Wither Husbands
Requested by @BooksAndBakingLady
Sausage thought "Ooh I have a great idea"
Sausage: Do you have a name, or can I just call you mine?
*He says with a smirk*
Fwhip thought "Oh I see"
Fwhip: I seem to have lost my phone number. Can I have yours?
*He said with a smug look*
Sausage: You're so fine, you made me forget my pickup line
Fwhip: Did we go to school together? I could swear we had chemistry
Sausage: Want a raisin? No? How about a date?
Fwhip: What's your favorite drink? I'm asking so I know what to buy you on our first date
Sausage: Hm I thought we already had our first date
Fwhip: Well I'm asking for our next date
Sausage: Have we met? Because you look exactly like my next boyfriend
Fwhip: I never believed in love at first sight, but that's before I saw you
Sausage: Do you have a map? Because I just got lost in your eyes
Fwhip: You owe me a drink. Because when I saw you, I dropped mine
Sausage: Want to go outside for some fresh air? You took my breath away
Fwhip: Aww I did, well I have that affect
Sausage thought "You know what it's time but I'll wait for a few more minutes"
Fwhip: If you were a song, you'd be the best single on the album
Sausage: You remind me of a magnet because you sure are attracting me over here
*He moves closer to Fwhip*
Fwhip: I'm going to have to ask you to leave, you're making everyone else in here look bad
Sausage: Eddie told me not to talk to strangers, but I'll make an exception for you
*He winks and Fwhip blushes*
Fwhip: It's a good thing I have my library card, because I am totally checking you out
Sausage: I hope you know CPR, because you are taking my breath away
Fwhip: Are you a time traveler? Because I see you in my future (Well technically yes)
Sausage: Your hand looks lonely. Can I hold it for you?
*He holds Fwhip's hand*
Fwhip: I believe in following my dreams. Can I have your Instagram?
Sausage: Is your name Google? Because you're everything I've been searching for
Fwhip: Did the sun come out, or did you just smile at me?
Sausage: To quote the poet Katy Perry, "You make me feel like I'm living a teenage dream."
Fwhip: Hey, my name's Microsoft. Can I crash at your place tonight?
Sausage: Did your license get suspended for driving all those guys crazy?
Fwhip: Are you a broom? Because you've swept me off my feet
Sausage: Do you have a Band-Aid? I scraped my knee falling for you
Fwhip: I'm learning about important dates in history, wanna be one of them?
Sausage: Do you play soccer? Because you look like a keeper
Fwhip: You can delete the dating app now, I'm here
Sausage: Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only 10 I see
Fwhip: Wanna touch my shirt? It's made of boyfriend material
Sausage: Aren't you tired? From running through my mind all day?
Fwhip: Are you a parking ticket? You've got fine written all over you
Sausage: They say dating is a numbers game, so can I get yours?
Fwhip: Are you a loan? Because you've got my interest
Sausage: Know what's on the menu today? Me 'n u
Fwhip: I'm new in town, can I have directions to your house?
Sausage: Wow, I've been blinded by your beauty. I'll need your name and number for insurance purposes
Fwhip: Insurance purposes?
Sausage: Of course
Fwhip: Well then, I'm not a photographer, but I can definitely picture us together
Sausage: Are you a charger? Because I'm dying without you
Fwhip: I'd say God bless you, but it looks like he already has
Sausage: Anyone who says Disneyland is the happiest place on earth has clearly never stood next to you
Fwhip: You're so sweet you're giving me a toothache
Sausage: How can I plan our wedding if I don't have your number?
Fwhip: Thinking a little too early love?
Sausage: Hm? I don't think so?
Fwhip: You've got everything I've been looking for, and trust me, I've been looking for a long time
Sausage: Can I have your picture so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas this year?
Fwhip: Go right ahead love!
Sausage thought "Soon Sausage, a few more minutes"
Fwhip: On a scale of 1 to 10, you're a 9 and I'm the 1 you need
Sausage: Do you know what the Little Mermaid and I have in common? We both want to be part of your world
Fwhip: I think someone must have stolen the stars and put them in your eyes
Sausage: You know what you'd look beautiful in? My arms
Fwhip: Hm? You think?
*Sausage nods*
Fwhip: The sparkle in your eye is so bright, the sun and stars must be jealous
Sausage: I think I saw you on Spotify, as the hottest single of the year
Fwhip: When God made you, he was really just showing off
Sausage: Not to be dramatic, but I think you're the answer to my prayers
Fwhip: Something's wrong with my eyes because I can't take them off of you
Sausage: Can I borrow your phone? I need to call Santa Perla and tell her I've found a missing angel
Fwhip: My friends bet me I couldn't chat up the hottest guy in the bar. Want to use their money to buy some more drinks?
Sausage: You must be a talented thief, because you managed to steal my heart from all the way over here
Fwhip: I mean I am
Sausage: You certainly are
Fwhip: Can we take a picture together? I want to show my mom what my next boyfriend looks like
Sausage: I have a question and need a man's advice
Fwhip thought "Oh I know"
Fwhip: Okay, what's up?
Sausage: If I see a really cute guy, should I just go talk to himor is that too direct?
Fwhip: You should talk to them!
Sausage: Hi, I'm Sausage
Fwhip: Well then hi I'm Fwhip
Sausage thought "Okay now"
Sausage: If you let me borrow a kiss, I promise I'll give it right back
*Fwhip blushes*
Fwhip: I um
*He grabs his face and kisses him*
Joel: GAY!
Scott: GAY!
Shelby: GAY!
*They pull away*
Gem: God dammit! Let them kiss
Sausage: I'm not even surprised
Gem: Sorry about that Sausage sorry bro
*She pulls them away*
Fwhip: That was awkward
Sausage: So can I kiss you again?
Fwhip: Alright
Author's Note:
Did I google these? Why yes, if that wasn't obvious
Why? Bc I don't know how to write pick up lines, I thought that was really obvious
Am I judging myself for it? Why yes why wouldn't I, not a lot tho
Why? Bc I'm so fucking tired of everything mostly about school and stupid homework
Do I feel bad for barely updating? Yes I'm very sorry :(
Also Keralis!
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