Asahi looked up from his book and looked at Sugawara, concerned. The older male was coughing, face red. "Suga? Are you okay?"

"Yeah hang-" He stopped and coughed again. His hand clamped over his mouth, whimpering.

"Suga?" Sugawara shot up and ran out of the classroom. Thank God it was closer to the end of the school year or else he'd run into people, causing them to see what was wrong.

He burst into a bathroom, coughing. He pulled his hand away from his mouth and cleaned it off in the sink. Red disappeared into the drain, hiding all evidence of anything that could be happening to him. It was terrifying and painful. He couldn't tell anyone. They'd force him to get better again.

He couldn't do that.

Most people couldn't stop their addictions. Drugs, alcohol, sex were hard to stop. But so was this. This was his addiction and he wasn't going to stop. Not until he had to.

Maybe that would come sooner than later, he wasn't sure. But he was getting skinnier and he was okay. Right?

"Suga?" Sugawara turned to see Daichi standing there, worried. "Hey... Are you alright?"

"I'm okay." Sugawara smiled. He walked over to Daichi and wrapped his arms around his neck, head resting on his shoulder. "Do you feel okay?"

"Yeah." Daichi patted Sugawara's back. "No urges?"

"No."

"Alright. Let's go back to the classroom, okay?"

"I don't want to…"

"Suga."

"I know, I know. I'm joking." Sugawara pecked Daichi's lips gently. "You seem weird today."

"Pfft. It runs in the family." Daichi started kissing all over Sugawara's face, hands holding his waist. Sugawara giggled, turning his head away. Daichi attacked just under Sugawara's ear, squeezing his sides. Sugawara kept giggling, bending away. "Aww. Sugaaaa. You're so ticklish~"

"Ahaha! Wait!" Sugawara turned and laughed again. "Dai we're gonna get caught…"

"I'm just tickling you sweetheart…"

"Sweetheart?"

"E-eh sorry it just slipped out."

"Aww that was cute." Sugawara kissed Daichi gently. "You are such a softy."

"I am no such thing."

"Pfft." Sugawara kissed him again. His hands traveled up into Daichi's hair and pulled him closer. "Mm… it's okay."

Daichi laughed quietly and pressed his lips back to Sugawara's. "You're so sweet…"

"You really are a softy." Sugawara mumbled, leaning back in for a kiss. They kept going back and forth, laughing occasionally if one of them would say something.

There was a soft tap sounded in the bathroom behind him and Daichi froze. 

"Shhhh." Daichi hushed Sugawara quickly, still holding him.

"What's wrong?"

"I thought I heard something." Daichi mumbled. He turned back to Sugawara and smiled. "Let's go back, okay?"

"Yeah, okay."

Daichi kissed Sugawara's forehead before leading him out of the bathroom, looking around nervously. He was sure he'd heard something. Or someone.

****

Sugawara bent down and turned on the shower. He started coughing, holding a hand over his mouth. Another pain erupted in his throat, almost like something from him getting strep throat. He sighed and spit the blood into the shower drain.

Sugawara stood and peeled of his clothes, testing the water with his hand. He stepped in and closed the shower curtain, blocking his view of the mirror across from the shower. Not right now. He didn't need to see it right now.

He stood under the water, completely still. He knew he'd be cold as soon as he stepped away from the water. 

Sugawara took in a deep breath and his chest immediately felt heavy. It kept doing that. Ever since the blood started he'd had a heavy chest and even heavier shoulders. So many issues. So many lies.

He just wanted to be empty on the inside. Like those boys he'd see in movies that always got the perfect love life. His love life was far from perfect. It was all his fault.

He couldn't control his mood swings or his pain. He couldn't concentrate. He couldn't be himself.

Sugawara was just a kid. What did he do to deserve this awful world? His awful cousin and his mind games. It wasn't fair. He couldn't be normal again. There was no stopping addiction. Not unless you wanted to get better.

And what was the point in getting better if you'd just go back?

Things would get worse before they'd get better.

Sugawara snapped out of his thoughts and let in a shaky breath. What was he doing again?

****

"Suga? Why's your hair all wet?" Daichi questioned, stopping himself from taking out a box from under his desk. Sugawara held his arms out, smiling. His body was shivering but yet he was smiling… odd. Daichi stood, hurrying to hold him. "Suga you need to stay warm. You'll get sick again."

"Don't be a party pooper. I just wanted a hug."

"Alright. Let's get your hair dry though." Daichi kissed Sugawara's forehead, smiling. Sugawara smiled back, content with the warmth of the other male. Daichi grabbed a towel from the bathroom, locking the door after he'd gotten it. Sugawara was sitting on the bed, the heated blanket wrapped around him. Daichi sat behind him and started to rub his hair with the towel.

"Mm… warm." Sugawara mumbled, relaxing. Daichi smiled and finished after a few moments. Sugawara leaned back into Daichi's chest, smiling tiredly.

Daichi patted Sugawara's hair tenderly. "I got a few more stuffed animals. Do you want to see them?"

"Mm." Sugawara turned around and held onto Daichi. "You are my teddy bear though."

Daichi blushed a furious red, somewhat shocked. "Suga… come on…"

"Pfft. Okay, okay." Sugawara flipped off of Daichi and burrowed into the pile of stuffed toys behind him. "What types?"

"Bears and a few I think you'd like."

"Me?"

"Yes." Daichi pulled the box from under his desk towards him. Sugawara inched closer, curious. "Patience sweetheart."

"Mm." Daichi pulled out a stuffed snow rabbit, but with a blue nose. Sugawara looked up and smiled. Daichi tapped it against Suga's nose. "It's really cute."

"Thank you." Daichi pulled out a few more that were for Sugawara and dumped the rest out behind Suga. Sugawara actually laughed at them and buried himself under the toys.

"Thank you Dai."

"Mm." Daichi pressed another kiss to Sugawara's forehead. "Go ahead and rest if you need."

"You read me like a damn book."

"Mom is going to introduce you to the swear jar." Daichi laughed. Sugawara laughed as well.

"You can work on your stuff if you need. I can sleep here."

"Alright. Just try and rest, okay?"

"I will."

"Good." Daichi rubbed Sugawara's hair before going to his computer, ever so slightly watching Sugawara from the corner of his eye. He could tell there was something wrong still but he couldn't lay his finger on it. Sugawara was just… off.