answered, making him arch a brow, "My mother was a demon living among humans. She didn't know she was pregnant with me until later on. When she thought I was old enough, she took me to Hades and served up on a sacrificial platter to her ego."

"Hades seemed to accept you."

"Yeah, I guess so. He was kinda awkward at first. He was the first person to hold me."

"Your mother never held you?" He asked, like that was weird. I laughed.

"No," I answered, then paused, "Unless you count the time she grabbed me by the ankle and dragged me out from under my bed to hold me upside down when I was two. I accidentally pissed myself in the kitchen and she spent the next two days keeping fluids out of my reach."

"You're joking."

"Nope. She also starved me for a week because I puked. I got sick with food poisoning from rotten meat she bought off one of her clients."

"She sounds like a joy."

"She was," I said, then paused to frown as Rowan studied me, "Ah, she died. Uhm, a while back. I guess I wasn't the only one who hated her, I guess."

"Did you hate her?" Rowan asked. I looked away.

What a weird thing to talk about on a date. Wasn't this a little dark? Most people didn't know how to react when I talked about my mom. Even Hades curled his lip when I brought her name up. He didn't understand the kind of relationship my bitch mom and I had. No one did. She was complicated. She was a hellish cunt of a demon. Totally narcissistic and hated everyone and everything around her, me especially. In her eyes, I was the bane of her existence. She thought bringing me to Hades would win her brownie points with him, but there was a reason Hades only slept with her for a single night and moved on with his life.

And when she realized Hades wouldn't adore her for giving him a son, she turned all that crap on me. I was the only tether she had to status, wealth, and superiority. She walked around this city like she was the one who owned it, not me. She blew off money on stupid things, put a variety of stupid and pain in the ass laws into effect. She even let a plague run rampant through the city for three years because of what she called health care, but was really just restricting health examinations and education to the extremely wealthy.

In the mansion, she took great pleasure in tormenting me. She would pop up out of fucking nowhere, and I mean, literally. I would be in my bed at night and suddenly she'd be there next to me, hauling me out of bed and beating me with whatever she could get her hands on. She even used a lamp one time and caught the bed on fire. She also let most of the servants treat me like shit too, and while not all of them, there were some who thought it was my fault my mother was evil. They'd take out their anger and stress caused by my mom on me. Like it was my fault.

I wasn't stupid. I knew my mom was terrible. Or maybe that was an understatement. She was cold hearted right to the cockles of her soul. She was always out for herself. She was awful and terrible and it was a gift to the universe that she was dead.

But when she died, I felt like I should've been sad. I tried to cry for her, but I couldn't. And I felt shitty for it, because even though she was a horrid bitch, she was still my mother... and she dropped me on my head more than enough times to make me that insane.

"Yes," I said after a moment, "Yes, I hated her. You gonna think I'm an asshole now?"

"No. She sounds like she was probably a mega bitch," Rowan deadpanned. I laughed.

"Yeah, she was. I guess I just felt like I should've cared, ya know? What about you? Any psycho parents to speak of?" I asked. Rowan cocked his head.

"No. I don't speak to my parents."

"So you're the psycho one?"

"Perhaps."

"Perhaps," I mocked, and Rowan smirked, "At least you didn't kill your brother and date him afterwards."

"Beg pardon?"

"Okay, so I have eight really fucking stupid brothers," I started. I explained each and every one of those motherfuckers to Rowan and warned him to stay away from most of them.

First, there was Charon. Okay, so Charon wasn't that bad. He was the first person I had to apologize to because, well, honestly, I was a dick to him without a reason. He was just easy to pick on because he didn't say shit about it. He was a bookworm and spent all day writing in his journals. His husband, Alexion, was one of those original Source born things. He was old as dirt and a book nerd like Charon.

Then there was Cerberus. Fucking hell did that guy piss me off. He was as big as Hades, but built with bulky heavy muscle and lorded over all of us like he was the best big bro ever. He was the kind of guy you expected to be a meathead jock in school. He was even kind of stupid. But I guess he cared about people or some sappy garbage like that. And his match made in Hell was Blaine, the annoying big mouthed piece of crap fae with a tragic backstory. He was Cerberus's exact opposite in every way. Where Cerberus was a mammoth, Blaine was a mouse. He was tiny and cute and looked dainty, but the guy packed a hell of a right hook and loved to mouth off to everyone and everything. Together, they had three kids; Ayo, their adopted fire demon kid, and the twins, Keros and Holly. And technically Blaine had another kid... my brother Ambrosius.

Welcome to a typical Greek family, and it only got better.

Because then there was Zelios. The quiet stoic one who was all about the wisdom and peace and glory of all living things, even though he ran Hades's deepest darkest prison, Tartarus. At his side was Noe, an annoying little water demon slash oracle. Not only did the little guy have premonitions, he turned into a mutant thing that ate spiders and forgot how to use silverware.

Then there were the twins; Cain and Abel. Did I even have to explain that shit to anyone? Brother kills brother... a hundred times. Brother betrays brother... a hundred times. Brother fucks brother... a hundred times. Pick up a Bible. It's all in there.

Malachi came next. He was a high and mighty goody-two-shoes and a hardcore businessman. He invented the Demonic Fashion line, which now owned half of the Underworld, had shops in other realms, its own channel on the television, a website that was partnered with the Underworld version of Facebook. He was a wealthy mofo and used all of it to rebuild Inferi from the depraved demonic hellhole it had once been into a bustling hipster town. And his lover was Adrian. Without me, those two never would've met and they still hadn't thanked me. Or rather, Malachi hadn't. I didn't expect a thank you from Adrian. I felt sorry for the kid, which was why he ended up here in the first place. I'd heard him screaming for help. And, sue me, I have a weakness for abused kids, so what?

Ambrosius came next. Born from in vitro between Hades and Blaine, he was a little dog with all bark and yeah, a little bit of bite. Especially since he defied Hades and started a dancing career... and got pregnant recently, effectively severing what little of a relationship he had with Hades, which I still thought was bullshit and mostly Hades's fault because what the hell? Ambrosius was an adult. A dumb adult, but an adult nonetheless. If he wanted to pop out a few money grubbing shitchildren, so what? And Ambrosius was married to Lucifer's kid, Thorn. A total loser dork who liked to think he was super badass, but it was all a lie; I'd seen him trip and also freak out over false pregnancy tests. If I could use a meme to describe him, it would be the lame dad ones.

And finally, Nikias. The artificial production using both Hades and Lucifer DNA. That's right, people; technically, they had a goddamn baby together and I was the only one still weirded out by the whole thing. Nikias was the little superhero of our family. He was all about the do-gooding, all about charities and funds and grants, helping the poor and impoverished. And his trusty sidekick was his boyfriend, Demetrius, the One Armed Wonder. No, just kidding, he had a neat robo arm Hades made for him when his old one tanked. He wasn't so bad. He stayed out of my way, and didn't kill me for my April Fool's pranks. So he was good in my book, I guess.

And those were just my brothers.

Greek family trees had branches that went all over the place. Like those twisty ones you saw in mangroves. Yeah. They tended to intersect, break off, grow somewhere randomly, and most of them grew in swamps of their own shitmaking.

"Wow," Rowan said after a moment, blinking like he was trying to put up with the sensory overload, "And here I thought my family was special."

"You said you don't talk to your parents. Or was that another lie?"

"I didn't lie to you," Rowan pointed out, "I just didn't elaborate."

"So why not give me a little more now? If you're going to be working with me, I need to know more, right? And if I want to have sex with you, I have to know more, like you said. You don't sleep with strangers. So don't be a stranger," I said. Rowan studied me for a while. I figured he was going to blow me off again with his deflective commentary and talk about how great his beer tasted as he took a deep swig.

"My father is Xiphrus," he said after a moment. I blinked. Whoa, talk about opening up, damn.

"Wait, Xiphrus? As in, the Xiphrus? As in, tatted up big motherfucker who likes to chill with my dad on the weekends? That Xiphrus?" I asked, just to make sure. Rowan inclined his head as he ran his finger around his plate, gathering up leftover salt to lick off his finger.

"Yes. The Original."

"Wait, then that makes... Stanton your brother, right?"

"Yes."

"And Jo's your uncle."

"Yes. And Geara is my aunt. Alexion is my cousin. Nyx and Erebus are my cousins as well. Shall I continue?"

"Nope, I think I get the picture. Fuck, and here I thought you were the youngest guy who'd signed up to be my second-in-command. You're actually the oldest motherfucker in the line up."

"Well, when you put it like that, it hurts my feelings," Rowan said drolly, then smirked when I laughed. Our waiter came over with the bill and we paid before heading out into the cold. The air was even worse now than it was when we first left the mansion. I walked close to Rowan as we headed back toward the mansion.

"So I gotta say something," I said and Rowan glanced at me, "This was my first, you know, like going out with someone."

"Your first date, you mean?" He asked. Heat fled to my face and I cleared my throat, looking down at my boots.

"Yup. I'm a little over six centuries old and that was my first date. You can yuk it up now."

"No, it's understandable. It's the first time I dated anyone in three thousand years."

"Well, holy shit. I don't feel as bad now. Thank fuck for that."

"Yes."

"So who was your last date?" I asked. Rowan didn't answer right away. I looked at him. He was quiet, staring at the road ahead of him, but it was like he wasn't really seeing it. He blinked a couple times, then looked at me.

"I forget," he said, and he was totally lying. But I could understand why. Clearly his last relationship didn't end so hot, and I could sympathize.

"I like you," I said after a while, and Rowan arched a brow at me, and I elbowed him, "Don't get a big head, jackass. I like you because you're the first person in like six fucking months who hasn't treated me like I'm a fragile little flower about to break."

"Why would people treat you like that? Clearly you don't exude that kind of feeling," Rowan replied. I shrugged, looking down.

"Last relationship... kinda ended really shitty. Actually, the whole relationship was shitty. Except maybe the first few weeks."

"Why do you say that?"

"I just wasn't good enough for the guy. In case you haven't noticed, I'm not a normal person."

"Whatever do you mean?" Rowan asked, feigning surprise. I laughed and shoved him and he smirked at me, elbowing my arm. I stepped in closer to him as we crossed the square to the gate that led to the mansion.

"I have some habits most people wouldn't approve of. I know you're not stupid," I said, making Rowan nod as he sobered, "My dad probably told you everything you needed to know. And I guess some people just can't handle that."

"I can imagine it would be difficult for him, though," Rowan pointed out, and I frowned, looking at him as we stopped outside the doors to the mansion, "Think about it for a moment, from his point of view, not your own. We know how you feel about it. If you walked in, saw the love of your life hurting himself, and you could do nothing about it, surely that would upset you, would it not?" I stared at him, letting that sink in for a moment.

Yeah. Yeah, I guess that would be awkward. But he knew it wasn't really hurting me. He knew I needed it.

"He knew what he was getting into when he told me he loved me," I said without thinking. Rowan nodded.

"It would seem he did, but perhaps he had no idea why you did it in the first place," he responded, and I hesitated at something I hadn't really thought about before, "Why do you do it, Theo? Why do you hurt yourself?" I chewed at my bottom lip nervously. What a dumb question... I had to do it. I don't know why. I just needed it. It had always been there. I'd always been in pain. From the moment of my birth and my mother pinched me for wailing, up until my morning ritual of brushing my teeth, cutting myself, and getting dressed. It was nothing to me now. It was just something I needed to do. Like brushing my teeth and getting dressed.

I didn't know how to explain it.

Not that I had time, because the door to the mansion opened up on its own and Fabian stood on the other side, with Sept standing right behind him, and I froze. Fabian looked caught off guard to see me, then quickly leapt aside and bowed low, gesturing to Sept and saying some shitty introduction before scampering off. Now it was just awkward with Rowan and I standing on the doorstep and Sept standing just inside, looking back and forth between Rowan and I.

"My apologies," Rowan said, and bowed to Sept, making me tense, "I shall leave you two alone. Good evening, my lords." He straightened and walked past Sept into the mansion. I watched him go, my mouth falling open, because screw that motherfucker for ditching me here alone with Sept and not just escorting him off my property.

My anger roared back and I snapped my head to glare at Sept. I came inside, and he backed up as I shut the doors behind me to keep out the cold.

"I could've sworn I told you to fuck off," I told him. Sept frowned at me.

"And I could've sworn I told you I would return... Who is that?"

"My new second-in-command. Because in case you forgot, you never left someone behind to take your place, asshole. I had to go to a line up of geezers to find someone to replace you."

"He doesn't look very old to me."

"He's fucking ancient, but that's not the point. I told you to buzz off. I'll talk to Hades about your pretend dreams--"

"I had another nightmare," Sept cut me off, and I frowned, "Theo, this isn't a joke. I contacted Horus about it and he claims that there's something unsettled in the balance. He says there's something deadly lurking in the darkness and it's coming for you. It's close, whatever it is." I rolled my eyes and started to walk past him, but he grabbed my arm. My anger exploded and I whipped around to punch him, but he caught my wrist. I shoved him back up against the doors and he grunted, then twisted my arms down away from his face.

"Gods, why can't you just leave me alone," I barked in his face, "It's already hard without you showing up here and pretending to give a shit!"

"Theo, you know that's not true and it's hard for me too--"

"Oh yeah, it's so hard! You didn't even tell me you were thinking about leaving, you just fucking left! Your shit was already packed and you were ready to go without even talking to me about it!"

"Because every time we talk, we fight," Sept shouted back, and I fell silent, glaring up at him as he glared back at me, "Gods, Theo, I can't even remember the last time we talked without arguing. I can't remember the last time we had fun together, and I mean, real fun. Not your kind of fun, because your kind of fun isn't fun. It's sick, Theo."

"Wow, gee, thanks, really winning yourself some brownie points here."

"I'm serious," Sept stressed, releasing my arms and I stepped back, eyeing him warily, "Look, Theo. I wish I could say something to get through to you, I do, but that's just it. I know you. You're not going to listen to me. You're not even going to try. So I'm telling Hades about the nightmares. I'm going to tell him I think someone is coming after you." I glared at him.

"If you do that, he'll never let me leave the house and you know that. What the hell is your problem?"

"What's my problem? You care so little for your life you don't care that I'm warning you that someone is trying to kill you, Theo! This isn't some cut on your arm or some scratch on your back! Someone is trying to take your life away from you, send your soul somewhere dark, if anywhere at all! Why can't you care about yourself even just a little bit, if not for yourself, than for the people who do care about you?" I ground my teeth together, not replying to that. I didn't trust myself. And gods, Sept looked so angry.

But that was what I wanted, right? It was why I brushed him off in the first place. I wanted him to come back. To hell with whatever evil was creeping up on me, and the alarm bells in my head telling me to pay attention. I just wanted him back here and I still wasn't sure why.

He cared about me, or at least, he acted like it. So why did he leave? Why did he give up on me? Why couldn't he just accept me the way I was? Why did I have to become someone else for him? Wasn't I good enough?

"What do you want from me?" I managed at last. Sept looked at me in frustrated agony. He came forward, and his scent invaded my head, my eyelids fluttered for a moment as I sucked in a sharp breath. I felt his hand against my face, and gods, it was like a flashback or something. The warmth of it, the roughness of his palm, the weight of it on my cheek. I closed my eyes tightly, breathing inn the smell of him desperately, like it was a drug that I desperately needed.

"I just want you to love yourself," Sept whispered, and I blinked my eyes open to stare up at him in confusion, "Theo, I do love you. Leaving you has been the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. I would give anything to have you back."

"Then take me," I blurted. Sept took his hand away from my face, and I immediately felt the loss of it like an ice cold burn on my cheek. He stepped away.

"It's not my place."

"Why are you doing this? If you love me so much--"

"Theo, I love you, don't ever question that," Sept commanded, and I swallowed hard, "I just... I have to think about myself for once. I spent these past years only focusing on you, trying to help you, trying to save you. I forgot the importance of my own self, to the point where I don't even know who I am anymore. In loving you, I lost myself, and that to me is too painful. And frankly, it hurts to see that you've clearly lost, or perhaps never even knew, who you were as well."

"What does that even mean?"

"It means you need to love yourself, before you can think about loving me, or anyone else for that matter. And right now, you can't do that--"

"I can't do it because you're not here," I exclaimed in frustration, "I don't understand. You're the reason... I just. Sept, I don't know what to say or do now. I need you."

"And that's just it, Theo, you don't. You don't need me to survive. I can't support both of us all the time. It's too much for me."

"Then why did you have to come here? Why did you have to warn me?"

"Because I still love you, Theo. I'll always love you," Sept murmured, and I took a step toward him, but he stepped away from me and cleared his throat, "Even if it means making you hate me. Because I'm telling Hades. He'll put you on lock down and keep you safe." He turned away and opened the door.

"No! Sept, please, don't go!" I lunged for him grabbing him around the torso, gasping out loud, both in surprise at what I'd done and the fact that I fell against him with everything I had. I held onto his body, his rock hard solid body, a body that I also could feel had lost weight over the past few months. I shut my eyes tightly, because I didn't want to see the look on his face as this pathetic wave of pain rolled over me, and it hurt so much and it wasn't anything like the physical pain of a cut. This one tore through me straight to my core.

"Sept, I'm sorry. I'll stop cutting. I'll throw my razors away. I'll even stop playing hide-and-seek when I'm supposed to be working. I'll let you buy that dumb poster of that rapper guy you like so much. Hell, I'll let you listen to the friggin' music if you just please... Please, don't do this. If you love me as much as you say you do, you wouldn't be leaving me, not now. Not ever."

Sept didn't say anything. I blinked my eyes open, and it took me a full moment for what I just did to sink in. I immediately retracted my arms, took a couple steps back, stared at the floor.

Oh fuckin' A. Nothing was more pathetic than this moment here. I suddenly felt like melting into a black hole and disappearing. I felt the heat rushing for my face.

"I wish I could believe that," Sept said at last, his voice hoarse, "But, Theo, this isn't the first time you've said that to me. Two years ago, you said the same thing."

"No, I didn't--"

"Yes, you did," Sept said, and turned to look at me and I stared back at him, confused and in pain as he studied my face with an equal expression of agony, "Theo, you're an addict. You may not be popping pills or shooting up, but you're addicted to pain. And you won't be able to stop until you admit that to yourself and get some help. And that's the kind of help I am not qualified to give you. And to be honest, Theo, I don't think you'll ever stop. As much as I want you to, and maybe you, too, will want to stop and some point, but I don't think you'll be able to. And I can't hurt myself anymore staying here with you, doing this, constantly, over and over again. I just can't. Because I deserve better, and so do you."

"Sept--"

"I'm talking to Hades. About the nightmares. Everything else is up to you. And, Theo, for the love of the gods, if you love me, as much as I know you do, you won't let yourself get killed. Please." I didn't get a chance to say another word because Sept had walked out the door and vanished from sight. I stood in the doorway with the doors wide open, the frigid bitter cold wind billowing into the room, stealing my breath away and sending pain spiraling through my chest like I'd just been lanced.