Wu Zhao often said mildly (okay, maybe highly) threatening things to people, especially those she didn't like, such as Gao Ling. But she rarely said such things to me. It was almost as if she was baiting me to ask her what she meant. Wu Zhao had sounded so certain. So certain that I would never tell on her, that I would always remain a loyal dog. But how could she assume that? I had a mind of my own. If we were to remain friends, I wanted to be her equal. Maybe scheme with her. I didn't know. All these thoughts, however, were overshadowed by the persistent thought: how is she going to make me shut up if I ever blurt out her secrets? If I knew her methods, it'd surely be easier to avoid falling into her poisonous trap.

No, maybe everything Wu Zhao said was a calculated scheme. I was honestly getting muddled and confused, and most of all, irritated. I didn't want to play her venomous games. Cursing in a very unladylike way in my head, I snapped, "Well, how are you going to keep me quiet?"

She shrugged and gestured to my hair. "Come, let me show you the latest fashionable hairstyle. You'll adore it."

"Are you going to answer my question?" I asked indignantly, pouting a little.

"Of course. My answer has two words. You'll like it. Let me do your hair first."

I acquiesced rather sulkily, knowing Wu Zhao wouldn't tell me anything unless I did as she said first. Thus, I slouched on a wooden stool and pulled the pins from my hair, letting it fall like a heavy curtain down my back. Wu Zhao ran her fingers through my dark hair and began to twist. While she wasn't afraid to yank hard at my roots sometimes, Wu Zhao was surprisingly gentle at other times. She deftly pinned my hair into place and picked up the small mirror lying on the table. "Look. Do you like it?"

I gasped. Gorgeous curls adorned my head, with beautiful butterfly pins cunningly stuck into my thick hair, angled just so they would catch the light and sparkle. I loved it. It made me feel beautiful. "Wu Zhao, you're a genius."

She bowed. "Naturally. I know someone else who'd love this hairstyle too."

"Who?"

She bent down until her rosy lips brushed my ear and some stray hair. "Liang Wen, of course."

Breathe.

I whipped my head towards hers. Eyes searching hers. "Wu Zhao, you can't possibly..." the words died on my lips. Of course she could. Of course she'd want to find leverage over me. The best possible kind. I blinked back angry tears. But before I knew it, I had pounced on her. "How could you?" I screamed. "Aren't we friends? Weren't we friends?"

I managed to claw at her underarm before she pushed me roughly away, with surprising strength. Wu Zhao's porcelain face crinkled in disgust. "Stop acting like a child, Wang Min. I keep tabs on everyone, even you. I'm doing all this for your own good, but you just won't see it."

A dry, cracked laugh escaped my throat. "Ah, blackmailing is indeed for my own good. Right. You're right. Definitely. Who am I to argue with Empress Wu anyway?"

"Silence, or else," she hissed. Her dark eyes glinted murderously as she bored holes into my soul. "You'd best do as I say from now on, or you know the consequences. And don't shove me again. I'll let this slide, just once."

I stood up with difficulty, my knees knocking together and my legs shaking. But I stood up. And I wanted to sound impressive and scary, but only managed to sound scared as I choked out, "You're awful. I won't forget this."

"Yes, you shouldn't, or your beloved might have to pay," Wu Zhao agreed. "If you step out of line..." she shrugged.

"What do you want, Wu Zhao? I'd have remained your friend. You didn't need this precaution," I spat. Anger was bubbling in me. I couldn't think straight. I didn't even know what my mouth was saying.

"Shush. The palace walls have ears." With that, Wu Zhao bowed mockingly and swept out of the room, her skirts swishing and earrings clinking.

Suddenly my legs felt wooden. Wu Zhao had well and truly cornered me this time. But I was in the palace, and while the old me would have started sobbing (alright, I nearly did earlier, I'll admit) this current me knew that I had to strategize and think it through. Firstly, how did she know about Liang Wen? Had she recruited him into the palace? Or had one of her palace eyes and ears find me kissing and hugging Liang Wen in the dark? That seemed more likely. If so, then we were in greater danger than I had imagined. It had seemed so easy to fall into Liang Wen's arms and breathe him in again under the moonlight. But I knew what would happen to us if we were discovered. I'd be stripped of my title as Concubine (or at least, Concubine-to-be). However, I wasn't concerned about myself. After all, I had grown up accustomed to menial work and living simply. If I were to become a servant girl in the palace, it wouldn't be that bad. At least I didn't have to doll up and be fake and scheme.

No, I was worried about Liang Wen. He could be executed for having a relationship with one of the Emperor's women. Or sentenced to life imprisonment and torture. I knew there were only cruel fates waiting for him, and I just couldn't let it happen. His family back home was depending on his salary here in the city. And everyone in our village would be devastated. And most importantly, Liang Wen would be in so much pain...

My breaths came in quick, shallow pulses. I was finding it difficult to push oxygen into my throat and lungs. It was just so painful. My stomach was rolling, too. It felt like the time I accidentally ate spoilt potato and had to lie in bed for days, I was so sick.

Then I remembered that Liang Wen had climbed in one night through a gap in our house's wall, which had functioned as our 'window'. The moonlight had shone on his glossy hair and made it seem even darker, but his face had been pale with fright. He had looked like a ghost. His eyes flickered as he stared at me. I was bundled up in all the clothes my family owned, because I'd been shivering so much, and Liang Wen had said, "Are you okay? You...expanded."

That had made me laugh, and the burning pain in my belly had slowed for a while. When he was there. Only when he was present. Liang Wen always knew what to say to help me feel better, even the most ridiculous of things. He had held my hand and smoothed my damp hair.

He had been the reason I survived that night, when the stomach ache was particularly bad and the concoctions the village medic had brewed weren't helping one bit. And I woke up refreshed and slightly better in the morning. After the sickness had passed, Liang Wen came to apologise for intruding when I was sleeping (or had been supposed to be sleeping), his face flaming red.

Now I had to keep going for him. I owed it to him. I'd make sure he was never punished by the palace royals or superiors. I just had to make sure I stayed away from him. Maybe then Wu Zhao would leave me, and him, alone. I could care for him secretly still, perhaps, somehow. I would find a way. But it was clear now that I could not risk endangering Liang Wen now in the palace.

So I called for a calligraphy brush, and a small square of paper, and drew a picture of a girl who released the fish she'd just caught from the river. Then I bade a palace servant to send it to the guard called Liang Wen. No one would understand the significance or meaning of the painting but him.

Back in our village in Guizhou, we had once tried to catch fish in our local river. That was when we'd been starving, when one year the harvest was particularly bad. And Liang Wen had given the fish to me to eat, but I'd pushed it back to him and told him to take it home and cook it. We argued back and forth until he said, "If you really mean no to me, release the damn fish, because I'm not taking it."

Of course I'd released the fish.

Just as I'd released the fish then, I was letting him go now, too. I had to. For his sake. 

The tears began to fall. 

Hello again! Yes, 2 updates in a row because I honestly don't know when I'll be back. (I'm sorry, I know I'm awful). Hope this chapter was a good read:) and I'd love if you were patient, cos idk when I'm coming back. I just wrote this chapter in the past hour, so yes. The other chapters will take time. I do apologise very sincerely. 

Honestly, I've been trying hard to just go offline recently. I just feel like I spend too much of my time online (school, leisure, etc) and it's sort of alarming to me, because I think there's more to life than the digital sphere. Now, you're free to disagree because I know lots of wattpaders who basically live here and man, I think they're always online or something. Alright, that's it for today. Um...see y'all around, hopefully? I'll try to emerge sometime soon, although realistically...we'll see. 

Thanks, guys. I really appreciate all of my readers and commenters and voters. You're amazing :D