Gem: When I said you should try being friendlier this isn't what I meant. 

Sausage, stirring a cup of tea aggressively: Oh, so now I'm TOO friendly? There's no pleasing you. 

Pearl, who broke into his house an hour ago: Two sugars please. 

Sausage: Coming right up!

Sausage: I don't follow the rules. I follow dogs on social media.

Pearl: What's wrong with you? 

Sausage: Off the top of my head, I'd say low self-esteem, a lack of paternal affection, and a genetic predisposition for anxiety and depression.

Sausage: BE A BETTER PERSON! 

Fwhip: WHY?! 

Sausage: BECAUSE SOMEONE NEEDS TO HAVE MORALS IN THIS RELATIONSHIP, AND IT SURE AS FUCK AIN'T GONNA BE ME, SWEETHEART!

Fwhip: Guess what I'm about to get! 

Gem: On my nerves.

Pearl: Ha! Don't you know the trappers trap can trap the trapper?

  Pearl: I must be losing it, I'm quoting Sausage.

Sausage: Did you miss me while I was gone? 

Fwhip: You were gone?

Fwhip: That sounds super! Doesn't that sound super, Gem? 

Gem: No. 

Fwhip: I think I speak for Gem when I say it sounds really super.

Gem: You're alive. 

Sausage: There's no need to sound so disappointed!

Sausage: You know me, Pearl, I don't take any shit. You know what I say to my haters? 

Pearl: What? 

Sausage: I say: "Please don't hate me, I'm really nice."

Fwhip: Hey, about that love letter you sent me- 

Sausage: *blushes* What are your thoughts? 

Fwhip: The fourth sentence- 

Sausage: Yeah, that's where I got really emotional and I- 

Fwhip: It's "you're" not "your".

Sausage: I'm gonna mix a can of Red Bull with seventeen shots of espresso in a fishbowl and then chug it while Kids by MGMT plays in the background so I can perceive twenty-three spatial dimensions and fight my own soul.

Pearl: Did you buy eggs like I asked? 

Sausage: Even better! 

Pearl: What the fuck did you- 

Sausage: *holding up a chicken* Her name is Fluffy.

A/N Wither rose allaince my beloved

yes i ship wither husbands fight me about it /lh