"You have three days. We'll choose another girl from the next village and come back in 3 days. Meanwhile, please pack and say your goodbyes. It is an honour, Miss Wang, to be chosen."

My mother helped me to my feet and it was lucky that she was gripping me tightly, because I felt weak and my knees felt like they were collapsing. It wasn't an honour to be chosen...it wasn't! Chancellor Wu looked at me grimly, his sharp eyes running down my body. I felt strange, like I was being judged and treated like an object. An uncomfortable feeling in my chest told me that everyone in the palace would treat me the same way.

As soon as he left, I sank to the floor, looking around the room. The merrily bubbling stone pot with our rice, rice we had planted and harvested ourselves. Faded cloths covered our baskets of fish, which we were drying after putting salt on them to preserve them longer. I wouldn't get to pack the fish, or place our onions in jars of brown liquid...I wouldn't be here to eat them either. 

"Min ah, let's get ready," Mother said. She was blinking rapidly and ducked her head quickly to hide her tears. Sudden guilt overcame me. I had been thinking only of myself. What of Mother, who was going to lose her daughter? I was her only child, because they had sold off my younger sister the minute she was born. I remembered her well. My younger sister had been named Wang Hui and she had this pretty birthmark on her neck. But financial problems had surfaced and Wang Hui had to leave. 

"It's okay, Ma," I soothed, patting her shoulder. Mother hastily wiped her eyes and hugged me tightly. 

"Min, be safe in the palace. The women there are vicious and you have to make sure you can survive."

"Mother, what if I run away?" I asked her seriously.

She made a sound that sounded like a half-sob, half-laugh, and she shook her head. "You'll be killed on the spot and so will we, dear. You just have to tough it out." After saying that, Mother took my face in her hands. Her hands felt rough and calloused, from years of hard work in the fields and at home. "I love you, Min. You're so young, only sixteen...it pains me to see that you're going to be one of the Emperor's harem."

I was shocked. "What? But you said I had to marry young!"

"Traditions," Mother replied with a gentle sigh. "It is the will of the men. We have no choice but to follow. I can't do anything, and besides, your Grandmother believes in girls marrying young."

I leaned into Mother. "Ma, will you send letters to me?"

She laughed. "I can't write or read and neither can you, Min."

That was true. I could only read very basic Chinese but I struggled with writing the characters. Besides, all my time was spent doing chores or sneaking out to see Liang Wen, so I had no time to do that anyway. 

"Li Tai can help you," I urged. "Ma, I'll try hard to write to you."

A crash sounded outside and we both jumped. Ma snatched up her needle and thread and continued furiously sewing winter clothes. I rushed to carry the dishes, intending to bring them outside to wash. Father was home, and that was not a good thing.

Father walked unsteadily into the house. I caught a whiff of strong alcohol on him and felt sick. Why did he have to keep drinking? We were already so poor, and yet he always went to the village shop to drink with the pretty servers. Our village had a little hut where people could go to drink alcohol and the most frequent customer was probably my father.

Mother looked upset. I felt terrible for her, as I always did. She was always patient and sweet with Father but he never reciprocated it. And of course theirs had been an arranged marriage, just like all the couples. Mother deserved better. 

Father sneered at me. "I hear you're leaving. Good riddance."

"I'll be glad to leave you," I flashed back, in a fit of anger. Oh no! What had I done? I'd just talked back to my parent. This would earn me a scolding...

Sure enough, Father grabbed my arm and began to scold me, but Mother pulled him off me. "Min is leaving soon, just be nice to her!"

Angrily, he shook us both off and stalked to the bedroom, where he probably was going to sulk. I lowered my head. "Sorry, Ma."

"Don't show your spirit," she warned. "I know you have fire in you, but it doesn't do for girls to show them here."

"Yes, Ma." 

To clear my head, I walked out to the well and washed my face, then decided to pay Liang Wen a visit. Liang Wen was grinding chilli for his mother when I saw him. 

His face lit up as I approached. "Hey, Min," he smiled.

"Oh, Wen, they...they're taking me," I mumbled. 

He averted his eyes, and then said quietly, "I know. Li Tai dropped by to tell us."

"Right," I said. I couldn't look at his eyes either.

"Let's just always remember each other," he said finally. His face was full of pain, but Liang Wen smiled at me bravely. "It's impossible to expect that I can see you again."

The unspoken truth between us was that:

1. I would be married to the Emperor.

2. Liang Wen would marry a girl from the village. He couldn't be single, and besides, he had a handsome face, so girls would want him.

"I won't forget you," I promised him, a tear leaking from my eye. 

Concern flitted across his face and Liang Wen stood up quickly to wipe away the tear. Suddenly, my eyes were stinging and I moved away quickly.

"Don't cry," he said softly and tried to wipe my eyes.

Despite how bad I was feeling, I laughed, more tears emerging from my eyes as the sting of the chilli got into my eyes. "Please don't try to wipe my eyes."

"Oh." He looked embarrassed and mumbled, "Sorry. I forgot."

"No, it's fine," I laughed.

He pulled me in for a hug and I breathed in his scent- grass and wind. Even at 14, Liang Wen was taller than me. I was very short for my age, probably because I'd grown up always hungry. It was comforting to lean against him and pretend nothing mattered except us.

"Wen!" A shriek rose behind us.

Against me, his body stiffened. We slowly turned, and met the piercing gaze of his mother. Liang Tai was holding an axe (she had been cutting wood, I think) and her jaw was slack in amazement. Quickly, she crossed the grassy patch and came to us. Liang Wen pushed me away quickly, our faces burning. 

"So this is who you've been sneaking out to meet," Liang Tai said, her eyes narrowing.

I bowed. But before I could even greet her, she dismissed me, saying, "Go away. Leave my son. I heard you are going to the palace, you shouldn't be caught with another man."

"Ma," Liang Wen tried. 

"No, it's simple as that. I would have supported you two marrying, but not now. If you continue to be stubborn, the Liangs will die. Don't you know the punishment for touching the Emperor's ladies?" Liang Tai hissed.

Both pain and realisation flashed in Liang Wen's eyes as he was reminded of that. We were both thinking the same thing: so I am now the Emperor's lady.

Liang Tai smacked him and said, "Come on!"

She dragged him away, and forbade him to look at me. It was that way here. Sons were also expected to be filial and listen to their parents, so he had no choice but to listen. So he didn't look back.

The next two days passed in a blur. When I walked around in the village, the girls who had formerly shunned me after I'd refused many marriage proposals- an unheard of thing- began talking to me and currying favour. After all, it was a big deal to be chosen for the palace. Other girls stared at me, jealousy smouldering in their eyes. I almost preferred those because at least they were showing me their true feelings.

Liang Wen didn't visit me. I had a brief letter from Wang Kai, which we took to Li Tai, and she read it out for us: "Am working in the Palace as one of the Emperor's guards. Safe and well."

He had never been someone who said much. I think that was the only thing I looked forward to. I could finally be with my elder brother! 

On the third, final day, a golden carriage pulled by horses entered our humble village. People were amazed and everyone ran forward to look at it. Even Mother couldn't resist and she dropped her bundle of clothes to have a look. I curled up in a corner of my house and took in the scene, but didn't join them. 

Liang Wen suddenly slipped in through our back entrance, his face flushed. "Min, I got this for you." He was breathing heavily, as if he'd just run across many fields to reach me. Which he probably had. 

A delicate jade hairpin was pushed into my hands, and he closed my hands around it, his eyes earnest but hands trembling. "I know people who go into the palace never come back. So I'll come to you, Min. I will."

In a sudden impulsive move, I snatched up a knife and his eyes widened. "Wait, don't kill yourself!"

In spite of the seriousness of the moment, I had to laugh, and I told him, "No, it isn't that! I'm giving you..." struck by sudden shyness, I explained quietly, "I'm giving you a lock of my hair to remember me by." It was a common gift from a girl to a boy she liked, andI definitely liked Liang Wen.

His eyes were cloudy with pain but he smiled the sweet smile only he had, one where the right side of his mouth lifted up more than the left. "Even without that, I'd remember you."

In the distance, a shout brought us both to our senses. My mother was coming back to get me and send me off. I hastily passed him a short black lock of my hair, and Liang Wen kissed me tenderly one last time before he left me, slipping out of the back door silently as if he'd never been here.

My mother entered, her eyes filling with tears. I looked at her once more, silently committing this face to my memory. It was not pretty. It was not youthful. It was a tanned, wrinkled face, but it had the openness and honesty that I loved. Now she looked worn and haggard, but I thought she'd never looked more beautiful. 

She braided my hair, her hands working quickly and silently. Both of us were crying, but we refused to admit it. Then everything happened almost too quickly for me to even understand that it was over, I'd left my home forever.

She shoved a small grey bag into my hands, a bag she'd sewn painstakingly, filled with a jade pendant the size of a tooth hanging from a thin chain- the only thing she could spare, the only thing she had that was hers- and a folded handkerchief, blessed by the village chief. A hug. A kiss. She whispered something, I nodded. I wish I had listened more closely.

I was walked to the carriage. Entered it. Waved goodbye to the cheering villagers. 

After all that, I sank down into my hard brown seat and cried.